Chapter 0145 âHopefully Noah can get him out of his shellâ I mumble, handing him a cupcake.
I round the island. Taking one of the barstools, I exhale in relief that I was off my feet. I dig into one of the cupcake. My mind completely empty.
âI wanted to apologizeâ Calvin says after a while.
âFor what?â
âComing off as rude the other day.â
I Waving my hands dismissively, I face him. âIn your defence, I was being too extra, so donât worry about itâ
Talking about that day reminds me of the pain I saw in his eyes. Right now he has done a good job of trying to hide it.
Others may assume heâs okay, but I can tell he is not. I recognize the struggle in his soul because I usually go through the same thing.
Itâs easy for someone whoâs been hurt to see the pain others are trying to hide. Especially if itâs the same type of pain that you yourself are experiencing.
âSo what do you do for a living?â He asks, probably trying to make small talk.
âIâm a teacher, but Iâm on leave for the next few monthsâ
I had thought about going back, but I decided against it. Even though I was bored being home alone, I knew I needed this time to myself. Not only because of the pregnancy, but also because of my mental state.
âSo you got together with Rowan? Noah is his doppelgänger. Itâs so uncannyâ
At that I snort. âEveryone in this damn city knows what happened with Rowan. I didnât get with him. It was a drunk night gone wrongâ
I sometimes curse that night when I think of how my life would have been different if it wasnât for my obsession. Then I remember that if it wasnât for that night, then I wouldnât have Noah. In the end Iâm left wishing it didnât happen, but thankful because I got someone precious from it.
âWhat happened?â Cal asks curiously.
clump up. Feeling myself start to sweat. âThatâs a story for another day. Right now I donât want to relieve I havenât heard from Rowan since the day he showed up at my appointment which was three days ago.
I also havenât gotten any surprise visits from Emma demanding I stay away from her man. I think Rowan is probably too busy trying to do damage control with Emma and for that I am grateful.
I didnât want him around me because when he is, he confuses things. His recent behavior is messing with my head and Iâm tired of trying to figure him out, âWhat about you? Whereâs your wifeâ he was the same age as Emma so I assume heâs married.
âI donât have a wifeâ
âOkay...whereâs Gunnerâs mom?â
I see pure undulated pain flash in his eyes. The kind of pain that isnât yours, but you still feel it all the way to your soul. My heart aches for him, because I know how such pain can be consuming...
âSâsheâs not in the pictureâ he stammers in a broken voice. A voice filled with pain and a bit of anger. 2 Fuck. I feel the need to comfort him, but I am not sure it will be welcomed.
âIâm so sorry to hear thatâ I whisper feeling terrible for asking because I drenched up his pain.
I canât imagine losing a spouse. I canât imagine living the life you imagined alone knowing the love of your life isnât there with you.
Calvin looks like the kind of man who loves deeply. If you love deeply then the loss is also just as deep.
The loss becomes all consuming.
Now I know where his pain originates from. He wasnât hurt by someone. He lost someone he deeply loves.
He breathes out. Trying to once again bury his pain. âItâs okay. She hasnât been in the picture for a while and Iâm slowly learning to live with itâ
I grab his hand and squeeze. Giving him the comfort he clearly needs.
Changing the subject into something lighter, I ask him if he would help me plant my garden again since he didnât send anyone to fix what Rexâdestroyed.
After talking to him, I realize why Gunner is withdrawn. Losing a parent at such a young age isnât easy and some children never recover from it.
I didnât know them well, but right there and then I promise myself that I will be there for them. I was going to help them.
We all need happiness and joy in our lives and from the looks of it, Calvin and Gunner havenât had it in a