Chapter 13: Chapter ☾ XIII ☽

“...fail this exam, my dad will kill me.” I sighed quietly on the phone as I paced outside by the tables near the entrance to the school. “It’s not like I can tell him I’ve had other stuff to deal with and I couldn’t study every waking second.”

I take my SAT this morning. Should I have rescheduled? Definitely. I absolutely should have. Sure, I studied for a few weeks, but so much has happened in that time. I honestly forget that I was supposed to take it this morning until I saw my calendar last night. Now it’s seven in the morning, and I’m having a hard time finding a reason why I should take this seriously because I know I’m going to fail.

“You can always take it again.” Ty said over the phone, trying to calm me down, but that made things worse.

“I can’t believe I have to worry about this when so much crap has happened.”

At first Ty didn’t say anything. He was completely silent. Then he spoke, “We’re supposed to be going to the same university.”

The real issue with that is if he can actually leave or not. He and his brothers still have issues to deal with, and it’s not like the war with vampires will make it better. I guess I should be happy we’re making progress on this conversation because Ty does like talking about it.

“Okay, but-”

“If you don’t get in, what am I going to do, Gabriel?” he asked me, his tone flat.

I thought he was supposed to be encouraging me, but he was just lecturing me instead. If I wanted to be stressed out, I would’ve talked to my dad. I groaned obnoxiously as I paced around. I had half a mind to pull out my hair.

“Fine.” I gave in. “As much as I know you can’t live without me, it doesn’t make me feel better knowing that I literally have your future in my hands-”

“You can take the exam more than once.” he emphasized for me but that didn’t make things better.

There was just so much on my mind and I couldn’t think of one thing. I couldn’t focus on one thing. It’s like there so many things that needed my attention and I couldn’t choose what to deal with first. It was almost sickening.

“I get that you’re worried.” Ty said quietly. I stopped walking, my heart pounding in my chest. “Let us handle the vampires. You shouldn’t be stressed out over our problems.”

“I’m worried about you, too.”

Again, he was quiet. I know Ty’s just trying to get me to calm down for my exam. I had this regret about what I said. Of course he knows I’m worried about him. I just didn’t mean to make him panic, too. With the way he didn’t say anything, I had a feeling that I set that fear into him.

“I love you.” he said to me. Those three words were enough to stop my mind from racing, to slow my racing heart, to make it easier to breathe. “Please, don’t freak out.” He panics when I do, so I better control myself.

I took a deep breath.

Not everything was completely fixed, but I could actually handle thinking about a test.

“Okay.” I said. “I feel better enough that I won’t completely ruin our futures.”

“Thank you.” He was going to take that as a win.

“Can I come by later?” I asked, getting too hopeful for my own good.

“If your dad let’s you out of the house.” He said.

Why do I keep forgetting that I have this long strength of bad behavior that’s keeping me in the house? I looked up with this feeling of despair in my entire body.

“Ugh,” I groaned, “I’ll call you after my exam,” I said. The last thing I needed was to start getting worked up again.

I still had thirty minutes before I have to get seated. I couldn’t help but pace around the table, trying to calm my nerves again. The air was slightly warmer than usual. There hasn’t been a threat of snow in days. I looked up at the cloudy sky and I tried to find peace.

It was...

Humid.

“Hey,” a voice came from behind me.

I whipped around quickly to see who snuck up on me. Henri’s smiling face greeted me, and although I recognized his gestures there was a sadness in his eyes.

Today they were a gold color, not the usual blue that made me think I was looking at a clear sky.

I didn’t know if I wanted to talk to him. I took a hesitant step back because my memory of last week flooded my mind. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he's a vampire, but this time it was a quick thought that lingered in my mind. He saw the way I looked at him, the sudden fear that made me keep distance between us. Things can’t go back to normal.

I don’t know what he wants, but he can’t just pretend nothing is going on.

“Did you know?” I asked him.

He looked away, wanting to hide his shame but I could see it all over his face. He knew that the other vampires took Monique and he didn’t say anything. He let her get taken and abused and he did nothing.

“Why...”

“I already told you I wasn’t getting involved.” Henri said. “What happens is none of my business-”

“So you’re going to let them kill people?”

“Are you asking me if I’m going to let others like me eat to survive?”

I wanted to respond to his question but the only thing out of my mouth was wind. Again, I continue to forget that he’s a vampire, that he literally feeds on people to stay alive. Why am I so shocked? I just stared at me because I didn’t know what to say, though that made it worse.

“You know what side I’d pick if I have to.” Henri meant his words.

I can’t be surprised that he will side with people like him.

