Lucian had been so used to Celine's absence that her presence was now disturbing his routine, and his daily schedule. His efficiency and productivity plummeted.
Why would he reveal what he wanted to do to her just so she could go out of her way to prevent it from happening?
'Why couldn't I have done it the easy way? Act sweet and doting like she did? But no...I had to say I wanted to make her beg and cry, huh? What an idiot. Now, I'll never be able to get what I want. Well done, me.'
Lucian gritted his teeth and returned to the carriage. The cold bath in the lake didn't help him cool off, and he felt no better than before. In fact, he dreaded meeting her face-to-face again.
He couldn't bring himself to hurt her, but neither could he stand being toyed with.
The pain and the anguish that followed would eat away at him, and he was certain he'd regret his weakness and his mercy.
Celine had the upper hand. He let her walk all over him. It would only be a matter of time before she would have him completely under her control.
Like before.
And then, everything would end, and his already broken heart would shatter completely.
'Just give up. Let her win. Maybe this time, she'll really kill you, and it'll be all over. No more pain. No more suffering. You've had enough. It's time to end it. You're tired of the whole damn thing anyway. Let her do it. It'll save you the effort. Justâ'
'Just kill each other.'
Lucian froze and looked around, expecting to see someone there. But the carriage was empty, except for him.
'You'll never be free unless both of you are dead. Kill her, or she'll find another way to ruin your life.'
The inner voice sounded just like him, but somehow, he couldn't associate it with his own thoughts.
Lucian shook his head and tried to focus on the work in front of him, but the voice continued to speak, its words laced with anger, pain, and hate.
'It's alright. I understand. It's just like last time. You can't bear to see her suffer, right? And she knows it. That's why she keeps coming back. To make you feel sorry for her. To make you pity her and let her get away with her actions.â
"My Lord," the coachman called him, "Lady Rochefort wants to speak with you."
"Let her through," Lucian said and leaned back, throwing away the broken fountain pen, and watched the woman enter his carriage.
The door opened, and the woman herself appeared, her eyes were snooping around the carriage and then fell on him. He gestured at the seat opposite him, and she gracefully sat down.
"How may I help you, Lady Rochefort?" he asked.
She didn't say anything, the silence unsettling and uncomfortable. Then, she outstretched her hand towards him.
He looked at it, and then back at her.
"..."
"What?"
"Give it back."
Lucian raised his left brow, "Excuse me?"
"Repayment for the time I wasted on you," she explained, "The time I spent waiting. It wasn't free, you know? It's called emotional labor, and I deserve compensation."
"..." Lucian stared at her, dumbfounded, and then he burst out laughing.
Celine felt her cheeks heat up, and her fingers clenched. She didn't go this far for him just so she would give up on him that easily. He was hers, and he was going to stay hers, even if it meant taking him by force.
He didn't touch her hand, nor did he accept her demand. Instead, he asked, "So, how much is it? Your emotional labor," he clarified, "How much is it worth?"
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
"It's great you are asking. I have a list," Celine said and pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket, âYou shouldn't make me beg in public, I have a bad knee, so I might not be able to kneel properly, but I can declare my loyalty aloud. That will count, won't it?â
Lucian couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was a numbered list of things that needed to be compensated for.
Not only the time, but also her thoughts, her energy, and her feelings. From the small things she did, to the big, important events. It almost, almost, made him feel guilty. Almost.
"What about the things you did to me?" he asked.
"You can deduct your emotional labor from it," she said, and Lucian looked at her like she had lost her mind.
"I will think about it," he said and looked away, trying not to laugh again, "Anything else you want?"
Celine stared at him, his indifference, and his lack of reaction to her. She outstretched her hand towards him once more, and this time, her fingertips brushed against his hand.
He pulled it away, and the distance between them suddenly became bigger.
"Don't," he warned her, "Don't touch me like you are entitled to."
"Do you hate it?" she asked, trying to touch him again but he caught her wrist, keeping her at bay.
"I do."
"Why? Do you like some else?â she asked, âSomeone who isn't me?"
"..." Lucian avoided her gaze as she leaned closer, almost straddling his lap, "What is there to like about you?"
"My face?"
