SHIN
Life doesn't revolve around and over a person. But the world you make does. It rotates and fluctuates back and forth to the leaps and moods of hence mind. So there must be an explanation for why I go stark blank at the question-
How did you come up with this fantasy world?
From who or where is the protagonist's character is inspired from?
Or the most anticipated ones that asked me at the book signing event since my three-day trial en route had been-
Please give us a hint about the last investment in the trilogy?
Hint?
Do I know what I am doing with the supernatural world that I created? Do I want to ruin it in the midst of a war?
Do I want to keep my lovable characters alive?
Is there even a way to save them when I had established no euphoric hole for them to get out of their mishaps?
I go through the same crisis as my readers- because so far, I have no clue what the hell I am doing with it. Similar to how the two previous books in sequence went through. It worked out at the finale- because as a cliffhanger, I would kill most of them for the sake of an honorary death.
But since I received a specific criticism from someone that I shouldn't be bothered about. My capabilities to roast my rulings had been electrified. I can't seem to write a single line without his face scolding or swearing at my decisions in conscience.
"It's a surprise" I smile at the seventeen-year-old girl, she squirmed giggling as I collected her books and flicked my wrist by the pages as I signed.
"You are amazing. Do you even know that?" She chips as I shook my head mentally. Begging her through my eyes to understand.
This might not be the case after the last in series is released. So don't pressurize me more than I already am.
"I am so lucky that you chose las vegas For your tour in States. I couldn't believe my eyes when it was announced" she heaves breathing, for a moment I thought she might end up kissing me if I moved slightly towards her.
"I am still shocked I agreed to this" I mutter under my breath so only I could hear it.
"You said something Elixir?" She blinks as I frantically gestured no. Why was I doing this? I haven't done such an act even in my own hometown. But why here?
What changed?
People?
Atmosphere?
My common sense?
Probably the last since I know that the time I get away from my home and with the companionship of Lee as an excuse is the only duration I have to treat my fears. With a small list of tasks to accomplish i-
I- I want to take a trip to the aquarium and get myself a pet fish. Which reminds me that I had been gaping, impersonating the vertebrate I was thinking of.
"Thank you for the love. Please look forward to the climax" compelling it out I attend to her as she romped to my side and requested a selfie.
When she vacated, the boy behind in line came forward. He had a wide smile and high cheekbones, making his face look older than he must be. His curly hair was perfectly trimmed in symmetry. Like bob ross- which suddenly had me in a grip.
What should I be doing first?
Buy a fish or lure some acrylics and learn to paint?
Such a tough verdict to make. So I ask him one good question-
"Is this for your girlfriend?"
It plummets, his smile. Shit. Why do I keep assuming that most of my readers to be girls or some violent teenagers. He looked old- but not more than twenty.
"I don't have a girlfriend" he doesn't bother to hide his dismay. But he shrugs clicking his tongue- "But I dream of finding someone like Inara oneday"
Inara?
She is the one who plays the lead. He dreams? What kind of dream are they? Are they rated r? Is it-
No- focus shin. Focus.
When I sign his copy, He divulged into a much subjective issue. He seems to keep an eye on the events I go through.
"Congratulation on your marriage Elixir. I have been waiting for you to post the lucky man's image. The last post from you was of a half baked shrimp you failed to cook"
Don't take me wrong.
When I say the one who has read my book doesn't contribute to my difficulty and apprehension was because they felt like family since they had already decided to love and support what I do. In return, I try to be as courageous and deserving despite my choices.
But when I say family, I wasn't foreseeing to meet someone who seems to have my posts memorized.
"Soon. I'll do it soon"
Our face is all over Korea though- he could type it right away and find Lee out. But-
"It's fine. I saw. Since you won't reveal him, I looked it up. He is good, but you are more beautiful" he says with a sincere glimmer in his orbs. So I wrap up his posters and offer him a cupcake.
"Best of luck kid. It was pleasant meeting you" his smile drops again as he walks off murmuring how he was merely two years younger than me and certainly that must not constitute a kid.
So I was right. He was twenty.
