Alarice was crowned as the Empress once again. The news travelled fast as well as the appearance of the two imperial children.
After months of preparation, once again. Alarice found herself in a room she once runaway from. The two table intended for her and for Nicholas, the spacious space filled with nothing but luxury.
It's relaxing and yet burdening. Constantly reminding her of the weight of the crown.
She sat at her usual desk and began reading some documents. Caleb was once again appointed as her aide. He was organizing some files at the cabinet inside the office.
It was only the two of them there.
"I'm glad you're back. your Majesty." He said breaking off the silence
She just smirked. "So you can get away with piles of work?" She joked
"Oh please, you don't know the hell Pierre and I have gone through these years." He said that made her giggle.
Then a knock on the door.
"Come in." She commanded
Nicholas came in with a flower crown in his hand. Her one brow lift.
The never had the chance to have a proper conversation after that night again for they were both busy. Especially Nicholas who was trying to win the affection of the twins. He's teaching Ember swordfighting while also teaching Emery history and politics.
The atmosphere is kinda awkward that Caleb cannot contain it anymore and excuse himself.
"Ember asked me to give this to you." He said awkwardly
He looks a lot better now compared when she first saw him couple of months ago. He use his free time playing with Emery and Ember. A lot of times, he tried to use the kids to have her join them during dinner. Which she doesn't have a choice but to oblige.
Alarice sighed.
"What are you doing Your Majesty?" She asked
"Nothing. Just running some errands for my daughter." He said
"We have a lot of work to do. Please use your time wisely."
"That's what I'm doing. I'm running errands for my daughter while also coaxing you to accept me again. Please?" He asked with his puppy eyes
He looked like Ember when she was asking for sweets. She smiled a little.
"I'll accept the flower but do some work. We have a lot of things to do." She said
Nicholas' face brightens. He puts the flower crown on her head and quickly went to his desk for work.
Days passed by just like that. Nicholas kept on asking her to play with them or join them with their picnics and she keeps on accepting for the children's sake.
She actually hope that this will lasts. It's quite peaceful. She was in the moon palace's garden that day. She was having a breather after a long day of work when she saw suddenly a movement from the bush.
"Who's there?" She asked
The movement kept on and she was about the throw her shoes at it but she realized it was a child.
The child was on his knees looking at her with teary eyes. He looks like around three years old. He was a bit thin and is trembling from fear. His cute face is full of dirt. Nonetheless, his beautiful appearance is still there. His golden blind hair shines under the setting sun and his ocean blue eyes became more drowning-like because of his tears.
"I greet your imperial highness, the third prince." Alarice muttered
The child stand up with his trembling legs. Alarice kneel down to his face level. She bring out her handkerchief from her pocket and wipe his tears.
"My name is Alarice. What's yours?" She said gently
The child was still trembling but lowers his guard a little.
"D-Devy." He said still trembling
His face reminds her of Ember. It's no surprise as they have the same father.
"Are you lost? Where are the servants?" She asked
The child suddenly burst out crying.
"Oh my~ You really are lost. Do you mind if I hold you? We'll search for your maids together." She asked
Devy spread his arms asking to be held which she did. This child was so sweet. It's a little relief to have a sweet child in her arms. Ember was a high maintenance child while Emery was always serious and acts mature.
She was hushing the child while wiping off his tears.
"Mom!" A voice called her
She turns to the direction of the voice and saw the twins being carried by their father.
"Ember, Emery!" She said and walk towards them
"Who's that?" Ember asked looking at the boy in her arms
"Oh." She said and looked at the boy.
Devy was still trembling and turned away his gaze and burned his face on Alarice's shoulder.
"He's your older brother, Devy. He's lost so I'm helping him find his maids." She said
"He's my brother?! He seems sweet unlike Emery." Ember said
"Hey, I'm here." Emery said
"Oh he is." She said
She then looked at the silent Nicholas who was not giving Devy a single glance.
Ah, that was shen she kinda understand the situation. She hugged the child tightly and pursed her lips.
So them being happy together was impossible after all.
"Your Majesty, I'm going to find the maid of Devy. Please wait inside the palace with the kids." She said hugging the child in her arms
Nicholas' face brightens and obliged like a puppy.
"Let's go play inside, demon princess." He said and happily carry the two away
She then turns away also.
"Devy, do you know that man?" She asked
Devy did not answer but she felt him buried his face on her shoulders tightly.
What did you do Nicholas?
--
She was tucking the children to sleep when Nicholas knock on the door.
"Are they sleep?" He asked
"They just fell asleep " she answered
They just stay silent for a while looking at the twins then went outside.
