82

Safe and sound. After that event, I was less paranoid than I was before. I asked for a follow-up on the assassins that I encountered when we went to the capital. One of my eunuchs had informed me that it was resolved, but not all members were found.

Less is better than more when it comes to assassins.

"I'm hungry!" Hua Er whined from the bedroom.

I could hear her from the main hall in my estate. I stopped playing the guqin and walked down the steps and into the bedroom.

She knelt on the bed, eyeing the candles that were supposed to tell time. She stared at it for entertainment. Dinner time was almost here. But knowing Hua Er, she was impatient.

I chuckled, sitting at the edge of the bed. I stared at the candles with her. "Dinner is almost here, we should wait at the table."

"Empress, I am dying! I need food in my stomach, right this instance!" she leaned back. Her back pressed against the bed. She looked like a dead starfish.

"You're even more dramatic than me," I rolled my eyes as I reached for the chair and sat down.

My maids went off to get food. Today, I was in a good mood. It's been so long since I could relax, and I believe I could. After the colonel informed me of the rebellion plans, I was very cautious about where I was going.

I was expected to be attacked two or three days from now. The Emperor was notified as well, but he still doubted the colonel. I couldn't blame the Emperor if he was slightly mad at me. Colonel Shi wanted to kill the Emperor, and I had let him off. What I gained was information—information that could save my life.

Who needed Jaxon, anyways?

Hua Er was already excited over the food brought to us. Her eyes followed the maids' hands as they set the dishes down.

I placed Dragon on the ground after petting her. She has been obedient and not the stereotypical cat I imagined her to be. A pet was something that I didn't know I needed. I was lonely sometimes; I wanted to be occupied and take care of something. Although my maids always tried to barge in and help me with Dragon, I did like taking care of her.

The aroma of dishes placed in front of us was strong. Dragon purred as she rubbed her head against my leg.

"No, not for you baby," I cooed, wagging my held chopsticks at her while she tried to move away from it. Although I do let her eat the leftovers, Dragon gets greedy. I'm concerned about my cat's weight.

Hua Er giggled. "If only everyone could see this weird affectionate side to you."

"Well, don't tell anyone," I laughed. "It's a secret."

Tofu. The beautiful dish, drenched in whatever sauce they used, was waiting for me. It must be soy sauce mixed with something else. It had a sweet and salty taste to it. There was a big piece of tofu. Hua Er must have spotted it too because she was eyeing it like it was diamonds.

She wanted to have that piece too. I could see she was dying to have this piece of tofu down her esophagus and into her stomach. She desired this tofu piece, and so did I. Hua Er licked her lips. A few minutes ago, she was complaining about her hunger. I should never mess with my lady-in-waiting if she was hungry, but that tofu piece was calling out to me.

I couldn't let her have it.

We both made eye contact—caught in the act.

"Mine!" we exclaimed in unison, both of us were getting ready to grab the piece.

We played a little bit of chopstick fencing. In an attempt to claim the tofu piece, I placed my elbow on the table. Smart of me to do so, so I could have better support to consume this piece. Hua Er had determination in her eyes. She was ready. She was willing. She was hungry.

Still, we continued to wrestle for it. Hua Er broke the rules of respecting me when it came to food. This, I can allow. I understood.

She stabbed her chopsticks into the tofu. I tried knocking her chopsticks down but I felt my elbow hit my bowl of rice. The sound of shattered porcelain scared both of us into backing out. Dragon jumped. She looked at the rice on the floor before eating it.

"Oh..." I whispered under my breath.

My maids quickly pulled Dragon back, who was still munching on the fallen rice. Hua Er guiltily removed her chopsticks from the tofu and offered it to me. I realised how childish we were, but how funny this was.

It was just like the dinner table with Cara. My blood boiled at the thought of us fighting over stuff, but I did miss it. I was way older than her but we still had stupid quarrels. I remember we fought over a piece of pizza because she didn't like the pineapples and she wanted mine.

Pineapples on pizza are the best if it's Hawaiian.

Scenarios like that were something that you look back on and wish you could relive it. You miss things when it's absent from your life. When you experience it again, you somehow don't enjoy it as much anymore.

When I go back home, I'm going to start a minor fight with Cara just to feel it again.

But Hua Er wasn't so different. She was still like a little sister who took care of me sometimes. When I go back home, I wouldn't be able to be with her anymore. I can't have both. I wish I could have both. It was like I had to pick one, and I wish I didn't have to.

"Thank you," I smiled at my maids who finished cleaning the shattered pieces and rice up. Dragon helped as well. Now she laid on the floor full of carbs.

"Our pleasure, Your Majesty," they bowed in unison.