He took a step forward, but I didn’t move. My heart fluttered in an unsettling way, but I didn’t think to keep my distance from him. He took another step and another, making his way to the table and he sat down quietly. He had that regretful expression on his face again, and I fell for it. I sat down next to him, but I didn’t speak.

There was not much I could ask.

“The vampire that your dogs killed was Dade. When I said that vampires are vengeful, I wasn’t kidding. There’s a group that’s not happy about him getting killed.” Henri shook his head. “They’ll start to pick people off, one by one, until they are begging for us to stop.”

I watched him as he spoke, as he relayed the threat he was told to, and yet it seemed like he would join them despite how hard he preached that he wouldn’t. There was a coldness to his demeanor now. Even as he looked at me, his cold eyes were warning me. He gave me the message, now I have to tell the wolves.

“Are you threatening them?” I had this feeling like that's who his words were directed towards.

Henri’s gaze fell to the table as he mashed his lips together. He didn’t want to answer, but I already knew.

“I don’t control them, Henri.” I bet he still believed I could persuade them. The one he should be talking to is the alpha male. I can’t give orders to anyone.

“One of them you do.” he looked at me. When I stared at him plainly, he raised an eyebrow. Is he talking about Ty? It's not like that. “I can smell it, Gabriel.” Everyone can for some reason. I just rolled my eyes and turned my attention elsewhere. “That kind of bond is difficult to break.”

Whatever message was, this one was for me. I would be stupid to think I wasn’t on a hit list already. I’m lucky that I wasn’t picked off first. Henri was probably just doing his job, communicating what his leader wants him to. I bet he’s hoping that I will run to Ty and tell him what’s going on. “Ty will kill you.” I said slowly.

Nowadays, Ty is not afraid to stand his ground around me. If someone makes the wrong move, he will quickly take care of it. It’s a subtle thing I noticed, but I still noticed it. Ty would do anything for me. I know that. He will make sure I don’t get hurt. So if there’s a lingering threat over my head, I know for a fact that he will take care of it.

Henri stared back at me.

And for a moment we didn’t speak.

I think we understood what was happening.

He picked his side and it was visible that I was upset with his choice. He told me he didn’t want friends that killed people, yet he’s standing by and letting the others take whoever they want. They took a friend of mine, they hurt her, they used her, and then they made her forget it like it was nothing. Henri just let it happen.

“I’m not threatening you, Gabriel.” he said as he got up. “I’m just giving you a head’s up cause I still consider you my friend.” His words didn’t sit well with me. “Call your attack dogs off or you’ll regret it.”

That sounds like a threat to me.

Before I could say something, he was gone in a blink of an eye. My heart was racing in my chest, the kind of sensation that made it hard to breathe. I was left alone at the table, and the only thing on my mind was Henri’s words to me.

If someone gets hurt again, it’ll be my fault.

I barely made it past the second break of the exam.

I ran to the bathroom once time was called and rushed into a stall, leaning over the toilet and throwing up. I could say with real certainty that this is the first time I’ve ever felt so anxious that I’ve gotten sick.

Then again, putting someone’s life in my hands could make me feel any type of way.

I couldn’t imagine the weight of the guilt and regret that would drown me if someone I know gets killed all because I couldn’t convince Channing to stand down. Again, that thought made me nauseous and I couldn’t hold it.

Today has been the absolute worst and it’s only ten in the morning.

I sat against the stall when I could finally gasp for air. I was fighting the urge to have a mental breakdown right then and there, but the tears were welding up in my eyes and it was hard to control. There was this hole in my chest and the feeling of complete doubt was killing me.

If anyone gets hurt, I’m responsible.

If someone I know gets hurt, its on me.

I began crying. At this point, I might as well let it happen because I only had fifteen minutes before I had to get back to my exam. I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down, trying to give myself five minutes of complete nothingness so I could get one clear thought.

It became easier to breathe after some time.

Finally, I could get up and wash my face. I splashed the cold water on my skin which definitely woke me up for the second time this morning. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought I looked okay. Well, okay enough for someone who just puked twice from pure fear. I sighed and yanked out a few paper towels to wipe my face and my hands.

Just as I was walking out of the bathroom, I bumped into someone.

I groaned immediately.

“Cina-”

“You look like absolute shit.” he snickered at me, and that did not make me feel better. I tried to walk pass him but he blocked me from moving, putting his hands up on the wall to stop me.

“Cina, please.” I could feel that rush of anxiety coming up again and I hated it.

There was that second where he noticed something was wrong. He pulled his hands down slowly, but he kept his eyes on me. He was going to ask if there was something wrong and I had to stop him.

