Chapter 180: 180: The Expert

“‘Kung Fu Panda’ will be an innovative endeavor as an action-comedy CG animated film. We’re going to utilize all the latest technology from Blue Sky to deliver everyone a refined and beautiful world of ancient China,” said producer Chris Wedge; “It’s a fun and traditional story, and Panda Po is an absolutely lovable guy,” said producer & screenwriter Jonathan Aibel. “We aim to create the most realistic and gorgeous Kung Fu sequences, featuring disciplines like Bajiquan, Tai Chi, Tiger Fist, and Praying Mantis. I’ve studied Bajiquan, but which style will Po learn? That’s a secret for now,” said screenwriter & supervisor Yang Wang.

As the first anniversary of 9/11 became part of the past, industries including film entertainment have returned to their lively state. Recently, Flame Film and Blue Sky Studios have officially announced two new projects. The first is the investment of $75 million in the production of ‘Ice Age 2’, set for release during the summer schedule of 2004; the second is a $100 million investment in the new animation ‘Kung Fu Panda’, slated for release in the summer schedule of 2005.

This CG movie will indeed “feature all Chinese elements,” with a storyline background of ancient China and characters such as anthropomorphic pandas and tigers. Blue Sky Studios seems very confident, but the media is a bit surprised. It’s not strange for Yang Wang Productions to make such a movie; what’s surprising is the pace of their development. In three years, they’re dropping another $200 million, effectively spending all of the $476 million global box office from ‘Ice Age’.

In comparison with the animation plans of Pixar and DreamWorks, Chinese entertainment media and fans are paying much more attention to this news because of Yang Wang Productions, because of the panda. Most of the voices on the internet are excited and full of anticipation. “Tom Motuo” says: “This is awesome, finally we can see the adorable giant panda on the big screen!” “Handsome Enough to Alarm the Party Central Committee” says: “Yang Wang, I’m impressed! 2005 is too long to wait, can’t you speed it up?!” “Dancing Lightly” says: “No matter when, I support Yang Wang Productions!” …

However, there are also some doubts and insults. “Selling Blood to Surf the Net” says: “What does an ABC like Yang Wang understand about Chinese culture? Hurry up and ask Zhang Yimou to direct! Don’t create something neither fish nor fowl!” “Wudang Mother” says: “A gift for Chinese fans, pah! Don’t think about making a cent off me!” “Climbing the Wall to Await the Red Apricot” says: “How can pandas just be used by anyone for animation? They are our national treasure!” …

The doubt about understanding Chinese culture is only popular in the Chinese-speaking internet, but the question “Do they understand Kung Fu?” has surfaced with ‘Kung Fu Panda’ and become a question in the heart of every fan and moviegoer following Yang Wang Productions,

because it has always been him talking about how great it is. At least Daniel Wu, who started learning martial arts at age 11, has achievements such as 5th place in the Beijing International Wushu Long Fist division and even founded a martial arts association at the University of Oregon. What does Yang Wang Productions have? Muscles? Muscles don’t represent Kung Fu! Suffering a forehead injury in a fight with an ordinary paparazzo named Cole? It seems that’s all they’ve got now.

Just at that moment, Anderson, who had captured those beloved shots on Santa Monica Beach, saw the heavy atmosphere of the 9/11 anniversary recede, and gossip entertainment began to rise again. With ‘Kung Fu Panda’ jumping out, it seemed like the perfect time to sell that set of photos and videos! Consequently, he contacted various media outlets, selling the rights in North America and Asia quickly at high prices, making a killing.

Then the photos and videos were exposed by the media in no time: “Kung Fu master Yang Wang!”

The entire set of photos consists of dozens of images, from Yang Wang and his group laughing and talking at the entrance of Flame Film, to the beach where Yang Wang is sparring with Daniel Wu, with Joshua Alba and Rachel McAdams watching nervously on the side.

