JOANNA
Biting on my lip, I stared at my phone. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen, because it would make me ultra-nervous, so I thought I'd text Ben, to see if he was okay. He was weird earlier. We haven't known each other long, but I am pretty sure he would have done anything to be the one driving me to this date/non-date. It was his idea after all.
Instead, he dismissed me with a generic excuse. It's true that being a photographer means having to up and leave at the weirdest times, but ever since that kiss, he's been acting strange. Even I can see it. I mean, if I, obliviousness personified, can see there's something fishy about his attitude, you realize how clear it is.
"You ok?" Valerie asked, taking me off guard.
I turned to look at her for a moment. "Yeah."
"Nervous?" She inquired, taking her eyes off the road to look at me.
I nodded. How couldn't I be. Sighing, I locked my phone, and pocketed it. Why did I agree to all this. It's not going to end well. Jeremy probably remembers the wrong person, someone more interesting he would have wanted to keep in touch with, another Joanna, who knows. People tend to romanticize memories, make them better than they actually are, maybe this is the case.
"It's gonna be ok."
No offense, Valerie, but that doesn't help me. I just nodded, though. She only wanted to be nice. This would be my first date. Technically I did go on a date a few years ago, with a guy I met online, but it didn't go further than that. If one counts dating apps, technically I have "dated", even if not in the proper sense. Back to when I used those apps, I usually would get messages from different guys, then focus on one for a couple of weeks, until it died down. Probably my fault. I mean, a guy only can wait so much before meeting, if you stubbornly refuse, of course they'll move on to the next one.
"We're here."
My eyes bulged out. "Already?" I blurted out, my heart picking up a faster pace.
"Yeah." She chuckled, then turned to me. I hadn't even noticed she'd parked already. "Look, Joanna, we don't really know each other yet, but, I think I know you, I was you. I was just as shy." Here we go again. Is it a thing where Ben and Valerie come from? Like, a town tradition, breaking boundaries and reading people. "It'll sound cliché, but believe me, it will be okay. Whether it works out or not, it's still experience."
I nodded, not knowing what else to say, other than: "Thank you." I gripped the handle, trying to convince my heart to be still. "The dress, uh ..."
"Oh, it's yours!" Valerie exclaimed with a big grin.
"No, I meant ..." I blushed therefore lowered my gaze to my lap, "do you think it's ... maybe it's too much? It's early afternoon, and we're going to a bookstore ..."
"It's perfect, believe me. And you look beautiful! Ben thought the same."
I looked up, surprised. "He did?"
Her grin widened. "He didn't know what to say, you saw him."
He looked pretty cold to me, as if he didn't even want to look at me. And I couldn't blame him, after that kiss, I would feel awkward, too â I did feel awkward. If there's one thing I've never learned how to do, that's read people. Of course, being taciturn means you observe a lot, but I don't understand my fellow humans, not in the slightest, so I will never, for the life of me, figure out why what happened between me and Ben, happened.
"Good luck." Valerie said, gesturing for me to get off the car. I nodded, and opened the door, but before I could step out, she stopped me: "Oh! Wait!" She scribbled something on the back of a half torn receipt from a bakery, then handed it over to me. "In case you need to be rescued." She winked.
When I looked at the receipt I saw her phone number written in a neat and cute handwriting. What do you know, maybe I've finally made another friend. At least this one understands the pains of not being a size 2. Don't get me wrong, Faith and Hope are awesome, but ... way above the average girl. It's difficult not to feel inadequate next to them. Valerie is a curvy goddess, yet being around her is easy, she's always so happy and her positivity can be contagious. Or it would be, if I wasn't such a Miss Grumpy Pants.
When I got off the car, she winked and smiled, thumbs up, then left, after having pointed at the tall guy standing outside the café just a few steps ahead of me. Well, then, here goes nothing.
