Chapter 23: Soft Like Thunder: Chapter 22

“LOCK.”

The garage bay was almost empty. Lock was the only one working, his head under the hood of a truck. Hearing his name, he looked around, found me approaching, and straightened, wiping his hands on a rag.

“Theo.” He was wary already.

“Hey.”

He continued wiping his hands, giving me nothing. Made sense. If there were lines in the sand, Lock was firmly on Helen’s side. Really fucking deservedly so.

“I’m hoping you can help me out.”

Lock’s expression turned thunderous. “Are you really?”

“Yeah.” I shoved my fingers through my hair. “I messed up. I keep messing up. It’s high time I turned things around. I’m asking for your help with that.”

Rag clutched in one hand, his fists went to his hips. “Tell me what you’re looking for. I’ll consider it.”

“I know engines. I worked in a garage, my pops’ shop, from the time I was a kid.”

Again, nothing. Lock was a solid wall. He was going to make me work for every inch I needed, which was fair. I hadn’t worked in a long, long time.

“I’m looking for a job, Lock. I have experience in a garage, but I’m willing to work anywhere there’s a need for a body. My pops taught me a lot, but I’m a fast learner and willing to get dirty if I need to.”

He threw down the rag, his jaw tight. “What makes you think I’d want to help you, even if I could? Besides your nonexistent work ethic, you fucked my friend over.”

I decided to lay it all on the line. That was all I could do. He was right. I’d been showing my ass all semester, and I had a hell of a lot to prove now.

“I know I screwed up in a massive way with Helen. I’m working to make it right. To do that, I need to be able to stand apart from my father. The start of that is not being reliant on his money.”

“Good start,” Lock rumbled.

I tipped my chin in acknowledgment and went on. “For that, I need a job. I was hoping for one on campus. It’d be an insurance policy, in case Andrew doesn’t agree with my choices and revokes my tuition. If I work here, I’ll get a deep discount so I’ll be able to take care of my own tuition.”

“You did your research.”

I shrugged. “It didn’t take much. But I’m not bullshitting around. I need this.”

“I don’t make the hiring decisions.”

“I didn’t think you did. But I figured, you being Lock, you could put in a word for me and ease the way into me working here.”

“You figured that. Hmph.” His head cocked. “Are you serious?”

“Never been more serious.”

“And I’m not going to have to hold your dick the whole time?”

My mouth quirked. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

His expression didn’t budge whatsoever. “I need an answer.”

My hand went to the back of my neck, rubbing it hard. “No, man. I know a lot, and what I don’t know, I’ll learn fast. I’m committed. I need this.”

“You said that.”

“Yeah…well, it bears repeating.”

Lock took a couple steps to the right, bracing his hands on the hood of a campus truck. A few beats passed, then he glanced over his shoulder at me.

“I do this, you screw up, we’ll have problems, Theo.”

I shook my head. “That won’t happen.”

“We’ll see. We’re a man down right now. I’ll talk to my boss about you. If you can impress him, I guess you’ve got a job.”

I wasn’t going to celebrate. This was one step. A step I should’ve taken years ago. I let myself go soft because it had been easier that way. I’d given up control to my father in exchange for security. But the security he offered was lined in lead, and it had been poisoning me for years.

“Thanks, man.”

Lock hadn’t stopped glaring the entire time I’d been in the garage. He closed the space between us, giving my chest a light shove. Light from Lock was like being hit with an anvil. I cracked my spine against the side-view mirror of the truck behind me.

“Don’t thank me until you prove yourself. And not to me. Helen’s going to be the judge of that. If you put that look on her face again, if you make her afraid or feel unworthy, it won’t matter what she says or who your father is, you and I will have words—and they won’t be gentle.” His nostrils flared as he inhaled. “You feel me?”

“If I make her feel afraid or unworthy, I’ll welcome what you bring.”

Folding his arms over his wide chest, he rocked back on his heels. “Yeah, you feel me.”

One step, that was all it was. But it was something.

Helen and Lock walked into the library study room together. She was laughing, leaning into him. He had a wide grin on his face, obviously liking my girl there, hanging on his arm.

