Chapter 193: Chapter 193

Chapter 0193 +15 BONUS “I honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t answered me I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it’s a recent thing. All I know is that I love her now.”

I run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize you someone!

love 7 think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t allow yourself to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a thing for them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something for her.”

“Sex is a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how I treated her.

“Really? Did you imagine you were F***ing Emma because you missed her or because you needed something to hold you back?

Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma that you held on to for dear life?”

I sit on the stool completely dumbfounded. I never thought about it like that. I admit I was attracted to her, otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt for Ava.

In my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over and over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now I’m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing life.

“Fuck. I messed up big time,” I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was on my shoulders.

“Do you love Emma?” he asks and shake my head in a no.

“Are you sure? Is all the love you had for her completely gone?”

I think about it for a minute before answering.

“Yes. When she first came back, I thought that it would be our second chance at love. It took a while to realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake. That should have been my first clue that I was done with her. That and the jealousy I felt towards Ethan”

+15 BONUS can’t begin to explain the rage 1 felt every time Imagined Ava and Ethan together. It was all consuming and volatile guess it look losing her to make you realize what you felt for her. It took seeing her happy with another man to bring forth the love you suppressed. You held on to Emma because of the way things ended abruptly between the two of you. None of you got any closure. That’s why you held on to each other’s memories for so long”

get what he is saying, and F*** does it make sense, but it doesn’t help my case. So much damage has already been done. I said words I could never take back. Did things that will forever be imprinted on her mind. I destroyed her with my own two hands. It “What are you going to do?” he asks me after a while.

1 don’t know. I was blinded by Emma before, but not anymore. Ava is F***ing beautiful, and she can get any man she wants.

There are already some who are sniffing around her, as Noah clearly likes informing me.

I feel so dejected. What is to stop her from falling in love with someone else?

She was not only beautiful but also intelligent, caring, kind, and loving. She has a heart of gold, and she loves fiercely. Any man would be lucky to have her.

I mean, F***, she was able to change Ethan. I saw it in his eyes. He had fallen for her. Any woman who is capable of making a man change his ways is a F***ing saint. I was a F***ing idiot for not realizing the treasure I had.

Gabe claps me on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I’m positive of that”

I wish I was as confident in myself as he was in me, because deep down I know I don’t deserve her, and my biggest fear is losing her to someone who does deserve her love.

Chapter 0193 +15 BONUS I honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t answered me. I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

“I don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it’s a recent thing. All I know is that I love her now.”

I run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize you love someone!

“I think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t allow yourself to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a thing for them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something for her.”

“Sex is a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how I treated her.

“Really? Did you imagine you were F***ing Emma because you missed her or because you needed something to hold you back?

Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma that you held on to for dear life?”

I sit on the s stool completely dumbfounded. I never thought about it like that. I admit I was attracted to her, otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt for Ava.

In my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over and over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now I’m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing life.

“Fuck. I messed up big time,” I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was on my shoulders.

“Do you love Emma?” he asks and shake my head in a no “Are you sure? Is all the love you had for her completely gone?”

I think about it for a minute before answering.

“Yes. When she first came back, I thought that it would be our second chance at love. It took a while to realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake. That should have been my first clue that I was done with her. That and the jealousy I felt towards Ethan”

+15 BONUS I can’t begin to explain the rage I felt every time imagined Ava and Ethan together. It was all consuming and volatile.

I guess it took losing her to make you realize what you felt for her. It took seeing her happy with another man to bring forth the love you suppressed. You held on to Emma because of the way things ended abruptly between the two of you. None of you got any closure. That’s why you held on to each other’s memories for so long” i I get what he is saying, and F*** does it make sense, but it doesn’t help my case. So much damage has already been done. I said words I could never take back. Did things that will forever be imprinted on her mind. I destroyed her with my own two hands.

“What are you going to do?” he asks me after a while.

“I don’t know. I was blinded by Emma before, but not anymore. Ava is F***ing beautiful, and she can get any man she wants.

There are already some who are sniffing around her, as Noah clearly likes informing 1. me.

I feel so dejected. What is to stop her from falling in love with someone else?

She was not only beautiful but also intelligent, caring, kind, and loving. She has a heart of gold, and she loves fiercely. Any man would be lucky to have her.

I mean, F***, she was able to change Ethan. I saw it in his eyes. He had fallen for her. Any woman who is capable of making a man change his ways is a F***ing saint. I was a F***ing idiot for not realizing the treasure I had.

Gabe claps me on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I’m positive of that”

I wish I was as confident in myself as he was in me, because deep down I know I don’t deserve her, and my biggest fear is losing her to someone who does deserve her love.