Chapter 6: Soft Like Thunder: Chapter 5

STUPIDMOTHERFUCKER: I’m done, Helen. I’m gonna need the money today or I visit your trailer. Don’t make me do it.

Swallowing down bile, I turned my phone off and walked into class. Few things scared me—not because I was especially brave, but because I’d experienced the worst of the worst and survived it—but this…this freaked me out.

I shut it all down when I slid into my seat in the third row of my Shakespeare class. The seat beside me was still empty when Theo walked into the room. Dread pitted my gut when he headed for the steps instead of sitting in the front row like he had previously. I couldn’t deal with him after receiving that text. I needed to get my head straight, not get distracted by rich boys with sparkling blue eyes who smelled like cool, fresh air.

A huge form sank down in the chair next to me, and I smirked at Theo. He scowled and shook his head. The big, silent guy was back, having come from the other end of the aisle, forcing Theo back to where he belonged in the front row.

I turned to the guy beside me. “Hey.”

He barely cocked his head in my direction. “Hey.”

“I’m Helen. I thought, if you’re going to be sitting beside me this semester, I should know your name instead of calling you the big, silent guy in my head.”

He huffed what sounded like a laugh and turned in my direction. “Lachlan. Mostly go by Lock, though.” He held his hand out to me. When I slipped mine into his grip, it basically disappeared. This was one big boulder of a man. Wowza.

“Nice to meet you, Lock.”

He nodded to Theo. “That guy bothering you?”

“Sometimes.” I wished I felt more bothered by Theo. He was a stone-cold asshole, but holy hell, spending over an hour in his lap at the library, his lovely voice in my ear, had weakened me. I hated being weak, so naturally, when I walked out of the library, I was pissed off at his existence while wishing I could tuck myself back in his lap again.

was the stupid motherfucker, it turned out.

A rumble sounded from his massive chest. “Let me know if you need me to step in.”

“Really?”

He turned to me again. “Really.”

I lifted a shoulder. “That’s a nice offer. I’ll keep you posted.”

That was the end of our interaction, but it gave me the warm fuzzies. Lock reminded me of my best guy friends from high school, Bash and Gabe. They were off at different colleges, living their best lives with their girls, but if push came to shove, they’d have my back.

Professor Davis started class, keeping my attention the whole way through. After the first day, I’d been concerned he was going to be the thorn in my side all semester, but so far, he’d been proving me wrong. Then again, Savage U was known for only hiring the best of the best, so it made sense he was a passionate and knowledgeable instructor, despite his classism and latent misogyny.

At the end of class, Lock waited for me, and we walked out together. Theo was by the door, his eyes homed in on Lock at my side. My mouth curved into a satisfied grin. Maybe having an enormous man with massive hands and a looming presence as a friend would keep the wolves at bay.

Except, Theo fell into step on my other side as soon as we were outside, sandwiching me between the two of them—and not in a good way.

“You want a ride?” Lock asked.

“She’s good,” Theo replied for me.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve got my board, but thanks.”

Lock peered down at me from his place in the clouds. “You’re good?”

I craned my neck back to look at him. “I’m just swell, Lachlan.”

He nodded decisively, gave Theo a hard look, then veered off in a different direction, leaving just the two of us—which wasn’t what I wanted.

“New boyfriend?” His tone was light, teasing, but I heard the edge.

“Yep. We consummated our relationship during Davis’s analysis of the use of hunting as a metaphor throughout the play. That was a first for me, but having my brain stimulated at the same time as my pus—”

Theo jerked me into his chest, knocking the wind out of me. “Don’t say it, Helen. Shut up right now.”

“Pussy,” I finished with a smile. “Now do you regret asking me a stupid question?”

His mouth tightened. “I regret ever setting eyes on you.”

That knocked the wind out of me in a different way. “I have a solution, Theodore: stop looking at me. And maybe take your hands off me while you’re at it.”

Theo dropped his hand from my arm, and I didn’t hesitate to take off on my skateboard, rolling away from him as fast as my legs would take me. There was no relief in my escape, though. Classes were over, and I had to face my situation head-on. No more denial.

Even if I wanted to deny it, my situation was waiting for me outside my dorm. He saw me before I saw him. Otherwise, I might have kept going.

