Four. Steve and V
Hawkins, 1983
Dear Steve,
well, I'm going to be honest, I'm not writing this for you. I'm not writing this for anyone, I'm writing it for me. But, I'll just say your name so this feels real for me.
I hate this fucking baby.
I don't know why I had her. I think it was some kind of I don't know what I've done with my life and I want to create hell type of thing for everyone else around me.. But it's a child. It's on me. Not other people. This is so different from what was circling in my head. Clearly. My mom watches her more than I do, but my mom claimed to have left my town a few days ago and I've already gotten the call that she's back in a cell. I also dropped out of college, figures. I do wonder what Harvard would've been like from time to time.
So, it's just me and Violet and drugs.
Violet in which I hate. Violet in which reminds me of Steve. Violet in which never shuts up. Violet in which is obsessed with this stupid stuffed bear that looks like shit. Violet in which makes me wish I was dead.
I hate being a mother. I hate being her mother. In all honesty, I wouldn't even call me a mother.
I'm just a girl with some baby who looks a lot like me.
I made the decision I'll head back to Hawkins, I won't stay long, but I'll place Violet at a decent safety net.
I know Steve isn't the greatest choice, he definitely can't take care of a child anymore than I can. But I know he'd get better at it, because when Steve gets defensive over somethingâit's hell.
So, Violet should be okay. I was for a while when I was with him.
I would've been even better if I stayed with him. I know that now, and it bothers the fuck out of me.
His alarm clock is the devil in disguise.
The second it blares, Violet blares at the startle. And Steve is nearly tripping out of bed as he hushes the machine and races towards the edge of his room. The sheets were tangled with his limbs. Violet kicks and cries. His heart is pounding at all the noises already; it's six thirty. Monday, first day of senior year. Fuck.
"Alright.. Okay, here we go." Steve is quick to cradle the girl as he flicks on his bathroom light. It makes his room a bit brighter. "I know it's early, sorry.." He snatches up clothes in one hand, and places Violet on the ground with the stolen stuffed bear from Lowen's trailer that doesn't look too put together, but Violet loves it.
Steve stands before his bathroom, the light shining around him like he's a god. Violet sits on the floor, bear in hold as she holds the small ear in her mouth. She watches Steve hop around as he kicks into his jeans. "So, I'll be gone for like.. eight hours? Well, actually, maybe longer.. I have basketball three days out of the week and swim the other two. So, I'll be gone longer, but Candy's got you. You love Candy don't you, Violet?"
She just stares because she can't talk and Steve huffs. "I've officially lost it." The boy rushes his time in the bathroom, but his main focus is his hair (he never rushes that). His hair is a perfect distraction, for others. That's why he always has it perfect, it's a mask. When he steps out and over the baby, he snatches his keys and bag. Then comes Violet, she makes a noiseâit seems content.
Steve cracks open his door, hurrying down the stairs. Violet clings onto the collar of his polo. Steve thanks whatever gods she hadn't fucked with his hair. "Jesus! Slow down, you might kill her! Hand her here!"
The second Steve passes the small girl to his mother, Violet wails. The noise had Steve and Candy stopping dead in their tracks. Violet has never cried in Candy's arms before.
She fusses and drops her bear to the wood floors, her hands make motions for Steve.
And for the first time since having this kid in his life, he feels bad for her. For leaving her. He can't help and frown.
Candy bounces the girl, "she'll be fine. Hurry up, you don't want to be late. You need to graduate." Steve takes in a breath as he snatches for a granola bar, and as he moves away moreâViolet's cries increase.
He pauses in front to the door, he can hear Candy hushing the little girl gently. Steve turns over his shoulder, his jaw hardens at the sight of the crying girl. He's moving back towards her before he can think, or before his mother can tell him off.
Candy's eyes widened as Steve presses a kiss to Violet's head and placed the bear back in her grasp. "I'll be back, swear it, V."
When has he ever called her V?
It was a fear bigger than mankind, and it had been taken to the gut.
He had to swallow it whole, the knife. The edges blade him up, crack him apart. He wishes to throw it up, but he isn't allowed. He must suffer the sharp cut throat edges, he must taste the blood and smile despite it. Red teeth bare.
Everyone knew Steve Harrington was a dad.
They all fucking knew. He feared feared feared. It was the second he was jumping out of his BMW he could hear the whispers of teen spirit and it's fangs. He heard it all, and he nearly stopped in place. His chest was pounding, he was King Steve. He wasn't supposed to feel like this anymore. Nervous. Scared even?
His keys stab his palm, his other hand holds up his bag. He can already see Tommy H. and Carol Perkins at his locker (that's more than dusty on the inside). Teenage girls whisper and stare, but they're still gawking. Drinking him up, despite what they've heard and know. They still want him.
Fuck, they still want him. They all still want him.
Steve doesn't get it. If he was a girl he'd be running away, like he'd want to take care of someone else's kid.
The guys, they're still there too. They're in shock, Steve can still do sports while having a kid? Holy shit. His fears don't matter, because they haven't come true. No one hates him, of course they wouldn't. He's a man, the man. The one they hate is Lowen Odette, he hears it too. Lowen left her kid? What a bitch! That's so sad.. How could she do that? Shit.. Poor Steve.
Steve just forces himself to his locker.
"Daddy-O Stevie!" Tommy's voice shakes the hall, Steve has to bite back a grimace as he pulls his locker open (he has to yank it hard to open). Carol scoffs at his words, shoving him a little. "Tommy, shut it. It isn't a joke!"
Steve's insides still bubble.
Carol turns to the tallest of the three, her painted nails gently tap on the outside of Steve's wrist. "So, it's true? You have a kid? An Odette kid?" Tommy peaks his head over Carol, he wants to know too. Steve sighs, no eye contact. "Did you guys think I disappeared for the end of summer for fun? And no, she's not an Odette. She's a Harrington." That feels funny to say. But like fuck Violet will be an Odette. Absolutely not. He's too angry for that.
Tommy blows out a breath, "well, shit."
Carol smiles gently, "that's honestly ridiculously cool, Steve. She'll be good for you, this little girl. What's her name?"
Steve finally looks at his two best friends, "Violet."
"Like the color?"
"Yes, Tommy. Like the color." A laugh, "cool." A beat, "Steve is a daddy!"
Carol rolls her eyes, books pressed to her chest. "My god, Tommy.." The girl squeezes Steve's arm gently before she jogs off. The bell goes off, the hallways turn into chaos and in the mist of it all, Steve still hears Tommy.
"Hey, man. I know a kid is a lot, but I'm proud of you and don't give a shit what anyone says. She will be good for you."
Lily Prescott, sophomore, lives in the trailer park and saw Steve with this babyârepeatedly at the Odette trailer. Lily told Macy Casewell, senior, who then told Allie Kingman, senior.. and before you knew it, all of Hawkins knew Steve Harrington was a dad.