Chapter 24- happiness.

"If tears can bring a stairway, and memories a lane i'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

I woke up early this morning and got ready then kissed Damian bye leaving him a note. Now I'm at my grandmas grave.

It rained last night so there's a bit of mud.

A little mud never hurt nobody i once spent a day with pigs. I became one with them so obviously I don't mind it.

It's been 2 years and on this day it hurts a little more. Maybe because memories about her last day with me rush right in my mind. I was 16 and I lost the woman who cared so deeply for me.the woman who showered me with love.

My grandma who made sure I was happy and healthy.

Flashback:

I'm walking in the hospital. Grandma Ann had to be rushed in 3 days ago and I came as well.

We're two peas in a pod me and her, can't separate us hehe.

I left this morning to get us a few things and also feed buddy. I know he misses grandma and me being home but we will be home by the end of the week.

I greet a doctor and head inside her room. "Hi grandma I'm back did you miss me!" She chuckles.

"Of course I missed you" she gives me a tight hug and I scoot the chair next to her. "Well I brought a few books and uhh my company" I excitedly tell her while showing her the books.

"Te amo rosaline" she's such a nice lady. "Te amo grandma" I tell her giggling. a tear falls down her cheek. "Grandma why are you crying, don't be sad I'm okay you're okay we're both okay!"

"I know mija I just don't want to leave you alone"

She's not going anywhere I told Jesus himself I'll fly up there and snatch her back muahaha.

"Grandma I told you, your not leaving me and Im not alone I have you and my parents!"

She scoffs "Rosaline your mother only cares what her husband wants and her husband wants the best for his oldest daughter. You deserve better"

"Well Yes but I have you" I tell her matter of factly while getting comfortable on the chair.

"But when I'm gone who's going to take care of you?" I think for a moment. "Well when your gone I'll be all grown up and i will have a family that you'll meet!"

She gives me a sad smile. "I'll always be with you, I'll be your guardian angel" grandma whispers.

"Grandma Ann stop with the crazy talk it'll be ages before you leave now, let's read my new book"

She nods and we spend the rest of the afternoon reading and talking.

I fell asleep and woke up to grandma doing a prayer rubbing my eyes i sit up next to her and join.

After 10 minute we finish. That was a short one. "Good afternoon what time is it"  I finally ask

A tear falls down her cheek and I quickly wipe it. "Your going to be okay" she whispers mainly sounding like she's trying to convince herself.

"Of course I'll be okay I have you"

A few doctors come in. What in the world went on while I was asleep I wonder.

She grabs my hand. "Visit my grave and tell me all about your troubles okay? Every year on this day."

My throat burns and swallow back the tears.

After a few seconds I can't control them. My tears fall rapidly. "Grandma wha- what's going on?"

"I'm sorry mija I couldn't be stronger" she coughs.

"But you are strong, your stronger than me and I'm a tough cookie" I tell her and she nods.

She wipes my tears away.

"I'll always be watching over you, and I'll be smiling every time something great happens in your life"

I shake my head and wipe my tears. "Please no, god no"

"Make memories, find your happiness okay? Don't depend on anyone else for that"

I shake my head." No grandma I- I am happy.. with you"

"Your are a lovable person never doubt that"

"You'll find a man who loves you and will die for you my love, remember to live life and don't care about anyone's opinions about you"

"You have a beautiful soul, keep making people smile"

I feel the tears forming in my eyes but they don't fall.

"Yo-you can't go" I struggle for words. "No, not yet I'm not ready to let you go"

I shake my head again.

"Don't do this- I- I'm not ready to let go grandma pl-please" I tell her begging her to hang on.

"Te amo mi linda niña" she breaths out.

I give her a sad smile.

Her hands grip softens and her eyes close slowly.

"Grandma no open your eyes, I'm not- you can't- no-co-come back" I shake her rapidly.

"Ma'am please we need you to leave the room"

I shake my head and slap the doctors hands off.

