We stayed in Sagada for almost a month, the beautiful scenery and the all-green view of that place makes your mind really at peace.
The cold morning breeze and the natural provincial life in that place made me want to stay there for the rest of my life.
I enjoyed waking up every day without phones and any gadgets to check, I enjoyed walking down the streets at noon and watch the stars shine brightly at night.
Napakasarap sariwahin ang mga nagdaan sa ganung klaseng environment.
We used to walk at 4:30 AM and wait for the sun to rise, but one morning I walked alone with my dog, we stopped in an area where we can see the dawn break and the clouds melt while the sun rises.
My dog barked so loud and seemed aggressive, someone is walking towards us, Kinabahan ako, the place is not familiar to me and we've been there for only 2 weeks so I don't know anyone from there.
A lady in her middle age approached us, maybe she was in her 50s.
Lumapit siya sa amin and asked "Turista ka ba dito iha?"
"Opo, taga rito po ba kayo?"
"Oo, dito ako lumaki, napakaganda ng lugar na ito, hindi ko na gugustuhing malayo ulit dito"
"Bakit ho? Aalis na po ba kayo?"
We asked questions like we know each other for long.
"Ilang taon kana iha?
"24 na po ako"
"Noong nasa ganyan akong edad, sumama ako sa aking nobyo, nagkaroon kami ng anak, mas ahead siya iyo ng limang taon"
"Ah ganun po ba, so bakit ho kayo bumalik dito?"
"Nagkaroon kami ng hindi pagkakaintidihan dahil sa isang bagay na nagawa ko, pero hinding hindi ko pagsisisihan yung bagay na yun"
I didn't mind asking kasi baka masyadong personal yung issue so I just told her she made the right decision of returning to her hometown then she suddenly invited me to their house, it's near the place where we stopped for a while.
At first nag-hesitate ako na sumama, I am just a tourist there and I don't know who is she pero dahil mukhang high maintenance naman yung babae, karespe-respeto, mabait, maayos ang get-up , naka suot ng rubber shoes na para bang nagjojogging din that time, so sumama kami ng aking puppy.
Habang papalapit kami sa kanilang bahay, their house was so big, painted in beige with high gates and a garage with two cars.
She invited me inside and served me with a drink.
I was looking around the ceiling while sitting on the sofa, then the woman asked me to wait, tatawagin daw niya yung anak niya.
She introduced me to Josef, her son, he was rude and I felt unwelcome and unwanted in their house.
But the woman explained to me about him and told me "Ganyan na talaga yan ever since, nagmana sa tatay"
Bigla kong natanong kung asan yung asawa niya without even realizing a thing,
"Naghiwalay na kami, naiwan siya sa Manila, living his life alone, I can't stand him anymore"
"Sorry to hear that po, so kayo nalang po dalawa ng anak ninyo dito?"
"Meron pa dito yung bunso ko, he's part of the military now pero nakaleave siya because we have to move here permanently"
"Josef anak pakitawag yung kapatid mo"
Kuya Josef went upstairs and called his younger brother, kitang kita yung room niya downstairs and nakatingin lang ako kay Josef while he was knocking at his door.
Lumabas ang isang lalake, he was taller than his kuya, I can't see his face not until pababa sila ng hagdan, I can't believe who I'm seeing, I closed my eyes a bit I thought I was hallucinating.
"Meet my bunso, Chris"
Even him was astounded when he saw me.
"Aika?"
"How come, you're here?"
"Mama, kilala mo si Aika?" sabi ni Chris
"Ah, nakita ko lang siya doon sa tambayan natin anak, do you know her?"
"She was my classmate before"
Habang papalapit siya sa akin, Nagpaalam na ako sa mama niya and said "I think I have to go po, baka hinahanap na po ako sa amin"
"Already? Ah okay sige, you can just visit here anytime iha "
"Uuwi nadin po kami next week so I don't think makakabalik pa apo ako, but thank you po tita for welcoming me here"
Chris noticed na umiiwas ako sa kanya and I think he understand and just let me leave.
Suddenly...
Sinundan niya ako, he tried to talk to me but I kept on walking until makarating ako sa kung saan kami nag stop a while back, lumiliwanag na kasi ee, and I want to watch the sun rise.
I didn't realize na nakasunod lang siya sa akin and we end up there, both of us were waiting for the sun to rise and bring light, I was hoping, as the sun rises, it will also give light to my mind and life.
He then started to talk habang nakatingin sa kalangitan, nakaabang sa paglabas ng liwanag.
"I think I have to say something, Aika whatever issue ang nakarating sa'yo I will not deny it, it's true, I stayed abroad for almost 5 years, and there I was lonely, I don't have anybody until I met Jane, she was a pub owner and I'm a regular costumer, she was like you, she sees through me, she was so understanding and comforting so I fell for her, we both came here 2 years ago, during the grand reunion, I don't have any intention of showing myself, but you saw me again, you noticed me every time, I was hurt when you danced with Khael, I don't understand it either, pero sa tingin ko, I was reminded of our past, you, being my first love. I just can't control myself seeing you with another man but I don't have the right anymore, sinubukan kong bumawi pero sa tingin ko huli na ang lahat, please accept my sincere apology for not keeping my promise and for letting you wait and for giving you false hope. I am really sorry, I hope this will be our closure, and let's be friends or you can just treat me as your old classmate, a terror and weird classmate."
"Grabe, andami mong nasabi, I don't know what to say but I think it will be okay for both of us to have this closure, I admit Chris, naging mahirap para sa aking tanggapin but I don't regret any of those, kahit yung pagmamahal na binigay ko, I realized, it's part of my childhood, it's part of being a teenager, you fall in love without realizing the realities of life. Well, ganun nga talaga, when I thought ikaw na, masyado pa palang maaga to decide, and I was right, there's someone out there who truly loves me. Salamat parin sa lahat, I was lost but I learned a lot. Thanks to you ð"
The smile I gave him means I forgive him, I understand his reasons truly. The comfort he felt from Jane was the same comfort he felt 8 years ago, when I tried to understand him and his life, and there he fell for me.
That moment, para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib, I felt like I was free again and there I remembered Khael.
"Balita ko pumasok na daw sa seminary si Khael?, pero Engineer na siya right? What made him walk in different path?"
"Yep, 2 years na din ang nakalipas mula nung pumasok siya doon"
"Sorry to say this, pero baka yun talaga ang calling niya?"
"Whatever his decision will be, I have to accept it, I'll be happy he chose to serve God above all"
"Don't lose hope, malay mo magbago ang isip niya at iba ang plano ng Diyos para sa kanya, I heard yun kasi ang gusto ng mama niya, maging pari siya"
I regret the times na never ko tinanong si Khael about his life, about what's bothering him or how is he doing, I thought he was just fine dahil nga matalino siyang tao, mataas ang pinag-aralan ng mga magulang niya pero may hidden problems din pala siya without even telling me.
"Totoo? It's out of his willingness?"
I suddenly remembered what Father Jorge have said about Khael, I think he's not really happy with what he's doing
I prayed and prayed that God will let him happy because he really deserves to be.
Chris and I said our goodbyes and I also met Jane the same day, she was beautiful and simple. I really wish them happy life together.
I finally watched the sun rise again, the heat and light stroke my face so I just closed my eyes and feel that moment, I smiled as wide as I can and saw hope for the both of us.
Khael, my first crush, will he be the love of my life forever? Or this will be another "MAYBE"?