Chapter 0123 All I had to do was to take a step forward. Just one step and everything will end. There wonât be any more pain, or sadness or heartache. I would be free of the constant darkness that was drowning me I hear a car in the distance, but I donât turn. I still donât turn when a door slams.
âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing, Ava?â Rowanâs voice growls from behind me.
I donât turn even as the wind picks up. I feel its force. As if it was also urging me to make that one step.
âAva, please. Step away from the cliff. Come to meâ I feel his presence as he slowly approaches me, but I donât step back.
I was so tired. Tired of crying. Tired of hurting. Tired of the constant fucking pain. I was so fucking tired of fighting. The pain was constant. Always there. Slowly killing me. Reducing me to someone I didnât want to see.
âI donât think I can do this, Rowan. I just want it all to stop. I want to know what peace is because I havenât had it since I was born. I just donât have it in me to keep fighting anymoreâ I cry, feeling worn out.
âKilling yourself isnât the answerâ he says, just as he grabs me and pulls me back.
I had been so distracted that I didnât notice how close he had gotten.
âLet go of me! Let me go right now. Let me end this once and for allâ I scream, thrashing in his hands, Needing him to let me go..
âSnap out of it Ava!â he shouts back at me. Refusing to let go. âThink about Noah, are you going to leave him motherless? Are you going to leave him with the pain of losing his beloved mother at such a young age? What about youâre unborn child, are you so fucking selfish and cruel that you would kill an innocent baby? Your own flesh and bloodâ he shakes me, his face hardening with each word he says.
At the mention of Noahâs name. I stop fighting him.
âRowan...â
âNo! I donât care what you think right now or if youâll even hate me later, but Iâm booking you an appointment with a therapist. Youâre going to work on your issues and youâre going to be the best goddamn mother to your two children and you will love them both unconditionally despite who their father is or so help me God, Ava, I will...â he doesnât finish his sentence but I get what heâs saying.
He was breathing hard, grey storms raging in his eyes. His hands tightening around me as if he was afraid of letting me go, 15 BONUS I sink in his arms. The fight completely leaving me. He picks me up bridal style, holding me close as i feel his erratic beating heart His cologne washes over me and I calm down.
âHow did you find me?â I ask as he walks us to his car.
â1 will always find you, Avaâ he replies firmly. âAlwaysâ
âThank you, for pulling me back todayâ I tell him as I sink deeper into his warmth, feeling ashamed that! contemplated taking my life and that of my baby.
His reply is a soft kiss to my cheek then my temple.
I sigh. Rowan was right. Noah didnât deserve to lose his mom and my unborn child didnât deserve to lose his or her life at my hands. They deserve to live fully and have a mom that loved them so much.
I was going to make a couple of changes. One of them being pushing my bitterness and anger aside and facing Ethan. He needed to know that he was going to be a father. Which means I have to make a trip to prison.