Chapter 0183 I smile. âI already fired her and hired a new secretaryâ
âWhen?â
âAfter the night of the dinner gala. I didnât like how she talked about youâ
She looks shocked. I mean Christine had been my secretary for years. I just didnât know she was a complete bitch. Scratch that, I didnât care that she was a total bitch to Ava.
My smiles falls, when I realize how I let others and myself disrespect her. Sheâd been my wife. The mother of my son. I should never have let that shit slide.
She doesnât say anything after that. Just looks at me like she canât figure me out.
âWhat did Doctor Raven mean when she talked about your first pregnancy?â I ask remembering what was said in the clinic.
âCanât you just let it go? It doesnât matter. Noah is now healthy and everything went well. Itâs all in the pastâ she averts her eyes, but I her voice catches and I know itâs painful for her to talk about it.
âAva? Just tell me. I want to F***ing knowâ I insist. I was desperate.
Going to all these appointments with her, I realize how much I missed when she was pregnant with Noah. I never even got to hear his heartbeat the for the first time, Her eyes flash. Masking the glimpse of pain I saw in her eyes.
âTell you what Rowan? That I was an eighteen year old pregnant girl who was scared and alone? That sometimes my blood pressure would spike up and Iâd get admitted due to stress? That the constant hate from my family, my husband and in laws was too much that I fell into depression? How about the fact that the Raven told me with how my health was deteriorating, there was a chance my baby wouldnât survive?â
She takes a deep breath before continuing. âI rarely saw you at home and when you did come all you did was tell me was how you hated my guts. I gave you an escape that day, but you didnât take it and heavenâs do I wish I had fought harder to run away and get away from all of you. You told me you hated me without realizing that even though I loved you, I also hated you right back. Coming to that bar was the biggest mistake of my life. You, Rowan are the biggest mistake of my F***ing life, but the thing is I canât take it back and I wouldnât if given a chance because that means regretting Noah, and I can never regret him.
âNow if youâre done rehashing the past and opening wounds that Iâm trying to heal, Iâm gonna leave. Have With that she turns away and leaves.
I canât believe that we almost lost Noah. That all the mistreatment from me and the other caused her health to deteriorate. We were busy hating her, while she was suffering all alone. It breaks me knowing! had a hand in destroying her heart.
I watch her as she gets into her car. My heart constricting at what an asshole I had been. I didnât realize it then, but I wasnât the only one who was suffering. I refused to see her side. Refused to see her pain. She was eighteen for F***s sake.
She leaves. Iâm left staring at her car until it disappears.
Running my hands through my hair, the gravity of the pain and hurt I put her through hits me like an of bricks. There was so much pain in her voice. So much anger. How the hell was I going to make up for years of mistreatment?