Chapter 26: Building Foundations

NADIA

Nathan and I had been living with Theo for close to two weeks now, and Nathan loved it while I continued to be a bitch. I felt bad, but my mind wouldn’t accept all this at face value.

Theo suggested I needed to see a therapist, and I agreed with him. I made an appointment and didn’t tell him because it was embarrassing.

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do,” I shyly told the therapist.

“You do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Umm… okay…”

“Why don’t you start by telling me why you made this appointment?”

“My boyfriend thought it would be good to talk to someone about my trust issues.”

“What kind of trust issues?”

“I don’t trust him to stay. I keep waiting for him to tell me he’s leaving me and Nathan… Nathan is my younger brother that I have custody of.”

“I’m assuming your parents are not in your life. What happened there?”

“Nathan and I do not share the same father, but they left before we were born, and my mother was always drunk, on drugs, or gone.”

“You’re projecting your abandonment issue onto your boyfriend. Has he given you any sign that he will leave?” the therapist asked.

I shook my head no. “He tried everything to show me he is in for the long haul.”

“What will make you feel better about the situation?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know if it’s something I can get over.”

“I think you can if you take the steps. I would like you to consider bringing your boyfriend with you a few times.”

“He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“I thought you said he recommended it.”

“He did, but I didn’t tell him I made an appointment.”

“It’s important to share these things with your partner. Being honest builds the foundation of trust. Trust goes both ways, Nadia.”

“I know.”

I really knew, and I should have told Theo, but I didn’t want to be pitied for needing help.

“I think every other visit should be a couples session with you and your boyfriend. It will help you have things in the open in a judgment-free area.”

Maybe she was right. Maybe this would help me let go of things and give Theo what he deserved.

“Would you like to bring him next week?”

“I’ll ask him.”

Before I left her office, she asked me to keep an emotional diary. She wanted me to write what was going on and how I felt when I second-guessed Theo.

I got home before Theo and Nate. Theo had taken it upon himself to take Nathan to and from school.

He said he used the time to bond with him. I liked the fact that Theo had taken an interest in Nate.

He needed a good male role model. I decided it would be nice to have an early dinner so the three of us could spend some time together.

I had to put forth the effort, and I was going to start with something small. I made a baked pasta, nothing too fancy.

It would fill us up and help us get ready for a night of being lazy and hanging out with each other.

“Dinner is already done?” Theo asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I figured the three of us could eat and hang out.”

“I have plans with Jay,” Nathan yelled out.

“I guess it’s just you and me,” I said with a smile.

Theo kissed my neck as I was plating the food.

“With Nathan out, that means we can have a little fun without worrying about being too loud. I’m tempted to make the basement his area, so we don’t have to be as careful,” he said.

“He would actually enjoy that. Is Jay’s mom picking him up?”

“She is. It’s on her way home from work. She should be here shortly.”

We waited until Nathan left to eat. I planned on using this time to talk to Theo.

“I saw a therapist today,” I blurted out.

“Really? How did that go?”

“Good, I guess. She asked me if you would join us at every other meeting.”

“I don’t mind, as long as you’re comfortable with it.”

“I think it’ll be good for us.”

“Are you happy here? I don’t mean to change the subject. Since you and Nathan moved in, you haven’t seemed happy.”

“I am, I’m just scared. I love being with you, but I constantly worry about something going wrong.”

“What can I do to help you with that?”

“I don’t know. I’m hoping therapy will help. You’re honestly a great guy, but nothing good ever sticks around for us. I would prefer if we didn’t talk about this right now and just enjoy our time together.”

Theo smiled and nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“How was your day?” I asked, trying to make the tension disappear.

“It went well. Being a local writer was different, but I liked it. There was actually a lot to do around here and things to write about.”

“There was always something new to look at.”

“I’d actually been working on a more personal article I hoped to have done soon.”

“Can I read it?” I asked excitedly.

“Not until it’s published. I also talked to Etta earlier. She was trying to convince me to visit and to bring you along.”

I wasn’t sure I was ready to meet his family.

“I told her it might be too soon, and then she countered with, ‘It’s never too soon to meet people.’”

I laughed, because in a way Etta was right, and maybe I should take a chance and meet his family.

Meeting his family would show me who he really was and how he interacted with them.

“I may regret this, because I may end up having a meltdown, but as long as Nathan can come, I’ll go with you to visit.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded at him.

“Etta is going to be so excited.”

That little gesture seemed to improve his mood. Maybe I was the one who wasn’t trying hard enough in this situation.