Chapter 19 - Break Down The Walls
It had been two weeks since we had had dinner at Jasper's parents place and it went great. His family were incredibly wonderful, his father had me choking on my own breath with his insulting humour aimed at my boyfriend.
My boyfriend.
It sounded so unfamiliar and foreign to call my boss my boyfriend.
"What are you deep in thought about?" He asked, staring at me strangely whilst he drove back to my place after work had ended.
"I'm not," I smiled as he rolled his eyes. "Want to come in?"
"Yeah, I need to make sure you're safe before I leave you. I hate that you're on your own, Scarlett," he frowned.
"I'm fine, Jasper, I enjoy the solitude sometimes," I shrugged, getting out of the car and unlocking the front door.
"Are you going somewhere?" He quizzed as I followed his gaze to the tiny suitcase sat near the porch.
"Oh, that's Melissa's, she must have forgotten to take it with her."
"I thought she was supposed to be holiday with that hippie boyfriend of hers?" He asked confusedly.
Smiling at how cute the confused look on his face was, I sat him down and told him what had happened with my best friend and her jerk of an ex-boyfriend.
"God," he muttered. "I always assumed it was only my sisters who couldn't choose their men wisely."
Thinking about it, I wasn't sure that my decision about Jasper was any better than those of his sister's or Melissa's, after all he had built quite a reputation with regards to the amount of women he had been with.
Was I just one of his conquests that he would toss to the side once he was done?
My stomach felt uneasy as I tried not to think about it.
"Seriously, what is the matter with you?" Jasper asked, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Nothing, I told you."
"Something has been bothering you since we came back, what is it?"
"It's nothing, Jasper, would you stop worrying so much?" I asked teasingly. "Now, go home, some of us still have a job we'd like to keep."
Jasper and I had discussed that there was no way I was going to quit work much to his annoyance but, thankfully, he relented possibly due to his inappropriate 'consolation prize' as he called it.
"Are you throwing me out?" He asked in amusement, a slight smirk forming on his lips.
"Maybe," I shrugged nonchalantly as he stood up.
"Lucky for you, I will oblige this once as I have something very important to prepare for tomorrow," he said, his smirk growing even bigger.
"What might that be exactly?"
"Just something important," he said, brushing my bangs away from my face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Scarlett."
"Bye, Jasper," I said, smiling.
"Bye, babe, sleep tight." he winked before pressing his lips to my forehead as he left.
Grinning like an idiot, I closed the door behind me before I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, changed into my PJs and jumped in to bed as my mind wondered back to my insecurity.
There was not a doubt in my mind that Jasper would tire of me in the not so distance future, I mean, for God's sake I was still a virgin and him, well, he wasn't. I knew Jasper like the back of my hand and I certainly knew he was not well accustomed with the concept of patience. Although I would have preferred to remain celibate till marriage, I knew deep down that the real reason was because the thought of having someone able to see all of me - scars and all - disgusted me as it would them.
Groaning, I desperately tried to think of something else before I drove myself insane.
***
A few weeks later, I arrived at work before Jasper as normal. It wasn't that I was ashamed of my relationship with Jasper, I just didn't want people to think I was earning any special favours just because I was dating him.
Several minutes later, as I was finishing up Jasper's schedule for the week, my phone started ringing.
Speak of the devil.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Good morning, Scarlett," he replied huskily.
"And why are we not at work today, Boss?"
"Is somebody missing me?" He teased, chuckling before sobering up. "Something came up. I'll be there in a short while."
Although I wanted to know what he was doing out of genuine interest, I opted out of prying as I didn't want to creep my boyfriend/boss out.
"Don't worry Miss Valentina, I'll be there quicker than you can moan my name," he snickered as I blushed.
"Jasper!"
"Scarlett!" He mimicked annoyingly.
"Goodbye, Mr Queen," I laughed, ending the call, before turning my attention to my laptop although emails and spreadsheets were the last thing on my mind.
Several minutes later, I had finally finished printing out the documents and proceeded towards Jasper's office to leave them on his desk.
Just as I had put them down, the door opened slowly with Jasper walking inside closing the door behind him.
"Eager, are we?" He teased, smirking.
God, he looked so incredibly sexy in his sharp Gucci suit with his effortlessly styled hair and sparkly green-blue eyes â how did I manage to get so lucky?
"Very," I retorted, rolling my eyes feeling the heat of his intense gaze.
"I hate it when you do that." He snapped irritably as I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"Do what?"
"You look away from me every time I look at you for more than five seconds, it pisses me off."
"I don't," I mumbled, fully aware that I was lying. In fact, I hated when he looked at me as every time he looked at me, it reminded me that we would never work out for more reasons than I had fingers to count them on.
"What is the matter with you?" He asked in frustration, running his hands through his hair.
"Noth-"
"Don't. Don't tell me 'nothing'." He interrupted, glaring at me. "You've been off for almost more than a week now, and I demand to know what the problem is."
"There is no problem," I murmured, adjusting his slightly wayward tie as he clasped his hands over mine.
"What is going on in that mind of yours?" He murmured, staring intensely as I forced myself to keep my gaze on his.
He lowered his lips slowly towards mine as he caressed the side of my face tenderly, sending my heartbeat racing.
"Mr Queen?" Came a muffled voice from outside as I jerked away from Jasper, moving towards a cabinet which was at the back of his office.
He cleared his throat before resuming his seat at his desk.
"Come in!" He bellowed deeply.
Whoever this was they were in trouble, because Jasper was pissed.
"Mr Queen, there is a client here to see you," Christine told him quickly. "He came by Scarlett's office but she wasn't there so -"
"It's fine." Jasper interrupted, stoically. "Send him in."
"Of course," she replied, closing the door behind her.
"I should go," I mumbled stupidly, my tears threatening to rush out as I tried not to let my emotions get the better of me.
"Scarlett -"
"I'll see you later." I cut him off, quickly racing out of his office.
I sat myself down on the seat in my office and cried. I hadn't cried like this since the first time my father shut out his emotions.
I didn't want to be like him.
I didn't want to be like her.
I didn't want to burden Jasper with my endless collection of baggage.
I didn't know what to do about it either.
I trusted Jasper more than anyone in the world and there was no denying we liked each other, perhaps me more than him, but we both definitely had feelings for each other so why couldn't I let him in?
Jasper was the most arrogant, insanely sexy, infuriating yet the most amazing, genuine man I had ever met and I couldn't be the one to give him what he wants.
This isn't fair on him, I thought boldly. He deserved to know everything and then he could decide where he wishes to stand in this relationship.
He deserved to know my fears, my daddy issues and the pain I so desperately wished I didn't have to feel.
Tonight, I was going to let him in.
G0Ï<