The nightmare that visits me every night is unchanging, and I feel like itâs getting deeper day by day. At first I was half in doubt over it. But now, It occurred to me that ãWhat if itâs magic thatâs causing it?ã I mean, it could be magic, right? Right from the start, this nightmare that kept bothering my peaceful sleep every night just seemed âunnaturalâ.
Just who would do it, and why? There are endless questions, but I decided as my top priority to first do something about the nightmare.
And now, itâs already been a few days since I started going to the national library for this. Iâll stop beating around the bush and say it upfront: I havenât been able to find anythingâ¦â¦ Not even a single thread of clarification about the source of this nightmare.
ãTo think Iâve come up empty handed today tooâ¦â¦.ã
Muttering that to no one in particular, I close the magical book in my hands with a thud. Iâve started feeling kind of pathetic.
I didnât think I could easily figure it out from the start, but of course itâs depressing to keep blindly fumbling in the dark like this. Itâs really quite troubling that my sleep deprivation is adding to it.
My body feel tensed from all this. Stifling my sigh, I reach out to the next magical book. What if I go for a book on light magic for a change? Even if the reason for my nightmare isnât written in it, there may be something on how to improve the situation. Hoping for that, I opened the bulky book on light magic on the table. It was then that it happened.
ãââOh my.ã
I hear bells chiming beautifully from outside the window, stopping my hand as it was about to turn the page. Itâs the chimes of the clock tower that towers above all else in one corner of the palace. Ding-dong, ding-dong. That sound still echoed around even in the days when the nationâs people were terrified in the demon kingâs shadows.
At that sound, I close the magical book and stand up. I return the books piled up on the table back to their original places. I get the basket and dress coat on the chair beside me, and also my parasol.
The bells indicate that itâs midday. In other words, itâs time to have lunch. Yes, today, I didnât just come here only to find out more about the reason behind my nightmare. I have a proper, full-fledged reason I can say loudly, my chest puffed up with pride.
I lightly nod in greeting to the librarian; since I come here almost everyday, we became acquaintances before I realized it. Then I leave the library, stepping out into the corridor. I can easily slip by the guards I come across halfway through, by showing them the bracelet that man gave me.
Itâs needless to say where Iâm going. Iâm going to that manâs place of work, the Black Lotus Court.
I know from experience the further I go inside, the less people there are. I look down at the basket in my hand. Inside are the sandwiches I made this morning. It must obvious who theyâre for by now.
Since we eat breakfast and lunch together at home, I didnât realize it for a while. But thanks to secret information I received from a certain cooperative personâ¦â¦ I.E., that manâs disciple, the young boy Widnichol, I found out that that man usually works without having lunch. Since then, Iâve been making him lunch like this.
I usually make sure to make something as simple as possible so he can take it along with him in the morning. However, since we overslept today, I couldnât do that. There are many reasons why we overslept, like the typical reasons for newlyweds or because of the usual nightmares, but either way, thatâs why Iâm bringing him lunch today.
I know that he wants to hide not only our marriage, but also the fact that I exist. The Black Lotus Court isnât a place I can freely waltz in like this. But even so, I want him to forgive me today. Iâve dropped by until here countless times, but today I came here especially.
ãâ¦â¦Itâs no good.ã
The dream I saw last night was the most horrible one until now. It was a dream where as I kept hearing that crying voice, my feet felt like they were sinking down like in mud. I barely managed to wake myself up, but it makes me shudder to think about what wouldâve happened if I hadnât been able to wake up.
They do say that sleep is one of the big three desires of humans, but do we really get so helpless if we donât get it? Judging from the common sense of the ãpastã ãmeã, a woman intruding upon her husbandâs workplace is nothing but nuts. But thankfully, this world is rather easy-going when it comes to matters like that, so I freely take advantage of it.
His laboratory is located in the innermost depths of even the Black Lotus Court. There is a fixed route that goes straight through the Black Lotus Court. But itâs much more faster to go around the palace courtyard and to his medicinal plants garden. And on top of that, itâs not very visible to other people either, so itâs rather convenient.
Holding up my parasol, I go down into the courtyard from between the pillars, and in the blink of an eye I travel along a trackless path that Iâm used to. Finally what comes into sight is the familiar scene I expected.
All kinds of plants are coming out in that medicinal plants garden; there is a young girl hard at work with the harvesting, her shears going snip, snip. An acquaintance, I called out to her from outside the garden.
ãHow do you do, Miss Arche?ã
ãEhâoh, Lady Filmina!ã
She shakes in surprise at my call, before raising her head and looking here. Her eyes are the color of black tea, open wide in surprise. When I wave at her, she hastily runs over here. Her walnut-colored hair is done up in a rather short ponytail, cheerfully shaking. It looks just like a puppyâs wagging tail, and I canât help but relax at how charming it is.
Arche Mashie is the brave girl that whimsically accepted the unthinkable position of becoming that manâs gardener. When she reaches here, she quickly lowers her head. Sheâs just an ordinary cute girl, but she must be incredibly capable for that man to allow her to enter his garden, when he doesnât accept compromise in work at all.
