His gaze slides down my body. Closing his laptop, he sinks deeper into his chair and takes a generous swig from the glass. âYou shouldnât have come,â he says, his voice a rasp.
âYouâre a fucking asshole.â
He doesnât even try to defend himself. He just stares at me with a foreign expression, his lips drawn into a line, and his eyes dimmed.
âWhat the hell was that, Giorgio?â I demand, growing more and more irritated by his silence with each passing second. âI thought you sounded worried about me on the phone, but clearly, I must have been confused, what with being on the run for my life and all that. I can see now you donât give a damn.â
His nostrils flare with an exhale. âYouâre angry right now, but donât you dare imply for one fucking second that I donât care about you. The first real breath I took since you called me was after I saw you sitting in that living room, alive and unhurt.â
âHuh. So you decided to hurt me yourself, is that right? Did you look at me and think, âshe can take itâ?â
He takes another sip of his drink. Another deep breath. âThere was no other option. In a perfect world, we could say our goodbyes in private, but thatâs not the world we live in. What did you want me to do? Kiss you in front of your brother? Take you into my arms? You know I canât do that, Mari. There was no other choice.â
I give my head an indignant shake. âWhy are you so afraid of my brother finding out about us anyway? I know that when he asked you to take me, he probably didnât envision us sleeping with each other, but so what? Life happens. Shit happens. You didnât force me into anything. I wanted to be with you.â
He huffs a laugh. âThat is not how heâll see it.â
I clench my fists. âYou assume my brother thinks I canât make my own decisions.â
His eyes narrow with frustration. âYouâre nineteen, Martina. Iâm thirty-three andââ
âWho cares! Weâre the Casalesi, Giorgio! Look at any clan marriage in the past five decades, and youâd be hard pressed to find one where the age difference isnât that or worse.â
âAnd what do you think your future husband will say when he finds out youâre not a virgin?â
My jaw drops. âNothing. The man I marry better not give a crap about things like that.â
âEvery time you open your mouth, you expose your naiveté.â He tosses back the rest of his glass and stands.
âWhat naiveté?â
âTell your brother youâre not a virgin and see how he reacts.â
âMy brother isnât like that. He doesnât respect the old way of doing things, because he knows the old ways are broken.â
For some reason, this makes him snarl. âYouâre blind, Martina, and youâre in for a rude awakening.â His eyes flick from my face down to my bare legs, and he grimaces like he knows itâs the last thing he should be looking at. âDe Rossi canât afford to disrespect the Casalesi traditions, his personal opinions notwithstanding. Do you even know what those traditions are? Or have you lived in total ignorance your whole life?â
When I donât answer right away, he scoffs.
âLet me enlighten you. The big families marry their sons and daughters into the other big families. The only exceptions that are accepted are those that cement powerful alliances outside the clan. De Rossiâs wife happens to be one of those.â
âI can guarantee you Dem wasnât thinking about that when he married Vale.â
âMaybe not, but it sure as hell was a fortuitous coincidence.â
âAnd what of your blood? Youâre the donâs son.â
His eyes narrow. âI will never claim him as my father. No, Iâll die a Girardi, not a Gallo.â
âEven if that last name is all youâd need to have me.â
âFuck. You still donât get it. Itâs not just the name, itâs . Your brother would never give you to me. Heâd get nothing in the deal. You are his only kin. Marrying you is the only way someone could become part of his family. Do you know how valuable you are to him?â
âDem would never force me into a marriage I donât want.â
âDe Rossi will do whatever he needs to do to secure his power.â He rakes his fingers through his hair. âEnough. This has gotten out of hand. We both knew this thing between us only existed inside the walls of the castello. No amount of arguing will change that.â
âYou act like Iâm the only one who wanted this,â I snap. âBut it was who stole my book. It was who kissed me. It was who kept me in your bed for days and told me how Iâm perfect, and tempting, and fucking everything!â
He shoots out of his chair. âOf course, I wanted it. I donât regret a moment of what happened between us, but now that weâre with your brother, itâs done.â
âYouâre scared. Youâre scared to admit to Dem how you really feel about me.â
He advances on me, stopping only when our faces are mere inches apart. âIâm not the kind of man your brother would ever pair you with. De Rossi is giving me something Iâve wanted for more than half of my life. I wonât do anything to jeopardize that.â
A crack appears in my heart. âWhat is it that you want?â Clearly, itâs not me.
âSal.â
My brows knit together. âDem will kill Sal whether you want him to or not. He has to in order to become the don.â
âIâve asked your brother to let me be the one to do it.â
My eyes widen. âBut your precious tradition says the man who kills the sitting don becomes the next don.â
âIt will be done in secret. As far as everyone is concerned, it will be De Rossi who did it. Do you get it now? Iâve managed to secure your brotherâs trust. Iâm not going to do anything to compromise that.â
When the dots connect, air empties out of my lungs.
Giorgioâs choosing revenge over me. Revenge for the woman who gave him life only to take parts of it away.
Revenge for a ghost.
