Chapter 0121 [Warning: The following chapter contains content that maybe triggering to some]
No. This canât be happening to me. I canât be pregnant. Not now and definitely not with Ethanâs baby.
âWhy God?â I whisper as the tears fall down my face.
I wait for an answer but none comes. He doesnât tell me why this was happening to me. He doesnât tell me why he had to make me this unlucky.
I try to pick myself from the bathroom floor, but I just donât have the energy. Iâm completely drained.
Was it my lot in life to have unplanned pregnancies? First with Noah and now this one.
I stare sightlessly at the tiled floor, thinking back. Ethan and I had unprotected S** once. I was supposed to take a morning after pill, but I completely forgot. By the time I remembered, a few days had already passed.
I told Ethan about it. I expected him to be angry about it, but he wasnât. Instead he calmed me down. We both reasoned that it was unlikely for me to be pregnant.
I noticed some changes, like my period being late, but I thought it was due to the stress I was under. I never gave much thought to my increase in appetite since I always eat when Iâm stressed or sad.
The banging on my door startles me, but I donât get up. Now more than before, I didnât want to see anybody. When the banging continues, I put my head between my knees and cover my ears. I just wanted whoever it is to leave.
It becomes silent for a while. I breathe a sigh of relief but then start to panic when I hear the door open.
and heavy footsteps walking upstairs.
Before I can do anything, like maybe hide, in case it was an intruder. A shadow fills the door way to my bathroom.
âAva?â Rowanâs deep voices resonates through the entire room.
The moment my eyes meet with his, I start crying again. Of all people, why did it have to be him?
âWhat are you doing here?â I ask through my sobs.
He comes and kneels before me, his eyes staring at me with an emotion I canât figure out.
âEmma told me she saw you at the store. She said you looked hysterical and that you bought a bunch of pregnancy tests before leavingâ he tells me softly, his fingers wiping away my tears.
+15 BONUS Damn it Emma and her big mouth! What the hell did she think sheâll accomplish by telling Rowan that I bought pregnancy tests?
âShe shouldnât have told you. Itâs none of her business neither is it yoursâ I hiss.
He doesnât react instead he asks. âHave you taken the test?â
I just nod my head as more tears fill my eyes.
âAnd?â
I donât answer him. I just couldnât bring myself to admit what the test informed me.
When I donât answer he surveys the room. His eyes land on them laying near the sink. He stands up and goes to check them. I should be fucking angry that he was violating my privacy, but I couldnât bring myself to care. Not when I had much more important things to worry about.
He comes back and this time instead of kneeling before me. He instead sits next to me.
âCongratulation. Youâre going to be a great motherâ he tell me an odd catch in his voice.
I lay my head on his shoulder as I speak. âAm I? You didnât ever want to have another baby with me even though I wanted one desperately. I thought itâs because you thought I was a bad motherâ
I was always so insecure when it came to Rowan. I knew the real reason. He didnât want another baby because he was holding out hope that Emma will come back. I lied to myself because it was better to think he thought I wasnât a good mother than to acknowledge that he just didnât want a baby with me.
âIâve never thought youâre a bad mother, Ava. Youâre the fucking best. One just has to look at the relationship between you and Noah to know itâs trueâ he pauses. âCan I tell you something?â