CH 48 - Systems and How They Work

Break of Autumn, Week 2, Day 5

As I panted and tried not to throw up my breakfast, I remembered something Morloch had said.

Master your attributes.

With a heaving groan, I rolled onto the blanket and looked up at the sky.

“I don’t know what that means,” I muttered.

“What means?” Dame Arella asked as she sat down on the grass next to me.

“If someone told you to ‘master your attributes,’ would that mean anything to you?” As I spoke, I held up the book I’d snatched from the carriage, The System and You: The Basics of Growing Older.

Dame Arella hummed as she took a bite of a fruit. She chewed thoroughly before, finally, she swallowed. “Of course. It’s exactly what we’re doing.”

I closed my eyes and let the suns warm me up, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, I had to fight back a sigh.

“Explain more, please.”

“Well, think of it like growing taller. Just because you have the height advantage now, it doesn’t mean you suddenly know how to use it. It’s why multiple levels at once for higher rarity Classes can be debilitating if the experience is applied in a battle.”

Briefly, I thought back to when I first gained my levels —how incapable I’d been for the entirety of the day. How I’d destroyed a sofa and fell flat on my face. I sent a silent thank you to the maid, Maria, for taking care of me.

Dame Arella pulled the book from my hand, and I heard her flipping through it, “Ah, here it is. Mastering your attributes means practicing using them to their full potential. Vitality is the easiest to attune to yourself because it’s a natural process. Dexterity and Endurance are the worst because to train them, it’s repetitive actions pushing you to the brink.”

“Strength, Magic, and Perception are middling because it’s just adjusting to your new capabilities rather than training into them.”

As I listened to her explanation, I thought about how easy it was to use my Skills —how they barely took a thought. Would mastering my attributes make it even easier? Could I sustain them for longer? Would more Skills open up to me? Now, I had an aptitude for aberration and morphic Skills, whatever that meant.

I sat up and pulled up my Status to look at the final two attributes, “What about Luck and Divinity?”

Surely, there must be a way to know how I’ve changed. To know how close I am to the next threshold of Divinity.

Dame Arella shrugged, “They hardly change from Awakening, so it’s not something you need to worry about.”

I bit my lip to stifle a manic laugh and shot Dame Arella a look, “Okay. How long do you think we’ll be in town for?”

She shrugged again, “No longer than two days. Brambles are easy to locate once we know they are there. With a few hours for the eradication and collection of mana pearls, we can probably do two a day. So, by the day after tomorrow, we should be on our way.”

I nodded and closed my Status before laying back down.

The wind was cold, and it felt good against my sweat-laden skin. The warmth of the suns kept the chill at bay, and my eyes began to grow heavy. Right as sleep was about to overtake me, I slid my eyes open and glanced at Dame Arella. She looked comfortable lounging next to me.

“I’m going to nap now, okay?” I murmured.

“I’ll be here when you awake, my Lady,” Dame Arella said, amusement coloring her tone.

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And she was, but so was everyone else. Klein and Arlen looked like they would love nothing more than to nap themselves, but instead, Sir Limrick was forcing them to perform sword drills. Their faces were beet red, and I could see how their arms shook with every swing.

Despite Klein's usual surly behavior, I still found myself feeling a bit bad for him and Arlen. It was easier to feel bad for the golden-retriever-like boy that was Arlen, with his constant smiling and joking. Klein was different. His jokes were usually at another’s expense or not really jokes at all. But it wasn’t that he seemed to dislike me –it was more that Klein was inept at socialization.

Yet another way I felt connected to the red-haired boy.

It was admirable how hard the two boys worked. When Sir Limrick gave a command, it was never ‘Do we have to’ but ‘How far do we take it?’ They were passionate and dedicated, and that was where they lost me. Maybe I could have been earnest in my pursuit for power at one point, were I in elsewhere vying for corporate power, but now my desires were selfish. I couldn’t say I wanted them to do something good, not like joining a knighthood would be.

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No. I wanted personal power to leave this all behind. It was selfish. I could admit that.

Did I feel bad for that? I wondered. Did it matter that what I wanted was selfish? Ultimately, I decided it didn’t. So long as the power I cultivated was my own, I could do what I wanted. If I was selfish, who did it hurt? No one –well, no one but the Dawn’s.

That thought brought a smile to my face, and I sat back on my hands while Dame Arella handed me a sandwich.

“Thank you,” I said as I took an unflatteringly large bite. I was starving after running with the muscular woman. How she got by on a single fruit until now was beyond me.

As we sat, I pulled over the bottle that held heated water, as well as a glass, and gingerly poured myself some. While it settled, I grabbed the Cloudgazer from my back and popped the cork, pouring half the vial into the cup.

