28 | SWEET MISERY |

➖

ETERNAL MISERY WAS A BITCH. The worst thing about being your own worst enemy was knowing it was your fault of every downfall you were suffering. The self-loathing, guilt, and frustration was unrelenting.

Jasper Hale had spent the last three months in never ending pain.

He finally knew what forever felt like.

And it sucked major ass.

At least without Rory by his side.

Jasper was heartsick, lonely, and left with nothing but pain. Like a man robbed blind of happiness, except he had done this to himself. He couldn't blame anyone, not even Edward, but himself for his state of depression.

At first, it relieved Jasper to know that Rory would be happy and free from danger. She would have the future she always wanted—without the burden of Jasper marring her plans.

But life without Rory was pointless. What was forever without someone to spend it with?

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence. How could he be really sure Rory was truly happy? She was stuck in a town she had no job or future in while all her friends finished high school. Jasper wasn't there to protect her either—what about Victoria? Rory had been terrified of her, she had admitted to him later that Victoria had known Rory was human on the baseball field.

Jasper had realized all this exactly two weeks after he had left Rory alone in the hospital room. He had gone back, left everyone in New York, to try and beg Rory for forgiveness. But she was long gone. Jasper didn't know where she had gone and he wasn't about to knock on her mother's door when he had left her daughter after she had a miscarriage.

Jasper had to get back to Rory.

But did she even care about him anymore?

Jasper reread the letter for the 78th time, leaning on the railing of the balcony as the full moon shined upon him. Rory's birthday was approaching, she was in his thoughts even more so than she was already. Not that big of a change from hourly to every other minute. It was difficult not to think about her. She was his everything.

"Major, what the hell are you doing?"

Jasper looked up to see his oldest friend frowning at him from the opened sliding glass door. "Nothing." He tucked the letter into his inner jacket pocket.

Since he left Forks that fateful day, he had gone off on his own. He couldn't face his family, not when he was the reason they had to leave the only place they ever felt truly at home.

Peter and Charlotte, his former fellow soldiers from their days in Maria's newborn army, were the only company he allowed himself. Well, they more so refused to go away. They took Jasper into their lifestyle, but he still abstained from human blood. He couldn't...not when the last time he has smelled human blood ended in the worst day of his life.

It seemed easy to control his thirst when the last time he had lost it, he nearly killed his girlfriend, causing her to lose her baby.

It was a grim few months, but Jasper had learned indeed. Pain never lets you forget.

Peter sighed. "No offense, brother, but you're being a pussy."

Jasper was taken aback by Peter's crudeness and offended by his insinuation. "What?"

"Peter," Charlotte scolded her mate with an offended glare. "Real pussy is much stronger than everyone makes it out to be—human women push out other humans from their pussies! Pussies are powerful—Jasper is acting more like a bruised nut sack! Grow a pair (of ovaries) Jazzie, and snap out of this funk!"

Peter appeared at Jasper's side in the blink of an eye, clamping a hand on the blond's shoulder. "You're so torn up over this girl—go get her back, idiot. Get her a nice, big bouquet of roses and give her a sappy speech, my brother, it's simple," he shrugged.

Jasper took a deep inhale, shaking his head. "I can't. She won't forgive me. I wouldn't blame her. I...hurt her. Really badly." He blinked back tears he couldn't shed.

"Shit, what'd you say to her?" Peter tried to grab the ivory paper, failing horribly as Jasper pushed him away like he was swatting away an annoying fly. Peter stood up from the ground he landed on with a bounce of his feet. "You probably should've had Alice or Rosalie write a speech for you because us men tend to fuck up easily."

Jasper shut his eyes as the words he regretted replayed in his head. "I told her I didn't love her anymore."

"Oh, yeah, she's never taking you back."

"Peter!" Charlotte gave him a sharp glare and rushed to Jasper's other side. Her darker skin contrasted deeply with the two male vampires as she placed her hand on Jasper's bicep supportingly.

The red eyed vampire rolled his eyes, gesturing to Jasper with a tsk. "C'mon Char, he shouldn't told Rory he didn't love her, when clearly, he is still madly in love with her."