Fen Ai dipped her head. "I'll get you a new bowl of rice, Your Majesty."

I nodded and watched as they headed off. When they left, I turned my head to Hua Er who slowly tried and sneaked the tofu on her bowl. I rolled my eyes. She looked at me and chuckled. "We are such children."

"I know," I smiled. "It reminds me of when my little sister and I used to fight over minor things."

"You miss her, don't you?" Hua Er frowned.

"Yes, I do... I really do," I let out a heavy sigh and looked away from her. I stared at the piece of tofu, a little angrier. If it wasn't for that piece of tofu, I wouldn't have to wait for another bowl. "You remind me of her, did I tell you this before? I think our relationship is very comforting to me."

Hua Er grinned. She set her chopsticks down and looked at me with genuine. We were having a heart-to-heart conversation. It was coming soon, and my heart was hurting. She took my hand and clasped it between hers. "I'm glad. I've never had a sibling before, but you feel like family to me. Ying Yue, you've given my mother and me a better life. I couldn't have asked for anything better than this."

I am going to miss this.

"Oh... Hua Er, I—" I began but the weird sound of coughing and gagging interrupted my thoughts. Hua Er shot up from her chair. I turned around to follow what she was looking at.

The sight of Dragon throwing up sent me to a wave of shock. My maids rushed quickly to check Dragon, but I got up to shoo them away. At the same time I got up, Fen Ai came back with a bowl of rice in her hand.

She knitted her eyes at us and looked at us weirdly. We were surrounding a cat. "What happened, Your Majesty?"

"Someone call the physician! Someone call the physician," I screamed. I pointed to Fen Ai. "Get me a bowl of water!"

"Yes, Empress." they all said in unison and rushed to what they were supposed to be doing.

I was more concerned about Dragon than concerned about me. Someone tried to kill me. Someone tried to poison me. My maids were supposed to check whether there was poison or not, but they didn't do a good job. I know I should've double-checked but sometimes I get lazy.

Did my maids try to kill me?

Dragon looked fine but I knew she was dying. I didn't want her to die. The Emperor gifted her for me and I only had her for such a short amount of time. She couldn't die. She couldn't.

Hua Er tried to comfort me by patting my shoulder. "Empress, it's fine. She will be fine. We need to inform His Majesty that someone tried to poison you."

"Did you eat anything?" I looked at her.

She shook her head.

I nodded as a response and bent down to pet Dragon. She was tired. She was going to get restless. She couldn't die on me.

More movement started to take place in the dining room. My maids rushed with eunuchs and physicians behind them. Fen Ai placed the bowl of water in front of Dragon, in which Dragon was quick to take fast licks.

"Inform His Majesty right away!" I instructed, looking at the eunuchs. They bowed their heads and were off.

My maids immediately ran in front of me. They knelt and kowtowed. "Please forgive us for our incompetence, Empress! We apologize sincerely!"

"Did you all check for poison? Or were you too lazy and didn't care about my well-being? You all should be lucky that I haven't tasted the food yet," I yelled.

I never yell at my maids. I seldom did. This was the first time I've ever gotten this mad at my maids. I was furious as to how my food could be poisoned, especially because it was in containers. The lids were on, at all times.

The head maid looked up. "One of the concubines' maids was offering to check for poison, I-I might have agreed because I thought she was doing it as a good deed!"

I clenched my jaw. I did something that I have never done to my maids, ever. Raising my hand above my head, I struck across her cheek with the palm of my hand. The sound was loud. It shocked Hua Er as well as it did with my other maids.

She needed that punishment. I could've given a harsher punishment. I was going to die. I was going to die if it wasn't for that piece of tofu. I could've died if it wasn't for Dragon.

I could've died and I could've never been able to go back home. That careless mistake she did would've costed my life.

"You're the head maid, you should know that my life is extremely important," I yelled. "Why would you risk that? Why would you risk my life like that?"

"I apologize, Your Majesty! It's my fault, it's all my fault! I deserved that slap," the head maid placed her head on the ground and so did the rest of the maids. Fen Ai slowly knelt with them and kowtowed. "I require more punishment than this!"

Livid. I was livid. Now, I would lose Dragon.

My kindness was too much because I was willing to kill this maid. I could execute her. I really wanted to do it, yet I just couldn't.

I should've double-checked. I wish there weren't so many 'should have' moments in my life because I was tired of regret.

"Your Majesty," the physician continued kneeling. He dipped his head. "We... We usually don't specialize in animals, but we will take care of the cat in the most logical way."

What does that even mean? I let out an angry exhale. "What? So you're going to kill her before giving her a chance?"