“Please, don’t ask.” I looked away.

I was afraid I would blurt everything out to him.

I decided it was better if I keep what Henri said to me to myself, or at least I can find Channing when he’s calm and level headed. But Cina was still staring at me like he knew I was keeping something from him. That gaze was not good, and I could feel my heart speeding up again.

He took my hand and pulled me down the hall. I didn’t say anything and I let him take me wherever he was taking me. Once we got by the stairs, he leaned against the wall and pulled me closer to him. Despite knowing that he shouldn’t hold me the way that he was, I didn’t think he was trying to come on to me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked that dreadful question. I looked away. “Who did this to you?” he asked as his hand moved under my chin, making me tilt my head back so I could look at him.

My hand wrapped around his wrist, holding on to him gently. His skin was so warm and it almost made me want to lean into him a little more. My fingers traced his wrist as I tried to think of something to say to him. He was starting to come closer to me, as if I hadn’t noticed his other arm around my waist.

I sighed quietly just as his lips pressed on my cheek, the corner of his lips just barely touching mine. “I’m getting brass knuckles for my birthday next week, Cina.” That was a clear warning for him to not try anything more.

He understood because he lifted his hands off me and kept them up so I could see them. He laughed after I rolled my eyes at him.

“Seriously, though.” He said as I stepped away from him. “You look like someone said something nasty to you.”

“Henri threatened me this morning.” I said as I turned away further. “I mean, he thinks I control you and your brothers. He keeps telling me that if you don’t back off, there’s just going to be worse consequences.” I was beginning to freak out again like before. “It’s scaring me, Cina. There’s no way I can handle being responsible for people dying. What am I supposed to do?”

“First of all, you need to calm down.” he flat out said, as if I wasn’t trying to do that before. It just made me feel worse and I hated it. “Let that guy say whatever the hell he wants. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

“I just...” I took a breath. “It feels like when I’m involved, it just makes everything worse.” I admitted that to him.

And it’s not the first time I’ve said something like that before. Ty knows it, Channing knows it, Brendan knows it. I’ve caused just as much problems as I’ve helped. But I’m human. If something happens to me, it’s not like I can quickly heal from it.

“Uh...” Cina paused which made me look up at him. “You make everything worse.”

I was not expecting him to say that. My hands clenched, and I was tempted to punch his arm although I know it wouldn’t hurt him. He grabbed my hand before I could think about lifting it up. When he laughed, I looked up towards him sharply, not amused by how he was taking this. I’m literally confiding in him and he’s taking it as a joke.

“I said calm down for a reason.” he smiled at me, not the same flirtatious grin he always had. It was...almost reassuring. “You run with the wolves, sweetheart. You literally have a whole pack of behind you.”

He...

I was shocked at how quickly I was relieved. My eyes were on his face, but my mind lingered on the fact that he’s saying that his family will be there if I need it. That kind of phrase was powerful to my ears and I was overwhelmed. Me telling him how grateful I was wouldn’t be enough. Saying thank you wouldn’t be enough.

My arms latched around him and I hugged him tightly. I pressed my face against his shoulder and fought back the urge to start crying again. For just a moment, I wasn’t so scared, and I was absolutely relieved to not have that feeling inside me. I was so grateful that I didn’t even tell Cina to move his hands when he placed them at my hips.

“You get ten seconds.” I said.

His hands slid into my back pockets and he held me close. I know he’s probably taking in these next few seconds with everything he has. This is the only time I’m letting him do this. I was just more concerned that I didn’t have to worry.

Or that I wasn’t the only one shouldering the consequences.

The wolves have been outside frequently. Everyone would see at least one roaming the streets. At night, there would be more. Classmates would post videos about them, get close enough to touch them, and try to play around with them when they were rolling around in the grass. It’s like no one even flinches when they see beast size wolves in the town. I haven’t heard Animal Control out and about. And the one time someone mentioned Conrod’s name, it was about him continuing a project in a different town. It would be foolish of me to think that he’s just going to stop everything, but right now there are other issues to worry about.

People are calling the wolves protectors. When a ton of us used to hear bedtime stories about the animals that protect the forest, it’s not shocking to latch on to the idea.

I was laying in Ty’s bed, curled up against him. He likes to do this thing where he keeps his arm over my torso. If I’m lucky, he likes to put his leg over mine. When he doesn’t take the initiative, I do it, like right now. I didn’t try to get him to undress although it would seem like fun.

“Are we the only ones here?” I asked.

It was quiet in his house which is odd considering how many teenage boys live here.

“Jackie’s passed out outside.” He mumbled against my chest.

