âI know Iâve said this before, but thank you.â Momâs soft voice is like balm to my aching heart. I canât help but cling to it as I unpack my bag.
âThereâs no need to thank me, Mom. Youâve been there for me too many times to count. Of course Iâd come and help you.â
Iâm putting a pack of nightshirts into a drawer when Momâs hand stops me. âAnaya, where are your things?â
âWhat do you mean? These are my things.â Unable to look her in the eyes, I keep unloading my stuff and shoving it into drawers, hoping sheâll drop it. I really donât want to talk about my dumpster fire of a life, and I donât want to tell her I belonged in one of those People of Walmart books, walking into the store in just a damn robe and a bag.
âNone of these items have been worn, Anaya. These are all new. Even the toothbrush. Itâs still in its original packaging.â She picks it up and waves it in my face, the bright blue encasing taunting me with the truth.
I ignore her, snatching the offending toothbrush before I shove it into the nightstandâas if placing it out of sight will make it any less obvious that all of this is new.
Not wanting to address the elephant in the room, I continue with my task. One by one I hang up the sun dresses Iâd purchased, not once lifting my gaze from the fabric.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, Mom hisses my name. âAnaya Marie. Sit and start talking.â
Her command has me halting my movements and finally looking up. With a deep sigh, I let my eyes focus on the skin bunching between her brows and let her in on a little of the truth. âWhen you called, I was sort of in the middle of something. I couldnât go home to get stuff, so I just stopped by Walmart and picked up essentials. No big deal.â
There. That wasnât an outright lie. Just a little omission.
Mom raises a brow and sits on the edge of the bed, patting the spot right next to her. âChild. Iâm your mother. I know when youâre hiding something. And you know Iâm not letting this go until youâve told me whatâs really going on, right?â
I huff my way to the bed, groaning as I plop down next to her. I know sheâs right. Sheâs like a dog with a bone. The sooner I spit this out, the faster sheâll drop it. âI caught Ray cheating. Iâd just walked out of the house after finding out⦠and I couldnât bring myself to go back. Not for all the money in the world.â My lip wobbles and voice cracks as I bring my hands to my face. âI couldnât do it, Momma. I just couldnât.â
âOh, Anaya.â Her arms wrap around me, trying to squeeze my pain away. But she canât. Nobody can.
This ache lives deep inside me and I donât know how Iâll get rid of it. Sobbing into her chest, I let her soothing embrace pull the words that are carved into my soul. âIâm so stupid, Momma. How didnât I see? How was I so blind?â
âDonât. Do not blame yourself for something that wasnât under your control. You canât control another personâs actions. What he did, thatâs his cross to bear.â She pulls away, her hands finding my face as her eyes search mine. âThe only thing you need to do is worry about what youâre going to do now that you know who he really is⦠a weak and foolish man. Only a foolish man would cheat on my beautiful daughter.â
A small smile plays on her lips as her thumbs wipe away my tears. âWell, whatever I do, Iâm not going back.â
She gives me a sad smile and I know I wonât like what she says next. âWe canât run away from our problems, sweetie. You donât have to get back with him, but you will have to face him at some point. Even if itâs just to pick up your stuff and officially end things.â
Sniffling, I give her a small nod. âOkay. But I donât have to do that right this second, so how about you fill me in on whateverâs going on here. Tell me about the kids Iâll be watching.â She seems unsure, and that wonât do. I know if we keep talking about me, Iâll just melt into a useless puddle. âPlease, Mom. I canât talk about me right now.â
Mom nods, her face going from sad to sadder, if thatâs even possible. âYou already know Mr. Crown.â
âYes, of course. Heâs always been so kind. Iâve been here every summer for the past four years and Iâve never had a negative thing to say about him.â
She nods, but her somber expression doesnât lift. âHe has four brothers. One of them had two small children and a stepdaughter. Well that brother, Austin, was in Mexico with his wife and kids when they were all kidnapped, but only the children survived.â
My mouth is hanging wide open as I take this all in. Who would do this to them?
âYes. I know. Itâs tragic.â Mom continues as if Iâd vocalized my thoughts. âAnd if all that wasnât enough trauma for those poor kids, they go and get kidnapped again!â
Gasping, I reach for her shoulders. âOh my god! Tell me theyâre okay.â
âThe eldest is still missing, but they found the two younger kids in an abandoned church.â She presses the pads of her fingers to her lips. âThatâs where Jack is right now. Heâs with the children and the social worker. Last Iâd heard, theyâd be arriving home sometime this evening.â
Iâm staring at her wide eyed and in shock. âHow is this real life? How does this happen?â
âThatâs something youâll have to ask Mr. Crown. Iâm just the house manager.â She smooths down the fabric across her lap even though there isnât a wrinkle to be seen. âYou shouldâve seen him, Anaya. The man went absolutely mad when they took those kids.â Her voice cracks and eyes water. I know sheâs putting on a front, but itâs clear as day she was worried too.