He dodges and throws a punch, his muscular arm’s veins bulging, his fist striking Daniel Wu’s abdomen… If these highly pixelated photos, taken very clearly, were not enough to prove he was a “Kung Fu master,” then the equally clear videos almost explained everything. Suddenly everyone knew that Yang Wang was not boasting; he really was a Kung Fu master, and not just an ordinary one.

The video, without the careful editing of a Kung Fu movie, showed the realistic ferocity of their blows and kicks. The hard-hitting clash, the agile and perilous blocks and dodges, and the power, speed, and technique exhibited were all extraordinary.

The gossip media ‘Hollywood Pioneer’ even invited a free-fighting champion, John Odell, to analyze Yang Wang’s strength. He said, “Yang Wang’s fighting style is very, very fierce, and it’s apparent he has a lot of combat experience. Considering his height and weight, I think even saying he could take on 20 regular guys at once is an understatement.”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“Yang Wang is like a big brown bear! That last punch was so fierce! WOOOOO——” exclaimed the comments online; KICK-ASS’s words were filled with astonishment. Brooke wrote in disbelief, “I think Yang Wang could easily beat Jackie Chan and Jack Li. I’m really looking forward to his Kung Fu movie, I mean with him as the lead!” Kent mused, “Why! Can all Chinese people do Kung Fu?!” Evelyn added, “There’s another reason to like Yang Wang, so cool!” …

In the dimly lit editing room, Debra Fisher, who had edited ‘Austin Powers’ 1 and 2 and was currently working as the editor for ‘The Hangover’, was engrossed in the several computer screens in front of her, holding the mouse and working; Yang Wang stood not far away, on his phone with an impatient look on his face as he listened to a question from Kim Silvie of the ‘Los Angeles Times’: “Yang, why did you have a friendly fight with Daniel Wu on the beach?”

His relationship with Kim Silvie was fairly good, and now she had proactively called to do a short interview, he didn’t want to ruin the relationship with the ‘Los Angeles Times,’ so he agreed to it. Hearing her question, Yang Wang shrugged helplessly and said into the phone, “Kim, you know I have a life too. Why? Because that’s life. We fight when we feel like it, it’s no big deal.”

“OK,” Kim-Silver chuckled and then asked, “So how good is your Kung Fu really? Which kind of professional competition do you think you’re cut out for, and what kind of results could you achieve?”

Wang Yang rolled his eyes in annoyance. Professional competition? He thought for a moment and said seriously, “Let’s put it this way, I don’t think I’m suited for any kind of professional competition, unless it’s one where you sign a life-and-death contract, there are zero rules and no referees, where eye gouging, groin strikes, and deadly blows are permitted… But obviously, that’s impossible and cruel, and even if there were such competitions, I wouldn’t participate in them, and I don’t support their existence.”

“So you mean, in a situation with no rules, you could beat anyone?”

Hearing the question that Kim-Silver asked with much interest, Wang Yang couldn’t help but laugh and said, “No, I never said that. But the ultimate goal of all fighting and combat sports is to take down your opponent, even kill them if it goes that far. If there are a lot of restrictions, then if you’re at a power disadvantage, it’s always going to be a disadvantage, with no other way to compensate. Like using my elbow to strike the back of an opponent’s head, that’s one of my specialty moves. Without them, how could I fight in a match?”

Kim-Silver hummed in acknowledgment and casually asked another question, “This is something that fans are very interested in, who would be easier for you to fight, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, or Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson?”

“I don’t know, you only find out by fighting. But if you want to see if I’m any good, buy ‘The Hangover’ DVD in the future! Buddy, that’s all, bye!” Wang Yang pressed the end call button, set down his phone, shook his head with a chuckle, and walked towards the editing desk, murmuring to himself, “Why does it feel like I’m no longer called Yang Wang, but Fist-Wang?”

‘The Hangover’ DVD will not only have extras like the director and actors fighting, but at the end there will also be photos of the entire foursome’s wild night out, which are elements that attract fans to buy the disc. As for the pictures that accompany the rolling end credits in the theatrical version, those will all be crazy but still within the PG-13 range.

