Chapter 442

Chapter 0442 "Eh, what do I say to that? I'm nota believer of positive and negative energies.

“So, if I may ask, why are you here, I Emma? What made you decide on therapy?” her question comes as a surprise and for a moment I fumble with my answer.

“I didn’t want to come. Hell, I’m not even the one that booked it, but my friend thinks it will be beneficial for me. She thinks I need to heal and forgive myself before I can move forward.” The words just tumble out of my mouth without warning, which shocks me. I never intended to tell her the truth.

She smiles at me, her face radiating peace. “Honesty, I like that. That’s one thing that I prefer my clients having.

Without honesty, how can I help them, right?”

When I don’t say anything, she continues.

“You mentioned forgiving yourself;am I wrong to assume that you feel guilty about something?” “I feel guilty about a lot of things,”

What the hell? Did she do something to me? Is there something in the humidifier that makes people open up and talk? Because how the hell did I admit that to her so easily when I never admitted it to Molly? “Guilt is a strong emotion. What else do you feel?”

“Regret, loss” “That’s good. Guilt and regret usually go hand in hand. It’s hard to feel regret and not guilt and vice versa. In your case, I think you lost someone precious to you, and the guilt and regret of not valuing them is eating you inside”

I Ifight back the tears, because she was damn right. She hit the mark on the spot.

“Before we can get into those three— emotions, I want you to tell me about your childhood. Your parents, siblings, friends, childhood crushes. Walk me through your life as a teenager and then as a young adult. Can you do that for me?” I nod and proceed to tell her everything.

She listens as I bare everything. By the time we get to when Ava and Rowan slept together and then what happened after, I was a hot crying mess. I managed to pull through though and told her everything.

“There is a lot to unpack from what you’ve told me, Emma, but that’s why I am here” she says once I am done talking. “I’m here to help you deal with you pain and hurts. I am here to help you heal” “Thank you” I snivel and wipe my nose and tears.

“Our time is over, but I want you to give you an assignment. Go buy a journal, okay? And in our next session you'll tell me why you bought that specific journal.

What attracted you to it. Is it because it’s your favorite color? Is it because you like leather covers? That sort of thing” I nod, understanding what she meant.

“Then I want you to write down what you felt about Rowan and Ava. I want you to write what you felt about Calvin and Gunner. I want you to write what you felt about yourself. Mark those words, Emma.

Not what you feel, what you felt, back then when you were in uni” “Okay” She then takes my hand and squeezes. “I want you to know that I am proud of you.

This is a huge step you are taking and I am so proud of you for having the carriage to bare your wounds. Healing is messy, but I'll be here to guide you through it.”

I Idon’t why, but it feels so fucking good to hear her say that. It eases something inside me.

“Thank you, Mia” I tell her. She told me to call her by her name.

“Welcome” she smiles and then stands up. “I'll see you in our next session” I walk out of her office feeling lighter than I have in a very long time.