When I saw Jeremy, I felt a bit overdressed. Valerie dolled me up in this fancy dress, but Jeremy was more in tune with the place: simple jeans, sneakers, a white shirt under a pullover sweater that looked a lot like the one worn by Hogwarts students, in fact it sported black and yellow lines near the bottom â Hufflepuff colors. I guess I missed a chance to wear my Ravenclaw sweater.
"Hey!" Jeremy greeted me with a smile. He took a step closer, as if uncertain whether he should make physical contact or not, but in the end he opted for a no.
"Hi."
"How ... how are you?"
"I'm okay. You?" Wow, this date began in the lamest possible way.
"All good." He turned to the café, which seemed half full. "Have you ever been here?"
"No, but I did hear about it."
Jeremy nodded again. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he seemed even more nervous than I was. But why? "So ... shall we?"
Having nodded as well, I followed him into the café. I felt my heart skip a few beats when he accidentally brushed my hand as we entered, but it definitely did do somersaults when he placed a hand over the small of my back to lead me to a table. A table that, later I realized, was reserved for us, as a small note specified. In an attempt at actually being present to the situation, I commented: "I didn't know you could book café tables."
"Me neither," Jeremy chuckled, "but it was nice of you."
"Me?" The note did read Brooks. But I didn't do anything ...
Jeremy gentlemanly helped me sit, then he took his spot in front of me. We both took a chance to look around. At the entrance there was an an ancient-looking counter, behind it, 3 large bookshelves that took up half the wall; by the window there was a spiral staircase that led to the actual bookstore ... an entire corridor of books. I was in awe. But if that weren't enough, the ground floor was also surrounded by bookshelves, with a few tables scattered around; there was also another room behind us, with more tables, but the one we were in was breathtaking. I've always loved the ancient look, as in old furniture, but the combo ancient look + Harry Potter vibe was just ... Stendhal Syndrome worthy. The walls were full of those classic Hogwarts portraits â Dumbledore included, yes.
"This is awesome!" Jeremy breathed out, just as in awe as I was.
"I didn't know you were a fan." I murmured, trying to actually make up a conversation.
He grinned like a child on Christmas morning. "You kidding? I grew up with this! I always wanted to go to Wizarding World, but never got the chance. I did visit Hogwarts in England, though."
"You mean Alnwick Castle?" I asked, amazed. That one's been on my big list of places to visit since forever.
"Yeah!" Jeremy said, excited. "I went to England after graduation, and," his cheeks flushed the slightest, "yeah, I saw King's Cross, Hogwarts-I mean ... Alnwick Castle, and some others." He scratched the back of his head, ruffling his hair, as usual, but this time embarrassed, then admitted: "As nerdy as it sounds, the places I saw in England were all uh ... kind of ... book related. Like, you know ... Baker Street, The Sherlock Holmes Museum, the British Library, and of course ..." he laughed nervously, "Stratford-upon-Avon, because-"
"That's where Shakespeare supposedly was born." I filled in for him without thinking.
Jeremy looked at me with a beaming smile as he finally quit tormenting his hair. "Yeah."
I mirrored his smile, even though mine was less bright. "It's funny ... those exact places are on my list as well."
"Really?"
"Yeah." I sat a bit more comfortably, while a waitress made her way to our table. "I mean, the museums as well, even though I don't know much about visual arts, but ... yeah."
"I'm guessing you'd like to see Highclere Castle, too." Jeremy mentioned. "Or Chatsworth."
I gulped the slightest. "Well, yes, Chatsworth is pretty much Pemberley, from-"
"Pride and Prejudice." He nodded. "Would you find it weird if I said I read all Jane Austen novels?"
"I thought guys normally don't like her."
"Well, yeah I was a bit skeptical at first, but ..." he stopped, and probably for the first time, he allowed himself to take a long, lingering look at me, from tip to toe. Well, he couldn't see my toes, but you get what I'm saying. Jeremy gulped visibly, and nodded to himself, "you read in class, remember?"