His chest rises with heavy breaths. âI burned it, Mari. The cottage. After I buried Tommaso and Allegra, I burned it down. Thereâs only one more thing left for me to do, and Iâll be free. Iâm doing this for my mother. And for you.â
I swallow down a sob and meet his eyes. âYouâre doing this for me. I donât fucking want your vengeance. And youâre already free. Youâre just choosing not to see it.â
His expression wavers. âMariâ¦â
I whirl around and walk out of that damned room.
When I wake up the following morning, getting out of bed feels like the hardest thing in the entire world, so I donât. I tell Vale Iâm going to skip breakfast when she comes to collect Sophia for her walk, and then I fall back asleep.
Itâs my bladder that finally forces me to consider leaving my warm cocoon. My head slides out from under the duvet, and not a moment later, a wet tongue meets my cheek.
âSomeone feels better,â I say, giving Sophia a rub. She laps at my face, and I laugh. âYour breath smells, girl. Iâve got to get you some doggy toothpaste.â
She cocks her head to the side, probably wondering what an earth Iâm blabbering about.
The conversation with Giorgio last night scratches at the edges of my consciousness, but I donât want to think about it. Whatâs the point? Heâs made himself clear.
I trudge to the bathroom. In the mirror, I examine my bruises. There are a few peppered over my legs and torso, but theyâre not painful unless I press on them. I wash my hair, blow-dry it, put some light makeup on, and venture downstairs.
I find Vale and Dem in the kitchen. Theyâre standing by the island, but theyâre so absorbed with each other they donât hear me come in. My brother is holding his new wife in his arms, gazing lovingly at her face as she whispers something to him. He plants a soft kiss on her lips and smiles.
The sight of the two of them makes my chest warm, even if I feel like Iâm intruding on a private moment. Was my brother this happy when we were all in Ibiza? Probably. I was just too out of it to notice. Even their wedding is a blur. A bitter kind of longing slips under my skin. It hurts to be alone after knowing what itâs like to share yourself with someone.
Vale senses my presence and turns toward me. Her eyes widen, and she lets out an awkward laugh and slips out of my brotherâs arms. âYouâre up!â
I grin at them. âSorry for interrupting.â
Vale gives me a quick hug. âDonât be ridiculous. We were just talking about how we were going to drag you down to hang out with us if you didnât come out soon.â
Dem leans against the island, plucks a green apple from a big fruit bowl, and takes a crunchy bite. âWhere is that pup of yours?â
âResting in the bedroom. Also, sheâs Giorgioâs, not mine.â
Dem cracks a smile. âI think she likes you better.â
I am a bit surprised Sophia hasnât tried to go to Giorgio, but maybe she senses I need her more than he does right now.
âSo whatâs the plan for today?â
Finishing his apple, Dem tosses the core into the garbage and wipes his hands on a towel. âActually, thereâs something I wanted to talk to you about, Mari.â
Valentinaâs expression falls. âGive her time to settle in.â
Their eyes lock, and they stare at each other for a beat, engaged in silent conversation.
A sense of foreboding spreads through my lungs.
âBetter sooner than later,â Dem says finally.
âWhat is it?â I ask, volleying my gaze between the two of them.
Dem places his palm on my back. âCâmon. Weâll talk in my office.â
Once we make it inside, I perch myself on the arm of a chair in front of his desk while he sits down across from me.
He doesnât appear to be in any rush to say what heâs about to say, and his hesitation makes me nervous. My brotherâs a straight shooter, always has been.
He scratches his cheek. Bites on the corner of his lip.
âDem, youâre freaking me out,â I confess. âJust say it.â
He drops his palms on the desk and meets my gaze. âDo you recall meeting the Grassis?â
âWho?â
âTheyâre a family in the clan. You met them when you were⦠Well, about five or so.â
âYeah, my memory isnât good.â
He releases a tense chuckle. âRight. Well, I probably could have done a better job keeping you up to date on the big players in the clan, but it didnât seem all that relevant while we were in Ibiza. The Grassis have grown into one of the most powerful Casalesi families over the last decade. Their cement business is booming due to the connections theyâve been able to establish with the local government, and they also control some of the most profitable factories in the area. They make perfect replicas of merchandise from some of the top fashion houses. Their exports to America have made them a fortune that almost rivals our own.â
I listen attentively, knowing this is more than just a history lesson.
My brother picks up a pen and spins it between his fingers. âMost of the businesses are run by the patriarch, Emilio Grassi, but heâs started to slowly hand off various subdivisions to his eldest son, Matteo. Iâve met with the two of them a number of times over the past few weeks, and we see eye to eye. Theyâre ready to support me if I can provide them with some kind of guarantee they will have an important place in the organization when I take over.â
âYour wordâs not good enough?â
âAs Giorgio recently pointed out, I appear to have a reputation problem,â he says dryly. âIâm a man of my word, but they donât know me well enough to know that.â
âSo what are you going to offer them?â
He twirls the pen again. âThey made a suggestion I want to run by you.â
I snort. âIâm hardly qualified to advise you on these kinds of things. Vale would be far better at it.â
âOh, Valeâs given me her opinion. Iâm going against it by talking to you right now.â
The notch between my brows deepens. âOkay⦠Well, what is it, Dem?â
âThey suggested a marriage. Between you and Matteo.â
My stomach hollows out.