The next was a forty-three-year mom of four who was the most normal one so far. Then there was a punk boyfriend who wanted me to sign a book to surprise her girlfriend. But the one he gave me was an erotica despite the large banner beside me that had the name and the cover mentioning credits. He somehow was here with the wrong one.
He stunned me through his shaved head and brow piercings, so I signed it without a question.
"You don't look like someone who writes these" he drums his fingers lightly at the hardcopy. His stench-infected odor if cigarettes hits me as equally as his stature. His muscle stood out through his sleeveless vest.
"Don't go on my face"
Go home.
"It was nice meeting you" I conclude it abruptly in a small voice as he frowns leaving. Exhaling a breath of relief I grabbed a brownie and took a bite, dried of energy.
Since I have been on it for two hours I had forgotten completely of where, what, and how I landed here. When I received the invitation from one of the leading literature communities in the States I had accepted it.
I had been to a different region two days ago too. Since Lee had been asleep I decided to write him a note before I left. But I wasn't sure as to where he had been since I was back at penthouse by evening with him gone. When he came back late at night- there was a brittle transition in his behavior.
He talked less and stayed less. Was out most of the time and when he came he went straight to bed taking his shoes off. In the morning he ordered us breakfast and tried to attempt at small talks, but his mind seemed to waver at a different dimension because he wouldn't realize if I answered him or not.
From what I could gather- he wasn't pissed, neither was he distant. He was just- being less Lee. And when a person is less of himself it's a consecutive result of chronic stress.
It wasn't my crisis so I made an effort to not think thickly of it. But name or blame it on curiosity or the enigmatic indications from him, he roamed in my thoughts even when I had left him alone there this morning as well.
I forgot to write him the note too. It was already 4 in the evening so I took my phone out to check on him. But when I switched it ON did I come across the six miss calls and one precise text of his awaiting me leisurely. They were as follow-
Don't you think a note like before would have done the job?
Snorting with annoyance I cross my legs under the table, one of my heels digs through the plush carpet as I typed.
I forgot. And you should not worry. i can take care of myself.
There was no reply for a while. I decided to take a break since it was wee hours of options given to me. I wasn't done for the day- but I can rest for a moment. The book club was under the wing of a luxury mall so when I craved some tacos I got up dusting my beige halter neck dress and adjusted my headband.
When I passed through the security check by the food court I was painfully made aware of the attention I received. For most- I was a stranger to them. But when I garnered some heated glances from men and boys, I couldn't help but squirm with worry. I know I looked good. It had been my focal point to dress and appear as appealing as I could for the event. But now- I think I was too early to put myself in such an uncalled spotlight.
So I make half a circle as my stomach drops. The appetite suddenly a past decoy. I wasn't hungry anymore- so when I grabbed my coffee from the counter of Starbucks, an order that I had up by the nearest station I was by - I tried to scruff my way out as soon as I could.
Big mistake.
In haste, I ceased to operate, outperforming my patience as I collided with the first person that entered through the door. The iced drink lathers by my wrist and hand, but the majority of the dark brown liquid soaks through the unfortunate man's clear white hoodie who collided against me.
"Fuck" I whisper. He still in trance had his gaze low. When he looked up tilting is when I finally saw his face. His hair was trimmed in fauxhawk undercut was light Auburn in colour. He had sharp features that complimented his olive skin-
And when he saw me with those odd blue eyes-
I know they weren't his real eye color. But they did wonders with his five o clock shadow that finished up his face.
"It's okay"
It was him who said that. Probably since I hadn't uttered a word or looked away from him after I had cursed.
"It's not" I mumble with my trembling hands coming up to pat his shirt. But before I could do it- I retreat them away "Let me buy you a new shirt. Please"
This is how it's done. I was dying inside with the number of eyes on us- but when he smirks inserting his hands inside his jeans pocket, inclining. Melting further in embarrassment I derail with my mouth slightly agape and my eyes fatigued from thinking too hard.
"What's your name?" he says as we switch to the side so others could pass by and the staff could clean the mess I cultivated.