My fingers stroked his hair slowly, and I felt his hand moving inside my shirt. I know he wasn’t trying to get frisky, but a boy could dream, right?

He was being possessive. Usually there's a specific reason for that.

“So you know Cina grabbed my butt earlier today.”

“Yeah.”

Did I expect Cina not to brag? No. He was going to rub it in Ty’s face because he enjoys messing with him.

“He also said something happened...”

Right.

When Ty shifted to look up at me, I knew I couldn’t lie and say everything was okay. It’s not. Everything was a mess.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Ty could feel how unsettled I was. He rested his head on my chest again. “No one will hurt you.”

“I guess I’m not really worried about myself.” I sighed as my fingers continued to twirl the curls in his hair. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. What happened with the twins, that shouldn’t happen every time.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I don’t...I can’t lose you.” I said.

Ty still didn’t talk. His hand stopped moving over my side, too. Usually he keeps quiet when he doesn’t have anything to say.

Or when he’s worried.

Or when something else is on his mind.

“Does it scare you?” He finally asked after a few seconds of silence. I couldn’t tell his emotion by his voice. “I know we were probably joking around this morning, but...” He paused again, and this time he sat up to look at me. “I...want to be together...”

There was a faint blush on his cheeks. He was embarrassed to say that, but I would hope he would want to stay with me.

“Do you think I don’t?” I was curious what he thought.

“It’s not that... We’re kind of forced to make a serious decision here and I don’t...I don’t want you to resent me.”

He’s concerned about how much he’s with me. How he can’t separate from me. How he physically and emotionally can’t leave me. I want to imagine what it’s like but I can’t. Maybe the way I like him doesn’t even come close in magnitude to the way he likes me.

“My parents have been together since their freshman year of high school.” I said, more so to give him hope. “Plus Channing and Candice have been together since middle school and they’re making it work.” I added since that’s still a relationship that distracts everyone. “I could never resent you for wanting to be with me.”

He means everything to me.

I know we’ve been putting this conversation off a lot, and we’ll talk about it when we can.

“Just pray that I did well on that stupid test, okay.” I smiled at him.

“Gabriel, you can take it more than once.”

“I think the sheer annoyance of Cina grabbing my butt was what fueled me through the second half.” I started to laugh, but I don’t think he found it funny. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t mean to put him on edge. “I should be happy that you want to be optimistic about future.”

“Our?” He repeated since I put dramatic emphasis on the word when I said it.

“Yeah.” I stared at him. “You’re my mate-”

He was quick to get out of bed. I didn’t want to laugh but I couldn’t help it. He gets so squirmy about the word when I use it but I’m only joking with him. He knows that. When he left the room, I groaned obnoxiously. Now he’s actually being dramatic. I got up out of bed and followed him.

“Come on, Ty.” I was following him downstairs. It seemed like he was just going to leave the house. I would follow him. He can’t stop me. “Don’t you love me?” I asked, trying to be cute.

He stopped abruptly and turned around to face me. I looked up at him, still trying to be cute. I even batted my eye lashes a bit, hoping he wouldn’t be annoyed with me. He kept quiet, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he had this gaze in his eyes like he would risk it all for me.

That’s something I’m used to seeing.

“Boyfriend.” I said instead, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing up against him.

“Okay.”

“Lover?”

He was about to respond but kept it to himself instead. His blush was what gave him away, though. He was thinking about something dirty. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Take me home?”

“Sure, lover.”

I gasped out loud at his comment, but I didn’t try to hide my flirting even if I knew that he was teasing me. This is why I love him.

When we walked outside, we were greeted by a few wolves. Two of them nuzzled against us, and the black one stayed by the trees, watching quietly. A grey wolf was laying in the grass, and there was someone sleeping next to him.

“Is that Jackie?” I pointed to one of the youngest brothers who was curled up against the grey wolf, but Ty shushed me quite harshly. “What?”

“He’s finally asleep. Do not ruin it.”

“That’s so cute.”

“Gabriel.”

“If I could keep all of you in my house, I would.” I could imagine all the wolves in my house.

I desperately deserve a pet.

I woke up during the middle of the night. I didn’t think much of it, maybe I was hungry. I rose out of bed in the dark but stopped at my window when I saw something move.

I was expecting an animal, one of the wolves, but it was...a person.

My heart sank into my stomach.

The person moved back into the trees when I stepped closer to my window to get a better look. That had to be...I narrowed my eyes but it was hard to see. But I know I saw a person. It had to be a vampire. I mean...no one else would stick around my house at this time of night.

They’re watching me.

And that was enough to scare me.