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P E T E R
My lids grow heavier as the minutes tick by and I struggle to keep my eyes open. Despite my exhaustion, I haven't been able to bring myself to fall asleep. But sleep was determined to pull me in this time.
As my eyes threaten to droop close, a soft shuffling sound that comes from between the sheets snaps them wide open again.
Nerissa stirs in her sleep- if you could even call it that considering it has lasted for the past two days. Slowly, her eyes flicker open and though they manage to find me in the dark, they look glazed over and far away.
"Hey, you. How are you feeling." I ask, sitting forward in my chair and bringing her hand that I had clutched in mine to my lips for a kiss.
She doesn't reply me for a minute, her brows creased in confusion as she stares at me.
"Nerissa." I say softly, cupping her cheek, "Darling, it's me."
She blinks slowly at me, her eyes far away. I notice that her eyes are more dull than usual, a brunt orange rather than their usual fiery shade.
Finally, her eyes light up in realisation and the colour of her eyes start to brighten.
"What happened?" She asked, her voice still thick from just waking up.
"You tell me, darling." I reply, brushing her hair away from her face, "You pass out for two days and no one here could figure out why you wouldn't wake up."
Shock colours her features as she sits up in our bed in a hurry.
"Two days?" She breathes.
"Easy." I guide her by her shoulders back until she's lying down again.
Sinking down by her side, I take her hand in mine again. My eyes hold hers as hoping that I can convey the seriousness of the situation through them.
"I know something isn't right with you, Nerissa." I start, "And for some reason, you're refusing to tell me why that is."
"I've just been feeling a little tired. That's all." She replies, her eyes darting around the room, giving away her nervousness.
"Darling, there's nothing out there that you can't tell me, you know that right?"
She nods, her lips pulling into a smile that looks so forced it looks unnatural on her face.
"Of course, I do."
I sit forward, "Then, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, Peter." She says, "I'm fine."
Frustration fills my chest accompanied by a sense of sadness seeing as to how she feels like she couldn't tell me and had to resort to lying.
Nerissa was a great warrior, but unfortunately for her, being a good liar to those she cared about was not part of her laundry list of skills.
"Nerissa-" I start but is quickly cut off by her.
"I said I'm fine, Peter. Can we please drop this?" She pleads, "I'm tired and I just really want to rest right now."
As much as I wanted her to get her rest, I knew that if I agreed to let this go, I would never get the answers needed to help her.
I let out a sigh in resignation before pulling her to my chest. Her skin feels clammy and cold, unlike the warmth she normally exudes.
"I'm sorry for scaring you." She mumbles into my shoulder.
I'm sorry for scaring you. Her words bounce around in my head. It wasn't if I scared you. Because anyone with eyes could see the effect this girl has on me and how seeing her in that state had left fear embedded deep in my chest. The bags under my eyes are proof of sleepless night caused by the immense worry of never being able to see her again.
"Promise me you'll tell me what's wrong when you're ready?" I say, not opposed to begging if she continues to refuse because whatever the case may be, I would never let her go through it alone.
*
N E R I S S A
I awake to an empty room. The moon stares back at me through our open window and the cold night air caresses my face. Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes.
I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I was certain Peter was still by my side when I did. Now, here I was in our room, not sure if Peter was just gone doing his duties as King and checking up on our people or something terribly wrong had happened while I was asleep.
Worry pounds at my chest at the thought of the possibility of Miraz somehow managing to invade our camp one way or another all while I was out like a light.
I jump to my feet to get dressed, but as I'm reaching for my gear, a familiar wave of nausea hits me, making me sick to my stomach.
The rhythmic pounding of my heart was not only growing louder in my ears as the seconds went by, but it was also quickly picking up speed.
A sharp pain spreads through my stomach, causing me to clutch at it in pain. Cold sweat was starting to trickle down the side of my face.
My stomach churned as I tried to hold it in as nausea clawed relentlessly at my throat.
Before my brain could comprehend, I feel myself lurching forward, my knees buckling under me as I sunk to the floor.
Warm watery liquid spilt from my mouth in what felt like an endless stream onto the concrete floor before me, staining it a dark brownish-red until I had emptied what little content I had in my stomach, leaving my heaving.
My eyes lock on the specks that sprinkle the mess that I've made. This time, I already knew what the were- fire-flower- that only further confirms my suspicions.
The loud knock on my door jerks me out of my daze and I quickly push myself to my feet, despite them threatening to give up on me any second.
I slide the lock to my door in place-which, unfortunately, produces an audible click.
"Nerissa? Are you alright?" Caspian's voice sounds through the door, "Why'd you lock it?"
"I'm fine, Caspian." I answer, failing to hide the shakiness to my voice, "You should go. I need to be alone right now."
There's a beat of silence, and I could practically hear my brother's contemplating thoughts through the door.
Finally, he says. "I'm not leaving, Nerissa. Let me in."
"Leave, Caspian."
"Not until I make sure you're okay." His reply is almost immediate as if he could sense that something is wrong, "Open the door."
"Caspian, I said-"
"Now, Nerissa." He cuts me off.
I could hear the finality in his voice, and knowing my brother, he wouldn't be opposed to sitting outside my room like a sulking child until I did as he asked- much like a certain other man in my life.
Grabbing a rug from the bathroom, I start frantically wiping up my vomit, cleaning it up as quickly as I could.
"Nerissa!" Caspian's voice grows more worried by the minute, "Open up."
"Just a minute!" I yell back.
To his credit, he does give me a minute. However, as soon as that minute passes, he begins knocking on my door relentlessly.
As soon as I'm done, I toss the rug in the sink and wash my hands before making my way to my room door and throwing it open.
"See? Didn't I say I was fine?" I shoot Caspian a look even though I felt anything but.
Caspian narrows his eyes at me before pushing past me and into my room with his sight set on the bathroom door which I'd made the mistake of leaving slightly ajar.
"Caspian, don't!" I yell after him, but it was already too late.
He pauses at the door, staring at the soiled rugs in the sink, before turning to me.
"Tell me what's going on." He demands, jabbing a finger towards the rugs. "No more lies, sister."
His eyes hold mine and it kills me to see the way they're looking at me now, with so much worry and a hint of disappointment. I still remember how we told each other everything when we were younger.
The secrets were starting to take their toll, claiming their price and eating away at me from the inside.
"My body's rejecting the fire-flower juice." The words come spilling out of me as if my body couldn't physically keep them in for a second longer.
Caspian's brows pull closer together, "What does that mean?"
"It means it's only a matter of time before death catches up to me." I swallow, "Right now, I'm only hanging on by a thread, Caspian. One that's ready snap at any moment."
I watch as the blood drains from Caspian's face and his eyes gloss over.
"Why is this happening?" He asks.
"It's too much fire for my body to handle."
"But fire practically runs through your veins, Nerissa." Caspian runs a hand roughly through his hair, making his frustrations even clearer.
My lips tremble as they stretch into a sad smile, "Too much of anything is never a good thing to anyone. Give a plant too much water and it dies." I explain, "And fire on fire is one hell of a deadly combination, Cas."
"Tell me what I can do." He says, eyes filled with determination.
I shake my head because I think deep down we both know that finding a cure is like chasing something impossible to obtain.
We bathe in the silence that falls upon us. Then, Caspian pulls me into his arms, and for the first time in a long time- I breakdown, and so does my brother, crying into each other's shoulder and letting the presence of the other bring us at least a little comfort.