SHIN
There was no use in making a fuss. He won't reveal the details of what happened after I got drugged. His charitable response so far was to smirk at me while ignoring my sulking dignity. By the attitude he had been such a tease lately, there wasn't an argument left in me. I know I did or said something that can backfire on me if I don't get to treat it before it erupts out of nowhere.
But Lee was stubborn. More than I was. So it wasn't a fair play. For two days I had been taken well care of, I felt like a princess by how my tooth extraction turned out. I received food on my bed, piggyback rides during the beach strolls, a customized padded suit, and a backpack embossed with my name on it when we went on a trekking tour. The mountain excursion which had Lee and me in envy as we watched Edmund fleetingly scamper over the rocky surface as if he was gliding through a skating rink. Transcending swiftly through one corner to other, sometimes pausing to look down at us literally with disgust and pity.
But we looked down at Fisher who with an aging man probably in his sixties, struggled a couple of meters behind us. Lee and I broadcasted the judgment from Edmund further to him. It made us perceive our stamina better, even if it was just illusion. But it was worth it- the view had us in a trance as four of us stood at the peak while the mountains covered the sun that sank beneath. The last trace of light was the golden spectrum scattered by the sky that slowly diminished with its source gone. This island gifted me with memories that I couldn't have made if it wasn't with Lee beside me. And oddly, Edmund and Fischer too had joined into the cause. They were my friends- even if I liked it or not, its what Edmund had announced after a toast at the bar last night.
"And it has nothing to do with you agreeing to the terms of contract tonight," he said with a grin as Lee picked my glass of liquor in exchange for a chocolate milk carton with a straw tucked in. For how long has been carrying them for me?
Since I can't have alcohol with the antibiotics I was taking for my wound to heal- he proclaimed himself to be in charge of my diet, sleep, and how to not kiss me as my jaw was still sensitive. Since Lee gets carried off in those predatorily smooches â it takes him just a consenting touch from me to jump from gentle to demanding in a second. So he often joked about how I should just relax during the calm before the storm since doesn't get to kiss me now.
I like to think that he jokes.
He doesn't.
So when he hugged me from behind after the sun was bleak, I merely wanted to bask in the feels of it. But Edmund turned with my eyes growing wide as we both simultaneously blurted-
"Casper deserves to be killed here"
Lee's chin slipped from my shoulder as Edmund and I couldn't help out a grin. We hi-fived at the great analogy we did- of course, it had been like this for the past two days. Visiting an island was my wish because of the imagery of such a nation that I had often used in the book- it was all based on research and I had never been to one in person. So I always craved to experience what I wrote.
For Edmund- he was here even before he knew of me to do the same. To bring a written narrative on screen. To give it life. It baffles me how fate works. What bothers me more was how confident these people were.
He was out here in search of locations when I hadn't sold the script yet. This kind of dedication requires - power?
Edmund during his policies looks like he would even get a gun to one's head to get the job done. But instead of shooting- he would tickle them till they gave in with it.
But by how they keep mentioning their friend Alexander- generally addressed as Alex- I bet he was someone who might actually consider pulling the trigger.
That dude was strange.
As for Lee-
It's his knowing smiles and laid-back persona that scares me more than his possible anger. He acts ordinary with extraordinary thoughts lurking within him. You see what he thinks, but you aren't prepared for how he might react to it.
He forgives you too much until you are indebted to his kindness. But he knows those debts- and he looks like he is just waiting for the right time to vice them back. It's not modest of how he plays, but I like how he spoils me. So during our last day, I persuaded him to join the associative gaming event hosted by the resort community for any housing members who would like to participate.
Since it was for couples and Edmund was so into sports- It took me a suggestive note.
"If you don't want to come, I will go with Edmund"
It was a genius move because Lee was here next to me with a tennis racket clutched in hand and a neon green ball on the other. Our first competitors were native couples from arizona in their mid-thirties. They were sweet and chill anout what was to come their way- which was nothing much since we Lee had the spirit of a geriatric mammoth.
"I don't feel good about this" he grumbled. Bouncing the ball to the floor with the racket. In his white-sleeved shirt and rolled-up sleeve, he could distract any woman he wanted across the hall. But he was distracting me the most- a player who must be focusing on her game rather than him. So I look ahead-
"I have a very good omen upon your new jeans. You'll do good"
He was quiet for a moment, contemplating why an educated girl like me would say something like that. I cross-stretch my ponytail, fastening it up. Since everyone was busy completing the various assignments to reach the finals- I wasn't palpitating with nervousness- I can tackle the two opponents. I know I can-
"That's similar to how my maths tutor used to motivate me before the exam" there was a nostalgic hint in his utterance, I look back at him to see a playful smile "I failed them anyways"
I adjusted my shirt and the band of my red skirt that were tighter by the waist but flared into a pleated frill- I looked hard into him with an alarm.
"I don't lose" I whisper- he blinks with a heave.
