"So ..." Jeremy sighed, stopping the car in front of the diner.
"So ..." I repeated, suddenly embarrassed. We spent a great afternoon together, I never thought it could happen. I was convinced I would be awkward and quiet and he'd get bored and give up, instead ... we talked, like we used to back in the day, or even more. We found out we have a lot in common, we're more alike than I ever imagined.
"I had fun." He said with a small smile.
"Me too." I admitted. I glanced at my watch. "I ... need to go or I'll be late."
"Yeah, but ..." he cleared his throat, "breakfast when we both get off work in the morning?"
I remained shocked. He wanted to see me again? It's true that it was a nice afternoon, but I didn't think he'd want to repeat it, so soon even.
"It's okay if you don't ..."
"I do." I blurted out, my voice weak. "I ..." Come on, Jo, say it. "Yes, I ... yes to breakfast together." Damnit, that sounded like an indecent proposal, didn't it? I grimaced to myself for sounding so stupid.
"Great." Jeremy grinned. "I'll ... I can pick you up at the diner, or ... we meet at the café down the road?"
I nodded, not answering, but hoping he understodd what I meant. I'll wait a bit outside the diner when I finish work, just in case he comes pick me up, if not, I'll go to the café he said. I can't believe this is really happening, and it probably won't last, but I guess I should at least try to enjoy it for now.
---
News travels fast. It took one picture, just one single picture that Jeremy recklessly posted on his Instagram, one picture that didn't even include us, just books we bought at Leaky Cauldron ... and everyone came to know we went out on a date. And by everyone, I mean everyone.
You know how social media are, people you knew in school follow you even though you haven't seen them nor talked to them in over 10 years. So from his school friends, it arrived to our college mates, including, yes, Faith and Hope. I know, I know, they're my closest friends, I should have told them first. But I guess we've never really had that relationship where we tell each other everything.
Obviously, they texted me, and I explained it was nothing to really worry about. It was barely a date, imagine if it's worth making a fuss out of it, but they didn't believe me, so they've been stressing me out to know the details. Luckily, I could use the work excuse to avoid answering messages. Valerie too asked how it go and wanted to know everything, not to mention Joe who also saw the picture on Instagram. Even my parents called, because my cousins saw that damn picture, so everyone wanted to know â you realize how impossible it might have semeed to them, given the fuss â, only one person never spoke a single word about it all. Yeah, Ben.
I haven't heard a single word from Ben since before the date, while normally he would randomly text me just to keep me company â according to him, I may be forced to work in this shithole for the money, but doesn't mean I have to be alone in it; so when I'm at work he usually texts me, saying irrelevant shit just to hear from me. But this time ... nothing. It's been nothing since that stupid kiss, actually. It's as if the moment he kissed me, he totally switched sides, being a totally different person with me.
That's why, much against my very own nature, during a peaceful moment at the diner, I was once again staring at Ben's contact, trying to find the courage to text him. What am I even supposed to tell him? In the end it was just half a day without talking to each other, I go on way longer than that not talking to the twins or even my parents. I guess I just got used to hearing from him and seeing him often.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. The night shift just messed up our routine, he probably sleeps at this hour, and why wouldn't he ... yeah, stupid me, of course it's just that.
"Hey, girl!!!"
I unconsciously smiled when I heard that crazy cheerful voice. Looking up, I saw her: "Hey, Michelle." As she came in, I half checked behind her, wonderind if her partner would be with her, but she seemed to be alone.
"Romeo is in the car."
I blushed at her words. Damnit, she caught me. "No, I ..."
"Yeah, yeah ..." she grinned, sitting at the counter, "you know, I should be mad at you."
"Why?" I blinked my eyes, marveled and mildly worried.
"Because ever since you two met, he's gone on and on about you! And tonight? Ugh, tonight!"
"Oh." Jeremy talks about me. That can't be right. My heart immediately started thumping in my chest. It's true that he immediately asked to get breakfast together in the morning, but ... I kinda thought he was just being nice.
