"Let go!"
"No!"
" Sweet mother of Theresa you have a strong grip!"
My grip tightens around the headboard of my bed as I hold on for dear life. Emily keeps pulling me by the ankle but luckily for me the headbrod is build into the wall. I guess it's to prevent students from moving around the furniture in the dorm. At least I can use it to my advantage now.
" You've been in bed all day!" Emily exclaims.
" Leave. Me. Alone!" I cry out.
Emily's grip around my ankle suddenly loosens as she falls onto her behind with an umph sound. Ouch.
I sigh as I climb further into my bed and throw the covers over my head. I'm not leaving this bed until I feel it's absolutely necessary. Which it's not at the moment.
After Tyler's pleasant visit this morning and my lovely cry session I got my period. It made sense why I was so over emotional these last few hours. I don't usually cry so when I discovered that Red Riding Hood payed me a visit it made much more sense.
The room is still a mess. I haven't gotten the energy to clean it once my head hit the pillow. I'm hungover, I'm emotional and I'm on my period. Good luck with getting anything out of me for the next few days.
" Ally you basically look like the human version of death itself. At least eat something." This time Emily's voice is laced with concern.
" No I'm nauseous." I argue.
Emily opens a bag of chips and pushes it into my face. I move away only for her to climb on top of me and straddle me so that I can't escape from her grip.
" Emily get off! "
She doesn't listen as she reaches into the bag of chips and retracts her hand which is now filled up with chips. Without a warning she pushes the chips againsts my lips making some of it enter my mouth. I try and free myself from her hold but she only forces more chips into my mouth. I feel sorry for her future kids.
" Much better." Emily smiles as she gets off me and cleans her hands.
She's crazy. Time to move!
" Sleep with one eye open." I threaten as I turn my back towards her.
I hear Emily shuffle around before she starts talking on the phone. Well I hope she's talking on the phone and not to the wall. I don't hear what's she's saying as I start to drift off into a deep sleep. Finally.
***
" Have you tried feeding her?"
" Yes."
" You tried to talk to her?"
" No, I fucking sang a song to her you idiot."
I slowly open my one eye and see Emily and Ashton standing beside my bed. Oh and they brought the dog. They should really return Gabby's dog.
" I wonder what's wrong with her? "
" Me too. She's been like this ever since I got back this morning. Zac mentioned something about Tyler showing up here. Maybe something happened? " Emily shrugs.
" If you guys don't quit talking about me like I'm not here something will happen to you. " I mutter as I rub my eyes.
Emily narrows her eyes at me as she looks me up and down. I feel like a science experiment at this given moment. Ignoring Emily I unwrap myself from the blankets and get out of the bed.
" She's getting up. " Emily whispers loudly to Ashton.
I don't react as I walk over to my wardrobe and start searching for a fresh pair of pj's. I need to do some laundry at some point. Nah I'll just pay our neighbor to do it again. No judgement. Finally having a hold on a clean pair of pj's I walk over to the en-suite.
" I think she's going to take a shower." I hear Emily whisper again.
I sigh and decide to not say anything at all. I climb into the shower and let the heated water run down my back. A shower a day keeps the stress at bay. That literally makes no sense but somehow I know what it means.
I feel my shoulders relax under the boiling water. I know boiling hot water isn't good for you but it's the only thing that wakes me up. Even if it's like 5 in the afternoon. Finishing up my shower I quickly get dressed and brush my teeth. I do my every day skin care routine before walking out of the bathroom and towards my bed. At least I don't smell like death anymore.
" Oh no you're not." Emily quickly says as she pulls me away from my bed.
Not this again. I literally have no energy to fight off this girl.
" We're gonna talk now." Emily demands.
" Ashton -"
" He went to pick up food with Twinkle." Emily cuts me off and pulls me over to the bed. I was just on my way over to my bed but I got stopped by Emily and now I'm pulled back to my bed? This just sounds like a lazy excuse for exercise.
" I already told you I don't want to talk. " I whine as I lay my head down on her shoulder.
" Do you want me to call Tyler and ask him to come explain what happened?" she threatens.
As fast as my head hit her shlouder it shoots up again.
" You wouldn't dare. " I glare.
" You bet your unicorns I will." she smirks.
This girl and her obsession with unicorns. It's going to be the slow and painful death of me.
" He accused me of sleeping with Zac and then told me he expected me to have higher standards. " I finally admit.
I don't even know why I'm so upset over what he said. I've been called a lot worse in these past few months. Usually when people call me out on things like this I just laugh it off but something about Tyler just triggered something inside of me. He made me cry for God's sake. The Notebook didn't even make me cry. I need to get my emotions under control. I want to be the girl I was before life forced me into the wrong direction but I don't want to be weak and pathetic as she was. I've seen too many things to cry over a stupid boy that insulted me. I need to get a grip.
" He's a dick." Emily rolls her eyes.
" Something like that." I chuckle.