He shook his head. "No, Empress. We will take care of her. We will have to treat her like she is an infant."

"Alright, whatever it is you do, make sure you treat her with the utmost respect and care," I demanded. "I pray for what will happen to you if you don't."

"Yes, Your Majesty," he stood up and bowed. In his arms, was Dragon, staring blankly but still breathing. I watched as he left the room.

My maids were still in the kowtow position in front of me. I was already tired of seeing them. Although I treated my maids well, I couldn't stand their presence right now. I just wanted Hua Er with me.

I sighed. "Rise."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," they said in unison and stood up. Their heads dipped down.

My head maid looked the most guilty. She was trembling under her light hanfu. She was in her mid-thirties, I believe, she looked old for her age though. I did want to execute her. I didn't want a maid who would jeopardize my life like this. She didn't think.

But any other maid may have not spoken the truth. She took responsibility and spoke the truth. She didn't lie to me.

That earned my respect.

"Although you almost killed me," I began. "You did tell the truth. You are a good head maid. You took responsibility and admitted that it was your fault."

I sucked in my cheeks and released. "For that, I will forgive you."

"Oh, thank you, Empress! Thank you for your benevolence and kindness!" she breathed in relief and kowtowed to me again.

"All of you are dismissed, get out," I instructed and turned around to face Hua Er.

After they left, two of us were staring at each other. This affected not me, but Hua Er as we both would die together if we ate the food. She looked at me in disbelief. She continued to shake her head. I watched as she settled down onto her chair for balance.

She peered up at me in distress. "Who could have possibly done this?"

I mean, a lot of people. But I didn't say that. I knew someone from the top of my head that despised me enough to do this to me.

'One of the concubines' maids', said by my head maid. That was already a huge hint.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "But I'm going to find out very soon."

Hua Er and I ate newly cooked food together. Alone. Dragon wasn't here to accompany us. It was weird to not be with Dragon because I was so used to the company of her. I just hoped that she would be okay.

When we finished, my maids walked in and cleaned up in silence.

I got up from my chair. I planned to do something to keep my mind off of things while the Emperor takes action. But I had an idea of who would try to harm me.

My eunuchs rushed into the room. They bowed deeply. Li Shu hurried to stand in front of them as he kept his head down. "Empress."

"Speak." I placed the empty teacup down on the table. Then, I turned to face Li Shu gracefully. This situation was prying the worst out of me, and I wouldn't let it. I had to stay strong yet calm.

"His Majesty has requested for us to search all chambers," Li Shu informed. "We have found what poison was used in your food and we will search for it. All concubines are having their chambers searched. "

I glanced at Hua Er and flicked my index finger up to indicate her to stand up. She rose sharply from her chair and then turned her attention to Li Shu.

The eunuchs were already searching and that wouldn't do anything. It was easy to hide poison. It was easy to hide something if you were smart enough. Again, it was time to take matters into my own hands. I already suspected someone.

"Hua Er, let's go." I walked past the eunuchs and out of the dining room.

"Go where?" Hua Er asked.

I heard shuffling close behind me. Hua Er caught up to me, but I didn't respond. It was the time to think, to think about three suspects I had in mind. One of them was obvious and I wouldn't be surprised if I was right all along.

We stepped inside the chamber of suspect number one. I could tell she was angry with the sulky look on her face. She glared at me when I first came in and had her arms crossed.

Noticing that she was wearing her authentic self on her face, she softened her face and gave me a gentle smile. She took a deep bow to greet me.

"Warm blessings to the Empress." she kept her head down.

"At ease," I responded.

Fei Ruo kept the plastered smile on her face. Her arms were still crossed against her chest. "I would never poison you, Your Majesty. I'm pregnant. I want to serve as a good Noble Consort and care for my child's health."

"Of course you do," I said sarcastically as I craned my neck to the side to watch the eunuchs look through her chamber.

She continued to stare at Hua Er and me. Her body stiffen while she remained standing in front of us. I assumed she didn't want me to come inside and help them.

That wouldn't be necessary anyway.

I ignored her eyes on me. The eunuchs faced me and gave a quick bow before going on with their search. When they did, I took another step forward. "How is the search going?"

One of them shook his head. "Nothing is out of the ordinary. We have no luck."

"I see," I nodded slowly. My eyes drifted away from them and onto Fei Ruo.

Her arms tightly crossed her chest while she continued to stare into my soul.

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you cold?"

Fei Ruo took a step back and shook her head. She smiled lightly at me, which gradually turned into a slight grin. "No... Thank you for caring about me, Your Majesty... Why would you ask me that?"