"Oh, Jasper, honey," Charlotte rubbed Jasper's back comfortingly. "That was very stupid."

"I know."

Peter pursed his lips. "Why'd you even have to break up with her? Human-vampire relationships sometimes work out—remember that one couple from that small town in Virginia, Char?"

Charlotte ignored her mate and focused on her friend in pain. "You never told us the whole story, Jasper," she subtly encouraged him.

Jasper ran a hand through his messed up curls exasperatedly. "I fucked up. But it was sort of building up, now that I think about it. She wanted a future I couldn't give her, and she almost had it, but then it was too late."

"Okay, that wasn't vague or misleading at all," Peter remarked sarcastically. "So, I assume, since she's human, she wanted to get married, have kids, the whole she-bang?"

Jasper exhaled shakily, "I still don't understand what happened or how, but she was...pregnant. Then she accidentally fell down a flight of stairs and lost it. She swore she never cheated and it couldn't have been anyone's but mine." He had spent the last three months thinking about that night over and over. How could he have missed it?

"Hybrid baby?" Peter questioned with wide red eyes.

Charlotte gasped as a thought hit her. "I think I remember a rumor about the existence of hybrids. Pete, there was that tribe in South America, remember? Urban legends all have an ounce of truth to them. I think Rory was telling the truth—that was your child, Jasper."

His face dropped. Jasper knew Rory wasn't lying that night. But telling Rory he believed otherwise, that he couldn't trust her anymore or that the...baby...wasn't his, was the only way to protect her or what he foolishly was led to believe. He was only putting her in danger by staying with her.

In all honesty, even if things had gone different and Rory did somehow cheat, Jasper wouldn't have cared. He would've gladly raised the child as his own because he would love any child of Rory's; they would be together as a family.

It was too late now.

Peter sucked in his teeth. "Maybe you need more than a few bouquets to make up for that. Jesus, Jasper, why didn't your family stop you? How did pixie not foresee the present day result of how leaving the girl you love would end very badly?"

"Peter, my love, stop being insensitive," Charlotte said, shushing her mate with a pinching of her fingers. The vampire faced the lone blond with a serious expression. "Jasper—do you love Rory?"

Jasper gave her an exhausted look that exclaimed 'obviously'.

She smiled widely. "Then, stop being a little bitch, get on a plane, and beg that girl for forgiveness."

Jasper felt a flood of encouragement and love rush from his two oldest friends. He nodded, then sighed. "I-I don't know where she is. Last time I spoke to Alice, she handed me a letter from Rory with the address ripped off." His best friend was certainly not happy with the turn of events that forced them to leave Forks. It seemed none of the Cullens had been truly happy since that night. Even Rose was pissed that Jasper had supported Edward's choice.

Peter hugged Charlotte from behind. "Ooh, Ali is smart. Now you have to go back to the Cullens to find your true love. This is like some fairytale shit, I dig it."

"Go back to your family," Charlotte stated in a firm, commanding voice, her hands on her hips.

Peter grinned. "Get your girl back. I want to go to a wedding."

Jasper felt the creeping of a smile appear, the first one in weeks, "She has to forgive me first, let me back into her life, and fall in love with me again first."

"Well, what are you waiting for, brother? True love awaits!"

Then Peter promptly pushed Jasper off the balcony and into the forest that surrounded the mountain cabin.

➖

The Cullens and the Denalis were sitting in the large living room in the Denali's Alaskan home as they caught up with one another, a cozy fire roared in the fireplace and old swing music played quietly.

It was a bit unusual for them to all be together again, well, all in the same house again, except for Edward. Alice had last saw him in South America where he promptly told her to go away.

Ever since the Cullens left Forks, Edward and Jasper were not the same. They were like shells, bodies without a heart, and it was tearing the Cullens apart. Esme pleaded for them all to come to Denali to be together for the first time in months and all of her children—except for Edward—listened to their mother speedily.