‘The Hangover’ will undoubtedly be rated R, but from the beginning, Wang Yang had decided that it would receive an R rating due to “a large amount of profanity and vulgar language.” And of the so-called seven dirty words—Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits—the film essentially only uses Shit and Fuck; there’s no nudity, R-rated sex scenes, or extremely vulgar shots that make people uncomfortable, which are typically not that funny anyway.

This was mainly to cater to the main cinema-going audience during the Christmas season, aiming to attract more family box office revenue. Children and families were definitely out of the question, and even during the summer season, no parent would take their children to an R-rated movie; the main concern was teenagers under 17, especially families with 12-15-year-olds, allowing parents to confidently say when choosing a Christmas movie, “We’ll take tickets for ‘The Hangover.'”

Wang Yang had always wondered whether the script for R-rated comedies could blend crudeness with humor.

Crudeness means being very direct, using foul language, referring to bodily functions, and making jokes about the lower half of the body, of course, if someone in the real world talks like that all the time, no one would find it funny—they would think you’re offensive and hostile; humor, however, requires the brain to react to the words, understanding meanings that are implied and savored on a deeper level.

‘Juno’ had a lot of slang and new combinations of words, and he chose the cute and humorous types for the script so that you could say “as Juno would say” in real life. Whereas the future ‘The Hangover’ script relies on some quite vulgar jokes, and even many characters only have “FUCK” to say, like dentists and teachers, which is probably because most of the script was improvised on set.

In ‘The Hangover,’ only the fat guy’s lines worked best. His many nonsensical, free-associative funny lines matched the ‘weird genius’ character. But the lines for the dentist and the teacher weren’t remarkable, lacking professional humor and failing to really demonstrate that they were a dentist and a teacher—these could obviously be further developed.

So for such a story, when writing the script and filming on set, he always thought about how to maximize the characters’ personalities and identities, also getting everyone to think about creating more memorable “vulgar humor,” like the original line from the fat guy, “Counting cards is like masturbating on an airplane, it’s not illegal but it’s frowned upon.”

“Let’s slow down the slow motion here.” “Debra, don’t you think it would be hilarious if we just freeze this frame on the screen for three seconds?” “Hey, give him a close-up!”…

Days went by, and soon it was the end of September. These days, Wang Yang spent every day in the editing room, but relative to ‘District 9,’ the workload for ‘The Hangover’ wasn’t very big. Although its theater version was also 120 minutes, there was no need to worry about the arrangement of special effects shots, and he and Harry George had been very freeform with the shots during filming. If they wanted a slow-motion shot, they got it, a super close-up, they did that… just like a boisterous, exaggerated play.

In the post-production special effects work, which involves adding embellishment effects to certain scenes—like card counting symbols and electric shocks—the graphics engine received quite boisterous blueprints. Now, moving on to editing and arrangement, Wang Yang hoped to maintain this relaxed and carefree style while also striving to create a serious atmosphere.

Anyways, he and Debra Fisher were cutting the footage with great speed and skill, anticipating completion of the editing by mid to late October. At the same time, scoring and color grading were underway, with old partner David Lawrence handling the music and the well-trained Harry George overseeing color correction. Their goal was to “make Las Vegas look more textured”—increasing brightness, deepening colors… All tasks were advancing side by side.

“Acupuncture is just amazing! My head has felt so much better these past few days; even the pain has become very mild—it’s freaking comfortable like FUCK!” Ray Whannell on the other side of the phone was extremely excited, and realizing he had used foul language, he quickly laughed and said, “Sorry, Yang, I’m just too happy, it’s unbelievable! Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?! I wouldn’t have had to suffer for a whole year! Damn that James!”

Standing beside the balcony railing, Wang Yang, with a smile on his face, was glad that acupuncture had treated Ray Whannell’s headaches. He joked, “Maybe you should have talked to James about exorcising spirits earlier; perhaps if you had gotten rid of that little ghost, you’d be completely cured by now.” As he spoke, a cool breeze blew in his face. Looking at the dark night sky and the swaying leaves of the plane trees, he suddenly felt a chill creep over him and quickly walked back into the room.

