You were mad as all hell.
The baby bump was forming now, though not quite noticeable when you put a jacket on. Soon enough you'd be larger and there wouldn't be any hiding it, and then an even bigger issue would arise. Did you know the father? Of course you fucking did, there was only one person around this goddamn camp you slept with, and he already had a kid wandering around. You loved Jack, watched over him sometimes to give his mother a break, but that'd been occurring less and less for certain reasons that had to do with the growing life inside you.
You'd been avoiding John the last month, mostly because he and Abigail fought less when you two interacted less openly; you knew she could likely tell John had feelings for you, and you don't know which part of it she cared about more. As far as you knew they weren't a couple anymore, they had loudly announced that to the entire camp after a bitter argument, and that had been the beginning of your relationship with him. You weren't obvious, particularly out of respect for Abigail and also for Jack, but you think it was pretty obvious to just about everyone you two had a thing. You still didn't want to label it, and John wasn't exactly rushing to commit either.
It probably stung to know John might love you more than her, but she was most likely more worried about Jack, and how John already had trouble being a father to him; if he had another woman, that would only seem to give him more reason to abandon the son he already had. Their arguments continued despite their waning romantic relationship, and while you'd tried to tell John to man up and take responsibility, you don't know how much you'd gotten through to him.
And now you were pregnant.
John might not always be the sharpest, but he wasn't stupid enough to not recognize that you were avoiding him on the regular. You'd do anything to get out of a conversation with him, you'd hightail it in the opposite direction when you saw him coming towards you, and you hadn't even let him touch you before you'd started avoiding him. He wondered if he did something wrong, said something stupid (it was likely) that hurt your feelings, but no matter how much he wracked through his brain, he couldn't think of why you'd be treating him like this.
"Hey!"
You'd been lost in your thoughts, your worries, when John manages to catch up with you before you can run for it. You're just a bit outside camp, far enough away from the others that they won't overhear should you decide to impulsively let loose the secret you'd been keeping for a few months. You didn't have any intentions to do so, but John looked like he was coming over to start a fight, and you're sure revealing he was gonna have a second child being brought into the world would wipe that look right off his face.
"Why've you been avoidin' me?"
"I ain't."
"What am I, stupid?" He shakes his head, clearly not wanting a response on that one. "If there's a problem, we should talk."
It's a profound statement coming from him, but it's likely he'd learned this lesson because of his failed relationship with Abigail. He was never able to communicate his feelings to her, not just the love and care he had, but the fear of being a father when he damn well knew he wasn't prepared for the responsibility. It's another reason you'd grown so close to him in such a short amount of time; he felt like you not just listened to him, but you tried to understand him instead of attempting to talk over him or force him into a certain way of thinking.
"This problem can't be solved by just talkin'." He tilted his head to the side, waiting for you elaborate. You're not sure if you should still even though you should probably tell him before anyone else, though you were starting to think the other women were catching on. Probably best to tell him before the gossip hit him and he really had a melt down over it.
"Gimme your hands."
He watches you carefully but presents his hands to you, and you grab them, hesitating before you pull them under your jacket. It takes him a second to register as you press his hands against your rounded stomach, and you silently dared him to make some kind of joke about your weight; it's hard to make out his expression as he seems to be deep in thought, but you know at that point he's at least gotten what you were getting at.
"You're apparently a very fertile man John Marston." You would laugh at your own joke if you weren't feeling so depressed, releasing his hands from your grip. You almost miss the warmth of having someone touching your extended belly so you wrap a protective arm around it yourself. "So tell me how I was supposed to be startin' this conversation with you."
"I... it's mine, right?"
"Ask me that again and let's see if you get away from this conversation with all your teeth."
"Alright, alright," John runs his hands through his hair, looking mildly stressed. "I didn't mean nothin' like that."
"I didn't wanna tell you until I knew what to do about it, okay? Thing is, there's no way to get out of this without... I don't know. Fightin'."
"Don't worry 'bout Abigail, I'll handle that."
"It's not just handlin' her that I need from you, John. I need you to start takin' care of that little boy you already have! Barely interested in takin' care of him but you're somehow gonna be better with two?"
"Hey now-!"
"Don't hey now me! Look at me and tell me that ain't the truth! I don't know what to do about any of this and I can't even turn to you to ask what to do, because you got no idea what you're doin' either."
"I don't know what to do either but I love you-"
"Goddamn it, John." You roll your eyes, turning away with an irritated look on your face but you feel him reach out for you, stopping you from walking away.
"Don't goddamn it me, I do love you. More than anything."
"Then prove it to me." You whisper, removing his hand from your shoulder and turning back to face him. "Show me you can make more than minimal effort, and then we can both... try to talk to Abigail. Together. But if you're not gonna bother, then leave me alone."
He watches you walk off towards camp, his heart aching as his head tells him it's better to not go after you for the time being, especially not when he had so much to think about.