"Where's Ben?" I asked once Valerie was done dolling me up. I did tell her I would go to work right after, and a filthy diner is the last place ever to be dressed nice and wear full makeup, but she said I ought to look great for my first date. No, it didn't matter either that I told her it wasn't a date. Jeremy did specify it the first time, when he asked to grab breakfast together, didn't he? He said it wouldn't be a date. So it's only presumable that this one wouldn't be either. Makes sense, no?
Valerie, head tilted to the side as she stared at me, left finger on her lips, clear sign she was left in thought, answered absentmindedly: "Work."
I frowned. "I thought he was off on weekends."
She laughed. "Darling, he's never off."
"But ..." I pressed my lips when she looked at me weird. He told me we could spend the weekend on this ... new path I'm supposed to get onto because he's off, now it turns out he went to work on a Sunday?
"Do you have a purse?" Valerie asked.
"Uh ... yeah ..." I pointed at the wardrobe.
She headed there, and fumbled a bit. Needless to mention, my room was a mess of clothes and beauty products, all stuff Valerie had brought. "Just this one?" She held up the black messenger bag I used in college.
"No, there's a smaller one."
"You mean the worn-out brown shoulder bag you always use?"
I nodded, halfway between embarrassed and annoyed. I don't care about bag or shoes or clothes, I thought that was clear by now.
Valerie sighed, throwing the messenger bag back into the wardrobe. "Good thing I brought those, too." She claimed, then went over to the last paper back she hadn't opened yet. Case in point, there were a few bags of different types.
"How did you manage to take all this stuff here?" I couldn't help asking.
She chuckled. "Honey, I never lift a finger." When she saw me frown, she rolled her eyes, and pointed at her body with her bejeweled hands. "Womanhood 101, Joanna. Men are happy to play knight in shining armor if they believe they have a chance at a reward later on, if you get what I mean." She winked.
"Uh ..."
"Tell me, do you carry your own suitcase when you travel?"
"Well, I don't travel much." Or at all. Most I've been to was to and from New York and my hometown.
"What about when you arrived to New York? Or during college?"
I thought for a moment. "When I got to the dorms I usually found someone that would help me with the suitcase if they saw me struggling, yeah."
Valerie grinned. "Boys?"
"Uh ... yeah."
"Then you see what I mean, don't you?"
Not really. "They were just being nice."
"They were trying to get to know you, honey."
Oh, come on. Do I really have to believe that guys don't do anything just for the sake of being nice or polite? Should I believe Ben has ulterior motives, too? He's been even too helpful. I mean, he did kiss me, but that doesn't mean anything, he regretted it immediately.
"Now ..." Valerie inhaled deeply as if tired yet proud of her work, "let's check you out." She dragged me to the bathroom, where there was the only big enough mirror in my apartment.
I gulped when I looked at my reflection. That was me? Joanna Brooks? The same Joanna Brooks I see in that same mirror every day? Nah, that's not possible. Valerie had me wear a red jersey dress that reached below my knees, with something she called body chain â which I heard for the first time existed â as accessory; black boots. All in all it was an easy attire, yet it was a mix of casual and elegant. I could have just as easily worn it in the morning or at night, I think.
She'd left my hair cascading over my shoulders in small ringlets; the body chain she said also worked as necklace. Valerie had spent at least half an hour, if not more, doing my makeup, so I thought it would be something heavy that made me look like a clown, instead ... it was simple. Almost natural. Sure, it hid my skin flaws perfectly, from my blackheads to the heavy bags under my eyes, but it looked as if that was my skin, without any product on it, except for a bit of eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara, not to mention the strawberry red lipstick. The last one was probably the only racy element in all that outfit.
"Do you like it?"
"I ..."
"I wasn't talking to you." Valerie laughed.
When I turned around, I noticed Ben was standing there, mouth agape. When did he arrived? He looked sweaty, as if he'd just come from a run. Well, duh. He wore black soccer shorts over workout tights, and a grey hoodie, his earphones still hanging from it. "I thought you were working." I wondered out loud, unable to keep myself.
Ben didn't reply, he was too busy staring at me, his eyes wide in amazement. Only when Valerie pinched his arm, he finally woke from his reverie. "Uh ... no, I mean ... I ... I have a uh wedding in a couple of hours. I thought I'd ... work out a little bit first."
"Won't you be running around anyway during the wedding?" Valerie teased, reading my mind, to which he sent her a dirty look. "Right." She pressed her lips to hide an impish grin. "So, what do you think?"
"Yeah." Was all Ben replied.
"Yeah what? Good, bad? Could be better? Could be worse?" Valerie insisted.
"Good."
"Come on, Benny!" She laughed, giving him a loud pat on the back. "You're so good with words!" Cue the second dirty look he sent her.
Ben sighed, averting his gaze from me to wrap up his earphones, and pocket them properly. "I see curves, I guess it's a good start."
