My heart felt like it had been torn out of my chest and replaced with a thousand bricks. My chest constricted as I saw him doing the same thing he did to me. Tears threatened to spill, but I wouldn't let them. I promised myself I wouldn't cry over a man who wouldn't cry over me so I held myself back from letting a tear shed from my hazel eyes.
I stood there blankly, while Liam and Blake looked slightly embarrassed at letting me walk into this, but looked more regretful. Soldier closed his mouth from panting so much and looked up at me for an order. But my mouth wouldn't let me say anything. The lump in my throat grew bigger and I constantly kept gulping it down because this type of man did not deserve such a reaction out of me.
Soldier scratched on my exposed leg and whimpered a bit. And when he didn't see me move, he turned back towards Kai and barked.
Kai quickly turned his head in my direction and the regret quickly washed over his face like a bucket of cold water. The guilt he held in his eyes showed just as clear as his black suit, and his hair was messier than my emotions right now.
He looked between the three of us and pushed the girl away quickly and started rushing towards me, but I turned around and disappeared into the sea of people in a flash before he could speak to me.
I heard him calling my name from behind me, but it all turned into muffles. And that's all I heard as I rushed between the people, muffles. The orchestra was now left far behind me as well as the chatter of the other partiers. The only clear thing I could hear was my heart beating quickly against my chest and the sound of my rapid breathing. I kept looking around for anybody else that was familiar to me, but no one came into view and that made me panic a little bit more.
I finally made the choice of not trying to find anybody but instead deal with my panicked state myself. I pushed past the people to the nearest wall and leaned against it. I kneeled down so I was eye level with Soldier and started softly running my hands through his fur, trying to steady the rhythm of my breathing. I felt his paw on my shoulder and I knew he was trying to comfort me in my state, and I still swear he's not a dog.
I looked back up to him to see him panting, making it look like he was smiling. I kissed his head and stood back up just as I felt my wrist vibrate. I looked down to the watch and saw a message from Joe.
Joe:
You can announce in five minutes, where are you?
I looked around for anything he could look for to find me. I finally saw the bathroom sign and texted him where I was. I then rushed into the bathroom so I could get more air and get away from the large crowd; and plus, I need to pee.
I unlocked the stall door to see Soldier patiently waiting for me on the other side. I rubbed his head before washing my hands in the porcelain sink.
I looked up at my reflection and made sure the door was locked before I took off my mask. I examined my features for anything that showed any signs of sadness, and luckily there was nothing.
I shouldn't have come back. I should've just tried to ignore their presence this whole time and act as if I didn't know them. I should've just gotten this night over with and went back home to finish my shit. But I didn't, and do you know why?
Because I had thought Kai was more than the man I saw back there. I believed that he was doing everything for me, because he genuinely liked me. I believed we were growing into something and that we would've lasted longer than just 24hrs.
But now that was all a waste. My time, my words, my breath, my kisses, my first kiss, my first, it went all to waste. It's like he had crumbled me up into a ball full of stupidity and foolishness and threw me away like he has with other women. He disrespected me, and even though I did it first, this one was so much worse.
He hurt my heart, my state of mind, my dignity, all of the things that kept me sane, and he ruined it all. He messed with my mind and played with my feelings like I was just a game. And was I just that? A game? Save the girl who buries herself in her hoodies and then throw her back into the dirt and leave to be smothered in misery?
I needed to get my shit together. Because there was no way in hell I was going to bury myself in tissues and live under my covers for the rest of my life. I had turned this gang around, I had made a name for myself, and I had made history. So why the hell can't I get over this goddamn boy?
"I can. And I will. I will not let the thought of Kai Finnels or him in general interfere with my focus on my education and the gang. I am going to top Kai and the Deck of Cards and run my gang as number one. I am going to work hard, day and night, until even Kai himself grows envious of my work. And I am going to be independent, and hard working. And I am going to make him kiss my ass," I said to my reflection.
I strapped my mask on with my new confidence and walked out of the bathroom with Soldier. Joe and Richard were already waiting for me on the other side.
"Hey, announcements just started-"
Before Joe could finish his sentence, the announcer had called me up, "And up next to make their announcement, Silver from the Shattered Jewels!"
Part of the crowd cheered in enthusiasm while a small amount of it remained quiet as I walked up the stage. Richard and Joe had helped me up as well as Soldier, and stopped me in front of the microphone.
"Good evening everyone, my name is Silver, leader of the Shattered Jewels," the same part of the audience cheered while the other filled the air with whispers.
"You're a girl?" A man asked in the crowd.
"Is that a problem?" I fired back.
They sat silently and so I continued, "Yes, I am a girl. And I've also been told that I am the youngest. You all were aware that my brother Jewels had run the gang before me, correct?"
They all mumbled yesses, "Sadly, he has passed. He was the man who had been plotting the whole ' stealing from other gangs and selling it as our own ' idea. And I know you all may see my gang as a threat, but I can assure you we are not. These past two weeks since I've been taking lead the Shattered Jewels had turned it's purpose around and runs around just the same as you. I do not intend on being unfair, and I apologize for my brother's choices during his leadership but I'm here to change that. And we will not be known as the Shattered Jewels anymore."
The crowd watched me in awe and wonder as I continued, "We are now Illium."
Cheers and claps filled the air, all now from the whole audience. Whistles were heard here and there which made Soldier bark in enthusiasm. They all chuckled and laughed at his behaviour and soon quieted down as I started to leave the stage.
The orchestra continued to play and many men had approached me in congratulations and wishing me the best. Some offered me drinks, many offered a dance, and some offered for me to sit with them.
I declined politely and made my way back up the stairs before a big man with streaks of grey that ran through his jet black hair approached me. Even though he didn't show much skin, I could tell he had tanned skin and dark brown eyes.
He gave me a small smile and held his hand out for me to shake, "Congratulations Silver, I hope we meet again," He said encouragingly.
I took his hand in my own and shook it with a small smile. Joe and Richard helped me up the stairs with Soldier leading the way.
Halfway up I heard someone calling my name, "Silver!"
I turned back around to see Kai hurrying up the stairs to try and reach me. I picked up my pace a little while Joe went back to stop him. I heard many protests from behind but I didn't care, I didn't need a fucking distraction.
Richard held the door open for me but before I could get in I was yanked back into a firm chest. His cologne filled my nostrils once again and I almost melted at how much I missed it.
"Diamonds please, I didn't mean to," he said breathlessly.
"I'm sorry Kai," I said looking up to him.
"For what?" He asked confused.
"For not answering your phone calls and avoiding you, but that's all I wanted for you to hear. I don't need your love or your respect anymore, and you sure as hell don't need me," I spat.
He looked at me with shock and guilt and I took that as my chance to pull away. I rushed back into the car where the two men and hound were waiting for me. I slid in quickly, ignoring his shocked state.
Richard rushed out of the area quickly and out into the busy road. I sat in the middle of the backseat and started playing with my fingers nervously, trying to get the feeling of his hands in mine away.
"Boss, what was that about?" Joe asked as he turned to look at me.
"Before I was leading Illium, I was and kind of still am part of an underground fight club. Kai and I had attended the same school and at the time I didn't know he was part of a gang. He recognized my tattoo from when I was fighting and kept on chasing me so I would fight for him for a deal with the Royal Aces. I had created a friendship with him and his inner gang and they helped me out with a situation I had. Kai let me stay in his house for awhile, and during that time I had found out about my brother's gang. So one night, I sneak out of the house and I'm automatically the new leader of Illium. Kai and I grew a liking for each other but back at the ball, I don't think I like him very much anymore," I mumbled the last part.
I never saw the point in lying to them about this one since right now, I felt like I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything but emptiness in my chest and I felt completely hollow. As in if someone would punch me right now, I'd totally break like glass. But I didn't care, and I couldn't care.
I didn't notice we had already parked into the parking garage until my door opened. Soldier jumped out and waited for me as Joe held his hand out for me to hold. I gratefully took it and instead of letting me walk, he carried me instead.
He lifted me like I was weightless while Richard walked behind us.
"You look exhausted boss, but we have a plane to catch in about forty-five minutes, you think you can last that long?" Richard joked.
"As long as someone gets me food, I'm unstoppable," I joked. Both men laughed at my enthusiasm and carried me into the elevator, and into the penthouse.
Joe had set me down on my bed and left to start packing his things up. After five minutes of feeling absolutely drained, Soldier barked and ran in a circle and I laughed at his energy. It automatically made me feel happy and I started shimmying out of my dress and into a pair of red sweatpants and a white spaghetti strap crop top and slid on my white slip on vans. I started packing everything I had brought with me and when I was done, Richard helped bring my things down to the living room.
I kept my go to bag on my shoulder and looked at my watch for the time, "12:58, and when does our flight take off?"
"1:30 boss," Joe replied.
I nodded my head and I locked up the penthouse behind me. We walked outside to our limo and Soldier did his business before he got in.
The ride to the airport was silent but it gave me time to think. I started thinking about my room at Kai's house and I knew I had to leave there since he wasn't going to need me anymore.
I pulled out my phone and dialed a number I hadn't called in awhile.
"Hello?" He answered tiredly.
"George! How the hell are ya?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Diamonds what the fuck it's like one in the morning," I heard him shuffle around on the other line.
"I know, and I'm sorry for waking you Curious George but I need a favor to ask you."