The Secretary

I slipped out of the void and into a carpeted room decked out in hues of burgundy and rich blue. Very regal.

As I found my feet on solid ground once more, I gave my Void Bond a tug and the frozen body of Enid Squelch blinked into existence next to me.

Where she’d been or what her body had endured in the meantime was a mystery to all of us, but I was certain that nothing mooky had been done to her as we’d passed through the void.

Even the shoggoths wouldn’t have been tempted to take a nibble.

Enid’s body vibrated suddenly and I stepped back as it burst. Ice chunks exploded outward to bounce all over the room as she gave herself a bit of a shake and shiver.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“I think so,” she said through chattering teeth. “Oh! We’re in the Secretary’s office.”

“Yes,” A tight voice said. “You are. And you didn’t even have the common decency to knock!”

I turned to look at the petite woman who was even smaller than Enid. A rather attractive young girl with big blue eyes and a face which should have caused me to feel some small spark of protectiveness to swell in my heart. Cute, I think is the better word to describe her.

However, the rather dark expression she was aiming in my direction left me instead wondering what I’d done to upset her so much.

Oh.

Yes, I’d barged into her room without so much as a warning.

“I do apologise,” I said with a slight bow. “Unfortunately, I had no way of knocking first. Void travel isn’t the most exact of teleportation techniques.”

“I don’t care,” she huffed. “This is my office. Kindly leave.”

“I shall do so,” I said. “But first, if you would be so kind and let me know where I might find the Headmaster?”

“I shall do no such thing,” she pouted. “As his Secretary, it’s my job to screen his visitors so they’re not wasting his time. And you look very much like someone who’d waste his time.”

Enid slid in front of me, holding her arms out apologetically in an effort to calm the plucky girl. “Please, Miss Galloway. I think the gentleman here has caused enough trouble for one day, don’t you? Can’t we just get this over with?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” the young girl said. “I’m just doing my job, Miss Squelch.”

“I know you are. And you do it very well, too. But this is something very much out of the ordinary, wouldn’t you say?”

“I might.”

“Then, could you please tell us where Henry is?”

“I’m not sure I can. He told me explicitly not to let anyone know where he was today. He said he’s very busy and can’t be disturbed.” Miss Galloway pursed her lips. “I rather like my job. I’d like to keep it.”

“Miss Galloway,” Enid sighed. “Do you know who this man is?”

The young girl gave me a once over. I had a feeling that, if you asked her ten years from that day what I looked like, she could tell you everything about me down to the colour of my buttons.

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“No,” she said at last. “I’ve never met him. And he’s certainly not in the Book of Appointments.”

“His name is Taran.”

“Taran?” She lifted a pencil and tapped it against her plush red lips. “The name sounds familiar. I think there’s mention of a Taran in the Meeting Archives.”

“Yes, I’m sure there is,” Enid said. “He’s a void mage.”

“Void mage?” She gasped, her eyes bulging as she twisted her neck to stare at me in horror. “You can’t be serious!”

I lifted a hand and gave her a cheerful wave.

“Alas,” I said. “I am a void mage. You can run if you like, but I’d prefer you told us where the Headmaster is first.”

“He’s in the Meeting Room,” she said quickly. “A General Meeting has been called. Didn’t you get the notice?”

“No,” Enid growled. “I was busy being murdered.”

“Murdered?” She gasped again.

“Yes,” the old lady grunted. “By the Headmaster.”

“Oh. That’s… umm…”

“Miss Galloway,” I said. “I think it’s time for your lunch.”

“Lunch? But it’s only-”

“Off you go, dear,” Enid said.

“But-”

Anything she might have said was interrupted by a loud boom which shook the entire building to its foundations. Dust puffed loose of the ceiling and drifted down.

With a squeak of surprise, Miss Galloway ducked and put her hands over her head.

“Henry?” Enid frowned. “What has the blasted man done?”

“Nothing yet, I should think,” I said brightly.

“Taran?” The old lady rubbed at her temples. “What have you done?”

“Why, Miss Squelch,” I protested. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean?”

“And the explosion?”

“Could be anything.”

“But I’m sure you could guess what it was.”

“Well…” I put my hands behind my back, gripping my cane lightly. “If one were to push, I might have a guess or two.”

“Such as?”

“Well, if one were to consider the relative size of the blast, one might conclude that there’s been a breach in the liminal space matrix.”

“A breach in the-” Miss Galloway’s eyes bulged even more.

Enid frowned. “How?”

“Theoretically?”

“Of course.”

“Well, as you know, the shuffling of rooms within the Mage Guild halls requires dropping them into liminal space and then raising them back up via Destinations, yes?”

“We covered this before, yes.”

“And the room we were in didn’t have a Destination.”

“I do recall that part.”

“And I did mention the void surrounds all.”

“You tried to convince me of that, yes.”

“So, if the void acted as a conduit between one and the other, it might be able to tear a room from liminal space and deposit it in physical space.”

“And how would that cause an explosion?”

“Well. There’s no Destination, is there? Two rooms cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time. So, the matrix the Guild uses to move rooms would overload.” I gave her what I thought was an innocent smile. “It might cause… some damage.”

“How much damage?”

Hmm.” I shrugged. “Quite a bit, actually. I’d say the matrix would be irreparably damaged to start. And whatever rooms were merged would be utterly destroyed.”

“Irreparably?”

“It would mean you’ll have to walk from classroom to classroom, Enid. Your curriculums would need to take note of travelling time.” I smiled wider. “Everyone will know exactly where a room is at all times.”

Miss Galloway paled. “That’s…”

“I know,” I said, feeling pleased as punch. Not only had I resolved the Guild’s issue of having a sub-par library, I had also solved its chaotic rooms situation permanently.

“You’re a monster,” she breathed.

“You’re welcome.”

“Which room?” Enid asked, her eyes narrowing shrewdly.

“Oh,” I looked away. “Is that important?”

“Which room?”

“Theoretically,” I said. “Any assisting entity may have elected to transmigrate a lost room to its point of authorization. Returning to sender, if you like.”

“Don’t tell me,” she said, lip twitching. “You just destroyed the Headmaster’s Office.”

“It sounds a bit petty when you say it like that.”

“You know, you’re more trouble than an entire year’s worth of students.”

Miss Galloway fainted.

Luckily, as a gentleman, I was able to rush around and help her before she slid off her chair and hit her head or something. With Enid’s help, I soon had her slouching in her chair while we fanned her with some of her papers.

“I can’t believe it,” she squeaked. “This can’t be happening…”

“There there,” I said, fanning her face a little faster. “Everything will be fine.”

“I don’t see how!” She moaned, closing her eyes and looking ready to cry. “The Headmaster’s going to be so upset!”

“Really?” I asked. “Do you really think so?”

She blinked and stared at me like she thought I was a fish. “Of course he will be!”

“Jolly good,” I said, feeling very rough indeed. “Now he’ll know how I feel.”