Chapter 29/Down and out in Paris

A/N We are back and back to normal. Hoping to get the high five of your vote for today's double chapters.

Stood on the south bank of the River Seine in Paris watching Alexander's yacht disappear into the distance.

"Well, I didn't see that one coming," I said to Sam as the luxury yacht slowly disappeared in the distance.

**

That morning we had arrived at our destination - an expensive mooring point in the center of Paris. Alex had bought a wardrobe of expensive clothes in my size so I had changed into some leggings, trainers and a nice jacket. Walking past the dresser on a whim I reached in and got the testtube with the cure. I wasn't sure who to trust. Pulling up to the river side I had rushed off the ship with Sam,Harvey and Marta quickly following. On board, I had found a paper map of Paris. I was just looking at the map for the bridge of lovers when I turned to see Alex's Yacht along with the Captain and the Professor slowly moving off. WTF.

"Stop come back" I had shouted.

"When you say stop come back, you will always come back to stopping," said the alarmed Professor in the distance.

We ran after the yacht along a stone path at the base of a stone wall along the river Seine. While I could keep up with it I there was no way to get onto the yacht. I started shouting to the Captain, and the Professor about stopping the autopilot.

"I thought you said you fixed it" said Marta to Harvey.

"How would I know what to do about to do? I'm the CEO of the next major disruptive technology break through what make you think I can handle a computer?" said Harvey.

They couldn't do anything. Ahead I saw that the ship would pass under a low bridge.

"Marta, Sam the bridge," I said running faster than the yacht and heading for some steps.

I rushed up the steps and now out of breath got to the bridge just as Alex's yacht began to go underneath it. It was going to be a small drop and my idea was to get Sam to lower me to reduce the drop to the deck. I got over the edge of the stone railing and climbing over it I stood ready to go. It suddenly looked further than I had thought. Sam was running up to me and I hoped he could lower me down somehow.

Marta had got to me first and followed me by climbing over the railing.

"Me first," she said next to me.

WTF. Then she jumped. Thinking she was mad I notice she had let go above the deck top jacuzzi/pool. She fell back and with a huge splash managed to land in the water on the deck causing a huge splash. By the time I saw she was OK and moving out of the pool the yacht had moved forward and I was out of shot.

"It's OK I'll stop it. You go the thing" Marta said to me. Turning to the people on the deck with her she said: "Someone get me my axe!"

"If we were using Magic light this wouldn't have happened," said Harvey.

Sam grabbed me and I climbed back over onto the bridge.

****

"Where now?" said Sam.

"Well either Marta will stop the ship and come for us or we are stuck here or we learn to swim in the sea really really well if we want to get back home," I said, "If we find the French branch of the labyrinth then I'm guessing they can help us."

Fortunately, I had decided to take the test tube and the cure with me.

I looked around "We need to get to the BRIDGE OF LOVERS," I said remembering the instructions the labyrinth had given. I had found with the key I had hidden the bag. The streets were empty. The once busy city of Paris had been reduced to something like a quiet backwater. It still had people and I saw what looked like a policeman on a bicycle coming towards me. He started talking to us and pointing.

"What's he saying ?" countiessaid Sam.

"I don't know. Normally in films when someone speaks in a foreign language then subtitles appear. I thought that's what happened in real life in countries."  said Harvey

I must say this was something that had always troubled me. In all these films you see the hero aways has a good grasp of the local dialect and speaks fluently in whatever language the locals use. Once had an imaged all these heroes and heroines in school, behind tables mussels flexing and doing "Hello how are you?" in Thai.

One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy turns to When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-interntional-british-archeologist-of-mystery girl and says.

"Why do we have to learn all these ***** languages. Like when am I ever going to need a working knowledge of Swahili?"

When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl turns to him and goes "Well not only do I have to learn Swahili like you but I also have to learn ancient latin, ancient greek, Sumerian and Coptic Egyptian both upper and lower Niles. At least you stand a chance of ending up somewhere when it might be useful. Me on the other hand. Like when I am going to face someone who's only language is a forgotten dialect last spoken by an Egyptian who died five thousand years ago and has no grasp of any other language? Like never."