Amir stepped in my path. “Helen.”

I kicked up my board into my hand. “Amir.”

Amir Vasquez would be hot if he wasn’t scary, but scary he was. Tall, lean, and powerful, he could snap me in half if he wanted. The thing was, he wouldn’t. He had people who did that for him. Amir didn’t peddle violence, he thrived off fear.

And I’d stupidly gotten tangled up with him.

He stepped toward me until I had no choice but to back up. He kept coming, walking me right into the brick side of the dorm, where we were partially hidden by the thick trunk of an old tree. Once he had me where he wanted me, he backed up a step.

“You know why I’m here.” His face was impassive. I had no idea if he was angry, annoyed, or something else entirely. He never showed his hand.

I swallowed down the ball of barbed wire in my throat. “I’m working tonight. I’ll have your money after my shift.”

His head cocked, dark eyes sweeping over me. Amir had been my hookup for weed since high school. A year older, he used to prowl the halls of Savage River High like an untouchable specter. Kids knew who he was, but they stayed away. Except me, because I was dumb and desperate and I’d had a really hopeless crush on him. I sold for him at parties for extra funds, and I’d never had a problem.

Until now.

I got cocky and flew too close to the sun.

“Why don’t you have it now?” He stepped into my space, peering down his nose at me. “You’re a week late, and now your loan payment is coming due to Reno too.”

I swallowed again. This time, it was even more difficult. That loan payment was an albatross around my neck. My mother, the impetuous genius she was, went to Amir’s older brother, Reno, and borrowed ten with absolutely zero plan of how to pay it back. Reno wasn’t the kind of man you borrowed money from without a plan to pay him back. He peddle violence, and he most certainly would take a pound of flesh for every day—hell, every hour—payment went past due. And because I was the oldest daughter and a sucker, I’d taken the loan on myself. My mother had made sure Reno knew this, extricating herself from Reno’s bloody hook.

That was a concern for another day. The one in front of me required all my attention.

“I promise, Amir. If you want me to come to your place after my shift tonight, I will. It’ll be two or two thirty, but if you want me to—”

He gripped my jaw, squishing my cheeks and lips into a grotesque shape. “I asked you why you don’t have my money, Helen. I want an answer, then we’ll talk about your payment.”

“I had this kid selling for me at his frat and—”

Amir’s palm slammed into the brick next to my head. “What the fuck did you just say?” he growled. “A frat kid was distributing product?”

If he hadn’t sent me the threat of visiting my trailer, I would have kneed him in the dick for getting in my face. But Amir held the power in this situation—and we both knew it.

“I needed more money. The frat boy was my way in to deep pockets. Our arrangement had been working for months, but then he fucked me over, so I’m—”

He slapped the brick again, cutting me off. “This isn’t a pyramid scheme, Helen. We’re not selling fucking leggings or magic oil. You are my employee. You don’t subcontract. That’s not how this shit works, and this is exactly why. You got fucked, and in turn, I got fucked. This kid, I didn’t vet him. I never gave permission for my product or my money to pass through his hands. Now, we’re here, a week late on your payment to me, coming up due to Reno. I’m gonna guess you don’t have his money either.”

“No, I’ve got most of it. I’ll have it when it’s due.”

His nose twitched. “You didn’t borrow from your Reno fund to pay me?”

“I would have, but I knew I’d be able to earn the money tonight at work.”

He leaned so close to me, his nose almost brushed mine. “That’s the problem, Helen. You obviously don’t respect me. If you did, you would have borrowed from your Reno fund right away. Leaving me hanging for a week sends me a message. A message I don’t like. A message I’m not gonna stand for. You hear me?”

Even though I wanted to knee him in the dick, I didn’t want him to visit the trailer. Nodding, I lowered my eyes like I was ashamed. In reality, I was pissed at myself and Deacon fucking Forrester.

“I hear you, Amir. It won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t. You’re done. No more handouts from me.”

My eyes flicked up to his. He was still studying me in his Amir way. Silent. Curious. Tucking details away for later use. Ticking off vulnerabilities. I had no doubt Amir Vasquez’s brain was like a war manual. He had a profile to take down each of his enemies and possible compatriots if he needed to.

He knew exactly where to press to get me to fold. My little sister, Luciana. The trailer could go to hell, but not when she was living in it. Unfortunately, she currently was.

