Chapter 33: 31

Chapter Thirty-One

"Not someone, you."

✧ P R E E T ✧

Upon not finding Deven in the banquet hall, I went outside towards the parking lot with my heart anxiously pounding against my chest, ever so loudly. Whatever he did was stupid, and if something more than stupid was scary.

The look in his eyes kept flashing in the back of my mind, repeatedly, multiple times, through and through.

It was unexpected. Something I don't see him doing even in my wildest dreams. It might be just a reaction, but it wasn't a healthy one for all I knew. And yet, after all this, I'm running like a madman searching for him as if I was the one who did something like that.

I don't understand what is wrong with him anymore. I just can't.

I let out an exhausted sigh when my eyes fell on him. He hadn't noticed me yet. Taking long steps towards him while reminding myself to be calm this time, unlike him, who has lost all of it.

As soon as his eyes fell on me, he showed me his palm indicating me to stop there. Ignoring him, I increased my speed. "Not now, Preet. Not now." I heard him say in a loud firm voice.

"What is wrong with you?" I questioned despite his attempt to avoid the conversation, once again.

"I don't want to talk to anyone." A sarcastic humph left my lips automatically.

He was about to get into the car when I held his arm to stop him, "You can't keep doing this, Deven. Not every single time. Do you even know what happened there before you came?"

He passed me a void look with barely any emotions, "I don't and neither do I want to."

Brat.

"You can't be serious." I shook my head in disbelief. "You are behaving like a teenager who can't manage to control his emotions, do you acknowledge that? Do you apparently think what you did was cool? It was crazy, Deven. The way you acted was crazy-"

He took a step towards me and cut me off angrily glaring right into my soul with heated intensity, "I am going crazy, Preet. I am going crazy for you."

He added, "My actions, my emotions none of it are in my control anymore. I have lost my senses, I've lost my mind and today, I lost my calm as well."

I stood there speechless, as my throat felt heavy all of a sudden, with something tugging deep inside.

"I.." my voice faltered as I tried to arrange the right words. What was I supposed to tell him? Wasn't it too early to feel that way? To feel something so strong, something I'm unsure if I reciprocated.

Deven let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair before dragging it on his face as if trying to wipe away the mess spilling over, "You drive me insane. Seamlessly, hopelessly insane."

A shiver ran down my spine upon hearing his words. The intense look of his eyes, the furious movement of his chest and his clenched jaw and his tightened fist, all of this was enough to give me goosebumps.

"Preet," he let out a heavy sigh and touched my cheek lightly for a second till I brushed it away. I felt his warm, uneven breath near my cheek.

I knew something was stopping him again. A feeling, a lie or a fear, I don't know what it was but it was preventing him. I bore into his eyes sternly without melting into it.

"I...."

"Fuck, dammit." He moved away and banged a hand on the hood of his car, lowering his head. He whispered, "I can't."

"You're not leaving this conversation incomplete, Deven." He got his hand out of my hold by yanking mine away and settled inside the car. Waiting a minute or so, probably for me to get in as well, he started the car when I didn't. And at the very next moment, the car was out of my sight, and I just stood there dumbfounded.

He did not just leave me stranded.

I started walking to the exit with my head buried in my phone, my vision getting blurry as I tried to search for a cab. I wiped a tear which fell from my right eye from the back of my hand. All I did was ask him to complete a freaking conversation.

By now, I was on the sidewalk of the main road, waiting for some driver to accept the ride with the cold breeze hitting my body. Multiple passing thoughts were running inside my head.

What is he? I don't understand him anymore. It's like a maze; I'm trying so hard to get out of it, but I keep losing myself in it furthermore.

You drive me insane.

His words rang inside my mind for the umpteenth time. All I could think was how it was too early for something like this to happen. We had just started to know each other. There was so much more to learn, to experience, so much to feel.

And him leaving me just like that, what did that even mean? What the hell did I even do to get that reaction out of him? Talk to someone? If that was the only reason, then I'm pretty sure I don't want something like this.

Did I just make a mistake again?

My head was bursting with pain at this point. It wasn't a big deal, I don't know how it had turned into something like this. It was supposed to be a simple night. But guess what? Nothing has seemed simple in my life for the past few days.

A good ten minutes passed, but there was no sign of a taxi, or cab.

I'm never talking to him again.

