*****
And afterwards, as we lie together, naked in the half-light, he says, âI have something for you if you will accept it.â
He seems a little uncertain as he produces a small satin bag from a side-drawer, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it to find a narrow, black velvet choker, with a dewdrop pearl suspended.
âWill you accept it?â he asks, a trace of anxiety in his voice. âWill you wear it?â
Am I being collared?
I think I amâ¦.
I finger it, rolling the pearl in my fingers; so small and delicate a thing, and yet, so laden with significance.
âYou understand what you are asking of me?â I say. âWhen you give me something like this? When you ask me to wear it?â
âYes, I understand,â he says. âAnd yes, I am asking that you wear it for me. Will you do that?â
His voice brims with hope and worry; desire and unease. âAm I asking too much of you? Or too quickly?â
The pearl, opalescent with pale, swirling, beautiful colours, sits between my fingers.
Is this too soon?
No, I want this tooâ¦.
âNo, I donât think you are. Itâs just that no-one before has ever wanted me like thisâ¦.â
âI want you like this. Isnât that enough?â
Unravelling the velvet, I place it around my neck, fumbling with the catch at the back.
âHere, let me,â he whispers, reaching behind me to clip it closed. And as it fastens he kisses the soft skin at the nape of my neck. âThank you, Kirstie.â
He strokes my cheek, the line of my jaw and down to my neck where he has just placed his mark on me, his ownership.
We lie together, entwined, his arms around me, he lazily stroking me. After a long while, he speaks again.
âKirstie, Iâm sorry, I know I shouldnât, but I have to ask you thisâ¦. Are you still seeing anyone else? I know when we met that you were. And because of the way that we met, I donât really have the right to ask you the question, butâ¦.â
I twist in his embrace to meet his eye. âNo, Iâm not. Not anymore. There was someone, but, he wasnât right andâ¦. I donât even want to now. I used to go to the clubs a lot, but now I simply want to be with you.â
âThe clubs? What clubs?â
Me and my big mouthâ¦.
âOh, erâ¦. I used to go to clubs a lot for, erâ¦.â I chew my words, wondering how much I can say.
Youâve finally found someone you want to be withâ¦.
Donât fuck it upâ¦.
âKirstie? Talk to me. What are these clubs?â
âTheyâre er, sex clubs. I used to go a lot before I met you.â
He stares at me. My stomach clenches.
Oh, God. Have I spoiled everything?
Then he smiles. âYou used to go to sex clubs, but you donât anymore? Because of me?â
âMmm, yes⦠because of you.â
He kisses me. âThank you for telling me this. I have been worryingâ¦.â
You were worrying?
ââ¦. that sex is important enough for you and me to have met in the first place, but that perhaps I could notâ¦. be enoughâ¦. for you.â
My heart skips a beat. âRyan, you are âenough for meâ. I love what you do to me, what we do together.
You have me thinking of you all the time.â
He pulls me to him again and kisses me. The kiss is hard, penetrating and possessive; and it sets my heart pounding again. Then he pulls back.
âThese clubs, you went often? You have friends there? You would like to go again, but with me?â
âI would love to do that, but only if youâre comfortable with it. Thereâs something about the atmosphere, watching people being good togetherâ¦. Butâ¦.â and my words stall again.
âButâ¦.?â
ââ¦.. but, you realise that you would be meetingâ¦.â
He finishes my sentence. ââ¦. I would be meeting men you have had sex with? Yes, I realise that. What I also realise is that they will see you with me, and know that while they had you for an hour, with me, you have stayed. They couldnât keep you, but I did.â
*****
From my seat at in the lobby, with little to do right now except sit here and look alert, I gaze out of the panoramic front windows.
The elevators doors hiss and open, to produce Charlotte. As she walks by, she nods across the room to me, a little frostily, âKirstie.â
âMrs Summerford.â
Guess itâs going to be a while before weâre friends againâ¦.
She exits and turns off down the street, but as she does so, from the cafeteria door across the road, I see Ben emerge, clearly making straight for her. His face is distorted with anger and he is marching across with clear âintentâ.
Under the counter, with my fist, I slam the panic button hard, which should call Security immediately and with urgency.
I can see the two outside. Ben has caught up with her. Charlotte is trying to walk on, past him, but he is blocking her path, shouting, almost screaming at her. His raised voice carries even through the glass doors of the building as he blasts with both barrels at her. I canât make out his words, but his tone is frightening. She ought to be intimidated, but she isnât. Even from here I can see her reaction. Sheâs not scared of him.
James said sheâs tough.
Seconds have passed, but it feels like much longerâ¦.
Jeezâ¦. should I call in more help?
I jab at the buttons on my com. âFrancis, itâs Kirstie in the lobby. Ben Summerford is outside, ranting at Charlotte. Itâs not looking good. Heâs looking really threatening towards her. Iâve called Security, but can you please tell Mr Alexanders to get down here right nowâ¦. And do you have the contact for his friend Michael? Can you call him, please. Tell him heâs needed here as soon as possible.â
After the briefest of pausesâ¦. âJames is on his way.â
Ben is red, almost purple-faced, raging incoherently at Charlotte. Heâs standing close, really close; well within the personal space that most people carry around with them. And his body languageâ¦.
Is he going to hit her?
It really does look as though itâs turning violent. I stab at the con again. âSecurity. Speed it up to the lobby, please. Youâre needed here pronto.â
The elevator doors open: itâs James, looking angrier than Iâve seen him. I simply point outside to where the row between Ben and Charlotte has reached Def Con One. His fists are balled as he strides out.
Outside, Ben, although not a particularly tall man, is looking over Charlotte, almost looming over her.
Everything about him screams violence.
He shoves at her, a palm flat on her chestâ¦.
He is going to hit herâ¦.