On Saturday, I have Harrison drop me at my parentsâ estate about an hour after the party starts. He has some errands to run, so I tell him to goâwith strict instructions to pick me up in exactly three hours.
Itâs not that I donât like my family, theyâre great. But only in small doses. If I spend too much time with them . . . well, youâll see.
My steps echo through the immense marble foyer. I pass the music room, the front parlor, the conservatory, the library where a portrait hangs of me at five years old, dressed in blue overalls and a capâlooking like the pansy-ass kid in the Dutch Boy paint advertisements but with dark hair. Iâve offered my mother the firstborn child Iâll probably never have to take it downâbut she wonât budge. If Stanton, Jake, or Sofia ever lay eyes on it, Iâm screwed.
At the back of the house thereâs a bustling energy coming from the kitchen that you can feel more than hearâservants shuffling, refilling trays of champagne and caviar and carrying buckets of ice to keep the lobster and oyster table fresh.
Outside, there are tents and tables, a band, and a fully stocked bar with two bartenders. What there isnât are streamers or shiny balloons, no clowns or magiciansâeven though this is supposed to be a kidsâ party. Because in reality, this kind of party is for the two hundred adults milling about, chatting, shaking hands, kissing cheeks, and stabbing backs.
Yes, I said two hundredâjust friends and family.
See, my father is the youngest of eight. My mother, the youngest of twelve. And both sides are in excellent healthâthey all live for fucking ever. Which means thereâs nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, great nieces and nephews, and cousins galoreâand the gangâs all here.
Besides good health, thereâs another trait thatâs strong in my family. One might say theyâre . . . eccentric. Crazier than shit-house rats works too.
Letâs take my Aunt Bette, for example. Sheâs the woman in the tan dress, looking up into the branches of that maple treeâtalking to the birds like a homeless woman in a park. She has four kids and she doesnât speak to any of themânot for years. She prefers the company of her racing pigeons. I think sheâs won awards.
Itâs important to have a purpose in life. Boredom has killed more in my social class than cancer and heart disease combined. Because most people work for things like food, a house, and clothes, and working for those necessities instills drive and ambition. It gives you a reason to drag yourself out of bed in the morning.
But when your necessities are coveredâwhen you literally donât have to wipe your own ass if you donât want toâwhat the hell do you do with yourself?
If youâre stupid, you do drugs, drink, or gamble to occupy your time. Boredom is a disease. Either you cure it doing something you loveâor you die trying.
âHey, cuz.â
Then thereâs my cousin Louis, a smarmy, short guy with a bad comb-over. Wealth turns some men into assholes, but even if he didnât have two pennies to rub together, heâd still be an asshole. He was just born that way.
âLouis.â I shake his hand.
Notice, I donât ask him how heâs doingââcause heâs gonna tell me anyway.
âIâm doing great, man. I just closed this sweet real-estate deal. Prime location. Iâm gonna tear the building down and turn it into a parking lot. My guy is serving an eviction notice to the old tenantsânuns and orphans or something.â He guffaws like an evil villain. âBut thatâs business, amiright?â
âNot really.â
He doesnât hear meâthe roar of his narcissism drowns out everything but the sound of his own voice.
I notice his gaze settle on the ass of a brunette to my right. âWow, Cynthia Beardsley grew up nice.â Then he glances at me. âAunt Kitty get you married, yet?â
âNope.â
He chortles again. âWe all have to walk the plank someday. Iâll bet you a bottle of Royal Salute 50 she has you engaged by the end of the year.â
âYouâre on.â I hold out my hand again and we shake on it. Louis may be a twat, but Iâm not above taking a ten-thousand-dollar bottle of scotch off his hands.
I spot my father a few yards across the lawn and head in his direction. Looks-wise I take after himâtall, thick dark hair, blue eyes, and a face that appears fifteen years younger than his actual sixty-five.
We shake hands and he pats my shoulder affectionately. âSon.â
âHey, Dad.â
He sips his brandy. âHow are the criminals these days?â
And here we go.
My father was never a fan of coasting by on the clout of oneâs last name. During my teen years, family dinners were like the Spanish Inquisition: What have you contributed today? How have you distinguished yourself? What will you be remembered for? When I started law school, he got it in his head that I should go into politicsâbecome Prosecutor Brent Mason, then Attorney General Brent Mason, eventually Senator Brent Masonâafter that itâd be to infinity and beyond.
Instead, I became a criminal defense attorney. And I donât think the old manâs ever gotten over it.
âTheyâre defendants, Dad. Not criminals.â
âIs there a difference?â
âIâm sure it makes a difference to the innocent ones.â
Okay, almost none of them are innocent. But people rarely do illegal things just for the sake of doing themâthereâs always extenuating circumstances. Evening out the playing field for those who werenât born with a silver spoon up their ass is what gets me out of bed in the morning.