My trance broke because of a loud horn. My eyes fell on Deven's car which was now coming towards me.  So now he remembers how he left me.

Ignoring it, I increased my pace and switched to the other app wondering if someone accepted the ride there. Unfortunately, they didn't.

I tried my best not to look at Deven's car, which was adjacent to me, running at the same speed as me. Soon, the window lowered, and I heard him say, "Preet, Get in the car. "

"No, thanks." I gave him a curt reply.

He kept following me while I kept ignoring his orders of wanting to get me inside the car. I had every right to be furious and act this way. Especially when he not only left the conversation this time but also me and wandered off to somewhere.

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't care." I snapped. The car halted while I strode, unsure of the directions. Did he give up so easily? He doesn't look like the type to do that.

And with that, I heard him yelling my name from behind. Within a gist, a strong tug at my elbow pulled me behind and he turned me towards himself. "The farther you go, the more we have to walk back to the car. Rather, let's go now."

"Leave my hand," I said, completely ignoring his statement and struggling to get my hand out of his grip. He took a step towards me, his empty hand trying to touch my cheek, but I moved behind, not letting him do that again.

I was mad, very mad, at him.

Hurt flashed his eyes at my response, unlike the first time when he wasn't even in the right state to notice it. "I'm so sorry, Reet." He repeated the same thing.

I lowered my eyes as tears were starting to form when I failed to move away from him, or even get my hand out of his hold. I knew that wasn't the reason for my tears. He raised my head by placing a finger under my chin to match our eyes.

His eyes reflected pure guilt upon noticing mine which ran rivers by now. I just wanted to go back home and now I'm in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, crying in front of him.

I tried to push him away when he engulfed me in a hug instead, wrapping his strong hands around me, "I'm very sorry for hurting you, Reet." I could feel his light cologne which was about to wear off because of the chaos of the night.

"Go away like you always do." He tightened his arms around me, burying my head in his chest and seeing me wriggle under his hold, using all my power to create distance between us.

"No,"

"You acted like a complete jerk," I said in between my sobs giving up on the idea of wanting to get out of his hold, but I didn't hug him back as well.

"I am one. I'm sorry for that." Stupid. Idiot. Brainless. Fool. Moron.

"You left me while I did nothing at all." I felt him caressing the back of my head in light strokes and resting his chin on the top.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, his voice even softer this time laced with rue.

"You were...scary," my voice broke as I stopped keeping notes of what I was blurting out. All of it just came naturally.

He once again said those same words, "I'm sorry."

"So scary," I added.

He laid a kiss on the top of my head. "Very Sorry,"

"And I don't care. Just like you."

"Sorry," I gulped the lump forming in my throat and took some deep breaths.

"Rejected. Leave me." Upon noticing how all my nerves were starting to calm once again after a few minutes of utter silence, Deven moved his hand from my back to my cheeks, freeing me in a way.

Planting a kiss on my forehead, he looked at my face which would have turned red by now, I bet. He wiped my tears gently and I noticed how his moist eyes glistened under the light of the street lamp.

"I'm so sorry, my Reet," I was beyond annoyed by the amount of times he had used this word.

"Shut up." I groaned.

"I don't know a better word for it so I'll just have to chant sorry till you forgive me."

I kept my hand on his stomach to move away and his touch lingered for a second on my cheek before he removed it. "I won't forgive you for this, never."

His gaze lowered and a pout unknown to him appeared on his lips as he looked guilty. "Let's get into the car? I'll explain everything."

"No, I don't want to go with you."

"Please," he said softly, tucking a few strands of my hair behind my ear. I jerked off his hands.

"I hated how you left me there alone mid-conversation." Tears dwelled up in my eyes again, because that did in fact hurt me so much.

"I hate myself for it too." He whispered and once again pulled me in a hug when his eyes fell on my fresh tears. "I wasn't in my right mind, Preet. But I came back instantly when it hit me."

I snarled, "I don't care. Got it?"

"Got it." He repeated and then said in a helpless tone. "Man, I hate seeing you cry because of me."

"I don't care."

"Gosh, you're very angry." Saying his he kissed my head multiple times.

"Of course, you will understand it when I leave you." I countered.

"Don't say that," his voice broke and he sounded as if my angry words wound him.

Serves him right for doing that.

"I can and I will. You will come back to all your senses when I'm not around." His embrace, once warm tightened pulling me even closer as if I'm going right away. I probably should.