"Fine- I will lose for us both"
Turns out- we weren't bad players - in the first round we won. Ten minutes into it- we were screaming, plotting, and strategically winning the game. The second was a tough call but we won that too- then came Edmund and Fischer-
We don't question them since Lee had a conclusive idea of how they got in-
Fischer looked traumatized as Edmund winked at him snickering.
"I swear he used to be the golden boy that every parent wished their daughter would end up with" Lee puckered his lips frowning at the slight PDA Edmund was throwing at Fischer so the ambassadors won't suspect the authenticity of their unity "Then Hollywood happened"
The laugh that bubbled into my stomach died when I realized there wasn't a way we could beat Edmund. He was athletic- he knew what he was doing- he was a man winning the duel- we lost the round three. But not entirely.
Since I was the queen of memory games, I took the reins of it. It was a nuisance when we saw Madison and Moreno among the other surfers- Madison smiled at me but it didn't quite reach her eyes when we passed each other. In contrast to it I felt Morenos gaze on us on multiple exchanges that made my concentration go haywire with what I was doing.
Lee was persistent that we quit everything and just leave.
But I didn't want to. I have been running away from enough things to add more timidity from me into the pit of things I am shameful of. I only had to deny the offer for him to understand what I was fighting through-
Edmund and Fischer made it to the finals along with us and the other two. Madison and Moreno were one among them. The last task was a VR battle- and one look at Lee told me that he was scorching into a competitive stance.
"I don't want to lose to them," I tell him as I wear my gears on- he helps the glasses into my eyes and straps the belt that crowns my head. Though I can't see- I hear the determination surging in him.
"Neither do I" then I feel his hand cup my face as I stood blind with my hands lax on either side clasping on to the controllers. He was kissing me, his hold light and feathery- it wasn't short or long. There weren't many movements in them- but were careful and sweet.
When I hear his voice again, I realize that he had just kissed me in a room where there weren't just us two. But many many more- but I don't sense the eyes on me- not when I was blind as a bat to what was happening around me.
"Are you okay?" he asks as in nod-
"Yes" I even stretch my lips and jam my teeth to make the point " Absolutely. My jaw Is fine too"
I listen to his chuckle as I realized that he craftily had done it in a manner where I wouldn't feel the burden of watchers on me yet experience a diverse display of affection which showed he wasn't going to hide his feelings from coming out. To me or in front of all.
"Let's get them all" he hypes me up when I couldn't respond with the energy he suddenly seems to broil with. But I play as if I had my rent due the next week- even when Moreno and we were standardizing in the winning streaks- we managed to breakthrough winning the last round. In sound cheers that erupted from around, I rip off the VR box from my face and turn throwing my arms around a laughing Lee. His chest vibrates with the mirth as he lifts me in a circle, his wrap on me firms as I smile when he puts me on my feet. A series of awes and exclamations whirls from the crowd- but it didn't matter- we were eloped with a bond that made anything else matter less. At the moment he was the most important person to me and nothing else mattered anymore.
They held a bash after the dinner, we were awarded a cup and a framed certificate. Lee commented that he felt like a student again- I jotted it in my mind to memorize how I felt the same, after a very very long time. As I was lazily stirring the dessert in my plate- the event coordinator poked his head between. Startled I let go of my fork as it fell on the tabletop with a tick.
He again was the same Mexican who ailed me with horse riding lessons. So his goofy behavior was normality among us two, so when he grinned and congratulated me on the win with a dimple â I smiled with a nod.
Soon there was a hand by his chest sliding him aside like a curtain.
"Thank you for wishing us on our win" clipped Lee with hard eyes. Nothing uncommon- again.
The coordinator brushed off Lee with an awkward nod- but proceeded to extend a card towards me.
"This ID belongs to Maddison Fischer- she seems to have dropped it during the games" I take it from him as he continued "Can you please return this back to her- the number is 209, its just on the right of the-
"We can't" my neck snaps to Lee as he sips on his wine, for once I was glad that his cold stare wasn't diverted at me. He slowly looks at me as if challenging me to say or do otherwise. Or more like a warning. I gulp in, stuck with my conscience as I look at the man- only to see him with his palms open-
I don't return the card-
"I will give it to her"
My toes curl as I refused to look at Lee. The man sighs in relief.
"Thank you so much. I wouldn't have asked if your condo wasn't close by theirs. Our staffs are packed for the night- you are such a savior my dear"
I smile then, but as soon as he was gone, so with him did my courage.
"You don't have to come-
"I never said I will"
My thumb grazes the blade of the card with her picture in a box. She was Maddison- but she looked younger- happier in it.
"It's not like you still have lingering feelings for her" I look up regretting instantly of what I had said. His face was blank as a virgin paper. "I am sorry"
He stares at me for a good time, he got up looking sideways, his jaws clamped. But when he finally gazed back at me they weren't so sober- his eyes. They shone with emotions that were complicated but so candid.