I could see through her. It was easy to see through her. She wasn't slick, and neither could she ever be. You could never outsmart me; I was the one who outsmarted people. It was not the other way around. Fei Ruo shouldn't be this confident.

"Because you've been crossing your arms for a very long time," I pursed my lips. Then, I took another step forward. Hua Er followed. "Uncross them."

Fei Ruo hesitated. "I—No, Your Majesty, I think it is best for me to comfort my baby—"

"Uncross your arms, milady," an older eunuch ordered as he calmly walked towards Fei Ruo. He was gentle, yet firm with his approach.

"No! I can't!"

She shifted her body away from him and towards the other side. It raised my suspicions and everyone else in the room. Hua Er walked in front of me and approached her.

She untangled Fei Ruo's arms and pried the poison out under her sleeve. The bottle was small and almost empty. It was a white powdered substance that looked more like drugs instead of poison.

My intuition was right about Fei Ruo having to be the cause of it. It was so obvious but sometimes things are hidden in plain sight. She looked frustrated rather than apologetic. The eunuchs squared their shoulders. They were ready to deal with resistance but she left the room obediently.

Another pest will be gone.

Fei Ruo could be lightly sentenced; perhaps to the Cold Palace where she will reside until she gives birth. I wanted her to be banished while carrying the child. I could get the chance. The Emperor would be willing to exile her. He would want to.

I sat on my throne quietly, listening to the exchange of words she had with the Emperor. She continued to apologize and beg for forgiveness from both of us, but I wasn't going to budge. Neither did the Emperor as well because he had no mercy.

"Do you know how big of an offense this is? I should have you banished!" he exclaimed.

"Your Majesty, please give me another chance! I am pregnant with your child!" Fei Ruo responded with exasperation. Her eyes pleaded to the Emperor while heavy tears ran down her cheeks.

She looked like a mess.

Hua Yang sat near us. While listening eagerly, she frowned at the sudden mention of pregnancy. She turned to the Emperor. "Your Majesty,  she's never had any pregnancy symptoms yet... I believe some people are different but..."

"I agree," the Emperor nodded.

Fei Ruo had her head down. I wanted to say that the results they did were stupid, but I didn't want to question them. I stayed silent because I wanted to see how things play out first.

Something told me that I didn't have to speak at all.

"Lady Fei Ruo, when did you realise that you were pregnant? How did you realise that you were pregnant?" Lian Ying asked.

"I-I don't know... I can't remember, I just—" she began.

He shook his head. "If you knew, why didn't you tell His Majesty before? Why wait? ... If you were showing no pregnancy symptoms, how did you know that you were pregnant?"

Lian Ying was asking the hard questions. Fei Ruo should have been asked before this, but I was glad I didn't have to interrogate her. I was sitting here drinking wine and eating fresh fruits like a true queen.

"It was... It was recent! It was a week ago!" Fei Ruo stammered, but the Emperor was already in fury.

"Liar! I haven't slept with you then! You are lying!" the Emperor slammed his hand against his armrest and stood up in anger.

I gently placed my hand on his. "Your Majesty, please appease your anger..."

He turned his attention to me and grimly nodded. After settling back to his seat, he was huffing under his breath. I cleared my throat due to the silence. Fei Ruo's maids were trembling. One of them tried to kill me. I'd send my head maid to identify who it was.

Li Shu made eye contact with me, and I whispered, "Send my head maid in here. I need her to identify a face."

He nodded quickly and hastily went off.

"Fei Ruo," I sipped lightly on the vessel. "You aren't pregnant."

"I am! I-It's just not with His Majesty!" she shrieked.

The Emperor furrowed his eyebrows. His temper was hot and ready, and not in a good way. I could relate. I was speechless at the ridiculousness she was willing to go to save her reputation. Either way, she was going to be digging her own grave.

Fei Ruo looked up at him. "Your Majesty! Someone had forced himself onto me and... I think the baby could be his! I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to..."

"Who is it?" I softened my tone.

"Lan Yun! It was Lan Yun! He... He did it!" she yelled it out. Her eyes were red, burning with tears as she faced the Emperor.

I didn't want to believe her. There was no way Jaxon would do such things like that...  But I didn't know him that much. Could he have? ... He has been sneaking in my palace but it was obvious if Jaxon ever sneaked into the core of the harem.

Jaxon was well admired by the women in the harem, no doubt about it. He did tell me this. Could it be that Fei Ruo chose him due to her own liking for him?

I was waiting for her to say more, but she didn't. Inside of me, I was fuming. "When was this?"

"It was the night of the polo game!" she cried.

No... No... That was impossible... This story was pure lies. I couldn't even be in the close proximity of her because I was afraid I'd kill her myself. Although Jaxon and I weren't on speaking terms, I couldn't let her falsely accuse him like that. Jaxon hadn't done it. It was nearly impossible for him to.