Valerie laughed. "I know right?!" She turned to me, beaming. "My God, Joanna! You might be my best work so far!"
"What?"
"The makeover." Ben explained, rolling his eyes. He was clearly in a bad mood, which I didn't understand. He was the one that accepted this ... date/catching-up on my behalf.
"Oh."
"Valerie has launched a makeover program for ..." he hinted at me, "uh ..."
"Fat girls?" I blurted out, tired of his half stuttered words.
"Curvy." He corrected. "I was gonna say ... curvy girls."
"Tomato, tomahto." I shrugged.
Valerie looked in between us, curious. She was probably wondering why did Ben look annoyed at me, and why was I so mad at him. How couldn't I be? First he kisses me, then he ships me off to a date with a guy he doesn't even know. Talk about mixed signals.
Not to mention his being gay. I may not be a woman of the world, as my mom would say, but even I know the basic difference between gay and not gay. One likes men, the other likes women. Am I such a tomboy that for a moment he forgot I was a girl? Or was it just a joke? Or maybe a way for him to make sure he is indeed gay; like, let's see, I'm not quite sure whether I like women or men, let me kiss my ugly neighbor, see if she arouses me or not. Bad idea, Ben. If you wanna be sure you're gay, you should try kissing a woman like Valerie. That'll really put your hormones to the test.
"Well then. He's here." Valerie announced, so that I finally broke the stare contest with Ben â a pissed one, at that â, to turn to her.
"What?"
"Nah, he's not." She laughed. "But you should get going, or you'll be late."
I nodded. Valerie handed me a small purse, to which I frowned, but she explained it was necessary for the outfit. "Where do I keep my stuff?" I asked, skeptical. "And I need my uniform for work."
"Valerie will take you to Leaky Cauldron, you can put a bag with your uniform and everything you need for later in her car." Ben butted in, already walking out of my room. "Presumably ... he'll take you to the diner afterwards. But if he doesn't ... call Valerie."
"Not you?" Shit. I thought out loud.
I could see Ben's back tensing up, but he didn't reply, Valerie did for him. "Uh ... he's got that wedding, remember? I'm free today." Right. Somehow even dumbass old me could see through the bullshit this time.
--
VALERIE
"Uh ... Ben, can I use your bathroom?" I asked after Joanna had locked her apartment. He looked at me funny, I guess seeing through my old trick. I gave Joanna the keys to my car. "I'll join you in a couple of minutes." Reluctantly, she walked down the corridor. Ben opened his door, and gestured for me to go in, annoyed. I entered, but only spoke when I was sure Joanna had taken the elevator. "So?"
"What?"
I rolled my eyes. "Since when you're 'gay'?" I air-quoted the last word. I couldn't believe my ears when Joanna told me what he'd said to her.
He shrugged, walking into his kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "One can find out at any age, you know."
I scoffed, following him. "Bitch, please. I know you, Benjamin Harris. If you're gay, I'm a nun."
He fainted a smirk. "Now, that would be a miracle."
I hit his arm, and he laughed, I guess forgetting his horrible mood for a second. "So why did you lie to her?"
"Who says I did?"
"Ben ..." I rolled my eyes.
"Hey, you know things change." He drank some of his water. "I found this guy after you left, you know. I guess it was epiphany."
And there I went, scoffing once again. I stole the bottle of water from his hands, so that I could stare him dead in the eye. "This isn't you, Ben."
"And who is me?"
"Come on!" It's true that we haven't seen each other in a long time, but we've been good friends. Hell, more than good friends, if you know what I mean. "Honeybooboo, I know you. Biblically." I eyed his second half, to which he rolled his eyes. "That ain't gay material, babe."
"There's plenty of gay men that have been with women before realizing their true nature. Or I could be bisexual, you know?"
"Yeah, why not pansexual?" I scoffed.
"Yeah, that, too. You should open your mind, Val."
"Benjamin, don't make me spank you like I used to."
"Maybe you should have guessed since then ..." he joked, clearly trying to throw me off the scent. Too bad it doesn't work with me.
"Ok, so what's his name?" I leaned in, the island between us.
"Huh?"
"This ... amazing guy that made you realize you're part of Freddie Mercury's crew. What's his name?"
"Uh ..." There you go. He's a good liar, but not good enough to fool me.
"You can't think of a name, can you?"
He looked around, from his phone to his watch. "Cas ... Cassidy."
"Or Casio." I laughed, knowing that was the brand of the watch he was wearing.
"Shouldn't you go downstairs? You'll be late."
"For the date you forced the girl you like into?"
"I didn't force anyone." He rolled his eyes.
"She said she wasn't sure she wanted to go, but you agreed on her behalf."
"Only because she needed a push."
I sighed. "Alright. I'm giving up for now only because I can't let Joanna be late." I walked back towards the door. "But I'm onto you, Benjamin." I did the 'I'm watching you' gesture with my fingers. "I'm onto you."
"Bye, Felicia."
Here's Joanna's outfit, if you were curious: