Chapter 12

(Chapter song ‘Heaven Knows' by The Pretty Reckless)

PENELOPE I start to heat as his arm holds stiff and strong. The look in his eye says that he would do what he says.

I slowly reach out and place my finger on the barrel. “No need for that.” I whisper. My heart thumps in my chest as his cold face stares mine down.

“What are ya doing sneakin’ around here?” He releases the trigger and holsters the weapon on his hip.

“I have news I need to share with you. It’s quite important.” I feel myself start to calm. I breath deep to slow my heart.

He steps closer. “What is it?”

I fix my bodice and my riding hat. “I overheard a disturbing conversation last night.”

“You just prying anywhere, aren’t ya?” He narrows his eyes and flicks the curls over my shoulder.

“You would be glad I did. It’s about the Sheriff.”

As soon as I spoke his name, Jesse seemed to perk. His ears opened. “I’m listenin’.”

I push off the wall and dust my skirt. “Yes. Last night I woke to my father and Sheriff Jackson talking in the next room to my own. They seemed to know each other in a sort of business exchange. The Sheriff is your father?”

“You could say that. Go on.” He says gruffly.

“Yes, well.” I nod. “My father needs something from the Sheriff that you apparently have and they need it by the moon? Does…that make sense to you?” I study his reactions.

He pulls out his weapon.

“I told you the gun wasn’t necessary.” I say as I step back.

“It’s not for you, sweetheart.” He opens it and pulls out several bullets. He puts in black ones.

“Iron?” I stitch my brows together.

“Yep. The only thing that slows him down enough to escape.” He closes it, spins it on his finger and holsters the gun again.

“What are you?” I take a small step to him.

He points at me. “That’s not your concern. You delivered yer message, now git.” He thumbs over his shoulder and proceeds to walk away.

My eyes narrow. I’m at my wits end with him telling me to go.

I stand tall and place my fists at my side. “No.”

He stops, pauses and turns his head over his shoulder. His yellow eye catches mine. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me.” I lift my chin. “Di…Did I stutter?” I feel a confidence in me build even more He slowly turns on his toes. He crosses his arms. “Say that…again.”

I swallow. “Did I stutter?” I say it a little quieter, but I held firm.

His hands land on his hips as he nods. He takes casual steps to me. When he closes the gap, he raises his head. I watch the brim of his hat pass my eyes and meet his. “Ya got a lot of nerve, I’ll give ya that.” He grits. “If it was any other woman speaking to me like that, I’d have a lot more to say about it, but seeing as how I can’t fault you for being dumber than a one legged jack rabbit, I won’t say anything except, disrespect me like that again and I give you something to really disrespect me for. Git me?” He clenches his jaw as he closes the gap between us.

“I’m not leaving.” I respond. The heat is stifling. I want to cower, but the whispers are telling me to hold strong.

“Yes, you are.” He tilts his head to me.

“No…I am not.” I say again.

He bites his upper lip and nods. “I’ve been in your skirts. I know you ain’t got the balls to stand up against me. You test me, woman, you won’t like what you get.”

I feel myself start to sweat a little. “You won’t hurt me. I know that.” My breath is shaky as I talk.

“Ya? You think I can’t hurt a woman?” He cocks his head as he locks my stare.

“No. You care too much.” I nod quick. I know he does.

He glares at first then I see something I didn’t expect. A small smile. “Darlin’. Who the hell told you I care about you? I barely care about myself. The last thing I need in my life is a woman draggin’ me down. Thanks for the warnin’. I’m fine with whatever the Sheriff and your daddy throw at me.”

He pulls back and points aggressively in my face. “What I can’t handle is you. Now, this is my final, and I mean last, warnin’. Stay away from me!” He growls.

Now for my last stand. I step my small stature to his large one, pushing his hand aside. “No!” I say sternly. My soft approach won’t work, fine. He has my hard one.

I point in his face now. “You may hate me, Outlaw.” My lip curls a tiny bit. “Even loathe my very presence, but rest assure. I’m not going anywhere. That…is the final word.”

His mouth falls as his head juts back at my assertiveness.

He hits my hand away. “Fine.” He grinds. He turns sharply and walks away.

I just stand in my spot wondering if I should follow.

He looks over his shoulder. “Ya comin’ or what?”

I smile, hitch up my skirt and jog to him. I follow right behind him. Once I turn the wall I see the men he was with. Some are in there undergarments. I hide my embarrassment behind Jesse.

“Oh shoot!” The big one says and searches for his pants. “Jesse! What the hell?!”

“Yeah! A little warnin’ might be nice!” another says.

“I found a woman. How’s that for a warnin’?” He grumbles. He turns to me. “Ya sleep over there with me. Do as I tells ya and go.” He says as he points to a spot that has some bags and sleep rolls.

“That’s fine.” I nod and make my way to where he directed.

He turns to his men. “This here’s Penelope. A giant tick on my ass.” He points to them. “She’s mine. You even think of layin' a hand, I’ll shoot it clean off.” He looks around the circle of eyes.

“Alright.”

“Fine by me.”

“Gotcha.”

There was a smaller one who stared at me intently. I felt very uncomfortable.

“BILL!” Jess yells.

“Alright! Just calm it down. I heard ya.” He grumbles and settles into his sleeping spot.

“You better. I won’t pause for a second.” Jesse warns.