"You're not leaving. Never."  He caressed his hand on my back smoothly.

"I give no guarantee." He went silent all of a sudden. I realised I was being a little too harsh and not careful with whatever shit that was coming out of my mouth.

I'm not leaving him.

I raised my head to look at him, only to bump it into his jaw. Why the hell am I so short? No, why the hell is he so tall?

Taking the cue, he distanced his head away to look at me, our bodies still touching. "You hurt me." He said.

"Look who's speaking." His face fell, draining all the colours as his bottom lip stuck out, lightly.

"Sorry," I wished to scratch his face with my nails. "Will you actually leave me?"

"I shall see,"

"My stupid heart won't be able to take it well, please don't," I did not give him a reply. "I wouldn't have anyone if you leave,"

This conversation was just stupid at a point. I knew I wasn't leaving. He knew I wasn't leaving as well. I don't know the purpose of it.

"You will have everyone. Life doesn't revolve around me." I hinted.

"Mine does."

"It shouldn't. It's not healthy." I remarked .

He planted a kiss on my lips. "I don't care. I'm not letting you leave."

"I will, one day."

"I will die that—" A slapped landed on his cheek which was supposed to be light, but I think I accidentally put a little extra strength in it, looking at his shocked face and widened eyes.

I apologised as guilt flashed me and my eyes softened, caressing his cheek where I slapped him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to actually slap you."

"But don't you dare say things like that." My eyes narrowed in slits again.

"And you don't dare say things like leaving me."

"You better have a solid explanation for what you did or else will see," I referred to the main topic and he nodded his head eagerly.

"Let's go to the car?" He asked once again.

"Just remember, I'm still mad at you." I agreed, only because my legs had started to hurt. I was running around the whole time in my heels. And I knew, no matter how adamant I tried to be, he wasn't going to give up and take me with him.

Settling inside the car, I told him in a stern voice. "Drop me at Neava's."

He immediately made a puppy face, one at the level where I almost considered going back with him, keeping everything aside.

"Don't give me that look," I grumbled.

"Why do you want to go to Neava's place? Is it because of me?" He asked with hope glimmering in his eyes. Hope for me to decline what he had asked.

But it was the partial truth.

He understood my silence and started the car, gloomily. After a while, he asked in a very low voice almost inaudible. "Can I come along?"

"No," I deadpanned.

"Ouch. That hurt."

"It should," I replied, grumpily.

Suddenly, after merely five minutes, the car halted in a place, and I looked around; it wasn't Neava's house. It wasn't even a place I knew of to certainly name it. It was huge and empty.

"I told you–" he didn't let me finish, quickly understanding what I was going to say.

"I will drop you off at her house later,"

"But–" I was about to object.

"Just stay with me for a while, please?" He requested, and I kept staring at him blankly. "I know you're still angry, but just for a while."

"Please, I need you, Reet." He begged with his eyes which were successful in persuading me.

I got out of the car, unable to believe myself.

I quietly followed him whereever he wanted to take me. After a minute or so, I noticed serene blue water peacefully moving in its own rhythm at a distance.

It was a beach.

Reaching so close to the water that we could hear its waves, we sat at the place. He insisted on me sitting on his handkerchief, considering my saree would get dirty, but I couldn't care less.

We sat in silence for a while until I snapped out of nowhere, "Now will you tell me which ghost took over you?"

"I don't kno–"

"I'll kill you, Deven, with my bare hands." I threatened as if I had the potential to do so. He immediately looked up at me, a little scared, I must add.

"I...I needed you and you were not there-"

"How the hell will I know that you need me if you won't tell me?!" I exclaimed with a smouldering anger.

"I know, I know, it was my fault," he bit his lip trying to form a sentence that made sense. "Something took over me. I'm still unable to name it, but it was very strong, and I lost my senses to just react for a while; I lost my temper as well upon seeing you with it.."

"It?" I asked, and he clicked his tongue.

"Him. I'll tell you from the start, I don't know if this even makes sense or justifies something, not that I want to justify anything, it was not right, I know. I still don't regret punching that bastard."

I glared at him. "That bastard was apologising to me for everything he did. He said sorry to you as well. And he's leaving."

An amusing look spread all over their face, which was instantly replaced when he gritted his teeth. "It could be one of his tricks."

"Well, It wasn't. It seemed genuine."

