Chapter 14

Atticus woke in a daze and scrambled to find his phone so that he could see just how noticeable his absence had been. He hadn’t meant to take the pills first thing in the morning, they were sleep aids for christ's sake, but he had just been so damn exhausted; he’d gotten them down before even considering how this might look to everyone else. Atticus had never had a substance abuse issue in his life, in fact he avoided taking much of anything outside of aspirin and the occasional alcoholic beverage or two, but now it was starting to look like he might have a problem.

When he’d finally managed to extract his phone from within the tangled mass of sweaty sheets he’d woken up in, he was shocked to see that it was close to one in the morning. He’d been out like a light all day it seemed and though he had a vague memory of Joe coming in to check on him, it didn’t seem like anyone had cared. Unsure of how he felt about this, Atticus gathered some clean clothes from the mess that was his room and put them on. A few minutes later he found himself out in the empty common area. The lights had sprung to life as he’d entered the place, but without knocking on a single door he could tell a handful of people had gone.

Realizing what must have happened, Atticus hurried out of the common area and up to Margaret’s office. The production floor was a little creepy at this time of night and the lights didn’t seem to be automated like they were back in the living spaces, so Atticus was careful as he approached the small comm that would allow him to ask Kim to buzz him in. He pressed the button twice but to no avail. Wherever Kim and Margaret were, it wasn’t here. Unsure of what to do now, Atticus went back down the metal staircase and decided to poke around a little. If he didn’t find anyone, he’d go wake Joe up. Even if everyone else had gone, Atticus was fairly sure his old friend would still be here.

Passing through the common area, Atticus made his way to the EDTF specific spaces that Margaret had provided for them. The workout room was empty, as was the investigative area, though the garage provided him with some clues as to what had happened. The transport vans were all gone and the gear racks looked suspiciously sparse. In addition to all this, the garage door was wide open and Atticus decided it was probably best that he closed it before heading back inside to bother Joe.

As he reached the button that would close the garage door, he stopped. Just outside the doorway, in the office chair he had stolen for himself, was Kim. The young woman looked bone tired and, to his shock and slight amusement, she was positively burning through cigarettes, the evidence both in her hand and strewn around her feet.

“Didn’t peg you as much of a smoker,” Atticus said softly as he joined the woman.

Kim didn’t seem startled by his late night intrusion. “I’m not really,” she said. “Just feel the urge sometimes when things get heavy. New gate opened while you were asleep.”

“I figured as much,” Atticus said. “Not Michigan I assume?”

“Arizona,” she said, tossing her finished cigarette into the pile at her feet and lighting up another one without skipping a beat. “Allen and the Order people couldn’t be rerouted on the fly so it’s just Hughes, Morales and Talbot with Jabari, Olivia and Noah as back up.”

“I’m sure that has Allen in a wonderful mood,” Atticus said, lighting his own cigarette.

“Pretty sure he’s done if this doesn’t go well,” Kim said back. “Margaret thinks so too.”

“When should everyone be arriving?” Atticus said, referring to Arizona.

“Already there,” Kim said. “Hughes called off any sort of night operation so they’re waiting until morning. The Raven’s with them though so that’s good. Might be our best chance of pulling this off.”

Atticus said nothing to this, but puffed away at his cig while he thought. He knew Margaret wanted them staying on top of these new gates, but he’d always known that Florida couldn’t be the norm. In all likelihood things weren’t as bad as they seemed, though he could easily be wrong about that. “Did anyone notice that I was, uh, indisposed?” Atticus asked as the silence between them grew awkward.

“Father Rigali found you after your second round of pills and let Margaret know you’d be out for a while. I’m sure the others noticed you weren’t around, but no one said anything if that’s what you mean,” Kim said, looking up at him. “Are you doing better? I know Margaret can be a nightmare when she’s in her moods, but throwing Mr. Andrews in your face like that was a bit much, even for her.”

“I’m fine,” Atticus said. “I honestly just needed sleep and lost track of time. Not as much for me to do around here as I’m used to.” It was only half true, but he wasn’t going to pour his heart out to this poor girl even if this was the longest conversation the two of them had ever had.

“Ok,” the woman said, but even with her single word answer Atticus could hear her skepticism. “She knows you know?”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Knows what?” Atticus asked distractedly as he lit another smoke.

“That she’s been too rough on you,” Kim said. “That you aren’t a bad man.”

“Nice of you to say kid,” Atticus laughed, “but you don’t know the half of it.”

“Afraid I do,” Kim said back to him. “I can’t forgive what you put her through, but I know people can change. Seems like you might have.”

