My feet pounded against the pavement, sweat dripping down my face and onto my shirt. I needed the release. I couldnât fucking believe she walked in on me like that. My body heated, and I slowed down, taking a huge swig of water before wiping my forehead with the edge of my shirt.
Lorelei had seen me jacking off. I wasnât doing anything wrong; I knew that, but god, I couldnât imagine a worse thing to happen. Sheâd stood there with her wide eyes and lips forming the perfect little âohâ as my dick was in my fist.
She had no idea her face came to mind as I stroked myself. Why would she? My stomach rolled with embarrassment and something like regret. Iâd thought getting off would ease the tension of knowing sheâd sleep across the hall from me, but it only amped me up.
Sheâd tripped over the bags, and my heart leapt in my throat at seeing her fall. Without thinking, Iâd wrapped a sheet around myself and tossed her out of my room. It had been the only way.
I adjusted my headphones and searched for a heavy rock playlist to finish my run when a familiar head of hair caught my attention for a second time that day. Those gorgeous curls pulled me in every time. My new roommate walked on the other side of the road with two large bags on her arms.
Her red face was set in determination, and the muscles in her arms and legs flexed, like the bags weighed more than her. My jaw tensed. Where was Dean? Why wasnât he with her? Why were her bags bigger than her?
I watched her, hoping someone trailed behind her with help. Her parents, maybe? A minute went by, her curls escaping her ponytail more and more. She was delightful with those wild curls. I enjoyed how they bounced and went every direction, like they had a stubborn mind of their own. My fingers twitched with the urge to touch one, to feel the texture of her hair.
Seeing them now though had me frowning. It was warm outside, really humid, and seriously, why was Dean making her do this alone?
Oh, film. I rubbed my temples and made up my mind. Iâd help her. It was the right thing to do. I paused the run on my watch, checked to ensure no cars were on the road, and crossed the street to her. The subtle scent of fall teased the air, the familiar smell reminding me of bonfires and corn mazes and haunted houses. Despite my strict football schedule, I loved Halloween. When I finally made enough money to help my grandma out, Iâd go wild for the holiday. Iâd buy the entire Halloween store for myself to decorate the nursing home, my home, all of it.
That went on my list of dreams and wishes, along with buying a nice car, getting a shoe subscription, and expanding my wardrobe. Not until I met my goals though.
Nearing her side of the street, I prepared myself for her large brown eyes. They gutted me every time she looked my way. Irritation and curiosity always lingered in her stare, but would it be different now that sheâd seen me with my hand around my cock? It had me on edge, the flush of her cheeks and the pulse racing at the base of her neck. I liked that she saw me.
Ten feet, seven, fiveâ¦my heart fluttered against my ribs at being near her, my skin tightening at the thought of the last time Iâd seen her, just an hour ago.
âFucking Dean,â she mumbled. Her arms flexed as she adjusted a red strap on her shoulder.
âLet me help,â I said, my voice scratchy and low. Iâd forgotten to carry a water with me on this run, and my throat desperately needed moisture.
She froze, slowly tilted her head to the side, and when her gaze landed on me, her entire face reddened.
Was she thinking about earlier? I self-consciously ran a hand through my hair, regretting coming over here already. Those large, doe-eyes with long lashes blinked at me. Then again. She swallowed, and her gaze dropped to my waist and shit. Was she staring at my dick?
Clearing my throat, I tried again. âI can carry those for you. You seem to be struggling.â
She narrowed her beautiful eyes and gripped the strap tighter. âYou calling me weak? I realize Iâm not a meathead beef stick like you footballers, but I can hold my own. I am fine.â She turned her back to me and kept on moving.
She wore a tank top that showed off her back muscles, and they were divine. Sweat glistened on her tanned skin, and waitâdid she think Iâd insulted her? I hadnât, had I? Self-doubt crept in, and I jogged to catch up to her. âI know youâre strong, but these bags are big. Let me take one.â
Loreleiâs cheek twitched before she set the large black one down. âThank you.â
Relief flooded my veins. I scooped up the bag, and soon enough, we walked side by side on the sidewalk. The house was still a good ten minutes away, and I hadnât thought this part out. The walking time. Did I chat with her? Ignore her? Ask about⦠anything that didnât revolve around this morning?
It made no sense that my mind turned into this indecisive mess around her. I flirted with women of all ages, charmed most of them when I wanted to, but Lorelei Romano? I became speechless. It was like someone had tackled me head-on.
One minute turned into two, then three, and we were almost halfway to the house. I could survive this, then finish my run and study the rest of the afternoon. The guys would want to party tonight since we won against Indiana, and I could enjoy myself for a few hours. Hell, I needed to get laid to work through this tension.
âYou played well last night.â
âHm?â I was still thinking about sex while looking at Loreleiâs face, and my stomach swooped. That would never happen. Dean would kill me, sheâd distract me from football, and my plans would deteriorate. My mantra would help me survive this. I forgot to soften my voice when I said, âYou watch football?â
âMm, donât know why you have that tone but yes. I do. My brother is on the team, and I actually support him? Sorry if thatâs weird for you.â She rolled her eyes, scoffing before staring at the sidewalk. âLook, Lucaââ
I sucked in a breath, loving how my name sounded in her sultry, deep voice. She made the U sound longer, like she held it an extra beat, and I wanted to hear her repeat it. âYes?â
âIâm sorry. For earlier. I shouldâve knocked or something.â
âOh.â My face heated. She wanted to talk about this morning.
âI wonât say anything. Itâs no biggie. Wait, Iâm not saying youâre not big, I meantââ She closed her eyes and shook her head. âI didnât see anything. Well, a little but not the whole thing.â
âOh my god.â My lungs burned from forgetting to breathe. âLoââ
âItâs normal to masturbate. Iâm not judging. I would never judge. Hell, everyone does it. Or if they donât, theyâre really unhappy. I bet those uptight people who complain the sky is blue never do. You can tell.â She spoke fast, blurring the words together.
