Chapter 0129 +15 BONUS Just as that thoughts crosses my mind another one crashes inside my head painfully.
âYouâre here to tell me you donât want the baby and are getting an abortion, right?â I ask her stiffly, every joint in my body locking.
She looks up sharply at me. Fire burning inside those brown orbs. For a moment I see the old Ava back.
The one she was becoming before I broke her.
âWhy the hell would you think that?â she snaps. âI admit, when I found out I wasnât in my right frame of mind and I thought the baby would be better off not being born, but I quickly came back to my senses.
I heave a sigh of relief. I donât know what I would have fucking done if she had told me she didnât want to have my baby.
âI came to tell you because I wanted to know what you want to do. I know that you donât really care about me so maybe you wouldnât care about the baby too. Do you want to be in his or her life?â
I think about it before answering âNoâ
It pained me to say it, but the baby was better off without me I am a monster for what I did to Ava.
Sheâs silent for a while, before she stands up and picks up her bag My head falls forward. Hiding the pain that I was feeling inside.
She goes to leave, but then she stops and sits back down âWhy?â she demands. Is it because you were just using me?â
âWhat can I offer him or her? Iâm in prison, Ava By the time I get out, he or she will be an adult. Iâll miss all the milestones, Iâll never get to be a real father to them, plus who wants a dad that would do such despicable things to their mom?â I ask, desperate to have her understand She doesnât say anything for a while. I think Iâve made her see reason, but she surprises me.
âI know, but youâre their father. Whether youâre in prison or not, it wonât change that. You can be with us through every milestone, Ethan. I can include you if you want. You never have to miss anything. This baby derserves to know his or her father and your child will love you despite your sins, you just have to be there for themâ
âYouâre willing to bring our baby here for visitations?â I ask in surprise âYesâ
I stare at her in surprise. Ava was truly phenomenal. I donât understand how the hell Rowan was able to resist falling in love with her for the nine years they were together.
âThank youâ I tell her, my voice so full of emotion.
She nods her head and begins to stand. âI need to go, but Iâll be in touch. Iâll reach out again after my next appointment. In the meantime you can have thisâ
She gives me a copy of a scan. It doesnât take long to figure out what Iâm looking at. Iâm not an emotional man, but tears fill my fucking eyes.
1 care about youâ I tell her before she can leave.
At my words, she stops and turns to face me.
âWâwhat?â
âIâll hate myself more if you leave without hearing me.â I breathe out. âI fucking love you, Ava. I donât know when it happened or how it happened, but it did. I love you with every beating of my heartâ
Her breath hitches and mist fills her eyes. âYou have to know that itâs too late nowâ she whispers.
âI know. I fucked up, but that still doesnât change the fact that I fell fast and hard for youâ
âI saw a future with you, you know that? It was so tangible and bright. My feelings for you were blooming. I was on my way to giving you my whole heart. Broken pieces and all. Instead you destroyed everythingâ
I stand, unable to take the crashing pain. I knew she was fond of me and liked my company. I didnât know that she had developed feelings for me. That she was on her way to falling in love with me.
That knowledge was killing me. Destroying me from the inside out. I lost everything and because of my foolishness, I couldnât be an ever present father to my child. Because of my stupidity, Iâm now missing out on having a great woman by my side.
âWill you ever forgive me?â I ask brokenly.
âMaybe some time later in the future, but not right nowâ
I Before I can think and back out, I pull her into my arms and kiss her with a passion thatâs suffocating.
knowing very well that this is the last time Iâll ever kiss her. That this is the last time sheâll ever allow me to kiss her.
This was our goodbye kiss. Deep down I know that Iâve lost my chance with her.
SANOU SI.