Sixteen. Jen and Violet Part II
A big part of Jen only really liked Steve because of his daughter. His daughter who needed a mother.
And I'm not sitting here writing this to say Jen will be Violet Harrington's new mother and everything will be bright and dandy. Because it won't. I'm saying this because Jen has always believed a daughterâa child, any child, needs their mother. Whether that mother is beyond extraordinary or whether she's horrid. Both types of mothers teach lessons to their kids, good and bad. It shows daughters what they should and shouldn't be when they're older.
Jen never needed her father. She still doesn't.
Because her mother, Jennifer, had done it all. She made sure her girls never had a reason to ask for a father and need him. Not even when the little girls at school asked why they didn't have a daddy at home.
And yes, maybe Jennifer did check out early. But she had done it when she knew her girls could carry themselves. They knew how to cook, make money, go on in school, drive. Alex had a job, Jen made that food on their table. It wasn't a lot, but it was something.
They didn't have to be Jennifer. They didn't have to spend nights with older grimy men at the trailer park for money to feed their kids. They didn't have to have two jobs. They didn't have to hurt like Jennifer once did.
(Jen still believes she's hurting. Even in death. Oh, Jenny, Mother..)
And Jen didn't want that for Violet. Simple. And it was clearer than day Nancy Wheeler was not going to give the small girl just that. Not because she was being malicious or cruelâsimply because she wasn't made for a life like that, yet. Or maybe never. Who knows. But now wasn't the time.
Jen had been taking care of people her whole life. It's who she is.
Jen had woken up like she never had before.
It had been terrors of a missing Nancy and her yells, to her coming back covered in grimeâsobbing her eyes out in Jonathan's arms. Jen had woken up with a rough flinch, cold skin, only to come face to face with a small girl.
Violet was standing on the couch cushion, her hands gently at the collar of Jen's sweater under her jean overalls.
"Violet, hello." The little girl babbled in return, coming down to her knees as she yanked herself closer to Jen. So incredibly close, like they were always meant to be this close.
Jen's arms laced around her gently, her cheek to Violet's head. Jen gasped a little as her gaze moved around, she caught sight of the weight on her legs. Steve was sleeping on her legs like a child. His hair a frantic boyish mess, his hands clutching her ankles as his head rested on the sides of her thighs.
Her heart hurdled to her throat.
He was stuck to her like she'd disappeared in the time his eyes were close. Jen really had to pee. Her eyes were stuck on the boy as she gently bounced his kid in her hold. How did she get here?
She didn't mind. (Really, she didn't.)
After a little struggle, Jen had managed to slip past Steveâthe boy now leaning against the couch. Surely more comfortable than Jen's legs.
"âAnd this is the bathroom." Jen said gently to Violet. Violet's dark little eyes looked around, like she could actually understand Jen's words.
Jen smiled gently at the girl, she moved more into the small room. She figured she'd place Violet in the tub while she quickly used the bathroom.
As Jen started to gently lower her, she paused. Jen's eyes glued to the tub as Violet's little legs dangled over it. The tub her mother had ended her life in. Jen swallowed thickly and changed her mind. Violet could wait on the small rug to the right of Jen's foot as she quickly used the toilet.
Jen pulled funny faces at the little girl, Violet laughing her sound away.
It was so quiet as Steve came too. He found peace in the quiet, before he was instantly hit with nausea.
Where is my daughter?
It shocked him sometimes when he found himself caring so highly for anything but himself. But he had grown, he had too.
The boy pushed himself off the carpet ground quick, head swaying a little. He blinked hard, balled up fist pressed into his eyes. He took five deep breaths, his heavy chest calmed down.
He listened closely.
He heard before he saw. It was a soft voice, singing a soft jam. Steve had never heard of it before. The boys eyes peeled back as he caught sight of the girls. Jen and Violet. Violet and Jen. They were in the kitchen. Jen stood before the stove, spatula in her right hand and Violet in the left. The small brunette was clung to her hip, she was giggling gently as Jen bounced her as she sang and cooked.
It smelled like breakfast and domestic Sundays. What Steve's home use to be when he was a child.
Jen looked so perfect like this. She belonged doing thisâit made Steve crazy.
God, he'd fallen asleep on her last night. Fuck.
The boy swallowed harshly, rolling his shoulders back. He wanted to be stronger than he'd been last night. He hoped a sliver of King Steve would make an appearanceâhe knew he didn't need to be that kind of guy around Jen. But still, he was embarrassed for shutting down last night. Embarrassed for letting a moment he saw between Nancy and some freak bother him so much.
This was not who he was.
