Chapter 11

(Chapter song ‘Something In The Orange' by Zach Bryan)

PENELOPE My boots crunched the leaves of the path as I held myself and cried. He hurt me. Purposely. I know he did. It wasn’t about what he did. I wanted to be with him in that way. It was after. I felt unclean. Less than myself. His usury stabbed my heart and damaged my faith that there’s a human soul in his dark body.

When I got to the church I had to pray. I prayed hard to the Lord to help Jesse. To clean him of the monster in him. To release my humiliation of what I did.

I know I shouldn’t of given him what I did, but he has this magic about him. Then there’s what he is. I should be terrified. Why am I not? The whispers on my soul told me to be strong and have faith. I’m trying. He’s a creature from books. From nightmares in living flesh. He’s not natural and should be condemned. So why am I drawn to him even more?

While I laid in bed that night, I thought of my experience. The feel of him. His breath on my skin. This is not how courtship works, but in that moment, I had no care. My heart fell to him and my body was released. He felt so real and yes, romantic in a way. He was strong, devoted and determined. I think, for just a moment, his real heart opened. He closed it to me after, but behind his anger, I saw something completely different. I saw fear. Fear of getting close. The whispers confirm this as they urge me not to lose hope for him. I won’t, but if he doesn’t want it, what am I to do?

Eventually, sleep found me. It wasn’t peaceful. It was filled with his strong, rough hands on my skin. My dreams crave more of him.

“Stop belly achin’.”

A stern voice from the next room woke me from my sleep.

“I am not. He needs this power and needs it now.” That's my father’s voice. What does he mean?

“He'll get it. My boy is a little harder to pin down.”

Sheriff Jackson?

“You have until the moon to do it. The risen will not be satisfied if his power is not waiting when it’s time.” My father says quietly, but harshly.

“Fine. Just lay off my back. Jesse’s not some bitch. He’s smart. Let me do my thing and you just sit in your hellfire. I’ll call ya when I have it.”

I walk to my door and peak through the crack in the wood. Sheriff Jackson is standing at our table facing my father.

My father turns his head slightly and I see his cold, black eyes. I stifle my gasp. What am I seeing?

“Hurry up.” My father grits and his black eyes fade to normal.

They walk around the table and I run to my bed. I hop in and pull my blankets up. My body trembles with what I’ve seen and heard. They have business with Jesse and it doesn’t sound good. I need to tell him, but I have no way of finding him.

What do I do with this?

****

The conversation last night ran through my mind as I ride my horse across the prairie lands. I’m headed to my missionary in the next town. It’s a little over a days ride so, I ride as fast as I can. Out here, a woman like me isn’t safe. It’s a good thing I have the angels to guide me and keep me out of harms way.

Or so I thought.

Heading toward sundown, I’ve past this abandoned ranch several times over the years and never saw a soul, but when I look now I see something very familiar.

My father’s horse. I’d notice that patch of bare skin on his rump anywhere. He got it when he stuck himself on a broken branch.

I give a whistle and turn my horse toward the ranch. I don’t know what I'm headed to, but hopefully it leads me to Jesse since he’s the one who took the horse.

I slow when I get to the fence and stop at the stolen horse. He sees me and recognizes me right away. He trots over to the wooden rails and huffs a frustrated grunt.

I dismount and walk to him. Taking his large muzzle in my arms and gently rubbing his white patched nose. “Nova. I missed you. Are you of good health?”

He whinny’s and bobs his head. He gives a little shake and nuzzles into me.

“Yes, I’ll take you home. Father will be so happy to see you, my friend.” I smile.

“HEY! GIT AWAY FROM THAT DAMN HORSE!”

I push Nova’s head out of the way and look to the door of the ranch house.

Jesse’s pulling up his suspenders. His undershirt is tight on his chest and open on top. His brown, sun kissed hair is messy like he was sleeping. He pulls his gun as he jumps down the steps and strides my way.

He stops suddenly when he sees me. His face and gun falls.

My mouth goes small as our eyes connect. Nova puts his chin on my shoulder as I pet his cheek. “This is my horse.” I try to say with confidence, but it still shakes.

“No ma'am. That’s my beast. You lost it fair and square.” He tilts his head to me.

“Horse thieving is not fair.” My eyes float around his hard body and the heat I felt when we were together starts to build.

He comes up Nova’s side and rubs his back. “He’s payment for the money you lost me.” His dark eye glares.

I bite my lower lip. “Money you stole.” I say timidly. I shouldn’t confront him like this, but it’s my horse and I don’t seem as afraid of him as I once was.

The door to the ranch house opens and four more men walk out onto the porch. Now, fear fills me. They are the kind women like me are not safe around. They see me and some get sick smiles in their lips.

I decide to focus on Jesse. My heart speeds up and I try to find calm in him even though he’s not exactly calming.

He steps close to the fence. “That maybe true, but I did work for it and got shot. You stole that money from me and for that I’m taking this horse.”

“We need him. We’re a poor church. Our horses are not easy to come by.” It is the truth, but I try to appeal to him.