“Amir—”

“No, Helen.” He straightened, running his hand along his hardened jaw. “What are you doing anyway? Taking money from Reno, working for me—where do you think it’s gonna lead? You’re here, getting your degree. You need to get out of this life.”

I lifted my chin. “What are you, the pious drug dealer?”

His entire body stilled, except his eyes. They bounded over me, keeping me in his snare.

“Make no mistake. If you go down, it’ll barely be a blip in my timeline. I do not care what happens to you. That isn’t who I am. But when I see someone being stupid, I call it out. You, little girl, are being really, stupid.”

My chin shot up even more, and my hackles rose. “I owe you money, so I’m not going to say everything I want to say.”

He folded his arms, his mouth curving into something that would have resembled a smile on anyone else. On Amir, it only looked like a threat. “Say it.”

I sucked in a breath. “All right. You say I’m being stupid, but here you are, hanging out on campus, pushing dope to college kids. You grew up with criminals, and you’re wallowing in the life, even though everyone knows you’re way too smart to be a low-level drug dealer. So, if I’m being stupid, so are you.”

He clucked his tongue. “Yeah, it turns out, I don’t give a damn what you think. Save your concern for one of your friends.” He pointed a finger gun at me and squeezed an eye shut like he was aiming. “Bring me the cash in the morning. Any later than ten, I’ll take a trip out to The Palisades with a gas can.” He pulled the finger trigger. “You feel me, Hells Belles?”

The barbed wire in my throat wrapped around my lungs. The Palisades was the ironic name for the broke-down trailer park I grew up in. I didn’t want to believe Amir would burn it down, but I was smart enough not to test him.

“I feel you, Amir.”

I slipped away from the wall, hurrying back to the sidewalk in front of my dorm. Amir caught me by the arm and swung me back around, his face slashed with quiet fury.

“That’s not how this works. You don’t walk away from me until I’m done with you,” he gritted out.

I yanked at my arm, but his hand was clamped down tight. Panic stirred in my gut. It was irrational. It was broad daylight and plenty of people were milling around. But I hated being grabbed and held. It brought back bad memories I kept carefully stored away.

Someone came to a stop beside us. “Excuse me.”

Amir and I both turned our attention to the frowning blonde. Elena Sanderson had her hands on her cocked hips, her attention shifting from Amir’s grip on my arm to my eyes.

“Go away, Elena.” I didn’t like the girl, but no way was I getting her mixed up with Amir.

She rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to say there are no psycho boyfriends allowed in the suite. Clearly, the person currently manhandling you has severe mental health issues that drive him to commit violence against a girl half his size. While you may be into being battered and bruised by the male variety, it’s my personal inclination to call the authorities when I witness such things.” She drew her phone from her pocket and tapped out 9-1-1. “Since you don’t seem willing to help yourself, I’ll be happy to take matters into my own hands. I’ll also add, you have terrible taste in men, Helen, if this guy is your idea of a good time. He hot, but no doubt he’d look hotter in handcuffs.”

Amir’s grip on me had loosened during Elena’s whacked-out speech. I tugged my arm free and moved a foot away from him. This brought me beside Elena. I wasn’t sure she was a better choice, but I’d take my chances—especially since I was pretty sure she was helping me in her weird, evil Elena Sanderson way.

Amir tipped his chin at me, then turned and sauntered in the other direction without another word. Inside, I was sighing with relief, but I kept myself upright, covered in armor, unaffected.

Elena gave me a long once-over. “I’d ask if you’re okay, but if you say no, I might feel inclined to comfort you, and no one wants that.”

I snorted. “Thanks for not asking then.”

She hesitated. “I’m assuming that man won’t be around again.”

I couldn’t promise that. He was Amir, and he did what he wanted. “Probably not.”

“Well,” she held up her phone, “I’ll keep the police on speed dial. It seems like the wisest course with a roommate with your type of…connections.”

Needing an out, I tossed my skateboard on the ground. “You do that, Elena.” I pushed off, leaving her and my dorm behind.

If only I could skate away from the wildfire that was my life. Every time I got a handle on it, another spark spread it wider. One day, hopefully soon, I’d be able to breathe without constantly putting out fires. Today just wasn’t that day.