He did not worry about things like this.
Months ago he was at his best. At the top.
But that was all before a kid was dropped off at his front door like a government spying package.
Steve frowned and let his shoulders fall. He was not going to be smug, he knew he couldn'tâhe needed a break... and he had gotten one. This girl in this trailer had given him one.
Last night was one of the first good nights of sleepâfor both of them.
Steve slowly moved into the kitchen, leaning against the counter behind Jen. He watched her with a soft smile. Violet noticed him first, because she let out a high pitch squeal. It made Jen flinch, and she looked over her shoulderâher alarmed eyes faded softly to something horrifying sweet. It made Steve's blood run cold: She was beautiful. Effortlessly beautiful.
"Steve. Hi, g'morning. Say good morning to your dad, Violet."
Violet made a little noise as her hands twinkled for her father.
Steve's whole body felt warm. Tingles under his faded tan skin. "Morning, you two.." He said gently as he moved across the kitchen. He took Violet from Jen softly. Violet clung to him instantly, her small hands stuffing into the ends of his styled free hair. Her tongue stuck out a little like she had to heavily concentrate of his mess of hair strands.
Steve and Jen smiled at each other. It was soft and sweet. Silent.
"I'm making strawberry pancakes. I hope that's okay? I'm sure I have something else if you don't want pancakesâ" She definitely didn't have anything else, but she'd figure something out for him.
Steve hummed, a hand coming down her left arm softly. "Strawberry pancakes sound perfect." He squeezed gently, and the squeezed traveled all through her. It was like he'd reached into her chest and squeezed her heart too. She pushed out a smile as she finished the last batch.
Steve stood by her side the entire time. They talked softly and about whatever they could muster up.
Violet sat on the floor before them, playing gently on a blanket. Every now and then she'd stop her playing to watch the two. Jen didn't notice as she topped off the pancakes with whip cream and cinnamon and more strawberries. Steve on the other hand did notice, it kind of freaked him out.
It was like Violet knew something they didn't.
"Okay.. All done." Steve's eyes flickered back to Jen. Her smile was pretty and proud of what she madeâthe pancakes also looked really pretty too. "They look awesome," Steve spoke gently.
Jen's eyes flickered up to his, a now shy smile playing on her rosette lips. Steve hummed as he looked at her, his head tilted to the sideâhe couldn't help but smile himself.
Jen's cheeks faded red at the intensity of his look. She shifted her hair as a distraction, but it seem to make things worse.
Because Steve lifted his hand once hers was gone.
He fixed a strand of her dark strands and gently tucked some fallen hair in her face begin her ear. Her left side of her face was suddenly exposed. She let out a shaky breath as the pad of the boys thumb ran over her cheekbone. Her skin was so soft under his tougher touch.
He did it again. And again.
She had to look away or she was going to do something weak.
But her blood pressure dropped and her system went haywire as the boy's hand gently cupped the side of her face. Her face fit perfectly in his grasp. She couldn't help it, she pushed into his touch softly.
Her eyes had to meet his, but he was staring down at her lips.
Her heart jumped to het throat. She was going to cry (?)
But she knew better. She did. She didn't know what happened with Nancy and Jonathan after she left, but she didn't want to do something like this to Nancyâ her first real friend.
"Steve.." Jen's voice sounded so pained as she said his name. His eyes finally flickered back to her own. Jen shook her head gently, "we can't." Steve's jaw clenched, she was rightâbut that didn't mean he wanted her to be right.
He didn't want her to be right.
Jen spoke again, the look in Steve's eyes made her speak again. "Nancy. I can't do this to Nancyâ" Steve bit the snakes head. "Stop thinking about her. For just a second."
It happened quicker than light.
For a moment she didn't understand what was happening, but this was happening. She gasped against his lips. His other hand came up to cradle her face. Her hands bunches up at the bottom of his shirt as she pushed into him softly.
He tasted like faded soda and cigarettes. He felt soft and like silk and she knew his knives hidden under his skin would come out again and hurt her this time. Not Jonathan. Not a camera. But right now she couldn't think. She couldn't even breathe.
Steve pushed closer into her, invading all her space. Her back pressing against the counter, he wanted her so close. They were as close as they could get. Steve wanted her to crawl into his skin, hug him, stay there.
She tasted like strawberries, whip cream, heaven. Jen Leadison was so everly sweet. He was sick, soon to have cavities.
But they did need to breathe.
Steve pulled back a second. Breaths labored. Jen was nearly gasping as she squeezed his shirt so tight. Her legs felt like jelly. Steve felt stronger than he ever had in his life.
This was bad.