My brain stuck on everyone does it. Meaning⦠her. God, it was hot. I needed water. To go swimming. Yeah. Iâd go to the rec center and swim to cool down. She kept rambling off facts about fucking masturbating, and I thought about dropping her bag and running away. This was too much.
âWe can have a code or something, like, we put a sock on the door if one of us needs time to ourselves.â
âWhat?â I gasped. A code? âI donât⦠no. I donât ever need to know that.â I gulped, picturing her doing that to herself making me sweat buckets. âInstead, we just leave each other the hell alone. Always.â
I couldnât risk looking at her. Dean assured me her temporary living with us wouldnât cause too much distraction, but she wasnât even moved in, and she was messing with my mind. I knew it wasnât her fault, rationally. I wasnât a dick.
But man, I had to get it together. She was Deanâs goddamn sister.
The rest of the walk was in silence, thankfully, and I practically threw her bag on the front porch before putting my headphones back in my ears. âWait until your brother is back, then have him help you.â
âRight. Uh, thanks.â
Her voice seemed small, defeated, and I snuck a quick glance at her. A blush covered her cheeks and neck, and her dark eyebrows were furrowed together, like she was upset. Had Iâ¦upset her? The same magnetic feeling I always had toward her pulled me in, drawing me to ask a follow-up question. My tone mightâve been harsh earlier, but talking about that stuff distracted me. It wasnât like I was aâ
âI know you hate me, but I promise you wonât even remember Iâm here. Iâll make sure you never see or hear me.â
She hoisted the bags and disappeared behind the front door before I could get a word out. She thought I hated her. That was simply not true.
My mouth parted as I tried to think of an explanation that would appease her, but my phone buzzed before I could. Grandma.
âHello?â I answered, my focus shifting instantly. My jaw tightened. âAre you okay, Grandma?â
âIâm seventy-four years old, Luca. Chill out.â
My shoulders sagged in relief, and I smiled. âSo, youâre fine?â
âDefine the word fine. Am I alive? Yes. Am I single? Also, yes. I want to go on the old lady bus trip, but you and Val wonât let me.â
âBecause itâs reckless,â I said, my relief shifting to annoyance. âWeâve had this chat before, and you know itâs silly.â
âSilly for me to have fun? Play poker? How am I the more fun one this relationship, Luca Monroe?â
âBecause youâre immature,â I teased.
âUgh.â She sighed, and the sound made me laugh. My grandma was a piece of work but the strongest, best person I knew. Sheâd taken me in and raised me as if I were her own son, and I owed her the world. Sheâd driven me to every practice and game and never let me feel unloved for a second.
âIs the new place going okay though?â I hated that I hadnât been able to visit since the season started. I couldnât miss practice during the week, and the three-hour drive was just a hair too long to do for one day. She was on a fixed income and wasnât able to save a penny with the price of the home.
This was why this year mattered so much. I could graduate early and head to the NFL. Iâd get the signing bonus and make sure she was set for the rest of our lives. It was the only way to pay her back for everything.
âEh, itâs, fine.â Her voice hitched, her telltale sign she fibbed.
âWhat happened?â
âNothing happened, Luca Loo. Iâm healthy and well and in an intense group of women who play rummy twice a week. I schooled Agatha last week for twenty dollars and a joint. Not as much fun as a trip to a casino, but itâll do.â
âGrandma.â I itched the back of my head. She always did this, lied and distracted me with something she knew would make me ask more questions. âCut the bullshit.â
âOkay killer, watch the language. Iâm not some punk you talk shit to on the field.â
My lips curled up at her spunk. âHypocrite.â
âYouâre too perceptive. I hate it.â
âYou raised me.â
âYeah, yeah, donât remind me.â She sighed, and I pictured her running her hand over her face. The silence lasted a few more seconds before she cleared her throat.
âThey treat me like Iâm a child, like Iâm incapable of making a decision for myself. Iâm still me and rational most of the time. I lived through too much to be made to feel small, and it grates on me.â
My pulse raced in my ears, and my stomach dropped in an aggressive, angry way. My hands tightened into fists, and I wanted to punch the pillar to my right. Making my grandma feel small? âWho? Whatâs their name?â
âItâs not a specific person, hon. Itâs their mentality. Like old people are a burden to them.â
âYouâre not a burden. Just,â I said, cursing. âThis is my final year. Then Iâll get that bonus and get you out of there. Wherever you want. The beach, Vegas, New York. Iâm not kidding, Grandma, Iâm moving your stubborn ass out of there.â
She sniffed, and my heart ached. Tears were my weakness. My breath deepened, and anxiety billowed under my skin, matching me itch. My brain went into fix it at all costs mode. âI can send more money somehowââ
âHush. You hush. I sniffed because I have allergies.â
âNo, you donât.â
âFor both our sakes, letâs say thatâs it. I hate that you have to take care of me, Luca.â
âWhy? Youâre the reason Iâm here, playing football. Youâre the reason Iâm alive.â
The door opened and closed, and I whipped around to find Lorelei standing there, wide-eyed and lips parted. My grandma spoke again, but all I could think about was how much had she heard? Would she judge me? Ask questions? Laugh?
I opened my mouth to say anything, but she took off, ducking her head and jumping off the porch and onto the sidewalk. Her departure shouldâve pleased me, but instead, an uncomfortable lump formed in my gut.
âYou hear what I said, Luca?â
Shit. Perfect example why staying away from Lorelei was a mustâI could never say or do the right thing. Guilt ate at me from her thinking I hated her, but I didnât have time to rectify it. Football would always come first.