Chapter 1

My screams woke me from my slumber. But I didn’t open my eyes until cold water splashed on my face. My breathing fastened, the tears frozen on my face.

I slowly tried to sit up, that’s when I noticed someone sitting at the edge of my bed. I squinted in the dark, trying to figure out who it was. Her white-blonde hair glowed in the dark. She extended her hand, offering me a glass of water. I reluctantly took it and it almost slipped out of my hand. The cold water quenched my thirst, I didn’t realize how dry my mouth was. I set the glass on the nightstand next to my bed. I tried to steady my breathing but I kept thinking about the nightmare I had. I shivered, and not because of the cold but because I was frightened. My hair was plastered to my neck and forehead in sweat and the sweat stains on my clothes were kind of embarrassing.

It was just a nightmare, I told myself. It was just a nightmare. I wanted to ask the time but I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. Instead, I rested my head on my knees and tried to slow my heart rate.

Deep breaths, I tried to calm myself down. Deep breaths.

“Are you okay?”

I looked up and recognized the figure sitting in front of me. She was much clearer now, her eyes sparkled, and by sparkle, I mean they literally sparkled.

I simply shook my head. “No thanks, Raelynn.” I squeaked.

“Try going back to sleep.” she told.

“I can’t” I said through gritted teeth.

“Well....” she hesitated. “There’s no point anyway. We have a few hours until breakfast so going back to sleep now make it hard for you to wake up”

I rolled my eyes, irritated. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for Raelynn and that she was here next to me pretty much every night made it kind of easier for me to calm down.

She tried to make me stop screaming in my sleep, even though it was by soaking me in cold water. But I deserve it too, because I feel guilty about waking up the other girls hours before they’re alarms go off. And Raelynn, well she sits next to me until I doze off and is the first one awake. I asked her multiple times to switch beds with someone so she’d be at a distance and would be out of earshot of my screams but she insisted that I let her do what she wants. At least I warned her about my night terrors.

I pulled off the covers and slipped my feet into my torn boots. I tip-toed to the bathroom, careful not to bump into anyone’s bed.

The strong light of the bathroom pierced my eyes and I squinted in the mirror, trying to get a clear image of myself. I turned on the tap and quickly washed my face, sending droplets everywhere. My sleeves were soaked to my elbows and my hair was damp as well as the rest of my clothes.

The rest of the girls were still under the sheets and I wasn’t even going to try and go back to sleep, so I took refuge outside. The cold air kissed my skin and I shivered in the cold. At times like this, I missed the Summers, or whatever warmth we had here in Stellaregno.

“You can’t stay here” a familiar voice said.

“Go away, Raelynn.” I said.

“No” she protested.

I turned around and saw that she was fully dressed for training. All black of coarse, warm jacket, leather gloves and warm leggings.

“I can’t go away, I live here.” she reminded me. I rolled my eyes at her.

I debated taking a walk but the cold weather made it hard for me to move, I was frozen stiff. I glanced at the sky and tried to Stargaze for a while. I could feel Raelynn staring at me and that made it even harder than usual for me to concentrate.

I relaxed my arms and closed my eyes. I thought of Virgo and in seconds I could feel the sky light up with the glow of my Constellation. I did this every morning back at home. At least there something here to remind me of that.

“Annabelle,” Raelynn called. I opened my eyes, Virgo still shinned above me. I signed and crossed my arms across my chest.

“What?” I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

She fidgeted with her braid and then looked up, her multi colored eyes were pink and yellow today, and whenever she blinked her eyes seemed to sparkle.

“Please come inside” she was practically begging me. I almost gave in. “We’ll get some hot chocolate”

The thought of hot chocolate on a cold winter day was appealing but I really just had to be alone. I don’t know why Raelynn was always following me around and nagging me all the time. Like, give me some space!

“No, thanks” I replied coldly. My words melting into fog as I spoke.

Raelynn knitted her eyebrows in frustration. What is she so worried about?

“Annabelle, please listen to me” she pleaded.

“For Stars’ sake!” I raged. “What is your problem?”

She sighed, as if she was trying not to be angry with me. “Calm down” she told me in a freindly way, despite me being a complete brat.

“Just come inside and we can talk” she offered.

I moaned and gave up on my stubborness. I stompted my way into the cafeteria and I sat at a table while Raelynn made hot chocolate.

I pulled down my sleeves so they covered my hands. Raelynn came out of the kitchen in a few minutes telling me that someone was bringing our breakfast in a few minutes.

“I’m not hungry” I replied.

“You have to eat something,” she insisted. “You haven’t eaten anything in three days”

I frowned at the truth, but I really wasn’t in the mood to digest anything. And besides, the food here tastes like sand and cardboard.

“I’m really not in the mood” I mumbled.

Raelynn looked at me with sympathy. But I doubt she understands how I feel right now. “I just want to be alone.” I told. I sounded like a toddler.

“And do what?” she asked.

Sulk. I answered in my head.

“I just want to be alone.” I sighed.

Raelynn must have been starving because she pretty much inhaled her food, or maybe she ate fast so she wouldn’t gag on it.

I only stared at my plate and made a disgusted face. Raelynn noticed as soon as she was done drinking her milk, or chewing it.

“Belle,” she said calmly.

I looked at her, irritated.