"No please," the machine lets out a loud annoying beep.

"don't leave"

I start hyperventilating struggling to breathe. "Don't leave me, please I- I need you grandma"

A doctor grabs me and I struggle in their arms. "No, no- no please don't leave me, grandma"

"Come back, just- just come back" I yell for her waiting for the beeping to stop but it doesn't.

Everything passes in a flash. I'm struggling in the doctors arms to free myself.

soon I'm pushed into a hallway.  I stare at the wall. No tears coming out. I don't believe it.

It's just a mistake she's in there smiling and-and we're going home tomorrow.

Is this a nightmare? It has to be.. Ill wake up to grandmas cookies and her motherly affection any time now.

I keep trying to convince myself but deep down I know the truth. God has called grandmas soul back home as she used to tell me.

I'm in shock or something. I feel nothing. I feel numb.

I then hear a voice.

"Hi sweetie I'm sorry for your loss I'm Victoria your aunt"

I look up no emotion in my eyes. "That's your uncle Joseph"

"I made a promise to your grandma and I'm going to keep it. One day you'll come live with us but for now just be strong and try to be okay living with your parents okay?"

I nod seeing as that's the only thing I can do. She left. She left me. She left buddy. She left us.

She goes in and gives me a hug and I fall. "Let it out sweetie, it's going to be okay"

I continue sobbing being held by my aunt probably for a good 30 minutes. After I calm down. I look back in the room through the small window watching as they cover her body and face. "Te amo abuela"  I whisper.

That day I went home and lived with my parents for 2 years.

Flashback over:

I place new flowers on her grave and dust it off. Over time I've come to accept it more. I hope she's happy up there. "So grandma as I was saying I met a guy and- i- well I love him."

Sitting on the grass I giggle. "He's such a nice guy I bet you would've loved him"

"Oh and I start university next week" I sigh and lay down. "I was accepted in Seattle university and I'm going to be a vet just like I told you I would!"

"Also I've been living with aunt Victoria and tio Joseph well kind of after 3 and a half months I started sleeping over at Damians house a lot but he doesn't mind!"

"Time is going by so fast I came here my second semester in January and it's already august I mean what the heck right!"

"Well another thing is mine and buddy's birthday is coming up. September 12, for my wish I want a coffee cake" as I'm about to start talking I hear a car door close.

I look up and see Damian waiting there. I grin and run to him. "Hey sweet thang" I greet wiggling my eyebrows.

He smiles. "Hi baby" I look down at the flowers in his hand. "I brought her flowers" he quickly tells me.

"Oh these are so pretty Cmon" I grab his hand and drag him to her grave stone.

"You know I'm positive y'all would've gotten along she too hated company, well except mine buddy's and gen's" I tell him with a big smile on my face.

"She knew gen" Damian questions fixing the flowers up. I nod "yes ma'am gen was like another daughter to her" i drag him down to the floor and we sit.

"Don't call me ma'am"

I throw a small pebble at him hitting the side of his face. "my bad I didn't think it would hit you" I laugh and stand up clutching my stomach.

"Oh really" he asks and I nod still laughing. He looks up at me and smirks.

Oh I'm gonna need to run.. I didn't think this through. Gotta put my crocs in sports mode.

Bending down I fix my crocs. "Baby, What the hell are you doing" I bend back up. "Well to run away my crocs must be in sports mode" I tell him with a thumbs up.

He chuckles then pretends like he's about to run at me. My eyes widen and I start turning to run and make it a few steps before falling into a mud pile.

Great this is why I shouldn't run. Me and running aren't good allies.I'll stick to the couch, now that I can get behind.

I stay there for a few minutes In shocked. I'm covered in mud. Nevermind the lesson I took with pigs I feel nasty.

I hear laughter and decide to get up. "How'd you fall I didn't even chase after you" Damian teases laughing so hard I swear he's about to pee his undies.

"This isn't funny" I grumble out. I think of a plan. Ohh let's see how funny it is when he's the one in mud.