"Yeah, yeah ... listen, I don't have much time, can you get us our usual for the night?"
"Sure." I started preparing their coffees to go and burgers.
"He wanted to come, you know." Michelle mentioned while I started the coffee machine.
"Mmh?" I asked absentmindedly. Scott and his weird choices. The diner needs to remain open until 2 am, but the cook can go home at midnight. Pretty sure this is just a new idea he had to make sure my night shift is just as bad as my day shift. He can't be here to bug me, so he's getting creative, I guess. Too bad for him, every shift without him around is still better, no matter what.
"Fahey, I mean." Michelle went on, munching on a cupcake that had been there all day. When I turned around I tried to warn her about it, but she dismissed it. "He wanted to come see you," she went on, "but then thought against it."
"Oh?"
"Well, he changed his mind a few times, going back and forth. I almost slapped some sense into him." She laughed. "But in the end he opted for a no."
"Why?" Did he change his mind? Maybe breakfast isn't happening anymore?
Michelle shrugged, then licke her fingers that were covered in cupcake icing. "I guess he didn't want to seem too eager."
"Eager?" I asked.
She laughed, as if I'd missed some big important revelation she'd just made. "Oh, honey, how little you know men!" That's true, but what does that have to do with anything? "He doesn't want to be clingy. You had a date today, you have one in the morning ... two plus two equals four, you can get there, honey."
"He ... clingy would look desperate?"
"Bingo!" She grinned, then frowned. "Um ... you're burning the coffee."
"What?"
She hinted behind me. "The coffee."
"Oh shit!" The machine was hissing like crazy, as if it wanted to burst right in the spot. "Shit!" My hand got scalded when I removed the mugs too fast and got ultra-hot coffee on it. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" I blew on the back of my hand, trying to ease the pain.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, I just ... fuck!"
"Water, honey, water." Michelle chuckled, coming behind the counter.
"You can't do that, I ..."
"I'm a cop, baby." That's her standard response to everything, but it made me chuckle. She guided me into the kitchen, and helped me put my hand under the water after having opened the faucet. "Looks pretty bad."
"I'm fine."
"You're not." She frowned. "Now I feel bad for laughing."
I smiled. "Don't. It was kind of funny."
She rolled her eyes, though smiling. "Well, you may need to see a medic."
"It's not that bad." It did hurt a whole hell of a lot, though.
"Honey, it's gonna get blistered."
My eyes widened. "What?"
"I mean, it's probably just second-degree, but if you don't treat it, it's gonna get blistered and it might leave a scar."
"Oh, no."
"It's fine." Michelle pulled back a bit. "Keep it under the water. Don't move." She grabbed her radio, and spoke into it. "Yes, this is Officer Ford, can I get a medic on Flatbush? Mary Lou's Diner."
"It's not that bad," I murmured, but she shushed me with her finger, to which I sighed. It did hurt like hell, though. And there it goes, breakfast with Jeremy skipped again.
---
Trying to fetch my keys with one hand was proving to be a long, long quest. Michelle's friend, the medic, said it's only a second-degree burn so I shouldn't get any scars, but I should rest the hand at least for a day or two, and he bandaged it, of course. He also gave me painkillers, so I felt a little bit weird, but nothing too bad.
As soon as Michelle told him, Jeremy came, and he took me home after the medic had decided I couldn't go on working. Needless to say that Scott was pissed when he was called in the middle of the night to be told his worst nightmare had to close the diner early and take a few days off. Long story short, I got fired. Well, technically I fired myself.
"What happened to you?" I jumped at his voice, and dropped my bag. He sounded worried, but also mad. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Ben sighed, walking up to me.
I nodded, to assure him I was fine, even though I felt a little bit dizzy. Probably the painkillers. When I bent down to get the bag off the floor, my head started mildly spinning, and I almost lost my balance but I didn't fall. When I felt Ben's strong arms around me, I blushed, my heart starting to race as it does a lot lately. Between Ben and Jeremy, my heart's been doing overtime so much that if it doesn't stop I might just start having problems with arrythmia.