“I know you’re not used to this life but...” she hesitated. Her eyes became glassy, but she blinked back the tears. “We all grew up here and...now you’re here so, can you please try and adjust?”

I stared at the floor. Don’t you know how I feel? I wanted to yell. But I had to restrain myself, after all Raelynn had done for me while my time at Crimsyn State, I had found comfort with her.

“I cannot eat this” I pushed away the plate.

She sighed, “Can you at least drink?” She pointed to the glass of milk.

I snorted, “I think you mean chew”

Raelynn pouted,“It’s not that bad” she defended quickly.

“Oh really?” I challenged.

She raised her eyebrows. “Fine, if it’s not so bad then, why don’t you have my glass too?”

Her expression changed, she had a distasteful look on her face as she stared at the glass of expired milk. Her eyebrows knitted and she turned green.

“Okay, okay!” she exhaled. “You win”

I heard footsteps and I knew that everyone was making their way to the cafeteria, but I can not be here with everyone else. I tried not to run but that was really hard and Raelynn was behind me, and her eyes seemed to be glued on me, so I wouldn’t be out of her sight for a second. Well, there goes my privacy.

I led Raelynn to the weapon room but good thing it was locked, otherwise I would’ve tried to throw a knife at her. My stomach was growling but I didn’t want to admit it, I cannot have any of the food they serve here. Something pierced the side of my head, my knees almost buckled but I held it together. Unfortunately, Raelynn noticed my uneasiness.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her, do I look okay?

“I’m fine” She saw right through the lie. “No you’re not”

“Just leave me alone.” I raged. “Go away! I didn’t ask for a personal bodyguard, you know?”

“I know but I have to stay with you until you learn basic self defense” Raelynn said.

“What?”

“Basic self defense” she repeated slowly, as if she were talking to a deaf person. I rolled my eyes at her. “And not to mention sword fighting, astrology, history and....”

Astrology and history? Why in Virgo did I have to learn that? I just graduated high school.

“Hold on!” I interrupted. “I don’t need to learn history and astrology. I’m a pro at astrology and history I can manage. As for, sword fighting and self defense, I couldn’t care less”

Raelynn sighed, “You have to, Annabelle.”

“No, I don’t,” I crossed my arms. “And I appreciate you being nice to me despite my stubbornness but I really don’t need a babysitter.”

“I’m not your babysitter,” she said. “I’m your friend”

I can’t believe this girl. “I don’t even know you” I pointed out.

“That doesn’t matter.” she said. I rolled my eyes again.

There was a long pause between us. My arms were still crossed and I could feel my rib cage, I had lost a lot of weight in the past few months. But that wasn’t my intention. I was about to go back and lay in bed but Raelynn blocked my way and broke the silence between us.

“You’re not going anywhere” she said sternly. I clenched my fists and tried to fight the urge to punch her face. “Look Annabelle, I get that you don’t want to be here but would you rather be trapped in that dungeon? Would you?”

I lowered my head, embarrassed. I never thought about that.

“Well, it’s not like this place is any different” I tried to keep my emotional wall up.

Raelynn gasped, she looked offended. “How dare you say that?”

“Just get out of my way and I’ll try not to point out the fact that this place is a dump” I fumed.

Now Raelynn was the one with anger in her eyes. But she seemed to calm down, although now there was tension in the air. Raelynn marched into the cafeteria and finally left me alone. I could Stargaze if I wanted, the sky was a beautiful pinkish-orange colour and the Stars were almost calling me to them.

As much as I wanted to stay, I had to go and fix myself up. Before walking towards the room I was in I covered my hands with my sleeves and buttoned my sweater, it was so tight I couldn’t breath.

Luckily, the room was empty, about thirty made beds and then there was mine, the one with the wrinkled sheets and tear stained pillow. The bathroom was locked so I was safe from everyone as long as I was in here. My head was aching and I was getting dizzy, the bright light wasn’t helping because it pierced my eyes.

My face had changed, I nearly gasped at the face I was looking at. The colour had been drained from my face, I look like I haven’t slept in days, the dark circles were proof. The bed that I had here was uncomfortable so maybe that was the reason why I wasn’t sleeping but then again I do suffer from insomnia sometimes.

I had a skeletal look now and my sweater wrapped around my chest tightly so everyone could count my ribs. I unbuttoned my sweater and slid off my shirt. My stomach had been growling for days but I couldn’t bring myself to digest anything, it wasn’t just the bad food but my taste buds weren’t responding to anything.

Yesterday, Raelynn had found me a plump red apple, reluctantly I had agreed to take a bite but as soon as I tasted the juice I spit it out. It didn’t taste bad, it was surprisingly really good but I couldn’t put it inside of me.

Now, looking at myself, I decided that I looked sick, I was anorexic like the girls at my school who would go days and days without eating anything to stay skinny, they thought that their figure was perfect but if you ask me they looked weak. But I’m not starving myself on purpose, not like those other girls. I actually want to become healthy. I wasn’t getting proper nutrition here but the past few months I threw up a lot so all the food I did have was eventually taken out. The only thing that my body accepted was water, but that was washed away in the tears.

When I finally got out of the bathroom Raelynn was sitting on her bed and staring at the floor, her eyes were now purple and blue, she didn’t say anything but she looked like me when I wanted to be alone so I left. As I shut the door, I looked up and saw Alfred staring down at me with a grin on his face.