WE WERE AT the doors when Yunhua stepped off the carriage, the Crown Prince assisting her. Once Yunhua was on the ground, she smiled at us.
We all knelt. "Your Highnesses."
"Please, stand." The Crown Prince took a few steps forward, Yunhua's hand still in his. "Father-in-law. Old Lady Shangguan."
We led them inside. Yunhua walked in the front with the Crown Prince and my uncle, so the rest of us stuck to the back. Besides me, Tianjin whispered, "Yunhua seems happy."
Coolly, Yunjun replied, "Even if she wasn't happy, she wouldn't let you know."
I shot them a glance, and both shut their mouths. We kept on walking until we'd reached the main house. The Crown Prince sat at the main seat along with Yunhua, while the rest of us took the others. Yunhua was of higher status than the rest of us now, even her father or Grandmother. She was the future Empress. We all had to kneel to her.
"It is great to see everyone in excellent spirits," Yunhua laughed. She was dressed in a beautiful purple silk robe that looked even more expensive than the clothes she wore in the Shangguan Manor.
"It is great to see you," Grandmother sighed, "happily married and settled."
"I could ask for no greater wife," the Crown Prince announced, glancing at her with a kind smile. "It is my eternal luck that I have married her."
"No," Yunhua gushed, "it is mine."
We all sat there for a little while, praising the Crown Prince and trying our best to make him happy, but then we split up. The woman headed to a separate house while the menâwhich consisted of only my uncle, the Crown Prince and Tianjin, stayed in the main house to discuss whatever it was men liked to discuss.
"How have you been?" I walked ahead with Yunhua, with Yunjun and Yunxuan entertaining Grandmother behind us.
"He's come to my house for two out of the three nights," she told me quietly. "First night was spent at mine, of course, the second at Luo Xueying, and yesterday at mine again."
"That is a good sign, no?"
"It means he's set his mind on spending his time equally between us without showing any bias. Which is the best situation I can imagine if he does not choose to be biassed to me, I suppose."
"Better neutral than biassed to Miss Luo."
"That is true. But I wanted to speak to you about something else." She turned her head, making sure the others were out of earshot. "Have you heard anything about Huo Murong?"
"Yunhua, it's truly best if you stay away from him now that you are married."
"I know, I know. The Emperor said he was sick when I visited him yesterday."
"Apparently the Imperial doctors have no idea what to do with him," I muttered back. "I think he's just upset. Give him some time."
Yunhua winced. "He's stubborn. He won't just give up like that and I'm afraid it'll cause him trouble. Can you try to find a way to talk to him? And give him this?"
From a small pocket she handed over a cloth bag, carefully embroidered. I received it, and it felt as if there was a piece of paper inside. I glanced at her, one brow raised. "A letter?"
"Telling him not to be upset over it and not to seek me out ever again."
"Yunhua, it will be difficult for me to find a private audience with him."
"Bring along your fiance if you must. I trust Duan shizi enough, I think."
I swallowed. "I'll try, Yunhua."
"Thank you." She sent me a grateful look. "I am very thankful for you, Minxi. I don't know if I've ever told you that."
"I don't think you have."
"Well, I'll tell you now."
Perhaps I was meant to be touched, but at that moment, the words felt like nothing more than an attempt to make sure I followed her instructions. But I nodded anyway, with a small smile as we arrived at Grandmother's house and went inside, taking our seats.
"I know you cannot visit us much," Grandmother mused, patting Yunhua's hands, "but do try to see us when you can? Write to us, at least. We all miss you dearly these past days." With Yunhua gone, the family suddenly lacked a person to manage the books and the staff. I'd stepped up partially, but since I was only a cousin, it was slightly awkward for me to take over everything. Grandmother had refused when we'd tried to transfer power to her, and Yunjun had only been more insistent. Household management had always been considered the job of the lady of the house, so Tianjin was out of the question.
That left Yunxuan, who had taken up the duty but still struggled with it. She and I shared responsibility now, me partially only because I'd need to start managing my own household once I married shortly after.
A little time to practise.
"You know it can be a complicated situation, Grandmother."
"I know. But we are family."
"I will try my best."
"Have all the things I told you been put in place?"
I straightened, glancing away. It still didn't feel quite right, what they were doing, even if I knew it was what was necessary. Niceness didn't matter in this world where power was key. And I was too soft-hearted.