As they were walking in the hall she broke the silence with her question.
"Have you visited Devy? He seems aloof on you."
Nicholas didn't answer but he just kept on walking.
Alarice clenched her fists. "Answer me! What did you do to that child?! He was a prince but he's a bit thin and the maids seems to be neglectful of their duties! He was supposed to be the heir but his situation suggest otherwise!" She shouted
She knows she shouldn't be shouting in the middle of the hall at night but she can't help it.
"I didn't know he was in that situation."
"How can you not know?! It was your responsibility!" She said accusingly
"Can we not talk about this? Please." He said
Her eyes widened. She covered her mouth with her hands and her knees felt weak from the emotions inside her.
"You let that innocent child suffer? Just how much of a trash can you be?! It was your child with the woman you love the most!" She said
"I no longer love Qashanna! It was you who I love!" He suddenly shouted facing her
She took a step backwards. She slowly shake her head from disgust.
"You love me?" She asked
"I do! I've been in love with you years ago! That's why I never wanted to let you go. That's why I'm doing my best to win your heart once again." He said trying to console her
"And what about Qashanna? What will happen to her?" He asked almost in whisper
Nicholas didn't answer but she saw him clenched his fist and his face frowns. Is that from guilt?
"You love her since you were a child. She was the person who you fought so hard for. You neglect me so you can assure her that she still has your heart. You let the duke get away with various crimes with light punishments to protect her reputation. You sacrificed and did a lot of things for her sake. That's how much you love her. And you're telling me that you no longer love her? That you fell out of love? Why?"
"She... She changed. She's no longer the person that I once love. I thought with her I can have a warm home but it didn't happen. It was you who showed me what a real family is." He said in whisper
Ah. She get it now. Nicholas didn't have the chance to receive love unconditionally so he also cannot give love unconditionally.
"Nicholas, that's the thing about being in a long term relationship. You got to love every version of them. Correct them if they're doing wrong, gently criticize them, grow with them. But you didn't do any of that. You let her become insecure causing her to do evil deeds just so she can keep you. You let her do those things as your act of love. You just keep on protecting her without teaching her how to protect herself or even you in return. You have this idea of what should be expected of her but didn't ask her what she wanted to be. You just kept her in the dark hoping that she'll understand every whims and decisions of yours. She became so unstable emotionally that she held on his abusive father's hand once more. Can't you understand Nicholas? That's how much you pushed her. You're the reason why she changed. And now you're neglecting her and your child."
Nicholas felt a pang in his heart with her words. It was the first time that he realized his mistakes on Qashanna. He was her only solace in this world and he betrayed and abandoned her.
She neglected them as deep inside him, he somehow blamed them for the supposedly death of her child with Alarice.
He heard Alarice sighed.
"It was not entirely your fault Nicholas. This society was also in the wrong. It's just that I was born from a world different from yours that's why I can see things in this perspective. I'm not defending your actions but I hope from this point forward, you'll do things right." She continued
That's right. She was just lucky that she has her past memories. She was just lucky that her parents love her in her second life. She felt a little guilty. If only Qashanna and Nicholas has a better childhood. Would their fate won't turn out like this?
"I was also to blame, Nicholas. If only I didn't marry you eight years ago. If only I choose a different path, maybe this will all not happen." She said
His face slowly crumpled from pain.
"Are you saying you regret marrying me?" He asked
"A little. But marrying you let me meet the twins. If not only for them I would regret it so deeply I wanted to turn back time. My selfishness that time hurt so many people. " She said
"No. It's not your fault. It's mine." He said
"Let's not blame ourselves anymore. No matter how much we regret our choices it's already done. We just have to look forward for the future." She said
She then started walking pass him.
"And if your love means that it can change based on your own forced perspective for a person then I don't want it. Maybe one day, I unconsciously stop giving you a warm feeling of home, will you abandon me? I don't want to live my life trying to win your love and overthinking if you will still love me despite my shortages. Don't turn me into another Qashanna." She said and went back to her room leaving Nicholas behind.
After that night. An unexpected invitation was sent to her palace.
Empress Alarice,
I hope you're doing well. I know you wouldn't want to but I was hoping you could join me for a tea this afternoon. Just the two of us.
Yours truly,
Qashanna Beatrice Elmea von Cilmair
--
Here's a long chapter for you!! I hope you enjoyed this!!
And yeah, happy 12K reads!! Thank you so so much for your undying support!! ð
Love yah guys!!
And just a heads up. Next chapter will be the final chapter . This time it's for real not April fool's haha.
Nighty night!!