Chapter 0233 Rowan âSir? Is there anything you need me to get for you from the restaurant?â My secretary asks, but I continue staring outside my office window.
The view was really great. It was one of the reasons why I chose it, but today it didnât offer me the tranquility it usually does.
âNo. Not today,â I answer without looking at her.
âOkay then, Iâll be back in thirty minutesâ
I donât answer her and after a few seconds I hear the door closing. I sigh in frustration. For some reason the feeling of foreboding clung to me. It surrounded me in waves. Today more so than the previous days.
I donât know what it is, but my heart is anxious. I canât settle nor can I F***ing focus. Itâs like trying to tell me something, but I canât figure out what.
my soul is Trying to distract myself, I think about Ava and our talk. I get her. Damn do I get her hesitation. Iâve spent more than ten years drilling into her that Emma was the only woman Iâll ever love.
I did everything in my power to show her just how little I cared for her. Iâve spent nine years punishing her for something that was beyond her control. I drilled into her head that I hated her with every fiber of my being.
How then could I turn around and claim to love her?
Itâs frustrating as hell, but I understand her. I understand her reluctance to believe me. If the roles had been switched I wouldnât have believed it so easily.
Apart from all that, I also have to consider the pain Iâve caused her. Nine years of pain and mistreatment isnât something you get over within a day or week. Hell. It will probably take years to heal the wounds! inflicted.
The scars will remain with her though and considering the damage I caused, I canât help but wonder if sheâll ever forgive me.
I want her. I want her in my life. I want to build a life with her. I crave that more than anything, but if she doesnât take me back, then let it be so. Iâll have no one to blame but myself. It will be my penance for the hurt Iâve caused over the years, I try to focus on her. To focus on her beautiful face and tactics I could use to get her to take me back, but Iâve never felt this way before. Never had this unshakable feeling like something bad was going to happen.
ry to assure myself, but it doesnât work. I stand up and start pacing again. I felt wired. Like I was going I crazy.
I run my hand through my hair, probably messing it up, but I donât F***ing care. Not when I feel like my F***ing heart was being squeezed by a tight fist..
I turn on the TV. Maybe hearing other peopleâs voices will help me calm down. It was better than listening my own since it was distorted, jumbled and confused the hell out of me.
to my I donât know for how long I stood pacing through the room when my door opened. I turn to find Gabe. He looked like hell froze over. He was breathing heavily, his eyes looked bloodshot and there was worry and anguish in them.
I still in my tracks. Fuck. My brother is usually impeccable and not easily fazed. We share that trait as twins. If he looks anything other than that then something serious must be wrong.
âWhat is it?â ask as my heart rate picks up.
Fuck was it our parentâs? Maybe Noah?
âRo...â he starts but doesnât finish his sentence. His voice was mixed with pain.
âFuck, Gabe. Tell me whatâs wrong. Is it mom or dad?â