“Ha, perhaps! By the way Yang, I’m planning to take up martial arts to get into shape. Wow!” Ray Whannell suddenly exclaimed admiringly, saying, “I watched your sparring match with Daniel Wu, and it was so cool! I want to learn the kind of kung fu you do, that’s called Bajiquan, right?”

“That’s right, buddy, Bajiquan! Welcome to the world of kung fu!” Wang Yang chuckled and mentioned there was someone else about to start learning kung fu, planning to take him as a master—his first official disciple, the founding senior student, not Jaden Smith, but Jessica.

To become an outstanding action actor, having formidable skills is one key aspect. Because in movies, apart from camera work, shooting, editing, and so on, actors with a true foundation in martial arts provide a very different sensory experience in combat scenes, including speed, strength, and fluidity—no doubt, those who know kung fu are more professional than those who don’t.

Regardless of what the next movie after “MIT-21-TEAM” might be, Wang Yang hoped Jessica would become a kung fu heroine because he knew he would someday make “Ranger,” the movie he’d planned since she was little as a 17th birthday gift. But not right now—he needed to accumulate more experience and more ideas.

Besides filmmaking, another benefit of martial arts training was strengthening the body. Jessica had been sickly since childhood, and though she had technically moved out of the hospital, she still made occasional visits. Learning kung fu could improve her weak immune system. It wasn’t that Wang Yang was forcing her; Jessica had been clamoring to “let her fists do the talking” for quite a while already.

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Early in the morning, when the sky was still a dim early light, Wang Yang, dressed in a black long-sleeved white top and black sports pants, was pulling a face with the air of a grandmaster, with his hands clasped behind his back, slowly circling around Jessica on a wide green lawn surrounded by trees in the park.

Jessica wore a women’s version of the sports attire, but her long sleeve top and mid-length shorts were blue. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail without bangs by a white hairband, and her large, sparkling black eyes were full of energy. Her eyebrows were raised, and her sweet, sexy face was serious as she stood up straight as if she were in a Marine boot camp.

“Do you know what Bajiquan is? Since ancient times, well, since the time of the Republic of China, there’s been a saying, ‘Taichi soothes the world, Bajiquan stabilizes the universe’!” Wang Yang shouted each word in Chinese, and seeing the puzzled look on Jessica’s face, he continued to circle around and said in a deep voice, “Anyway, it means it’s very powerful, Bajiquan is fierce and can hurt people with just a move, even tigers are afraid of it. What it relies on is tough training!”

He punched his own shoulder and raised his eyebrows, saying, “Do you know what this shoulder you lean on every night has gone through? The repeated impacts, banging against a tree trunk like an idiot!” He raised his right index finger and shouted, “I’ve hit the locust tree in my master’s courtyard a thousand times, ten thousand times, a hundred million times!”

Jessica blinked, not quite believing him, “Not a hundred million times, right?” Wang Yang took a deep breath, and continued in Chinese, “No! Alright, in the future, after you’ve learned Bajiquan, you can only act chivalrously and never bully the weak; that’s the first rule of the school, do you understand?” Jessica, who roughly understood, nodded vigorously, “Understood!” Wang Yang glared at her and shouted, “Are you mute? I didn’t hear you! Louder!”

“Understood!” Jessica pouted and bellowed back with a thick voice, her fists tightly clenched, shouting with full spirit, “I can do it!”

Wang Yang circled around and stopped in front of her, grunted heavily, stroked his nonexistent beard, and said indifferently, “Jessica Marie Alba, now I formally take you as my disciple. From now on, you should call me master, Professor, do you understand!”