Alice had stuck with Carlisle and Esme in the upper New York area, although Jasper had recently joined them in New York after a brief stint in Georgia with his old friends, Rose and Emmett toured the Bengali mountain range, and Edward stuck to South America.

Alice was making a remark about the family's long awaited reunion when the vision hit her.

She gasped loudly at what she saw.

"Alice, what—who is it?" Esme immediately asked in fear, her thoughts jumping straight to the absent Edward.

Jasper, who had been sitting between the Cullen matriarch and his best friend, quickly calmed Esme down with his ability and turned to Alice in concern. "What do you see, Ali?"

"Where are you, Alice?" Carlisle asked, coming to crouch in front of her.

The room was silenced by the severity of the vision. Alice was usually never as unresponsive as this during her glimpses of the future. It only happened when the vision had to do with someone she had a strong connection or relationship with.

"Italy."

The entire group gasped their concerns out loud, all believing the vision having to do with the Volturi, the only relatively important subject matter in the country that would worry Alice.

Eleazer narrowed his eyes. "Are the Volturi planning something?" Having been a part of the coven once upon a time, he was no stranger to the ruling coven's proclivity to target threats, covens that threatened their power. It was no secret that the Olympic coven was growing in number and power with the addition of Alice's visions and Jasper's pathokinesis to Edward's mind-reading ability.

"Is it Edward?" Tanya questioned fearfully. The strawberry blonde bit her bottom lip worriedly.

Alice was far away in the vision but still cognizant enough to separate herself between reality and possible future. "I'm sorry, Jazz."

"Alice?" Jasper raised his voice slightly in demand of what she was seeing as he desperately searched her face as if he could find the vision himself if he looked hard enough. He felt Alice's sorrow and guilt from what she was witnessing. There was only one person in the entire universe who could possibly be Italy that concerned Jasper.

"Why would you be sorry?" Rosalie asked cautiously. Only one thing outside the room the Cullens were in mattered to Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie exchanged a worried look.

Emmett got to his feet. "Tell us it's not—"

"He's hurting her," Alice whimpered and shook her head in horror of what she saw in the vision.

The Cullens then all cruelly realized the subject matter of Alice's vision. The other inhabitants of the room were remained confused by their panic, not knowing what had happened in Forks.

Jasper stood up, the adrenaline rushing through his bloodless veins. "Who?"

"No, please don't—" Alice would have had tears streaming down her face if it was possible. Her eyes were glazed over in worry. "Why would she?"

"Who is it, Alice?" Jasper growled out, his hands gripping his hair in frustration. He dreaded the answer, knowing exactly who had gone to Italy. It wasn't hard to guess.

Alice blinked and the vision was over.

Every vampire in the house was staring at her.

"Alice," a barely controlled Jasper said tightly, "What did you see?"

Alice closed her eyes and sighed. "It's Rory."

➖

It was difficult for Rory to leave the hotel because first of all, she certainly didn't have the money to pay for the room, second, Alec would be coming back to find her in hours, and thirdly, the Cullens were coming.

It took her twenty minutes to figure out where she was in Florence and find a way back to the university dorms. It was hard to ignore the judgmental stares at her mangled body, not being able to cover up the black and blue bruises coloring her throat and arms meant Rory was something straight out of a nightmare. It was mortifying but a taxi finally gathered her. The streets were full of traffic with all the tourists flooding into town in preparation for some upcoming festival according to the taxi driver.

By the time she got home, exhausted and terrified of what shit storm promised to come, she had almost forgotten about who would be coming for her. When her roommate let her in, Rory was taken aback as Kimiko left immediately after saying she would be sleeping in the next dorm tonight, the typical agreement they had when one of them had overnight guests.

Rory was a little scared and nervous of who would be waiting for her, but when she stepped into her dorm, she was met with a sight she didn't exactly expect.

"You're alive!" was the first thing she heard before being engulfed in a bear hug by Emmett Cullen.

She allowed herself to hug him back before pushing him away to meet the glare of the beautiful Rosalie Hale and the concerned face of Alice Cullen. She winced as her bruises made themselves known again.

"What the hell happened to you?" Rosalie questioned, taking the state of the human in slight disgust.