"I like everything about you shin, but I don't" he licks his lips as I anticipate "-I don't like how you never fight for me"
The guilt clings to me, it morbidly shafts its roots into with every step I took as we walked towards the corridor. I scout for reasons that I could unearth as an excuse- but it was too late. Tonight he was accounting for the balance we had so far- he was aware that how he has to contaminate a memory to serve things right. But I was a double-edged sword that could lance through him no matter what part of me he tried to hold me back with- if only I could go back and-
"I will wait here. Come soon" he leans his side by the intersection, even now forcing a small smile to put me at respite. I don't say anything but recruit to the passive cause I was here for. I stood in front of the brown door practicing internally if I should just fling it if Moreno opened the door. But to my dismay- there was a faint scream followed by a sharp churn of glass breaking. My voice clogs in me as the faint shouts of abuse resounds. They were faint because of how noise-proof the structure was. At first, I decide to knock at the door- but ended up slamming my fist at it. When there wasn't an answer I hit on the bell frantically enough for Lee to come running-
From right I saw the janitor jog in, searching for the brash knocks I was rendering on the door. But before he could open his mouth I speak up-
"I suspect abuse- do you have the key?" he gawks confused but some slow grasp onto the situation surfaces- but he wasn't quick until Lee pressed through the bell multiple times. His angry fist bangs through.
"MADISON- OPEN THE DOOR" he screams, the janitor fumbles through the phone and reads me the emergency code for the room. Lee was on it before I could do anything- he tears the door open as I stiffened at the scene unfolding. Lee was quick to push Moreno away along with the bottle of liquor he had raised above Madison, who battered on the floor sat there curled up. A large bruise ran down her side, her lower lip was coated with blood, the dress worn were torn from edges and stained- her sobs and cry for help were much clear now that the door was open.
"Call the cops" I find myself instructing the janitor as I watched Lee wrap a blanket around Maddison as she embraced him, burying her face into his neck as he said something to her while making comforting circles on her back. But I don't wait- one look at Moreno and I freaking lose it. He stood there drunk- his eyes mad and red at Lee and Madison.
He tried to make a move unknown to Lee who was busy helping Madison. Storming in I push him back â he stumbled into the monitor unit as his eyes divert to mine. I see him- I see the man in Moreno- that filthy monster resurfacing tonight in a different place and body. But the same soul. But tonight I wasn't afraid.
I don't think I was this angry at someone ever.
"Don't even fucking look at them" I whisper gritting my teeth, my lips tremble with rage as I raise a finger at him.
"I will," he says, his salivating hiss was as inhumane as him. "I will ruin him the way he ruined me"
For some reason, all I could hear was madisons cries and Lee shouting at me to get out of the room. But no- I had to hold a conversation with a drunk filth to be able to breathe tonight.
"Ruined you? you deserve to rot- you are deranged and pretentions. And you'll die alone counting your sins" it was a piece of my mind, it brought peace to me once it was out for him to dwell once he was in his sense.
By now Lee implored me to just go- I look back to see him holding onto Madison, trying to keep her awake as she was losing consciousness. He was torn between the two situations- but I want to let him know that it was fine. He can aid Madison. I don't need his help now- not when I was standing up for one-
Moreno smirks as the resort's medics barge it. I don't look back to inspect the commotion. Not when I saw the knowing glint in his dangerous eyes.
"You are saving a man who married you as a subject for media" his hysterics crawls over my skin as I frown "I know everything about him Han Shin Young. He and people he is close to-you are defending a man who doesn't even know you well"
My throat was parched with my strength giving up. For a second it got dizzy as I blink in to focus-
"What do you mean?" I couldn't recognize my voice- it wasn't vulnerable- but confused and upset with how cruel it was.
He laughs maniacally as the room fell into silence once they took Madison out. I felt the rigid hold of Lee on my wrist tugging me back with a warning that I can't seem to register. I can't hear him as I twist my arm to free myself-
"What do you mean?" I shout at Moreno as he looks at me with a tilt of his head.
"If that man truly loved you, he won't be celebrating a vacation here if he knew that you-
I don't let him complete as I punch him. Despite the hit, he recovers fast to launch at me. But I got pulled in an instant with Lee shielding me as he grabs the collar from Moreno shirt-
"Don't. Even" Lee growls as the officers swarm in, he shoves Moreno towards them as they immediately bind him in cuffs. Cemented I watch them arrest him away-
Flinching to the attempt of Lee who tried to pacify me by taking a step- I raise my hand gesturing him to stop.
I was asking him to stop when everything in me begged to be embraced and comforted.
But I don't want it from him.
I don't want to get used to him.
But it wasn't a choice with him when he didn't gave a dime for what I was asking from him as I got draped by his arms. I sink into him with the voices silencing in me.
And with that I fall into a deeper stage of debt.
So....?