I internally cackle.

"Help me up" i say and reach my hand up. He starts calming down then grabs my hand but before he can pull me up I yank his hand and kick his foot making him fall.

Only thing is he fell right on top of me..

I did not think this through.

"Well this isn't fair" he continues laughing and I shove him off me. He falls in but it only gets one side of him. His face is priceless he's shooketh.

I burst out laughing. "Ha we're two pigs in a pin" I laugh and an unnatractive snort comes out of me but I'm too busy dying of laughter to care.

After a while Damian joins in and we're both a laughing mess on the floor. "I'm gonna get you back for this"

"Shush I- I can't breathe it's in your hair you look like you never shower" I'm now in a fit of giggles on the floor. Damian climbs right on top of me supporting himself with his elbows.

"Give me a kiss and I'll forgive you" he tells me his lips close to mine. I shake my head "you started it" he rolls his perfect eyes one which has a bit of mud.

He leans down and captures my lips. I pull away and Damian gets up this time actually helping me up.

"Now look we're all dirty" I tell him with my eyebrows furrowed.

These were my favorite sweats. I mean I can wash them but still what if it stains?

he smiles. "Guess we can both hop in the shower ya know save water, earth and shit"

I wink at him "can't resist my sexy bod huh" he leans down and smooches my lips while squeezing my bootie. "I just can't"

I gasp. "Dude this is inappropriate behavior.

Rolling his eyes we go back to my grandmas grave hand in hand.

"So grandma this is him, trust me he's a sweetheart I know you would've approved" I tell her and somewhere in my heart I know she's listening.

"Hello ma'am I'm sorry I couldn't meet you but, I promise I will never intentionally hurt Rosaline" I squeeze his hand for reassurance. "And I promise I will take care of her and love her as long as I could for as long as she'll let me" he says now looking in my eyes.

"Stop it" I say pushing his face away. He looks confuzled. "What did I do?"

My eyes narrow. "Your being too sweet dude"

The creep scoffs. "Don't call me dude" I sigh. "Well what should I call you?" He thinks for a moment and quietly mumbles 'I don't know'

"But you're my homie" he pinches my waist. "I was joking but until you tell me what I shall call you I have decided my b word is sufficient"

"My love" he quickly mumbles out. "What?" His cheeks turn red ever so slightly and I refrain from cooing. He's a cutie patootie.

"I like that name" he rushes out and I laugh. "Well why didn't you say so silly goose" patting his back I sit down.

"See grandma he makes me really happy, I hope your smiles is just as big as mine" I say feeling some sort of peace in my heart.

Damian sits down and we spend the afternoon talking, laughing and telling stories about grandma.

It soon hits 7:00 and we decide it's time to go so we can spend a bit of time at my families before we leave.

"Goodbye grandma it was nice talking to you" I say then Damian helps me up. "Goodbye grandma Ann thank you for taking care of her" Damian says whispering the last part.

He's my big ol sweetheart man.

I'm a few steps away from grandmas grave when I see a beautiful red butterfly. I gasp. "What's wrong" I point to the butterfly.

"What about it" he ask and I give him a big smile.

"Grandma once told me if she ever left and didn't get to meet the love of my life that when I bring the certain someone if she approves she'll send me a sign" I tell him and laugh.

"She always said butterfly's were amazing insects and she loved watching them fly, especially the red ones so she said that would be it... my sign" I breathe out letting a soft smile take over my face.

"It might be a coincidence but I'm taking it Damian I'm positive she likes of you" I tell him opening my mouth in a o shape and winking a few times.

A red butterfly feels like she's just there. Like she's around.

He chuckles and gives my hand a kiss. "I'm glad she does" we get in the car and head to the hotel.

I feel extra happy today.

Once we're inside I rush to the shower and am joined a few seconds later by a certain horny bastard.

We didn't make it to another family party and we spent a while doing uhhh-fun- activities...