Ugliness sat on the tip of my tongue like poison. I did not like them together. Worse, I had no say in what happened between them. Helen had barely looked at me since our talk on her steps Monday night. And when she did look, her gaze teetered between wary and pissed off. There was no forgiveness there. Then again, I hadn’t done jack to prove myself.

They both stopped in their tracks, seeing me already at the table, set up, ready to work. I swallowed the poison down, letting it writhe in my guts.

Helen raised a brow but did not disengage from Lock. “Wow, look who’s on time. Is this a new leaf?”

I grinned at her, though I didn’t feel it. “I’m trying out the school thing. We’ll see how it goes.”

She dropped Lock’s arm and pulled out the chair diagonal from mine, dropping her backpack with a thump. “Interesting. Is this a part of your five-point plan apology tour?”

Leaning on my elbow, I rubbed my chin. “Actually, it’s getting my shit together. It was high time.”

Her mouth twisted, but her eyes held mine. “Past time, Theo.”

Lock was silent during this exchange, taking his seat and turning on his laptop. Helen followed suit, giving me the cold shoulder. I spent this time tamping down the jealousy burning a hole in my stomach. It would do me no good to stake my claim, not when the last time I came to Helen, I had Abby’s lip gloss on my mouth. Helen was mine, but I had to earn the right to call her that out loud, and I wasn’t even close to that place yet.

Lock cracked his knuckles and peered at me from behind his screen. “Are you ready to present your section?”

I nodded, glancing at my notes. “As I’ll ever be.”

An hour later, we walked out of the library. For once, my group members weren’t pissed off at me, and that felt really fucking good. Not just because one of them was Helen, but because I’d worked hard this week to catch up and get where I needed to be. This was all on me, no assistance, no hiding behind someone else—my sole accomplishment.

I caught Helen’s elbow as she turned to skate off to her dorm. “Helen.”

She tugged her arm back. “Theo.”

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Her chin lowered. “That’s all you get.”

“That’s all I have.” I stepped into her, cupping the side of her neck, then I walked her backward so we were a few feet from Lock. When she didn’t jerk away from me, I took it as a victory. “I want to give you a ride home tonight.”

“I don’t need it.”

“I won’t read it as forgiveness. I never should’ve stopped picking you up. That was an asshole move.”

“It’s whatever.” Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. “Carina’s been driving me home.”

“Coworker?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t mind, so I’m covered. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, Theo.”

My brow pinched. “I’m going to worry. If there’s a time Carina can’t drive you, call me. I’ll be there. I don’t want you on the bus again.”

Her mouth opened, but before she could say whatever she was going to, Lock said my name. I exhaled, taking one last look at Helen. All the soft I’d coaxed out of her was back behind her spiky walls. Still, even with her defenses up and her lips turned down, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.

“I gotta go.” I pulled her into me and pressed a kiss to her forehead. It might’ve been stolen, but I needed it, so I took. “Call me, Tiger.”

Lock was frowning at me with deep furrows around his mouth when I got to him. I grinned back.

“Let’s go,” he gritted out.

“Ready when you are,” I replied.

We’d gone two steps when Helen called out to us, “Hey, lovebirds, where are you going together?”

I turned around, walking backward beside Lock, whose steps hadn’t even stuttered. “Gotta get to work, baby. No time to chat.”

“What!” She threw her arms out.

“You call me, I’ll tell you all about it.” Then I tossed her a wave and spun forward.

Lock glanced over at me, tense. “You’re getting cocky. The finish line is too far off for you to be this cocky.”

That sobered me somewhat. “Point taken.”

After a minute of silence, he added, “She was kinda nice to you, though.”

I barked a laugh. “Yeah, she kinda was.”

“Don’t fuck up the little ground you’ve gained back, Whitlock.”

“I’m not going to.”

Whether I was patient enough to wait for Helen to come back to me was another story. But if my first day on the job the previous day had been any indication, Lock was going to keep me so busy with backbreaking labor for the next four hours, I wouldn’t have the chance to think about Helen. And that was good, since this was about . Yeah, I wanted the girl, but this was more than that. This was me taking the reins of my life back. This was me standing on my own feet and being able to look at myself in the mirror without disgust. This was me living clear and clean. Then, and only then, would this be me going after my girl.