"You ok?" Ben asked, worried, his hot breath against my neck, his hard chest against my back.
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"You should be sleeping." I drawled out, leaning on him because I felt my legs weak, either because of the dizziness or because being in Ben's arms made me weak to my knees.
Damnit, Joanna, what are you even thinking. He's gay. Or bi but not interested. Whichever it is, it's not the right road.
"I heard you arrive." Ben murmured, moving us enough for him to grab my bag from the floor. "So what happened?"
"Work accident."
Ben sent me a side look. "Scott?"
I smiled at his worried tone. "No ... just clumsy me." He didn't even smile, weird. Actually, he looked pretty distressed, heavy bags under his eyes. "Are you ok?"
He left me against the wall. "Can you stand still without falling?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"That's one word for it." Ben rolled his eyes.
"You ignored my question."
"I'm trying to get you home." He claimed, searching my bag, probably looking for my keys.
"That doesn't answer my question either." I laughed to myself.
"Say, how many painkillers did they give you?"
"Um ..." I held up my hand to show him. "Two."
"That's a four."
"Maybe I don't know how to count." I laughed a bit hysterically.
Ben sighed, not at all amused. When he got tired of looking for the keys, he groaned. "Alright, come with me."
"Where?"
"To my place, where else."
"I've never been."
"There's a first time for everything. Come on."
I tilted my head to the side, unsure. "My mom wouldn't approve."
Oh, finally, he chuckled a bit, although he tried to hide it. "I'll sleep on the couch, don't worry." He claimed, throwing my bag over his shoulders. I felt even more dizzy when Ben circled my hips, leaning me onto him. Together we walked to his door, and once we got there, he opened it with a small kick, since it was only ajar.
"I can walk." I murmured.
"I know."
"But you're still holding me."
Ben smiled faintly as he pulled me closer into him. "Maybe I like holding you."
Wait, what? That can't be it. It's the painkillers, I imagined it. We headed to his bedroom, which made my heart race faster than a Formula 1 car. When we got there, Ben sat me on the bed, then kneeled before me, hands on my thighs.
"You sure you're ok?" He asked, his penetrating gaze boldly and arrogantly pushing through my defenses.
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"I told you, I was clumsy." Normally I would have stuttered my way through this conversation, instead, be it the painkillers, be it the pain itself that made me freer, be it ... well, Ben, I felt like I could say just about anything. Ben wouldn't judge me. He never does. No matter how weird or awkward I am, he doesn't judge me.
Ben leaned a bit closer, and once again caused my heart to go into override as he cupped my cheeks. "You need to take better care of yourself."
I smiled a bit. "I don't." Bold as ever, even though my heart was racing, I looked into his eyes. "I've got you for that."
He smiled for a moment, then went serious. "Not Jeremy?"
"It's different."
"Different how?"
I shrugged. "Just different."
"Right." He pulled back enough to not to touch me anymore, then stood up. "You can sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we'll see what to do."
"I can go home." I looked up. "It's not like you really want me here."
"If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have brought you."
"But you've been so cold with me."
He rolled his eyes, yet his lips curled up in a tiny smile. "When I'm nice, I'm too nice, when I give you space, I'm too cold ... typical girl, huh?"
This time I rolled my eyes. "Just say you're sick of me."
Ben frowned. "What makes you think that?"
"Well," I shrugged, "first you kiss the hell out of me, then you just throw me into someone else's arms and disappear ... you didn't even text."
"You always say I shouldn't text you while you're at work."
"I say a lot of things, I don't mean them all, Ben. I'm a girl!"
He laughed, kneeling before me again. "It really takes mind-numbing drugs to get you out of your shell, huh?"
"No."
"No?"
"All it takes is you."
Ben blinked his eyes, marveled. And I bet he was just as shocked as I was when I moved. I felt like I was watching myself from a third person point of view while in slow motion I leaned in, ever so spontaneously and lightly, and went in for it. Yeah, I did it. I kissed Ben.