“Could have,” Atticus sighed. “Doesn’t feel much like it though. Seems like I’m just making the same mistakes over and over again no matter how many chances life gives me to get it right.”

“I know the feeling,” Kim laughed.

“At your age, I’d hope not,” Atticus said back honestly. “So it’s just you, me and the priests?”

“Well Lehman and Rigali,” Kim said. “Like I mentioned earlier, Jabari went with the others to Arizona. Used to be in the Egyptian army or something?”

“Really?” Atticus said, legitimately stunned by this news.

“Apparently,” Kim said, getting up out of the office chair and ditching what looked to be her last cigarette as she did. “It’d be an insane thing to lie about under the circumstances.”

“It’s just that those guys don’t have the best reputation,” Atticus said. “Hard to see him going from that life to a priest’s.”

“Stranger things have happened,” Joe’s voice said from behind them.

Atticus saw Kim’s back go rigid as Joe joined them from the garage. “I think I’ll be headed to bed now,” she said coldly to Atticus. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks,” Atticus said as the young woman went back inside, not acknowledging Joe once as she did.

“Still not my biggest fan,” Joe sighed once Kim had gone.

“Try not being such a pain in the ass,” Atticus said, but there was no harshness behind his words. “Thanks for checking on me earlier. Sorry you had to deal with that.”

“It was nothing,” Joe said, punctuating the sentence with a loud yawn.

“What are you doing up this early?” Atticus asked the priest.

“Heard you wandering around and figured I’d see what you were up to. Didn’t want everyone being gone to worry you,” Joe said.

“Kim filled me in. How’s Margaret handling everything?” Atticus asked.

“She wanted you with her,” Joe told him. “Wasn’t happy she had to go it alone, but what does she expect when she treats people like she does?”

“Look Joe, I don’t want to fight about it, but maybe you need to consider that the woman acts the way she does because of us. It doesn’t excuse how she is, but it might explain it. I know you think it was all too long ago for her to still be so angry over it, but that’s because you’re not the one it happened to. Just try not to antagonize her from here on out ok? If not for her than for me.” Atticus knew Joe would acquiesce to his request, but he still hated having to say it.

“I’ll do my best,” Joe agreed. “What are your plans for the night? Sleep probably isn’t in the cards I’m guessing.”

“Actually I think I could use some real sleep,” Atticus lied. “Those pills knock me out like a light, but I never feel well rested after I take them.” Truth be told, he was wide awake and likely would be for awhile, but he knew if he told Joe this the man would stay by his side all night. As much as Atticus was growing to appreciate his old friend, he really didn’t need a whole night of being fawned over by Joe Rigali right now.

“That’s why I’ve never tried them,” Joe nodded as he and Atticus entered the garage and closed the heavy metal door. “All I hear are bad things.”

The two of them chatted as they returned to the dorms and Joe accompanied Atticus all the way to his door before saying, “You sure you’re ok Atticus?”

“I’m fine, Joe,” Atticus said. “I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t hesitate to wake me up if anything happens.”

“Of course,” Joe said. “Good night Atticus.”

“Night Joe,” Atticus said as he closed the door and found himself alone in his room.

With no intention of sleeping after being comatose for almost a day and a half at this point, Atticus began searching his room for the little bottle of pills Margaret had given him. He was definitely wary of the little bastards after yesterday, but he’d rather be out cold for the next few hours if he could be. Yet no matter where he searched, he could not find the pills to save his life. Giving up after his third or fourth trip around the room, Atticus realized Joe or Margaret must have taken them.

Trying not to let the shame now building up inside him overwhelm him, Atticus changed his sheets and laid back down in bed. Lying there in the silence, he looked up at the ceiling and tried not to fixate on his missing pills. With nothing better to do, Atticus tried to think of something enjoyable to take his mind off the dark matters that had been filling it lately.

Without warning he was back in Ohio, he was barely sixteen and he and Jack were side by side in his father’s old pickup truck. Atticus’ father had given him the old piece of junk after he’d gotten a new vehicle for himself the summer before Atticus’ junior year of highschool. Margaret’s parents hadn’t let her ride around in cars with boys at that point, a good rule on their part all things considered, and Joe had had a car of his own, though it was nothing compared to Atticus’ truck. This had left Jack as his wing man more often than not and the two of them had spent countless weekends just cruising around the sticks together with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

The memory elicited a weak smile, but it hurt more than it helped. He couldn’t picture Jack’s youthful, carefree face without seeing its older counterpart right next to it, as pale and lifeless as it had been the day they’d put him in the ground. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to force the now melancholy thought from his mind to no avail.

Trying not to let himself get too worked up, he wondered just who had taken his ambien and what he would need to do to get it back. He really needed those goddamn pills.