Almost immediately, the hot water turned a cloudy blue and began to steam. Above the meniscus, the steam coalesced into small clouds. They gathered around the rim of the glass –and one even sprouted a rainbow that reached to the other side of the rim. It was absolutely adorable and exactly what I had been hoping for.

A tentative sip brought with it the tickle of the clouds and the taste of blueberry tea.

Whenever Arlen and Klein took a break, I offered everyone some as well. Klein got a thunderstorm. It felt apt.

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We didn’t make our way back to the Village Head’s house until the suns were low in the sky, and the evening air was turning frigid.

I was reminded that we were just a few short weeks from the winter months. If anything held us up in the other towns, we might have to start worrying about snowstorms. I grimaced. I wasn’t sure if the temperature enchantments on the tents would hold up to extremes –but then again, the Dusk Knights were constantly in the wilderness. So, surely, their tents were more than capable of fending off winter’s chill? None of them had complained about the crisp air so far.

As Dame Arella led us back, I heard the sounds of children laughing –and Sir Limrick, traitor that he was, stopped us to see what was happening.

The man had a sly smile on his face as he waved to the group of three that were playing ball in the field. The knights were all in casual leathers, still purple but nowhere near as intimidating as the knights that had been wearing full plate. I wanted to hiss at Sir Limrick to stop, that if this was him socializing me –like I was still some damaged little girl he could –

“Hi,” came a small voice off to the side.

I turned and came face to face with a girl who was shorter than me. She had long blonde braids that looked similar to mine –if less intricate– and she was in a simple linen dress that made her look even smaller. She was fidgeting with something in her hands –a bracelet or charm or something.

“Hello,” I said gently, because children.

“Do you want to play with us? We’re about to start a new game,” Her eyes were wide, and I bit back my desire to run away. I looked at Sir Limrick’s smug face and Dame Arella’s expectant one, and I nodded reluctantly.

Immediately, the little girl’s face lit up, “Great! I’m Clara –what’s your name?”

I gripped Noir, deciding this would be a step away from my name. These children didn’t need to know I was of the Dawn. No one needed to know that but me, the knights, and the Village Head.

“I’m Nora. It’s nice to meet you.”

Clara reached out and grabbed my hand, tugging me to where the other children were playing with a ball, “Clarence! Phil! I brought us a new friend!”

I blinked at the toothy grins that met me, and one of the boys looked familiar –but I was sure I hadn’t actually met him before. His face just rang a bell.

“She’s dressed so fancy,” came the familiar-looking boy, his grin just as wide as the others, “Sure you’re up for playin’ ball?”

I briefly looked back at the four knights who were supposed to be protecting me but had instead decided to sell me out.

“I think I can keep up.”

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It wasn’t not fun, I decided, as I laid down in the grass. My head was in between Clara and her brother Clarence, with Phil on the other side of Clara. We were staring at the stars and giving names to constellations.

It was odd. To be doing something so clearly childish with actual children when I knew I wasn’t truly a child. But I felt little Eunora’s smile as I did so, and I couldn’t help but feel healed by it. Even if my heart stayed heavy, maybe I could lighten hers anyway. This world had taken so much from both me and little Eunora –both our lives. And now, it seemed to be giving back in different ways. Smaller ways. But they were meaningful.

A few minutes later, we all waved goodbye, and I was back at the Village Head’s house, getting ready for dinner and brushing dirt off my clothes. Somehow, Dame Arella didn’t mind when I was undignified when it came to ways like this.

I was starting to understand why she cared about the scar so much, though –Clarence had commented how it was cool, but Clara had yelped when she saw it. She told me she knew the apothecary would have something if my parents were willing to buy it for me. To a little girl, it should matter.

So, while I was getting freshened up, I decided to stop fighting Dame Arella and put on the first dose of the scar treatment. It burned, but it was significantly lighter after I’d used the elixir.

I came downstairs to Sir Rellar and the Village Head in a deep conversation, and Sir Rellar’s armor was scuffed and dirty. Even his usually shining head was matte with sweat and grime.

“You must have worked hard,” I commented as I took a seat at the table, a half smile on my face.

“Yes, my Lady, your Captain has cleared two brambles already! The last one is scheduled to be cleared tomorrow,” the Village Head said enthusiastically.

“Wonderful, great work, Sir Rellar,” I said, mildly uncomfortable with the intense stare of the two men, “Dame Arella was right on then. She said you would likely be ready to head out the day after tomorrow.”

Sir Rellar nodded, “Assuming everything goes as planned, there shouldn’t be anything we can’t handle.”

I nodded seriously, while internally I thought, Famous last words.

“Just come back safe, Sir Rellar. I want us all to get to Fellan together.” And I did. I wanted it more than I could really say.