"All, Grandmother. The incense, the herbs, everything."
"You must take more medicine, Yunhua. An heir is of utmost importance."
"I shall try my best, Grandmother, but these things are sometimes up to fate."
Grandmother nodded and turned to the rest of us. "Everything is changing so fast. Yunhua marries and Minxi marries soon. Who knows when Yunjun has to return to the borderlands? And only Yunxuan is left, and she will marry in a few years as well."
"You will have Tianjin, and he will take a wife in some years' time."
"That is true, I suppose. Though it is still a bit early." Boys usually didn't marry until they were eighteen. Tianjin's wife would be a lady from a respectable family that was trusted by the Shangguans. But looking at my cousin, he seemed far too green for marriage yet. "But he is a boy. He will not understand me the way you girls do, or speak to me the way you do."
"Then his wife can keep you company."
"Bah! As if it would be the same." Grandmother shook her head. "I am growing older by the day. It feels strange. Sometimes, it still feels like yesterday when your grandfather left me. It has been so many years since I was married. And longer when your fathers and mothers wedded."
"Time passes quickly," Yunxuan said with a sigh. "It is as if Minxi only arrived in Luoyang a while ago, and now she is engaged and to be married in a mere few weeks."
"Two years," Yunjun remarked. "It has been two whole years."
"Ridiculous, is it not?"
"Absolutely ridiculous," Grandmother agreed. "So, Yunhua, how has life been in the Eastern Palace?"
"Excellent, Grandmother." A small emerged on Yunhua's face. "The Crown Prince treats me with utmost respect. The servants listen to me, and my courtyard is comfortably and beautifully decorated. The Emperor has showered me with gifts and the Empress is ever fond of me."
"The Luo girl has not caused trouble?"
"Except for her routine morning visits, I have not seen her at all."
As a concubine, Luo Xueying would have to head to Yunhua's courtyard every day to pay her respects, the same way we went to our uncle and Grandmother every day.
"And has she said anything during these morning visits?"
"She has been uncharacteristically taciturn," Yunhua replied. "It is almost startling."
"Perhaps she has recognised her station," I suggest.
"Or the girl is planning something," Grandmother remarked. "Be careful, Yunhua. The Luos will do anything to pull us off our station. The Imperial Secretary has never gotten along with your father."
"I understand, Grandmother. I will be careful."
Grandmother nodded, satisfied with Yunhua's obedience. "Good. That is good. Most excellent indeed."
It was terrifying sometimes, the way Grandmother went from a loving, sweet old lady who couldn't seem to harm a creature in the world into this cool, calculating politician who would do anything for our family. Yunhua never bothered hiding this side of her with me. Yunxuan's cunning lied not with politics, and she was far more interested always in self-preservation. Yunjun seemed to possess not a modicum of her sisters' cold-blooded shrewdness in normal life. Perhaps she displayed it on the battlefield, but not where I have encountered her.
I felt very much out of place here sometimes. As if I was always a few beats behind, always understanding a bit slower than the rest of them.
The only one was slow as me, perhaps, was Tianjin, and even he had grown up with these schemes. He blinked not an eye at it, the way I was startled by all these things hatching right under my nose.
"It is good," Grandmother mused suddenly, "that we ought not need to prepare so much for Minxi's marriage."
My eyes jumped up, unsure of what she was meaning. She smiled kindly, and any sign of the topics we'd just discussed were gone. She was back to that sweet old lady again who doted on us and cared for us incessantly. "Prince Duan was famous for being deeply in love with his wife. Never taking a concubine, imagine that."
"Is Duan shizi in love with Minxi, though?" Yunxuan pointed out, looking curious.
And then, suddenly, all eyes were on me. I flashed a small smile. "We're good friends."
Disappointed, they all looked away again. I swallowed. I fucking hated it when they were like this. When everyone was acting smart and interesting and I sat there like an absolute fool. Even Yunjun seemed absorbed in this conversation, and she never was.
â
"DO I EVEN want to know?" Chiqian asked, one brow raised as I told him Yunhua's request. Not all of it, of course. Just that Yunhua needed me to pass on a message to Huo Murong, and I wanted him to accompany me to prevent any rumours from spreading. Huo Murong didn't come to our private study anymoreâonly Yunxuan and Tianjin attended now. Yunjun could not be bothered, and I was busy. Huo Murong was far too old to continue attending anyways alongside a bunch of young teens.