"You're too nice to everyone; you would not be able to see it." I rolled my eyes at his reply. I've been told that a lot. Does he consider me dumb just like everyone else?

I countered. "Shut up, I'm not a fool."

"Never said you are. Just nice, very nice."

"Whatever helps you to sleep at night. I can feel people's intentions when they speak to me."

"Oh, you can't." He muttered under his breath.

"But he's still leaving, that's the point. Do you regret it now?"

"Regret what?" He questioned.

"Punching him."

"No," he's helpless.

"If you think you looked like a stud doing that, then you didn't; nobody likes Kabir Singh," He nodded; I wondered what for.

"I know it wasn't cool. I just don't regret it." I looked at him with a huge scowl dancing on my face.

"Now that I'm honest with you, you're looking at me like you will eat me raw. Do you want me to lie? Oh, I regret it so much, Preet, I won't be able to sleep peacefully at night—"

Pointing my index finger at him, I declared. "Shut up, and don't have a conversation with me as if I'm not mad at you."

"Sorry, my love," Now he will say sorry a million times.

I passed him one strict look from my eyes and he immediately continued the unfinished topic. "After I was done with..the call, I came back, and you weren't there; I kind of wanted to be with you because...."

I still wonder whose call it was.

He paused and gulped nervously. "I just needed someone. Not someone, you."

My eyes softened at this automatically and all the firmness was about to leave my body until I pulled it back. I can't give in every time.

"I searched for you around, asked a few people but you weren't there. I was already in a bad state, and not seeing your face around made it worse for me. I started to panic and even tried calling you but you won't pick up. And then I saw you with Aniketh at that weird ass place–"

I interrupted when he halted for a second, "Hugging him, so it fueled your anger."

He frowned.

"Seeing you with him was enough because I had told you not to say a word to him beforehand. Hugging didn't make a difference. I might be a possessive person but I'm not an insecure asshole."

I nodded, surprisingly.

"Majorly, it was the built-up anger, and I lost it when you couldn't follow the only thing I asked you." Glancing at him offensively, I folded my hands below my chest.

"So, it's my fault?" I asked him.

"No, all mine. I'm ready to take accountability. Who am I to stop you from talking to someone?" He sounded rather displeased while saying that sentence.

"Shut up, you can stop me. You have the right, but you also need to understand the situation. Look at it from a bigger picture." He hummed in a slow voice.

"I'm still mad at you," I stated.

"I know. What can I do to earn your forgiveness?" He asked.

"Change your bad habits, these abandoning ones especially. One comes to confront you and you fly like Rano in a minute." He let in a sheepish smile at my reference.

"You shouldn't be proud about this." And his smile dropped.

"I'm not," he mumbled.

"It wasn't reasonable, Deven. The way you looked at me like no force in the world would be able to stop you, it wasn't something to not worry about. I don't appreciate all this, I hope you know it. I do not find it amusing, something that would make me like you more, no, it would rather create distance between us. I don't like violence, I don't like the way you did what you did. To be very honest, I didn't even like you at the moment."

His eyes dwelled into mine, holding so much hurt as if I just pierced something right in his heart with my sword of words.

It was harsh but I had to say it.

"I'm sorry,"

"I've heard enough sorries from you today, Deven. You tell me what's on your mind, not some word which doesn't fix shit." His eyes flung back to the water right in front of us, which was reflecting its lover on himself, the moonlight.

It's pretty amusing yet scary how in love, we just start to lose ourselves for the person we love. Is it even love? Where you slowly lose yourself?

"My parents died on this date, twenty-two years back." My eyes widened and I straightened my posture at this sudden revelation, turning my head to him. His legs bent and hands resting on his knees as he looked up to the vast dark sky, his blue eyes, which merely twinned with the shades around, wandered to look for something, I don't know if a star or a sense of belonging.

✧

So, your thoughts?

Koi sasta dark romance nahi bolega. 😠 (Mai ro dungi)

I had written a very long ass chapter but then it gets boring so I broke it into two. (Edit:- and then while editing, you added another 1000 words so it ended up being long once again, you're stupid, Ami.)

Now whenever this chapter reaches 310+ votes, I'll post it because I wanted to make sure everyone read this one. If I update back to back, there are chances of people missing updates. So let's try like this.

Genuinely asking, bore toh nahi kar rahi hu na? Mera morale thoda down hojata hai yaar tum log achese batate nahi ho toh :(