Chapter 0177 Itâs been two days since Emma and I were kidnapped. The police have searched for Reaper, but he was in the wind again. They couldnât find him and those of his men who were caught werenât talking.
Iâve lived in constant fear since then, I donât want something like that happening again. I especially didnât want to be targeted for something that I wasnât even involved with.
I âMom can I play video games?â Noah ask bringing me back to the task at hand.
Iâve done all my chores in the hopes of keeping my mind from thinking too much. I was currently folding our clothes. After this, I didnât have anything else to do.
âSure. What time did Gunner say heâs coming?â
Those two were now joined at the hips. They did everything together even when they were in school.
Their bond was so special and it reminded me of the one Rowan, Gabe and Travis have had since they were young boys.
âAround threeâ
âOkay. Iâll make sure to have some snacks for you twoâ
He k*sses me on the cheek. âYouâre the bestâ
After that, he leaves and I am once again left with my thoughts. Itâs like for the past few days Iâve done nothing but think. It was driving me crazy. The thoughts just kept coming. Even when I was asleep.
Everything was confusing. Especially where Rowan was concerned. He has called a few times, but instead of talking to him, I just hand over the phone to Noah, I wasnât in the right mental capacity to deal with him or the new character he has suddenly developed.
His actions these past few months are so contradictory. How can I all of a sudden mean something to him when I didnât for the last nine years? What has changed?
Nothing different has happened. I am still the same Ava. The same woman who he kept rejecting her love.
If this change in him had happened a few years back, I would have jumped at the opportunity. Now though, I feel like too much has already been said and done. There are just things that I canât erase from my mind or my heart. Words said that can never ever be taken back and actions that can never be undone.
But isnât this what youâve always wanted?â a voice asks me. âTo have him see you, pay attention to you, want youâ
I canât deny that. I always dreamed of a day when Rowan wanted me, craved me. But itâs a little too late.
now. I let go of those fantasies a long time ago.
Those were the fantasies of a girl who was in love and craved love. The woman I am now understands that some things were just never meant to be.
The woman I am now understands that hurt is more powerful than love. She understands that people you love can break you to the point where youâre nothing but pieces on the floor.
She understand that love is never enough and that you canât force someone else to love you. Finally, she understands that once something is broken things can never be the same again, that includes a broken heart and trust.
s playing w Falling for whatever game Rowan be foolish. He already destroyed me once and I canât let that happen ever again. I donât want to ever go back to a time where I would look at myself in the mirror and not recognize the woman staring back at her. I canât risk that..
Protecting my heart and being there for children is my top priority now. That has to be enough. The love I have around me is enough, even if it isnât romantic.
My silly dreams of finding my prince charming is long dead. Rowan and Ethan taught me that. They taught me that fairytales are exactly that, tales and we know that tales are fiction.
Iâm shaken from my thoughts by the sound of knocking on the door. I look at the time and realize itâs almost three. I have been sitting here, drowning in my thoughts for almost an hour and a half. I needed to sort out the mess that was in my head. I canât keep this up for long.
Sighing, I stand up. I knew it was probably Gunner because he was the only one we were expecting. I would make them the snacks I promised then take a much needed nap.
Opening the door, I am shocked to find Gunner standing outside with his dad.
âHeyâ I greet him awkwardly after giving Gunner a hug.
He doesnât need invitation so he rushes inside and up the stairs the moment weâre done greeting each other.
Calvin and I are left standing awkwardly, staring at each other.