"Don't question it," I said with a sigh. "It's how I've always acted around them."
"Poor you," he murmured. The year at the borderlands hadn't changed much of him. He was stronger now, clearly more muscled, his skin far more tanned. He looked a bit older, a bit more mature. He told me he was far more proficient with the sword than he had ever been, and he'd been good enough at it to start with.
"Do not tease me." We stood in the streets before his father's manor. I'd introduced him out for an afternoon promenade alongside a nearby river, and the teahouse I'd invited Huo Murong to was right beside it. I knew Chiqian would agree to accompany me. He has no reason not to.
"So?" I asked, a note of pleading entering my voice. "Accompany me? I cannot go along, Chiqian. It will be so awkward."
"I think it will be even more awkward if I go."
"Chiqian..."
He let out a laugh. "Fine, Minxi. Fine. I will go and sit there like an ornament while you pass on your cousin's message."
A grin flittered onto my face. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."
He gave a little tilt of his head before spreading one hand. "Lead the way then, Miss Fei. Let us go on our promenade."
With us engaged now, no one would bat an eye at us being out together. People would see us at all times, and, well we were getting married in a matter of weeks. There was no risk to our reputations. It was not as if we were stealing away.
We started on our trip. I'd sent an invitation to the Huos a few days ago, almost immediately after Yunhua had left the house. The teahouse was rather close by, perhaps a fifteen minute walk away from the Prince Duan Manor.
We kept a respectful distance as we walked, sharing what had happened recently. Chiqian had seen Yunhua a few days ago at a royal feast. I'd have to attend those in the future, which was slightly terrifying. Though the words that needed to be said were starting to come naturally to me. Yunxuan was starting to joke that she could already imagine me as a shizifei, the shizi consort.
I spent most of my days with her now, back in Shangguan Manor.
Yunjun had been ecstatic yesterday, after the Emperor had recalled even more soldiers back from the borderlands. Her dear friend, Feng Cao, was one of them.
And I brought this up with Chiqian, who frowned.
"I've heard some unsavoury things about him," I murmured.
"He's a good man," Chiqian said, tilting his head, "but I don't think he's a good, well, husband material. Is Yunjun romantically interested in him?"
"Yunxuan seems to think so."
"That is worrying." After a moment's thought, he continued, "His relationship with Kun Ying'er is quite well known to a majority of us other young men, you see. She is the most famous courtesan in Luoyang." Courtesans were different from ordinary prostitutes. I was not well-versed about it in any means, but there were those who served more as mere companions, who did not have to sell their bodies but merely their talents, and those who sold their bodies. Kun Ying'er would fall into the former.
"Are they very attached?"
"Very." Chiqian sighed. "He visits her extremely regularly, and for around the past year and a half now there has been talk of him paying off her debt to her madam. I think he'll immediately take her as a concubine if he ever marries."
"Not a good man for Yunjun, then."
"Is she not aware? Having been on the battlefields along him for so long, she must know. I was there too, after all, and certainly most of the soldiers knew and teased him for it."
"Did you ever see Yunjun and young general Feng be particularly close to each other?"
"What I saw seemed more like a friendship. I suppose Yunjun did seem quite interested in him, but I saw nothing that raised an alarm."
"That is good, then. No promises have been made. Nothing too far that cannot be salvaged."
"For girls like you, a single misstep is irretrievable," he warned.
I turned to look at him. "But Yunjun is not a girl like me. How many girls have there been in our history who have been able to go and fight in the army so openly as she has?"
"You will be surprised," he mused, "at how people can bend rules when it serves them, and how quickly they can change it when it fits them even better. I would still think it is smarter to be careful."
We conversed quietly on our way to the teahouse, and arrived a few minutes before the time I'd set with Huo Murong. We took a seat and ordered some tea. The staff was, as usual, extremely attentive to usâit was quite clear at first glance that we were most definitely the spawn of the noblemen littered around this city. I ordered a bit of dimsum as well, since I was hungry.
"Huo Murong is prone to being late," Chiqian said, sounding rather amused. "We may be here a little while."
"He chooses when he is late and when he is not," I replied, shaking my head. "Considering my close relations to Yunhua, he will not be drastic and dramatic."