Why wasn't I gone when he said it was fine?
Why was I here?
Yes. Manner. Stupid Asian manners.
"Please. Let me repay" I plead.
His gaze rises in amusement. For some unfathomable reason, I disliked the attitude he regarded me with. Me and my body- I wasn't comfortable.
"That's a unique name. Please let me repay?"
I force out a chuckle. As awkward as it came I did a slight bow at him.
"Forgive me. I am extremely sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going" with last resort I took a step back to leave since he said it was fine. It's what he expects from me. Right? To just go.
A bad omen vibes through us when he straightened up frowning.
"Actually. You can give me your number and name. So I could link you to the designer who customized this shirt for me. You can repay me through her" he must've smelled the hesitation in me- but all I could smell among us was the aroma of coffee I had sprayed on him. So despite my mind screaming at me to not do it and settle it with money- I refuted. Selecting my card from my sling bag I hand it to him. He reads through them as I stood there like a student whose test papers were corrected through.
"Han shin young," he says it as if he was tasting my name on his lips. I nod playing at the strap of my purse. He extends his hand with a murky glint in his eyes. I take it for the shake as he puts a name to his face-
"Nicholas Moreno"
***
Exhausted I take my seat. The golden fluorescents upon the ceiling panel were committed to where I sat. For a couple of minutes, I pondered upon the blunder. Though I desperately wished to balance it out. I secretly aspired the I don't get his call.
So when my mobile rang with a text indication. My heart raced with scenarios.
They weren't pleasant.
Where are you?
It was Lee. I exhale smiling. I had never been so happy about his name lighting up in fonts by the screen.
I replied to him with my present destination.
When can I pick you up?
Squinting I read the message twice to see if I was bluffing. So when I honestly answered him- his reaction was perceptible.
"Three hours later? What are you planning to do there? Mop the floors?
What was he so pressed about? I don't text him again for two huge reasons.
One: Because I was being unprofessional while on a work that has promised me of a big fat cheque.
Two: Because I heard I heard my name being called. No, screamed with respect from the doorway as a security guard attempted to keep a man at bay. A very, very familiar man.
"MISS HAN SHIN YOUNG" he hollers " I DONT HAVE THE PASS. BUT TELL HIM WE KNOW EACH OTHER"
Almost slipping through my seat I crane my wide eyed gaze to look at him. I know him. I was sure he was the man I met at the conference in Manila two months ago.
Fisher?
Fixer?
"ITS ALDO FISCHER. REMEMBER?" There was it. The one with a witch wife. As he struggled to free himself from the guard's clutches I contemplate to let him be. But since he was attracting attention I motion for the security to let him go.
And soon we found ourselves seated facing each other.
"I heard you got married" he speeds the starters, chugging the glass of water I gave him "Congratulations"
I don't say anything. I merely watch him- waiting for him to earn up to the matter.
"I wish for you both to have a successful marriage," he says warming his jaws with the dab of a hanky. He was nervous as heck. So like me. I guess he wasn't lying when he said he could understand.
"How is your wife?" It was a router. To make him know that I wasn't bitter about what had happened "And kids"
He goes tight for a second, then chuckled. A sad glint in his tone as he adjusted the loose strap of his watch.
"She filed for a divorce two weeks ago" he surges as I sat there sympathizing with him in mask. In reality, I wasn't so shocked by it. With the suffocation the woman was- I was surprised it had worked for so long. But when Fischer spoke again. I knew why. "She also wants the custody of both the girls"
Kids.
I see why Fischer stayed.
"But we are not here to talk about my misfortunes. But of a prospect" he undertook an involuntary pride. As if to convince me.
"Not happening. I am not selling the script" when I say it with a straight face, his entire demeanor falls into a mush.
"Please" he cries out of frustration "It will save me my job"
Rolling the pencil on the table I refused to look up at him so I could avoid being ushered into a guilt trip.
"There are better works your director can adapt from" I provide with my small, but detailed voice.
"You think I haven't tried that. He is obsessed with this project and I am a hamster that he is willing to sacrifice"
This leads me to a question.