âI play racquetball with a higher-up in the DOJ,â he says.
My father plays racquetball with everybody. But heâs not a name dropper. Because to him, money and connections are like Fight Clubâthe first rule of having them is you donât talk about them.
âTheyâre always looking for good menâkeep it in mind, Brent.â
I tap my temple. âItâs in the filing cabinet.â
âBrent, sweetie, youâre here,â my mother says in that soft, breathy voice as she walks up beside me.
Everything about my mother is hushed, gentle, delicate. Like a rose whose petals will fall off if you blow on it. Sheâs never cursed, doesnât raise her voiceânot even when I was seven and they had to take me to the emergency room because I jammed popcorn kernels up my nose just to see how many would fit. (Twenty-three, in case you were curious.)
âHi, Mom.â I lean down and kiss her cheek.
She runs her hand over the fabric of my light blue polo shirt. âThis is a very nice color on you, dear.â
âThanks.â
Her gaze drifts over me adoringly. âWalk with me, Brent.â
Oh shit.
My mother saying walk with me is akin to a woman youâre dating saying, âwe need to talkââit never ends well.
She loops her arm through mine and we stroll across the grass, away from the crowd.
âIâve been reading a lot recently,â she begins. âAnd thinking. Youâre thirty-two years old, darlingâyouâre handsome, youâre a fine dresser, you dance wellâyouâve always been very clean.â
The last comment has me looking at her funny, but I let her go on.
âTalula Fitzgibbonsâs son is about your age, and he recently told her that heâs become a homosexual.â
Oh boy.
âNot only that, heâs also hired a lovely surrogate and sheâs expecting triplets. Isnât that amazing, Brent? Triplets!â
âMomââ
But that train has left the station.
âSo I wanted you to know, if you are a homosexual, your father and I will love you every bit as much as we do right now.â She pats my arm and amends, âAs long as you have children.â
âIâm not gay, Mom.â
She looks disappointed. âAre you sure?â
âMom, Iâm as not gay as a man can possibly be.â
Her dainty finger taps her lips as she thinks it over. âWell, all right. Then Iâd like you to chat with Celia Hampshireâs granddaughter. Sheâs here and sheâs a lovely young lady.â
âCelia Hampshireâs granddaughter is in high school.â
âNoâshe graduated last month.â
I pinch the bridge of my nose. âOkay . . . Iâm gonna go to the bar. Now. Can we talk about this later?â
âOf course, sweetie. Iâm so happy youâre here.â
And because I love her and Iâm a good son, I lie, âMe too.â
My mother glides back toward my father and I head to the bar. It really shouldâve been my first stop.
I make it three steps and then an arm coils around mine and my hip gets bumped hard. âBut are you sure youâre not a homosexual? You realize youâre keeping Aunt Kit out of the in-crowd?â
I pull my cousin Katherine into a tight hug. âThank Christ youâre here.â
Her dark eyes sparkle as she laughs. âWhy, because Iâm your only normal relative?â
âYes, thatâs exactly why.â
Katherineâs also my favorite cousin. Boisterous and loudâwith the kind of smile you canât help but return. When we were young and my other cousins said I was too littleâtoo annoyingâto play some stupid game, Katherine made sure I was included. When I turned twenty-one, she showed up at my college and took me out for my very first legal beer. You donât get to choose family, but if you didâKatherine would be my first round draft pick.
Her four-year-old son collides with my leg, followed quickly by his two-year-old sister.
âUncle Brent!â she squeals.
I scoop her up. âAnnie, baby.â
I look down at Jonathon. âWhatâs up, dude?â
He tilts his head back, still gripping my leg. âI go poops on the potty now.â
âWelcome to manhood.â I give him a high five, which he jumps to return.
Annie squirms in my arms, so I set her down and they run in circles around us. I glance behind Katherine. âWhereâs Patrick?â
She shrugs, and the sparkle in her eyes dims. âHeâs in Portugal, on âbusinessâ with his secretary.â
Patrick is Katherineâs husband, whose ass Iâm going to kick hard the next time I see him.
âCome on, donât get angry,â she soothes. âIt is what it is.â
âWhat it is, is fucked up. Why do you put up with that?â
She shrugs. âBecause when heâs around, heâs actually a good husband and father. Because the kids love himâand so do I.â
âYou deserve better, Kat. A lot better.â
âHeâs what I want.â
I shake my head as Annie pulls on the leg of my jeans and points toward some bushes. âUncle Brent, I wants da butterfly, but it wonât come.â
âOkay, letâs you and me and Jonathon go get us a butterfly.â
I get a grateful smile from Katherine, then I hoist the boy over my shoulders and the three of us go hunting.
â¢Â  â¢Â  â¢
Two hours later, I look across the yard at the crowd of chattering, monochromatic people. All of them so eager to clone each other, to not be labeled as too flashy or ostentatious. Itâs a sea of beigeâtan slacks, taupe summer dresses, and one pair of light brown Ray-Ban sunglasses after another.