I lay my head back down on her shoulder as she starts telling me about all her master plans to get back at Gabby. I tried to remind her that she's 19 and not a kid anymore but she quickly brushes it off. As she explains her hands move along furiously. I notice a bruise on her wrist. Without thinking I grab the said wrist and turn it over. I see an almost purple looking bruise on her wrist. It looks like finger marks. The person had to have a strong grip for their fingers to leave such a bruise. Did someone hurt her?
Emily quickly retracts her arm when she notices what I'm looking at.
" I get nervous and I tend to squeeze my wrist out of habit." she answers before I can even ask.
I quirk my eyebrow. I don't believe a word she's saying. There's no way in hell she could've hurt herself like that by accident.
" Those finger marks look bigger than your fingers Em. "
Before she can reply to my accusation the door opens and in comes Ashton and Twinkle. I remembered the dog's name. I'm proud of myself.
" I brought Chinese." Ashton smiles as he lifts up a brown paper bag.
He better not be the one hurting Emily. He'll regret it as soon as he feels my foot kick him so high up in the ass that he chokes on it.
For the rest of the night we finish our food and talk about random things like college and childhood. Emily mentioned something about wanting us all to head out for a little getaway trip near the end of the semester to celebrate that we made it this far. It's still a few months away so it gives us time to plan everything out and for me to beg mom to go. It's kind of dumb. I'm 19 and I'm begging my mom to head out with friends.
Soon enough Ashton leaves with Twinkle and Emily and I pass out after stuffing our faces with more food.
***
There's so much blood. Everywhere I look all I can see is dark red liquid dripping from the walls. I yell for help but I can't even hear my own voice. I try to yell louder but not a single sound comes from my mouth. Why the hell is no one hearing me? I look over at the lifeless body that I'm holding in my arms and cry for help again. Nothing. Why is there so much blood? I try my best to let go of the body but it's too heavy. I can't get up. I yell for help again but my sobs blocks out the noise.
" Ally!"
Someone heard me. I yell louder but I don't get a response.
" Ally wake up!"
My eyes fly open as soon as I feel someone shake my shoulders. I'm panting by the time I see Emily's soaked cheeks. She's been crying?
" Oh thank God. " Emily sobs as she pulls me into her arms.
I feel liquid run down my cheeks. Lifting my hand to wipe the liquid I realize that I'm crying as well. The tears don't stop running down my face but I don't feel as if I'm crying. As I retract my hand I see it's still shivering. Emily continues to sob into my shoulder as I regain the ability to breath properly.
I had a nightmare about that night again.
I release a breath I didn't know I was holding in as I come to terms with the fact that the emotional barrier opened in my brain again allowing those nightmares to appear. Crap.
It's still dark outside which means it's still early in the morning. Emily lifts up her head from my shoulder as she too wipes her own tears.
" You were screaming so loud and begging for someone to h-help you and I didn't k-know what to do." Emily sniffs.
I feel bad for waking her up. I remeber the first time mom had to wake me up. She was acting the same way Emily is acting now. That's when mom started sending me off to therapy because she didn't know what to do with me.
" I'm sorry. " I whisper as I climb out of the bed.
I walk over to where my phone is charging and scroll down my list of contacts till I find mom's contact. I press the call icon and wait patiently for mom to answer. Hopefully she does as it is still pretty early.
After a few rings mom's hoarse voice greets me.
" Hey mom. Sorry I'm calling so late." I apologize. It's the least I can do.
" I'm not going to bail-"
" I had another nightmare." I cut her off before she could even finish her sentance. Like always she jumps to conclusions.
The line is silent for a while before mom clears her throat and sighs.
" Are you still on your pills? " she questions.
In the beginning of my first few sessions with a therapist she prescribed different types of medication to help calm the night terrors. Prazosin was the only thing that limited the nightmares. After using it the nightmares didn't come every night and only made their appearance rarely. After not having a night terror for a few months I stopped using them because I thought I was past the whole thing. Guess I spoke too soon.
" No. I left them at the house." I answer truthfully.
Mom sighs in disappointment. I know it's killing her that she can't do anything to help me. It's every mother's nightmare to watch their child go through so much pain and can't do a single thing about it.
" It's the only thing that's going to help you Allison." mom argues.
" I know mom." I sigh.
" You'll just have to come up here and fetch them."
Prazison is a prescribed medication so it isn't possible for me to just buy it over the counter. I don't have any other choice but to go back home and fetch them. That is if I want to continue having the nightmares, which I don't want to. I'm sure mom is satisfied to hear that I have a legitimate reason to come back home, even if it's just for a day or two.
" I'll come by later." I say. We bid our goodbyes and end the call.
Today's Thursday. I only have two classes today and one class tomorrow so I won't miss much if I leave today and come back somewhere over the weekend. Maybe it'll do me good to be out on the open road, gives me time to clear my thoughts and pull myself together. Even though I don't want to go back home I don't have much of a choice.
" You're leaving?" Emily asks after I ended the call.
I nod before going back to bed.
" I have a few things I need to do back home but I'll be back over the weekend." I try and force a small smile.
This is going to be a long few days.
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