I blinked my eyes, surprised he remembered. I always brought a book with me at every lecture, I would read during breaks or whenever I had some time. College doesn't leave you much free time, so I carved it out as much as I could, and, as far as I can remember, so did Jeremy sometimes. "Yeah ..."
He nodded. "I noticed your choice often landed on Jane Austen."
"She's ... one of my favorite authors, yeah."
"Yeah, so ..." he cleared his throat, suddenly uneasy on his chair, "I-uh ... read her novels, thinking it would be, you know, something we could talk about ..."
"Oh."
"It's creepy, I know ..." he sighed, relieved when the waitress finally got to us after having been distracted halfway.
"No, it's ..."
"What can I get for you, guys?" The girl â probably just a bit younger than us â cut me off, tablet in her hands, ready to write down our orders.
"Uh ... we haven't had a chance to look at the menu yet," Jeremy told her, "is there anything you'd suggest we try?"
She nodded, then scrolled through her tablet a bit, until she seemingly found the right. "Want me to surprise you?" She looked in between us.
"Sure." Jeremy answered, and I nodded in agreement.
When she left, he turned back to me, a sweet smile covering his lips. "Do you think that was a good idea?" He asked, completely ignoring his confession from earlier. "Hopefully she doesn't bring back some weird English dish." He laughed a bit more than the joke required, probably to cover up the embarrassment.
"So, uh ..." I started, only to be soon cut off by another waiter coming our way.
"House?" He asked, ready to take notes.
"Hufflepuff." Jeremy answered proudly.
"Ravenclaw." I murmured when the guy turned to me. He nodded, then left, to which I frowned. "What do you think that was for?"
Jeremy shrugged. "Maybe some survey." He chuckled. "Normal people would have asked what did he mean ... we knew immediately."
I chuckled, too. "Well, I mean ... Harry Potter, he says house ... so you're a Hufflepuff?"
He nodded, pulling back against his chair. "I wouldn't say I'm a Cedric, though. I'm more of a Newt."
"You mean weird and eccentric but loyal and kind?"
Jeremy grinned, nodding once again. " You're a Hermione," he claimed, "but also kind of a McGonagall."
"You mean old inside?"
He laughed. Wow, I actually made someone laugh, and not at me. "I mean, back in the day, you were always so calm, that's very McGonagall."
I nodded in agreement. The waiter from before came back, and placed two drinks in front of us. Both tea. "We have special blends of tea for the four houses." He explained. " Chinese black tea, ginger, calendula petals, dandelion leaf, citrus granules, raspberry leaves, raspberry essence, apricot pieces, apricot essence â for Hufflepuff. Chinese black tea, lemongrass, blue cornflower, ginkgo, lavender, blackcurrant essence â for Ravenclaw." He claimed proudly. "Your orders will be here soon, the teas are on the house." Then he scuttled away.
My eyes were still on the disappearing waiter, so when Jeremy spoke, I thought I'd heard wrong: "I should have told you before," he said, "but ... you look beautiful today." Inevitably, I blushed. I didn't know whether to pretend I didn't hear or just answer, so I remained quiet, which made him think he was supposed to explain or worse, justify: "I mean ... you're always ..." he cleared his throat, "damn, one attempt at being smooth, and it failed." I could barely retain a chuckle, my lips curved the slightest. "It's ok, you can laugh." Jeremy said. "I'm a weirdo."
"I wasn't laughing." I turned to him, so that I caught him staring at me, much to my surprise â I thought it was safe to turn around because he would be staring at his lap, embarrassed.
"Ok, how about this one ... you make the nerdy look sexy." He winked, feigning a bad boy attitude he definitely wasn't credible enough for. This time I definitely laughed â both because he was funny and because this sort of smooth/sexy talk always makes me laugh.
I remember those times, those very few words we exchanged, he often made me laugh. I guess lost in the whole, suppressing my crush drama, I forgot Jeremy was never really this impossible to get girl magnet. He was a cute nerd with a passion for ancient history and books. A lot more alike to me than I ever really considered. Maybe this is gonna go way better than I could have ever expected.