Until a burst of red steps out from under the white party tent.
Maybe this afternoon wonât be a total loss, after all.
The dress is tastefully alluringâknee-length, sleeveless, a corded neckline that loops around the collarbone and ties in the back. But the body within it is the real highlight. Sheâs tiny but unmistakably womanlyâwarm peach-hued skin, an elegant neck, delicate arms, a slight swell of cleavage, a tight waist, and toned legs with the sweetest hint of muscle. Her hair is thick, a multifaceted blondâpale, almost white strands grace her dainty jawâbut thereâs shades of honey-gold and caramel leading back to a low bun.
Sheâs fucking stunning. I have no idea who she isâbut finding out just became my number-one priority.
She spots me as I approach. Bright turquoise eyes, sharp and appraising, rake me over from head to toe. Enjoy the view, baby. Iâll be happy to give her the extended tour later on.
âHi,â I say, smiling when I reach her.
She raises her chin, straightening her shoulders. âHello.â
Thereâs something familiar about her. It tickles the back of my brain and stirs my cock. I wonder if sheâs a friend of my cousinsââpossibly a bridesmaid I hooked up with at one of their weddings?
âEnjoying the party?â
Her gaze turns toward the crowd as she sips from the crystal flute in her hand. âYes. Iâm sure the birthday girl is ecstatic. Caviar and champagneâwhat every one-year-old wants.â
Sarcasm. I like sarcasm. It suggests intelligence. Confidence.
I like her ass even moreâwhich Iâve discreetly checked out.
âWord around the country club is youâve gone into business on your own,â she comments casually. âGot yourself a law firm with your name on it.â
Her tits are pretty phenomenal too. A little on the small side, no more than a B cupâbut I just bet theyâre firm and perky and magically delicious. The kind that can forego a bra, so her nipples poke against her shirt when sheâs turned on. I love that look on a woman.
âYes, almost two years now. Weâve built quite a name for ourselves.â
âYou must be so proud.â
âI am.â
She lifts one shoulder. âI think itâs pretentious as hell.â
My eyes snap to her face. âI beg your pardon?â
âItâs a farce. The brave young defense attorney, giving up the big-paycheck firm to serve the little people.â Her voice turns derisive. âItâs easy to be brave when you have Great-Grandpaâs money behind you.â
My brow furrows. âThatâs pretty presumptuous of you.â
âNo, whatâs presumptuous is thinking you can walk over here, ogle my tits and ass, and assume I wonât call you on it.â
Guess I wasnât as discreet as I thought.
âIs ogleable a word? Cause if it isâyouâre it. A lot of women would take it as a compliment.â
She faces me head-on. âA lot of women are idiots. And not as knowledgeable as I am about what a selfish, immature little prick you can be.â
Little? I resent thatâparticularly in such close proximity to the word prick.
âWho the hell are you?â
She stares at me for two beats. Then she throws her head back and laughs.
âMy God. Of all the ways I pictured this going, I never considered youâd totally forget me. But I guess I shouldnât be surprisedâI was pretty forgettable back in the day.â
âWhat does that evenââ
A womanâs voice calls âKennedy!â cutting me offâand knocking me on my proverbial ass.
Mitzy Randolph, one of my motherâs oldest friends and our next-door neighbor, walks up and plants two air kisses on the blond beauty at my side.
âIâve been waiting for you to arrive,â she tells her.
âIâve been here for twenty minutes, Mother.â
Holy fuck.
Mrs. Randolph turns to me, her arm around her daughterâs back. âIsnât it wonderful that our Kennedy has come home, Brent?â
And all I can do is parrot like an idiot. âYeah . . . wonderful.â
Mitzy steps back, takes her daughterâs hands, and holds them up at her sidesâlooking her over, judging and evaluatingâjust like the good old days. âIâm so happy to have you out of Nevada. All those nasty casinos and dust and desert.â She caresses her cheek. âThat dry air has wreaked havoc on your skin. Iâll make you an appointment with my esthetician this weekâsheâs a miracle worker.â
Kennedy gives a resigned sigh. âThank you, Mother.â
âNow Iâll let you two get reacquainted. I see the Vanderblasts are here and if I donât spend at least ten minutes with Ellora sheâll work herself into a snit.â
When weâre alone again, I canât stop staring. Once upon a time she was my best friend. For a hot minute she was more. After that, she hated me. And then she was just . . . gone.
I havenât seen her for fourteen years, and the last time I did, she sure as shit didnât look like this.
âKennedy . . . ?â I whisper, still not entirely convinced itâs her.
She regards me with a tilted head, a cocked hip, and a disdainful smile. âHello, Dickhead.â
Okay. Now Iâm convinced.