He leans his hands on the wooden rail and stares into my eyes. “Little girl. How is that my problem?”

I feel myself shrink in his presence this close. “I…I don’t know…I just…”

He nods. “Ya thought if ya came here acting cute, you’d git your horse back, that it?”

“No. Not at all…I was just riding by when I saw Nova and I…I didn’t know…” I look out to the flatlands and back at him.

“Right. Ya know. You play little lost kitten well. We both know you’re not that dumb. You couldn’t possibly believe I would just hand this to ya without something in return.” He stands and crosses his arms.

My eyes wander around his face. My mind has all kinds of unkind things running through it. I swallow. “What do you want?” My brows cinch up as I prepare for the usual transaction that comes for things like this.

He looks back at his men. They sit on chairs and lean on posts, watching the exchange. He turns back to me. He sighs, sucks in his top lip and looks around the empty country side. “Nothin’ I got what I wanted from you.”

I nod and lower my head as that feeling of shame fills me again. He’s going to use our intimate moment as payment for the horse. Like one of those loose women in the town.

“Fine.” I whisper. “My horse.”

He pulls the reins and guides the horse through the fence. He walks him over to my mare and hitches Nova to her saddle.

I see his men become unsettled. “Jesse!” One big man with a black beard yells.

Jesse waves him off and watches me mount my horse.

“Please. Go home. Don’t come back, Sweet Pea.” He tilts his eyes up to me and backs away.

I study him for a bit, click my teeth and turn the horses back home. I’ll have to ride all night to get back now, but at least I have my father’s horse and I learned something else.

There’s a spark of softness in the Outlaw.

With the last of the orange light dying on the horizon, I head back through the flatlands and I hear whistling. The snapping of reins fills the night air.

I turn to the noise and see five horse riders heading west. It’s Jesse and his men.

It’s just then that I remember the conversation of my fathers.

In a panic, I jump off Spirit and unhitch Nova. “Please. Head home, my friend. I’ll see you there.” I say into his large triangular ear. I give his rump a slap and he runs off in the direction of the church. Our horses always know where home is.

I jump back up on Spirit. “We must hurry, my lovely. Git.” I snap her reins and her hooves jump into a gallop.

I must tell Jesse what I’ve learned. I have a feeling his very life is in danger.

I must save him whether he wants me to or not.

My breath puffs just as hard as Spirit’s. Her huge muscles flex as we run to catch up to the men.

“Faster, my friend. Faster!” I encourage. She pulls more power from her sleek mare frame. I lean forward and search for Jesse. They couldn’t have gotten far.

As I ride, the wind blows something to my nose. Fire smoke.

I stop and try to find direction. When I think I have it, I turn Spirit to the wind. We run to an area that is covered in trees and rocks.

I slow Spirit down and trot her to a rock wall jutting out of the ground. I set her a ways a way and walk silently toward the end near the trees.

“The coach will come by around 9.” One man says.

“Fine. So what’s the plan?” Jesse says.

“The coach comes. You show your weak side and we take what’s ours.” Another supplies.

“I’ll take the drivers. You all empty the bags and don’t forget the chest under the seat this time, Bill.”

“One time!” Bill shouts as the fire spits and crackles.

“Three! It was three times, Bill! I’m feeding ya to Mutt if ya do it again!” Jesse growls.

“So…Tell me, Jesse. What’s with the town filly? You going soft?”

“No! I’m not going soft. I got mine and can’t seem to shake her now. Just like a mud pie stuck to yer boot.” Jesse says.

Even when he doesn’t know I’m there, he’s evil. Why do I even bother?

“She’s was a good time and I won’t be thinking any more than that.” He continues.

“We saw you, Jesse. You didn’t give her that horse because she was a good time. The Jesse I know would have not taken her serious.”

“I’m not having this girl, Dakota. Forget it. Now, change the topic or I’m shooting ya in the balls, Got it?” I hear a gun cock.

“Alright, ya badger. Jesus.”

I lean on the rock and think about what this all may mean. Is he telling the truth? Was our encounter just a time for him. That he wouldn’t want to pursue me if given a chance?

These thoughts hurt my mind and my heart. Not because he insults my honor as a respectable woman, but because I wish he would pursue me.

I turn to the direction of the fire. I feel he’s capable, but his walls are thick. If I want to learn about the outlaw, getting passed those is going to be a challenge only those with immense faith will be able to conquer.

I just hope he will allow me the chance.

I stand and listen to the banter of the men until I hear a gun cock behind me.

My eyes widen and I turn my head slowly to the sound. I stare down the barrel of a gun to my head. Just beyond that, a pair of angry, yellow glowing eyes.

I press my back to the wall and swallow the lump in my throat.

From under the dark brim of his hat, his eyes pierce mine.

“I told you to stay away.” He grits. “You better tell me why I shouldn’t put you down. Ya have 5 seconds.”

He cocks his trigger again and aims. My body trembles as my mind races for something.

Anything!