"Not attractive enough,â he said. He wasn't lying, the current scowl on her face did suit her at all.
"My body?"
"I've seen better."
"My skills? My status? My wealth? My connections?"
"I can do without."
She narrowed her eyes, her fingers twitching toward his neck, and her nails threatening to dig into his flesh.
He had to put more pressure on her wrists to keep her in place.
She was persistent, tilting her head forward, their noses almost touched when he dealt a finishing blow, "You are just not good enough, Celine."
He pushed her away, and she stumbled backwards, losing her balance and falling to the seat opposite him.
Celine froze. She looked at him with wide eyes and her lips slightly parted, surprised and confused.
"Do not touch me," Lucian said, his voice dangerously low, "Can't you tell I'm not interested?"
Celine's expression changed from surprise, to disappointment, and then, it crumbled, revealing the pain underneath, "Don't act like him, Lucian," she said, her voice stern, "It's not funny. I don't want another Crown Prince, I had enough. You are you, and not him, and that's the reason I'm here, sitting in front of you."
She was a great actress, getting under his skin, and making him doubt his own perception. Lucian didn't answer, and his silence became her cue. Her hand moved. She reached for him once more, and this time, he didn't pull away.
"Don't. Touch. Me," Lucian repeated in a whisper.
"Why not?" Celine asked quietly, "Don't you want me anymore?"
"What I want, and what is good for me, are two different things," he said, turning his head to the side, avoiding her gaze. Her other hand reached out, her fingers brushing his cheek, making him shudder, "Don't, Celine," he pleaded.
"It's just a hug. You are being overly dramatic," she said, seating herself on his lap. He let her, his arms limp by his sides, not resisting her, not pushing her away. He didn't do anything, didn't even look at her, just staring straight ahead.
She noticed how he flinched when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and she frowned, looking down and seeing him shaking, his body tense, and his hands fisted.
He was trembling, but it wasn't a pleasant shiver, it was something akin to fear, and pain.
She quickly let go, and he looked up at her, his eyes were a little wet, and his mouth was a thin line.
"Don't. Touch. Me," he repeated, "Nobody can hurt the person they love like that. Nobody can hit and beat the one they love so brutally, and mercilessly, and repeatedly. But, you do. You do, and you don't feel the slightest bit of regret, a shred of remorse, or an ounce of guilt."
Celine leaned back, sitting on his lap, looking down at her nails, "Oh, then return the favor. Show me what it feels like to be beaten and violated. Then we will finally be even. I didn't do that without expecting the same in return, you know? A relationship should be a fair trade. What goes around, comes around, doesn't it?"
Lucian chuckled, running his hand through his hair, messing it up, "That's the problem with you. You have no idea what it means to cherish and treasure another. To protect and safeguard. It's always give and take with you, always a price to pay, a bargain, and a deal."
Celine's eyes narrowed, "I have never gotten anything for free, not in my entire life. Everything has a price. I would think you would be able to appreciate that, given your background and upbringing. Your rise was anything but easy, or cheap, or free, Lucian."
He grabbed her waist, and yanked her toward him, causing her breath to get caught in her throat, "Do not compare me to yourself," he warned, his hand reaching toward the cannon in her belt, pointing the weapon at her chest, the muzzle digging into her ribs, and the gunpowder ready to be lit, "You and I, we are nothing alike."
"Then do it," she whispered, looking down at the loaded weapon, and then up at him, "Prove it."
The gunshot fired, and Celine's eyes widened, her heart skipped a beat, and she was frozen in place, staring at him. Her body wouldn't move, wouldn't budge, no matter how hard she tried.
She blinked and looked down. Her clothes were in one piece, and her body wasn't bleeding.
"I missed," Lucian said, slumping against her, "You were lucky. Next time, I won't."
His weight almost crushed her, her shirt soaking with his blood.
"My Lord?!"
"Lady Celine?!"
"MY LORD!!!"
"LADY CELINE!!!!"
The door burst open, and the guards rushed inside, only to find the man they were hired to fight for, lying on the woman they were hired to protect, both covered in blood, and neither was moving.
Celine's scream was the last thing they heard before she passed out, the sound of it haunting their nightmares.