Chapter 0165 Rowan.
âAre you going to brood forever?â Gabe asks in annoyance.
I donât pay him any attention. Just continue staring at the amber liquid in my glass, contemplating how whim things went downhill with Ava so fast.
Iâm not naïve enough to think that she was acting irrationally. She was acting like a normal person would. A person whoâs been hurt over and over again by people she loved.
Thereâs s this strong need inside me to soothe her pain. To take all her hurts away. To heal her. How can I do that, though? When Iâm the one that F***ing put it there in the first place.
âYou canât continue like this, Ro. If sheâs not giving you the time of day, then leave her the hell alone!
Emma wants you for crying out loud. Hell, Itâs not like youâre lacking when it comes to the women that want you,â he grumbles, plopping his ass down on the chair.
I donât acknowledge his stupid tirade. Instead, I send him a glare. If my current mood bothers you so much, you can F***ing leave.â
He doesnât understand, and I am in no mood to make him understand. My entire being has recently decided that it doesnât want Emma. Nor does it want any other woman who is not Ava, I used to despise her. Used to think that there was no way I would ever want her. Famous last F***ing words because sheâs all I think about right now. Sheâs taken over every inch of my thoughts and fantasies.
Karma sure is a F***ing bitch, ainât she? Just when I finally acknowledge that I do want her, she decides. that she wants nothing to do with me. The fact that sheâs having a baby with another man is proof enough. of her determination to move on.
I used to be the only man that has ever touched her. The only man she knew quite intimately. I never used. to take that for the F***ing gift it was. Now, someone else knows how she tastes, and I F***ing hate that Ethan gave her something that I used to deny her while we were married.
Shaking those thoughts away, I stand up and walk to the large windows of my office. Thinking of any other man touching her drives me crazy. Itâs pure F***ing torture. I guess now I have an inkling of how she felt when I used to hold Emma between us.
Fuck! How can I make her see that I donât mean any harm? That I donât want to hurt her; instead, I want to heal whatâs broken.
You want to heal whatâs broken, yet you canât accept that you love her? A voice taunts. âWhen are you I ignore those words. Refusing to drown too much in them Yes, I did feel something for Ava. Iâm not even sure when or how they developed. Even if I were to tell her that right now, do you know how insincere those words would seem? She probably wouldnât even believe me. Not after how I have treated her for the past nine years.
My door opens, but I donât turn.
âNow, what has gotten you in such a foul mood?â Gabe asks.
I donât need to turn around to know that itâs Travis heâs talking to. Weâve been friends since we were all in diapers. We know each other like the back of our hands.
âAvaâ
Her name makes me turn around. My focus on Travis.
He looks tired, lost, and utterly defeated. He has lost weight these past few weeks, and itâs worrying all of 1. US.
âWhat happened?â I ask, my voice sounding gruff even to my own ears.
âI went to ask her for help concerning the company. She refused.â He sighs.
Iâve told him I could help, but he refuses. The Howellâs kept to their promise. Sharp Corp was sinking and if nothing was done soon, it wouldnât last even two months before it completely collapsed.