One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy is already over competitive goes "Seriously? Like when am I going to need to speak Thai in a hurry?"

"Well,british" says The now irritated When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery "perhaps you will one day be escaping you arch enemy and he tricks you and the girl you randomly picked up into leaving on a plane which was expected to be flying from Japan to India. On that flight the pilots jump out setting self-destruction system. Your jump from the plane, after the pilot but you don't have a parachute. You managed to punch the free falling pilot take his parachute harness and just manage to put it on open it all in the 40 seconds of free fall before hitting the tree canopy in Thai land."

One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy "see and so I need to speak Thai because?"

"Just as you get out of the tree a little boy turns up and says "Ŵā w p̄hū̂ x̀ān thī̀ ǹā s̄ngs̄ạy k̄hxng khuṇ khuṇ khid ẁā reā ca mị̀ s̄ı̀ khả pæl doytrng lng nı bı s̄enx rākhā dīc̄hạn thậng tkcı læa h̄wād klạw thī̀ khuṇ mị̀ cheụ̄̀xt̄hụ̄x reā māk phxthī̀ khuṇ t̂xng h̄ı̂ næ̀cı ẁā reā mī kār pæl thī̀ t̄hūk t̂xng thậng thī̀ pĕn suppexr̒ ḥīrò h̄rụ̄x xarị bāng xỳāng" in Thai which means 'hey mister that evil looking man took that unwilling girl who I think is your girl friend and jumped on a bike towards that spooky old temple which has been surrounded by mysterious/sinister armed guards for months. She look scared'. You on the other hand think he's talking about the impact of the Sykes–Picot agreement the development of the post first world war Middle East.

"Why would he be saying something dumb like that?" Says One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy.

"Because" starts When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl "he's doing his homework... For...him..self"

"I told you," said One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy "I was doing double bomb diffusion."

"double bomb diffusion, double bomb diffusion," says When-I-grow-up-Iinternational-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl. "what's so difficult about defusing a bomb you need to do it twice? You wait until the last five seconds and then cut the red wire."

"What if your bomb is made by a mad bomb making genius you used to work with?" said One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy.

"You still cut the red one" said When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl. "because he knows you know so by leaving rather than switching it in the original order you will cause the bomb to explode."

"Huh" said One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy.

"What get's me" starts When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl "is why they bother to put a visible timer on it at all. If I was ever building a bomb I would leave off the visible timer and just use a watch or my phone app or something."

"Why don't you go down the road to the International school of Evil and ask them," says One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy. "that it isn't it that's what this is all about isn't it. My politely dancing with Miss I'm-beautful-and-evil-but-you-can-seduce-me-to-the-good side from the School of Evil at the joint School Disco.

"You are by far the most annoying human being on this planet," says When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl. She kisses One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy on the lips and says "I hope this doomed relationship won't badly affect my future ability to have relationships leaving a dark brooding hole in my soul only filled with flitting, quips, and extreme sports."

"So Miss When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl" says the teacher coming towards them. "If small child runs out of the jungle and says. 'พ่อแม่ของฉันถูกฆ่าโดยมนุษย์ในหน้ากากป้องกันแก๊สคุณสามารถฆ่าพวกเขาสำหรับฉันได้หรือไม่?' * What would you say?"

"I would say sure your welcome," says When-I-grow-up-I-will-be-an-international-British-archeologist-of-mystery girl.

"And you Mr One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy." the teacher says.

"I would say, 'Well the forces acting in the middle east at the end of the first world war were many and complex'." starts One-day-I-am-going-to-be-a-spy-on-mission-impossible boy..

"Hey Katelyn," Sam said to me.

I looked at Sam "Sorry I zoned out a bit" I said.

"Though the universal medium of waving my arms and going ug" I've discovered the Bridge of Lover's Locks is this way"

"Let's go," I said.

****

*My parents were killed by men in gas masks can you please kill them for me?