Because he was with me.

But I couldn't tell the Emperor that. I couldn't tell him that Jaxon would sneak into my estate and we would talk. It would jeopardize both of our lives and I didn't want that. I wanted both of us to go home in one piece.

If anything, I had to tell the truth. I had to confess to the Emperor.

While keeping my eyes on Fei Ruo, I turned to get his attention. He had his thinking face on and didn't notice me. I didn't want to interrupt him, so I looked away. I needed him to know, fast. Jaxon was depending on me.

"Your Majesty—" I began.

"That's impossible! Lan Yun was with me! We were discussing Minister Feng's betrayal," he breathed.

What? Wait, now I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm really lost.

"I—No... That's not... I—" Fei Ruo began to stammer, she gripped her knees tightly as she struggled to speak. She was speechless.

Jaxon was with me. I could've sworn he was with me. He stayed with me for a couple of hours that night. We talked and he was tired so he left... Unless I was going insane. Unless I was imagining our conversation.

I wanted to ask the Emperor. But his gaze fixated on Fei Ruo. His eyebrows were still furrowed.

She groaned in defeat. "I... Your Majesty, I have nothing to say."

"So you lied?" I asked.

"I lied! I did because you wanted to execute me because I attempted to frame you! I lied, Empress, I lied! I said I was pregnant so you wouldn't hurt me," she nearly screamed at me. "I'd do it again! I wish I could do it again and it will be successful next time!"

The Emperor widened his eyes at me. "Empress, you didn't inform me?"

"Your Majesty, I assumed she was carrying a child," I sighed. "I didn't want to get you worked up, and I didn't want to punish her for that... I didn't want to harm the Imperial bloodline."

"Her Majesty is benevolent," Hua Yang nodded. We gave each other a smirk.

"If anything, I would have still believed you," the Emperor gave me a firm nod. "I'll always take your side. Please tell me if anyone tries to attempt such things again, Empress."

"Fei Ruo, you lied to me and faked your pregnancy, then blamed it on one of my most trusted men," the Emperor barked. "You tried to frame the Empress! ... This cannot be acceptable, but your father is one of the best ministers I could ask for..."

I tried to hide the grimace I had on my face. Fei Ruo would not die, unfortunately. How sick and cruel was I to hope for her death?

He shook his head and looked at the eunuchs. "Thirty lashes and banish her from the Palace."

They nodded.

The men who were in charge of recording significance were busy writing quickly on the scrolls. As I watched them, my head maid entered through another doorway and stood beside me. I whispered in her ear, "Which one is it?"

She pointed at the maid on the far left. "That one, Your Majesty."

I squinted at the maid. She was wearing a light pink hanfu. Even when she was looking down, I could tell that she was young. It almost saddened me that I'd have to get her executed as well, but I could've died. It was these words I thought of: be empathetic and give your enemies another chance or get rid of them completely.

As always, I chose the second option.

"Your Majesty," I spoke. He turned to me. "My head maid informed me that a maid was the one to test the poison."

My head maid nodded. "Your Majesty, she suggested that she could test for poisoning instead... I was foolish enough to believe her..."

The Emperor gritted his teeth. "Which one?"

"That one, Your Majesty," my head maid pointed to my almost-murderer. As I turned to pay attention to the maid, she was already looking up at us.

More begging for forgiveness, more apologies. The Emperor looked tired and in a blink of an eye, the maid and Fei Ruo were being dragged out of the hall. I wondered what would happen to Fei Ruo's household, as she tried to assassinate the Empress—which was me. I forget that sometimes.

Hua Yang and the Emperor spoke for a little bit, but I was busy being distracted about what had happened and how Jaxon was there with the Emperor.

"We need to further advance the pregnancy testing methods," I heard Hua Yang say. "It may not be as accurate as we thought it'd be."

"I will allow more funding for healthcare. I will also give you permission to research further into it if you want to," the Emperor responded.

The thought of me imagining Jaxon wasn't sitting well with me. I could've sworn Jaxon was with me. If Jaxon wasn't, and he was with the Emperor... Why was he there with him so late at night? Perhaps they were...

No... Of course not. Jaxon was straight. So was the Emperor... I think.

I internally giggled to myself. If they were having an affair, then that would be very ironic, knowing that I was juggling them months ago.

It couldn't hurt to ask, right? Just for my sanity.

"Why were you and Lan Yun discussing Minister Feng?" I asked.

"Lan Yun wasn't there with me," he smirked. "That was a test to see if Noble Consort Gao was lying or not."