Most namely, at the purple and blue coloring Rory's body. She refused to crumple under her shame and guilt. She owed the Cullens no explanation. She moved past the trio blocking the door to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and found the bottles of pills she needed. She dry swallowed the Advil.

Her dead eyes lifted as the pounding headache dulled. "It's good to see you, Rose," Rory replied simply. "You too, Ali. Where are the...others?"

She looked around her room as if Carlisle and Esme were about to pop out from under the bed. She was also cautious of possibly seeing her ex boyfriend again. She wasn't sure she was prepared to see him.

"I convinced them it wouldn't be wise for all of us to be in Florence together at once. It would arise questions since we're so close to the Volturi," Alice explained quickly before she rushed forward, "I thought you were a dead woman," she sighed as she hugged Rory.

That also explained why Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie were the ones to search for her. She imagined if the others had come to find Rory dead, it wouldn't have been such a pretty night in Florence. Rory had been quite close to Esme and Carlisle, they were truly like her second parents.

"I'm fine." Rory kept her gaze trained on the window, which had been obviously covered but she imagined how fast the sun was going down. "Besides, I don't see why it would matter to you guys." She forced herself to be aloof and cold; they had to leave. They needed to be far away when Alec came back.

"We traveled halfway around the world to check on you," Emmett frowned. Something was off with Rory.

"And I'm okay," Rory nodded to herself.

"You're covered in blue and black, there's a hand shaped bruise around your throat," Alice said sadly.

Rory simply stared at them blankly. "You should go," she said bluntly after a long moment of silence.

"Rory, we still care about you. We love you. You're one of us, princess. Leaving Forks was a mistake—none of us wanted to go, especially not without you or Bella," Emmett said sadly and apologetically. "Jasper still—"

"Don't," Rory interrupted him, her lips tightening into a flat line.

She didn't want to hear lies about how Jasper still cared about her. She had shut that part of herself down, but that didn't mean she wanted the three dead if they were still with her when Alec came. She glanced at the covered window warily as if Alec was about to pop out of nowhere and discover Rory had lied to him about who told her of the secret.

Alice took a step back from Rory and looked around the dorm room curiously. "Are you staying in Florence permanently?"

"No. I'm leaving for Forks next month. My mother is getting married," she admitted. Rory was positive she wouldn't make it, but maybe her mother would know Rory hadn't intentionally gone missing or whatever excuse Alec would fabricate. Another tourist gone missing.

"Oh. Congratulations," Alice smiled brightly. "That's just in time too."

Rory rose an eyebrow. "Why does it matter if I stay here or go home?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "We're moving back to Forks for some god awful reason."

"Rose," Emmett said pointedly. He didn't understand why his mate was acting as though she wasn't one of the first to vehemently argue against leaving Forks in the first place. Maybe it had to do with the fact Rory was acting like she was unbothered by the whole thing, like it had never happened.

"...That's nice," Rory responded airily, careful to keep her tone strong. She could feel the panic arise in her.

The icy blonde's eye twitched at Rory's lack of emotion. Rose couldn't believe someone who had been so in love with Jasper at one point didn't even care that they had ran through land and sea for hours to find Rory. "How heartless can you be to be this unaffected by what happened, it's only been three months!" Rosalie erupted. "I thought you cared more about Jasper and your relationship than this." She gestured to Rory's emotionless expression.

"He was the one who broke up with me," Rory said flatly. "So thanks for the concern, Rose, but I frankly have better things to do than listen to your obtuse judgements. You don't know anything." She cleared her throat and regarded the trio of vampires in her dormitory calmly. "If you could all please let me be. I appreciate you all for checking on me, but I am perfectly fine. I'm sure we'll see each other again." Her lip trembled the tiniest bit.

Rosalie was already standing by the door, eager to leave the situation. Emmett hugged Rory with a ruffle to her messy hair. "See you soon, Rory."

Alice nodded, completely crestfallen by the turn of events as she hugged Rory tightly. "We will see each other again."

I hope so, Rory thought sadly.

➖