"I certainly hope so," Chiqian murmured. "I'm hoping to get this business done with as soon as possible. It feels rather wrong. I suppose you will not tell me what this is all about?"
"I am sure you've already had some ideas. You're a smart man. And, well, you will be here while I converse with Lord Huo. You'll piece it together in no time. Have some patience." I nodded in appreciation as one of the staff poured some hot tea into my cup. "I'm hoping he won't get emotional."
Chiqian's eyes narrowed. "I don't like where this is going. Perhaps we ought to go somewhere more secluded? Ask for a private room?"
"A bit too suspicious. And besides," I nudged my chin at the two empty seats across from us. "His back will be to the rest of the room. No one will see his expression."
"You've planned this out, haven't you?" he asked, a small bit of admiration in his voice.
I sent him a look. "Don't look at me like that. I've had days to plan this out. Down to every detail."
"You've changed from when you first arrived here," he murmured, but there was nothing accusatory in his voice. As if this was what he had expected. "If I didn't know better, I'd have thought you were born and raised here."
"I told you. I learn fast."
"Very fast indeed. I made the right choice."
I was blushing furiously when I turned away from him, taking a long sip of tea to hide my embarrassment. He chuckled as if reading my thoughts. "How are the arrangements going?"
"Well." I tilted my head, glancing at him. "You are coming to jie qing, right?" It was usually conventional for the groom to come collect the bride. The Crown Prince had not, since rules were different for the imperial family. And I wasn't sure if Chiqian fell under those rules as well.
"Of course I am," he laughed. "My parents would slaughter me if I did not. Why ask?"
"The Crown Prince did not come for Yunhua."
"Well, his case is slightly more special. He's not supposed to do it, I think, according to law, as the heir apparent."
I nodded. "Just wanted to make sure."
"Well, he's actually on time for once," Chiqian suddenly murmured. My eyes snapped to the door, where Huo Murong strolled in, his servant behind him. Upon spotting us, he waved the servant off and headed over, giving a nod of greeting to both of us before sitting down. Chiqian smiled. "Long time no see, friend."
He looked rough. He'd cleaned up fairly nicely, but he still looked like he was in a bad state. The bags under his eyes were heavy and dark, and his skin was abnormally pale. He looked thinner than before. Brows creased, I said, "I hope you've recovered well, Lord Huo."
"I feel better than before," he replied politely. "I hope you won't mind, Miss Fei, if I ask you to get directly to the point?"
"Of course not." I reached into my pocket, taking out the small bag Yunhua had given me. "My cousin asked me to give this to you."
"Your cousin?"
"The Crown Princess Consort. Yunhua."
His eyes darkened at the title. "Why can she not give it to me herself?"
"I think you understand how precarious a position that would put her in. I don't think you want to put her under any more risk, do you?" He'd already risked it all once, barging into her courtyard those weeks ago. It had been idiotic. We were all fortunate none of the guests had caught him. "There is a letter inside, I think. For you."
Chiqian was watching us both with care.
Huo Murong ignored him. "Did she say anything else?"
"Move on, Lord Huo. Forget anything that ever happened. It will only put you both in danger if you act irrationally."
"She doesn't love him."
"It matters little who she loves. She is married now. And it would be for everyone's better if you stayed away."
Huo Murong reached out and took the bag from the table, stroking the fabric for a long moment before pocketing it. "She must have said something."
"I believe all she has to say to you is in that letter."
"I want to talk to her in person. She can tell me it all in person rather than through a single letter."
"On the contrary, letters are usually more suitable for things like these. I repeat, Lord Huo, keep your distance. Or it will not just be you and Yunhua who suffer the consequences, but all the rest of us as well. And I do not think you stupid enough to risk that."
Murong flexed his jaw, eyes trained on me, as if trying to read a single lie from my face. I kept my expression placid.
"Tell me," he murmured then, his voice softer than before. "Did she ever love me?"
"No."
I didn't know if that was true. But in all the things Yunhua had told me about, never had she ever used the word love to describe Huo Murong. Like, yes. Dreams, yes. Love? Love was far more than that. It was far, far more precious than either of those things.
"Really?" I thought he'd be angry, but all he looked was... sad. Desperate.
"She liked you, but she never loved you."
He swallowed, eyes shutting for a few moments before they opened again. "Is there anything else?"
I shook my head.
"Thank you. I'll take my leave now."
And then he was gone.