Jessica clasped her hands together and paid her respects, continuing with a rough voice, “Hmm, master!” Wang Yang held back a strong urge to laugh, nodded, and said, “Very good. You were supposed to serve tea to me, we’ll make it up when we get home. Now, you are the second-generation successor of Wang Yang’s Bajiquan, the head disciple, and also the head master’s wife. You have many responsibilities, do you understand!” Jessica shrugged her shoulders to suppress a laugh and shouted, “Understood!”

“You’re over 18 years old, so it’s time for me to give you a courtesy name, which is another affectionate name that represents the meaning of your real name.” Wang Yang thought for a moment, looked at the interested face of Jessica, and laughed, “The meaning of Jessica is God’s grace and wealth. After some careful thought, I have decided to give you the courtesy name ‘Acai, Money…'” Saying this, he couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

Jessica put on a proud face, cocking her head from side to side, and laughed, “Cool! Now I have Honey, Money, very cool!”

“GOOD! Next, we’ll practice the basics for a month to loosen up your stiff muscles and bones; however, considering you’ve danced for many years and already have some foundation, I will give you a chance to prove yourself.” Wang Yang then stepped back two steps with his hands behind his back and said, “Kick! Start with the right leg.”

Jessica kicked her right leg high and confidently said, “Master, how’s that? Can we start learning kung fu now?” Wang Yang said seriously, “Not bad! But I have a rule that you can’t wear a skirt while practicing kicks, do you understand!” Jessica gave a toothy smile and shouted, “Understood!”

Pleased, Wang Yang nodded and said, “Then let’s start learning kung fu. The stance is the foundation of all kung fu, without it, it’s like a sports car without wheels, just a joke! Our Bajiquan mainly practices horse stance, bow stance, empty stance, lying step, resting step, and so on. Let’s start with the horse stance!”

Before the words finished, he squatted down with his legs apart, holding a firm horse stance, and looking up at the much taller Jessica, he laughed, “Once you master the horse stance, I guarantee your calves and thighs will always stay slim. It’s beneficial for girls and for me too!”

“Hng hah!” Jessica imitated him lazily, moving her feet apart and slowly squatting down, letting out a grunt, with both fists held at the sides of her abdomen, she asked roughly, “How about this?”

Wang Yang got up and circled her, laughed, and said, “It’s all show but no substance!” Jessica, feeling her legs shaking and not quite understanding, asked, “What do you mean?” He came behind her and said, “It means it’s very unstable. All I have to do is this…” He lightly kicked her backside, and she immediately let out a “ah” as she face-planted onto the grass.

“Hahaha——!”

Listening to his unscrupulous laughter, Jessica, lying on the grass, bared her teeth in a ferocious grin, wiped the dew from her face, and got up looking at Wang Yang with a wicked smile, “Master, I have a secret to tell you… Money has decided to give you a proper lesson!” She roared and swung her clenched fists wildly at him.

“Hey hey, whoa!” Wang Yang parried her flurry of fists and kicks without much effort, continuously backing away, shouting with laughter, “Hey! This is high treason, STOP! Hey, CUT! Good-Take! The director is calling CUT!” Jessica continued to hit fiercely, laughing through gritted teeth, “Ah, I don’t care! You lousy master, you’re not really teaching kung fu! I’ll beat you to a pulp—”

“Since that’s the case, I’ll teach you a secret technique now: when you face a master you can’t beat, just run!” Wang Yang pushed her away with a bit of force and immediately turned and ran, looking back at Jessica with a laugh, shouting, “This way your opponent can’t hit you!”

Jessica clenched her fists and took off after him, running at full speed, shouting, “Yang, let me tell you too, RUN, RUN! JUST-RUN! Keep running or I’ll beat you to death!” As she ran, her ponytail bounced lively with her movements.

On the lush lawn of the park in the early morning, a series of joyous laughter could be heard, as an old man walking a black and white Border Collie glanced to his right, seeing a young couple in sportswear chasing and playfully fighting with each other, the male being caught by the female and then getting hit until he was ducking for cover. The old man smiled and turned away, continuing his leisurely walk with his dog.