âSo, where is the eldest? The stepdaughter?â
Her glassy eyes meet mine and she nods. âThatâs why Mr. Crown asked you to come help with the kids. Theyâre still searching for her and heâs going to need all the help he can get with Amanda and Alex.â
Iâm still trying to process everything sheâs said when her latest words sink in. âHold on. I donât have any real childcare experience other than watching Doña Floraâs daughter growing up. Why me? Why did he ask for me?â
âThe family has been through so much. They donât trust any outsiders, and to be honest, I wouldnât either. So, even though you arenât a professional nanny, Mr. Crown pleaded you come help with the kids. He knows you and knows you come from honest stock.â Mom pats my hand and smiles, knowing full well sheâs the stock heâs referring to. âHe trusts you, and that alone is worth more than any world-acclaimed nanny ever could.â
âMakes sense. Iâd be weary of outsiders too if I were him.â
âYes, itâs one less thing to worry about. The kids have their own security detail, but they arenât nanny material. Those children need love and warmth. Something Iâm sure youâll give to them in spades.â
âOf course. You know I will.â
Mom nods. âGood. Those kids already lost their parents, and now with the possibility of losing Pen too, Iâm not sure theyâll survive it.â She shakes her head as if clearing it of any negative thoughts. âBut anyway, Jack wonât stop searching until he finds Austinâs stepdaughter. In the meantime though, weâll need to help them deal with her absence. Theyâre bound to have big emotions, and rightfully so.â
I feel my brows furrow. âSurely Mr. Crown could afford a therapist for the two.â
Momâs face goes stark white. âNo therapists.â She clears her throat and her face regains a little bit of its color. âTheir last therapist was the one who helped in their kidnapping. Itâs no surprise Mr. Crown isnât champing at the bit to find them a new one.â
âWow. You werenât kidding about not trusting outsiders. Alright then. No therapists for now.â I roll in my lips and give her a jerky nod. âHow old are they?â
âAlex is nine and Amanda is five. Amanda is a sweetheart and Alex is a little old man trapped in a kidâs body.â She chuckles while pressing a hand to her chest. âTheyâre wonderful kids. All of them. Theyâre full of so much love, even after all that theyâve been through. Jack has to find Pen. He just has to.â
âHe will. We have to keep the faith.â I bring my hands to her face, and now itâs my turn to wipe away her tears. âHow about you help me finish unpacking and then we can make some of your famous hot chocolate so we can have it ready for the kids. Itâs the only thing that ever made my world right when I was little.â
âYes. Thatâs a good idea, baby. Iâm so glad youâre here. I have a feeling youâre going to be good for this family.â
I smile and hope sheâs right, because with all my inner turmoil, Iâll just be thankful if I donât end up bringing more drama to their doorstep.
âSTOP FIDGETING, Anaya. Theyâre going to love you.â Mom raises a brow, knowing full well whatâs going on in my head.
Weâre both standing by the front door and the sheer opulence of the room is enough to make me feel inadequate. Yes, itâs a modern farmhouse, but the casual nature of the style doesnât mean they spared any expense.
This home really is lovely, and the foyer weâre standing in is grand, with double doors leading out to a large wraparound deck complete with rocking chairs. Itâs the type of home you see in movies, where youâd expect a happily ever after.
The irony is real. This home has seen anything but happy as of late.
The kids will be here any minute with the Crown brothers⦠Well, all except for Austin. My stomach goes in knots at the thought. Iâd never met the middle Crown brother, but just thinking of the way he left this earth turns me inside out.
Iâm about to pry Mom for more details when the rumble of an SUV pulls my attention to the door. Thanks to the wall of windows, I can see the sadness pouring out of the large vehicle.
One by one, a parade of somber men unloadsâeach one as handsome as the last. Jesus. What do they put in the water here?
The men are all well over six feet and as broad as a wall. Oof. My lady bits clench, thinking of the poor mother who birthed them.
Jack finally steps out, the only man I recognize, his frame and stature so similar to that of the others before him. He stops to open the back door and two seconds later, a little girl with blond pigtails pops out looking so damn sad.
Iâm so focused on her, I almost miss the little boy. He too has a matching sadness thatâs palpable even from where I stand.
âGod,â Mom whispers beside me, urging me to grab hold of her hand and squeeze.
âItâs okay. Itâs going to be okay,â I utter the words and I pray that my speaking them out loud brings them to fruition. No child deserves this much tragedy in their lives.
The door swings open and all eyes fall on us.
âGamma Mary!â The two children run toward my mom, the relief in their voice resonating deep within me. It must be a small semblance of normalcy, seeing her.
âHey kiddos.â She crouches down, pulling both into an embrace. âGuess what? I have someone special here to meet you.â
Both faces blink up at her before they turn to look at me, apprehension heavy in their eyes.
âHi.â I give them a small wave as I too crouch down to their level. âMy name is Anaya. Mary is my mom.â
This revelation brings a smile to their face, and they excitedly turn back to Jack. âIs that true, Uncle Jack?â
He chuckles, âYes, but thatâs something you should ask Mary, not me. All this time, I thought Anaya was Maryâs granddaughter, not her daughter. It wasnât until recently that theyâd both set me straight.â Jack rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly, only continuing after heâs let out a long breath. âAside from that, I can tell you I know Anaya personally. Sheâs been coming here for the past four summers, and this year sheâs agreed to come spend it with you two.â
At this news, the kidsâ eyes go wide. Alex grabs a hold of Amandaâs hand and pulls her toward him in a protective stance. Oh boy. I have my work cut out for me when it comes to earning their trust, but really, I wouldnât have expected any different.
âDo you have any questions for me?â I smile wide, letting them know Iâm happy to spend my time with them.
Alex gives me a curt nod. âCan you play Minecraft?â
And just like that, the room erupts into laughter. Here I was expecting him to grill me on my credentials, but like a true nine-year-old, he asks about a video game. Ray might be a massive shithead, but at least I learned a lot about gaming from him.
âYes. I sure can.â Standing up, I outstretch both hands. âHow about you two come help with dinner and then, when weâre done, weâll have some of Momâs hot chocolate while we play.â
Their faces light up as soon as the words hot chocolate come out of my mouth and their tiny hands slip into mine.
I know I should probably stick around for introductions with the other brothers, but I can see that these kids are hanging on by a very thin emotional thread. If my bypassing formalities will help them settle back into their home, then I can deal with being perceived as rude. Theyâre the reason I was brought here, and keeping them happy and sane is my priority.
With a smile and a nod to the other brothers, I head toward the kitchen with my new charges, excited to see how they take to being my little sous chefs.