"Why are you a hamster?" I inspect as his frustration dissolves.
"Why not?" He still had a thoughtful look on his face. He hadn't given it an impression.
"You can be a goat or a panda" I was stalling now.
"Probably because I get so scared easily. No, look. Hamster fits me and I -
He stops short. Then he glares at me or it's what I think he does.
"You are trying to seize me off the track" he accuses me as I smile in worry. What happened after that was pure chaos. He got up with a villainous glance and walked around me. Then he dropped down to my feet, grabbing my ankle,creating a scene. It took him two guards and a promise of consideration from me to take him out.
After that, the last three hours flew by with my mind and body occupied. When I was out into the main shopping hall I exhaled a loud sigh with my hands cupped by my knees as I crouched breathing.
Having skipped lunch and now standing at the peak hours of dinner time, I spot a lone vending machine by the right. With a vulnerable walk, I reach through my bag and pushed in the money for a pack of smarties and a nutrition bar, I expect it to roll down the disc tray as it always does.
But nothing comes out as I stare at the opening, waiting for it to answer me. Going as far as to tap the side of the storage I do my best to represent a composed ambiance. But when a converse clad leg from behind kicks at the base of the machine with sheer force do I jump shrieking.
With a hand to my heart, I turn to notice Lee who stood there as if he just didn't kick a private property. He looked unamused and ably I bothered, clothed in a simple long-sleeved t-shirt, khaki pants, and an additive baseball cap.
He looks at me through the side, his signature grin nonexistent. Missing since two days in a row now.
"You shouldn't kick something that gives you food" as I said it. I know it's not what I should be confiding to a person who was here for the sole requirement of taking me home.
"Similar to how one shouldn't leave a person uninformed when they share the same roof" he presses at the buttons with his voice as pressed with the pressure he was pressing at.
"I should have" admitting I rise a brow " But I forgot. Isn't it the same way how you sometimes leave the house too?"
He halts his repairing mechanisms as he shifts, the bright glow from the vending machine casts a luminous around us. The illumination that can reveal the blackheads that you don't even have. His nose, still looked glassy and clean. But they were high and sharp tonight. Angry even.
"It's different"
"It's sexist"
"You don't know this city like I do"
When I punch at the button harshly I know I was exhilarating my pent-up emotions that I should be sleeping off.
"You don't know me like I do" I couldn't recognize my voice as it lacked any kind of uncertainty. It felt as if it was raw with the truth. With Lee, in a week I wasn't holding my guard anymore. So when he grabs my wrist and makes me look at him. I hate how skillfully he could read me.
"Maybe I don't know you. But you are a defenseless girl in a new place- I am just trying to take care of you" his voice softens as i steal my gaze from his overwhelming ones.
"Seoul wasn't any better" I mumble to myself. The forbidden days resurfacing.
"You said something?" he lets go of my hands as I tap, defeated by the useless metal box that ate my money.
"I said I don't want to be taken care of"
when I say that I am unethical when it comes to redeeming my adamant attitude. I mean it. Perhaps if I had lacked a drawback in my temperament that keeps me grounded. I would've been the typical mean girl that everyone hates.
But Lee had an experimental answer to that. He moves my hands away from the buttons.
"Sometimes stubbornness needs to be treated with care" he lifts his palms up to the metallic glass frame "You have to gently stroke and caress them. Make them understand that you mean no harm" he does the very thing he says. Brushes the back of his fingers lightly by it.
Then he smirks. The kind that wasn't offensive or troubling. But casually intimidating.
"And at last, you got to smack some sense so they are surprised and give you what you want"
There was a sound of him swatting it carefully.
And just like that the engine vibrates and out slips the contents I had been yearning for. With a stoic posture I grab the treats, aware of the easy smile he now had after having made his point.
A point where he necessarily wasn't talking about an outrageous vending machine.
Lee is...kinky. Kind of. I don't know. Sorry I hadn't been able to reply to the comments. But finally here's the chapter- vote and comment. Enjoy.
Unedited.