“Git some sleep. The jobs tomorrow. I don’t need you idiots being sleep deprived.” He turns and stomps to his area. I’m sitting in the dirt with my legs under me. I watch him sit and lay down.

“Thank you.” I lace my fingers in my lap.

“Go to sleep.” He mumbles and rests his hat on his face.

I settle in a sit and bow my head. “Lord, please look down from heaven and shine your light on Jesse and his friends. Keep them safe and bless them with your everlasting…”

“What are you doin'?” I look down to him as he lifts the brim of his hat.

“I’m praying.” I respond.

“Well…don’t.” He snips.

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because…just…don’t.” He lowers his hat and settles more.

I cinch my brow and study him. I go back to my prayer. “Bless them with your everlasting love and show them the path…”

“What did I say?” He snaps.

“You said don’t pray, but you did not give me a valid reason not to.” I sit tall and proper.

He sighs loud, rips his hat off and sits up. He turns to me. “You’re prayin’ for us to sin. Does that make any sense to you?”

“No. I’m praying for you to stay safe while you sin. I’m praying for the Lord to protect you.” I blink at him.

“We don’t need protection. We need some damn sleep. Go to bed!” He slams himself down and puts his hat on his face.

I bite my cheek and watch him settle again. I look at the fire and the men around it. I turn to Jesse. “Why are you like that?”

I hear a growl come from his hat. He, again, rips it off his face and slams it on his chest. He whips his head to me. “Like what?” he clenches.

“So mean and vulgar. What did I do to warrant such behavior from you?” I ask.

“For starters, ya won’t shut up and sleep! God. It’s like talking to a deaf horse.” He picks his hat up, brushes it off and places it on his face.

“No. It’s more than that. What is it?”

“Lady, you’re two seconds away from being left in the badlands with nothing but your constitutions.” He says from under his hat.

“Tell me.” I insist.

“No!”

“Jesse.”

“Penelope. I swear…”

From across the fire a voice rose up. “Just answer the damn question!”

He takes his hat off and turn his head to the big man who took off his own hat. The two exchange looks of annoyance.

Jesse grumbles and sits up. “Fine. You wanna know why? I’ll tell ya. I don’t like you. There. Happy?”

I lean to him. “We both know that’s not true.”

He opens his mouth, but closes it again. He leans closer. “Go…to…sleep!” He spits.

“Where’s…your…manners?” I cock my head.

He presses his lips together and I can see him breathing out his anger. “Please.” He says roughly.

“Thank you.” I nod and lay down.

I hear him grumble under his breath as I drift off.

The heat of his body next to me kept me warm and even though I’m outside, I feel safe. Safer than I ever did at home. It’s like he’s all I need. We could be anywhere, but as long I’m by his side, I feel like I’m in my true home. As sleep finds me a small smile calms me. I’m with him. I know he’ll be with me. It’ll just take time.

****

The morning light has me stir. I’m not ready to wake just yet, so I adjust myself even more. It takes me a minute to realize, I’m laying on Jesse’s chest. He has his arm around me and he’s softly snoring. I feel I should move before he gets mad, but when I try, his arm gets tighter. He’s not letting me go. I press my lips together and wonder how I handle this. The last thing I want is him yelling at me again.

“Jesse! Git yer ass up!”

He shoots awake. “Wha?”

He looks at me and rips his arm out from under me, making me thump on the ground. I let out a little yelp and scowl.

He sits up with a groan, scrubbing his hair.

I sit up too and fix my bodice. I reset my pins and straighten my ringlets.

“Goddamn it…Ya drooled on my coat.” He scowls as he wipes his lapel.

“I did no such thing.” I say shocked at his offending words.

“Yeah, ya did. Look.” He points to his coat and glares at me.

“Nonsense!” I huff and stand up. I fix my skirts and make sure I’m presentable.

He shakes his head and puts his hat on. “What time is it?”

A blonde haired man pulls out a pocket watch. “Half past eight.”

Jesse stands at the smoking fire pit. “We got 45 minutes before the coach comes. We need to scope out an ambush spot. Get ready.” He barks.

I walk up to him. “What are we doing exactly?”

“We…” He motions between us. “Aren’t doin’ anythin'.” He motions to his men packing up. “We are planning on ribbing the stage when it comes through and you are staying right here.”

“You won’t hurt anyone?” I say as I follow him while he gathers his things.

“I dunno. Maybe.” He mumbles while he fixes his sleep roll to the saddle of his horse.

“These men are honest and hard working. You can’t hurt them. Relieve them of their possessions, but don’t use violence.” I try to see his face as I talk.

He stands straight, turning his head to me. “You don’t have any say in what we do. Shut yer yap and cook some grub." He slams a bag with food in it, into my chest.

“I do have a say, Mr. Ferguson. You are going to ruin lives if you do this. At least allow them to live.” I say to his back as he walks to the fire.

He turns and leans to me. “I keep you alive because…well…I don’t know why, but I can change my mind at the drop of my hat. If I’m going to kill someone, how about you first?”

“Uh…Jesse?” He turns to the big man.

“What?” He snaps.

“I couldn’t help but notice Miss Penelope here, is a woman.” The man with the black beard joins Jesse’s side as he buttons his vest.

“Yeah, so?” Jesse crosses his arms.

“So, unless you want to wear silk…” His friend crosses his arms too and smirks at Jesse.

He lowers his head and puts his hands on his hips. He raises his head to the sky then rolls it to his friend.

His friend smiles.

I stare at both of them. “What?”