Last night, when I was telling him Dem would never force me into a marriage, he knew thatâs exactly what my brother was about to do.
âI donât have a choice, do I?â I breathe deeply as the room spins around me. âItâs settled already.â
His forehead creases. âWhat? No, of course not. I told him Iâd consider his offer, but that the choice will be yours.â
The spinning slows. âIs that true?â
âI wouldnât lie to you about this, Mari,â he says, his voice softening. âYou know that you and Vale are the most important things in my life, right?â
I swallow. âYeah.â
âIf this path meant sacrificing your happiness, I wouldnât do it,â he says, his voice ringing with conviction. âBut I truly think our lives will be better once Iâm in power. You will be safer. We wonât be tormented by Sal anymore. We can live in Casal, our hometown, where our family has a deep and meaningful history. Iâm doing this for the future of our familyâone that I hope to grow with Vale one day. I donât want our kids to grow up with the constant threat that you and I had looming over us.â
The thought of my future nieces and nephews getting kidnapped or seeing their friends get killed makes a heavy weight appear in my stomach. âI donât want that either.â
Dem sighs. âI want to rule this clan because I believe I can lead it to greatness. This organization is already strong, but I can make it even stronger. Our father had a vision for the clan that he shared with me. He told me the Casalesi could be the fabric Italy is built on. We can thread through every organization of consequence in the country, from the lower-level federal agencies to the rooms that house members of our parliament. We can be ubiquitous. Our power unfettered. We can rule from the shadows, but we will be so rich and happy that we will have no desire to stand in the light. I want to honor him by bringing his vision to life.â
His words move me. I donât have any memories of our parents. They died when I was too young. But Demâs told me stories, and when he speaks about them, itâs obvious he loved and respected them very much.
âI know this marriage proposal is a lot to take in. This kind of an arrangement is common in the clan, but weâve rarely talked about it,â he says.
âAll this time, we lived in a different world, didnât we?â
âIn many ways, we did.â He runs his fingers through his hair. âI despised the isolation, but there were benefits to it as well. You were able to live a relatively normal life on Ibiza. And now thatâs over.â He gives a shake of his head.
The hint of regret in his voice makes me sit up straighter. I shouldnât have listened to Giorgioâs cynical words. I know my brother better than he does.
Demâs always put me first.
Heâs leaving this choice to me.
âIf youâre feeling guilty, donât,â I say. âYou stayed on the sidelines for years to keep me safe. Youâve done everything for me, Dem. Now, I want to see you become don.â
I mean it with all my heart. My brother deserves to win this war, and if thereâs anything I can do to help him, I have to consider it.
Smoothing my palms over my jeans, I meet his gaze. âTell me a bit more about Matteo.â
Dem clenches his jaw and then pulls open a drawer and takes a folio out of it. He hands it to me. âHereâs his file.â
I open it, and the first thing I see is Matteoâs photo. Heâs younger than Giorgio, looks like he might be in his mid-twenties. Handsome in a forgettable kind of way. Thereâs nothing about his face that stands out. Nothing that makes anything inside of me stir.
There isnât even a hint of what I feel when I look at Giorgio.
God, why am I thinking about him?
Giorgio knew about this. He knew my brother had a marriage proposal for me, and he made peace with it by all accounts.
He chose revenge over me.
Now, I need to make my own peace with everything too. There may never be another man who makes me feel like Giorgio does. What we had was specialâa lightning strike to the heart. But I canât expect lightning to strike twice.
The backs of my eyes prickle as I turn to the next pageâMatteoâs biography. I scan it, forgetting what I read as soon as I get to the next word. It doesnât matter whatâs written there.
âWhat do you think of him?â I ask my brother.
âBy all accounts, he seems like a fair and reasonable man. I had Ras talk to just about everyone whoâs ever dealt with him, and no one raised any red flags. Thereâs nothing in his past that suggests he would mistreat you. And if he ever did, I would cut off his balls and stuff them down his throat.â
I snap my gaze off the page. âJesus.â
Dem shrugs. âItâs the truth. And you donât need to decide right away. I know itâs a lot to think about.â
Valeâs words from yesterday come back to me. I could have a role to play in my brotherâs empire if Iâm brave enough to take it.
Is that what I want?
My brother isnât a businessman, no matter how well he plays that role.
Dem is a criminal. And so was my father. And my mother. My grandparents. Most of my extended family as far back as anyone can remember.
On Ibiza, I thought I could be something else, but doing that would mean leaving Dem behind.
I donât want to leave my brother. Whoever he is, heâs my only family, and I love him.
And if Demâs taught me anything, itâs that love is sacrifice. Heâs made many sacrifices for me without a single complaint. Without ever making me feel like a burden.
Itâs my turn to do the same now.
I close the folder and put it down on his desk. Our eyes meet.
âIâll marry Matteo.â