In reality, it seems the quality and harvest number of the plants and herbs here has greatly increased from when that man controlled the garden all by himself. I still remember when he unusually said, ãSheâs not bad,ã even though heâs the type to seldom praise people.
I myself gratefully enjoy her blessings as well. One of them is how that manâs special blended medicinal plants tea has greatly increased in variety. Another is the delicious Delia nut I receive, once in fashion with the young girls but still popular even now. Yet another is that through that man, I got a chance to see those early-blooming white flowers, valuable as both herbs and flowers.
I first met her by the side of a pond in this palaceâs garden. I was walking along the same path as I did today when I saw this young girl sitting by the side of the pond.
I wondered if she was sick, calling out to her. What came in reply was a grand crying voice. I couldnât do something like ignore a sobbing young girl, so I stayed with her until she stopped crying. But I certainly didnât think she was that manâs gardener. Iâd heard that he employed a skilled gardener, but who could have thought it would be this girl, so young?
The young girl who had kept working for that man before he became the hero that saved the world, when he was just a rare âBlack-Hairâ. I could imagine things likeââwhat was she thinking, working for such a man? I didnât mean to be dense enough to not realize the meaning behind that gaze she looked at him with, full of that passion.
Thatâs why I ended up giving her my name. Not Filmina Veer Adina, but Filmina Von Lancent. Told her that Iâm his wife.
Now, I think it was embarrassing. Being jealous towards a girl who could be my own child considering my mental age, going as far as to restrain her â thereâs a limit to immaturity, if I do say so myself.
Yes, back then, I just said those words out of a light jealousy. But now, why is it that Iâm tormented by a deeper jealousyââby anxiety? I donât have enough self-confidence to allow someone to actually have feelings towards that man.
If he wanted to leave me, now is his chance since I havenât been made public yet. His beauty may be androgynous enough to look like a beautiful woman, but heâs still a ãmanã. It wouldnât be that strange if he ran to a cute girl younger than me, would it?
I want to think âthatâs not possibleâ but for some reason, this anxiety still remains in my chest no matter how much time passes. When did I start feeling like this? It couldnât have been like this in the beginning. But even so, for some reason⦠On the inside, Iâm puzzled at the doubts that rise up within my heart. Once again I start feeling like I can hear that crying voice.
ãâ¦â¦Lady Filmina? What happened?ã
ãO-oh, Iâm sorry. Just a little dazed.ã
For some reason, I feel guilty at those black eyes looking at me full of worry. Sheâs a good kid. She really is a good kid. Iâve come to know her in person by visiting this garden countless times and talking to her â she really is a kind-hearted girl.
Thatâs why I feel so guilty at what I said when we first met. Iâm her crushâs wife â to her, Iâm a being thatâs way beyond just a pain in the butt for her. But despite that, Miss Arche always gladly keeps me company. Ah, her cute smile is so dazzling. Iâm realizing just how narrow minded I am.
She looks at me as if to say, âare you alright?â I smile, lying. At times like this, the âsmile maskâ I inherited from my father comes in handy. As the name suggests, it beautifully hides my innermost thoughts.
ãAhaha, thank you for working so hard. Itâs already lunch time but youâre still making such an effort.ã
ãHuuuh?! Oh no, is it already lunch?ã
âThat reminds me, Iâm hungry,â Arche puts a hand on her stomach. That gesture is once again so cute, I canât help but truly smile this time.
ãThank you, as always. Here, you can have this if you like.ã
I take out some baked sweets wrapped in wrapping paper from the basket Iâd brought, putting it in Archeâs gloved hands. She blinks in surprise, looking at me as I smile at her.
ãItâs a reward for you always working so hard. Please eat it whenever youâre free.ã
ãT-thank you so much! Aaah, Iâm so happy!ã
Arche smiles widely, looking at the wrapped package as if itâs something important. By the way, inside are the cookies I baked yesterday. I always make sure to bring something for Arche whenever I come here, as much as possible. Itâs the least atonement I can doâ¦â¦ Or not, but for now, sheâs happy to have them so I approve.
ãHas Edi already been here for the day, Arche?ã
Along with Arche who starts working early in the morning, that man also goes to work early. Itâs to preserve the plants and herbs Arche harvests while theyâre still fresh, but today he left unusually late. Worrying over me as I couldnât wake up early, he especially went to the trouble of making breakfast for me.
Since I have additional experience from my past life, I have more housework skills than maids when it comes to areas like this. But that man can easily surpass me even when it comes to that. He really, truly is a man that can do anything skillfully.
Now if his civility and communication skills were also flawless, he would truly be perfectâ¦â¦ No, Iâll stop myself. Thinking of him being sociable with a dazzling smile is just creepy. All people are more likeable when they have some flaws. Nodding along to myself internally, I look at Arche. For some reason, she looks around, fleetingly glancing at that manâs laboratory.
ãUm, Lady Filmina, today isâ¦â¦ã
ãOh my, so this is Sir Agedilusâs garden!ã
A voice covers Archeâs words, lovely just like a songbirdâs chirping. I and Arche both look to see where it came from. Then, I canât help but gulp.
A girl stands there, so beautiful she could be mistaken for a flower spirit.