Steve didn't care. How could he. Jen fit so perfectly into the picture that had been pushed into his hand.
He went back, he needed more. But Jen's left hand came over his mouth. His eyes met hers, she looked so pained. Like someone had stabbed her in the gutâshe had stabbed Nancy in the gut.
She could cry. "Steve, we can't."
A hand of his left her face, captured her wrist gently and pulled her hand away from his mouth. "But what if she did it to meâ"
"Steve, she wouldn't. I promise."
"But what if she did. Jen, you.. you fit so well it's almost mental." She could kill him for a statement like that.
The girls eyes screwed shut, her hands falling away from him. "I can't, Steve. Me. I can't. I've already done too much wrong."
The boy frowned, hands falling from her skin. She felt so cold suddenly.
Steve's stomach sunk. "God. God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in that position. That's not fairâfuck. Jen, I'm so sorry."
She shook her head quickly, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. He was picking up Violet and her things. God, he was going to throw up. What the hell was he doing here? He knew better. Jen was right, Nancy would never do that to him. She was better than that. Fuck.
Jen's eyes were opened now. "Steve, I'm sorry too. That wasn't all you. I'm sorry tooâ"
He had Violet's bag, and her. He was so close to the door. He didn't want to leave, but he had to before he fucked up anymore. "You didn't do anything, Jen. I'm sorry."
She was going to vomit. It smelled too sweet in here. "Please.. Please take the pancakes."
He did. He was starving. He couldn't remember the last time he ate well. She made him pancakes. Jen wasn't hungry in the slightest, but she threw up whatever air had been in her stomach once he was gone.
The kitchen didn't smell so sweet anymore.
Everything in her was fitting a silent war. Her right side hated her left, and her left hated her right. How could she do that to Nancy?
"Hey," Jen flinched roughly at the voice. A hand gently coming down on her shoulder. The girl looked over her should, quick, eyes a little wide and glazed.
Nancy's lips parted, brows raised. "God. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I should've known better.. after last night." She said that last part really softly.
Jen pushed out a smile, it looked more like a grimace. "No, don't worry. Sorry." Nancy smiled small, "I think Jonathan and I figured something out this morning."
Jen nodded, following after Nancy's lead as she closed her locker.
(Steve was at the end of the hall, with Carol and Tommy. Steve just watched Jen, she pretended not to notice. Her nails dug into her palms.)
"Jen?" The girl flinched back to reality, her eyes locking on Nancy's. "Sorry?" Nancy smiled gently. "It's okay. I get it. I'm super out of it since last night too.. But, I asked how you slept last night? I wish you would've stayed. I didn't like the thought of you being alone."
Jen smiled small, oh she was going to die. Nancy was so kind. "Yeah. I should've stayed too. But last night.. it wasn't that bad."
Nancy hummed, gently squeezing the girls hand.
"How was it with.. Jonathan?"
Nancy shrugged gently. "I barely slept. I had to keep the lights on. He slept better than I did. It was okay. He's kinder than we know, Jen." They hadn't done anything. Jesus. "That's.. Thats good."
They met Jonathan at the parking lot, almost hiding behind his carâlike he was almost scared of someone.. something.
"Hey," the boy said softly as the two girls appeared. Nancy smiled, Jen waved gently. "We should fill her in," Jonathan spoke. Nancy hummed as Jen raised a brow. "On.. what?"
"That thing.. from last night. It's attracted to blood. It's why it took the deer. And maybe Barbara and Will. We can't go after it, so we're bringing it to us."
Jen's heart pounded. "You want to bring it to us?"
Nancy let out a small nervous smile. "Yes. I know that sounds crazy. But we could kill it. We could bring Joyce peace. Find out about Will and Barb. We could kill it, Jen."
Jen's brain suddenly pounded too heavy, like it was stuck with echoing bullets. "What happens if your plan doesn't work, then what? We die? What happens then, Nance?"
Jonathan and Nancy shared a glance. "It's a chance we're willing to risk."
Jen gaped. "You two are insane. Mental. That's crazy. We don't even exactly know what the thing looks like in bright daylight.. or what's it's capable of!"
Nancy frowned gently. She took one of Jen's hands in her own, gave it a light squeeze. "I know this is crazy. I know. But you don't have to come with, Jen. It's okay. We understand. We just wanted to let you know.."
Jen's eyes met the girls. Nancy's we're silently pleading for help. Jen frowned with a sigh. "Yeah.. Okay. I'll help. We're in deep shit already."
Jonathan and Nancy let out soft laughs. Maybe they could do this.
They were ditching school now, the three of them.