Chapter 15: 15 Discussing feelings

Maya left seconds ago but Mister Muscle isn’t saying a word. If I don’t say something soon we are going to sit here for a long time, and I want to leave.

“So,” I start the conversation, “tell me more about the mating stuff.”

His green eyes are focused on me with so much adoration and yet, he doesn’t know me. Maybe this will teach me something about mating too.

“You are mine, mine to love, mine to protect. My future wife and mother of my children.” By the last sentence, he was about to touch my stomach.

“Stop,” I say, and he withdraws, going back to holding my hand.

“You know that you scared me, right?” I ask. That is the truth. He was terrifying,claiming me in front of everyone, telling me how he owns me and that I am going to bear his children. This is peculiar. Never in my lifetime have I felt so weird in my own body. A couple of days ago he was claiming me and I was terrified. Now I am more in control of my emotions, and I think it helps the situation.

“That was my wolf. I’m sorry about how he handled the situation; he is not quite developed. I wish we met under different circumstances.” He gives me a shy smile, and suddenly I am living for it. He looks ready to open up more.

“Why do I feel so weird?”

“We are meant to be together.” He explains like that’s it. Not enough for me.

I roll my eyes. My mistake for not being crystal clear. “I feel like a weight is lifted off my chest, but I’m also still very confused.” I look into his green eyes, and watch him stand up and start pacing.

“I never thought I would be mated. I think we have a stronger connection than every other mated couple I have met.” He stops pacing, checking to see if I can follow his story. So far so good.

“Basically, there are different tiers that classify the strength of mating bonds. I think we are connected on a very high level, even if you are human. My wolf doesn’t want to leave you for a second, all I can think about is you.”

I nod and try not to zone out. I slept for days and I am feeling spent already.

“But still, something seems off. Every time you say my name, I feel joy and goosebumps appear. But if I say Violet, you don’t feel that.”

I look at my healthy arm and he is right.

“Also, you don’t feel my touch like other mated couples do.” He looks hurt and it doesn’t sit right with me.

“I do feel your touch. It is different from other people.” He stops pacing and comes to my bedside. “Do you feel tingling through your body? Warm fuzzy feelings, feeling protected and safe?” He takes my hand in his and I shake my head.

“No. Maybe a little, I am not sure.” He takes my hand off the bed, guiding it to his lips, kissing it softly. I don’t get the fuzzy feeling he is talking about.

“Sorry, maybe I am just not your mate.” I say very softly, knowing that the last person who asked almost lost a body part.

“Oh, Violet, you are.” He sighs and looks me deep in the eye. It feels like he is seeing my soul. “Maya thinks that my world full of wolves and other dangers is tough on you. That your body needs to relax and reset. Maybe then you will feel my touch differently and you will accept me. Or maybe it was the adrenaline the first time why you didn’t feel it, and now it is the medication you received. They might be blocking the mate bond. But I wish you could experience one of the elements I feel, so you would believe me.”

I let the words sink in. This strong and handsome man wants to spend the rest of his life with me because of a bond I don’t feel. I need to go back to Joe and Rose, and think about all of this. I feel safe there and I need to think.

“I don’t want to jump into this. I do believe that there is a connection. I feel it too. I don’t think it was a lucky shot that I ended up here. I need to know more about matings, but please, not now. My head is spinning and my arm still hurts. I want to go back to Joe’s and...” I couldn’t finish my speech because Mister Wolf was growling loudly, holding my legs down with his big hands.

“Don’t leave me, I just found you,” he whispers and places his head on mine.

Maya, Oliver, and the Alpha come in quickly[1]. We both ignore them.

“I want to try okay, but I need space and I can’t think about this here. I promise I won’t disappear and travel back to Holland. I’ll stay close to you, but I need to be in my own space.”

I hear his wolf wine, and he answers me. “Is it okay if Oliver and I stay close to you?”

“You can shadow me, but I need my space.” I whisper back.

Pleased with my answer, he takes a step back.

“Maya, she wants to go to Joe’s. Make as many house visits as you need to make sure my mate is safe and healthy.”

“Yes Beta,” she and the rest leave the room. Igétas takes a seat.

“Violet, I...”

“Wait, say my name again.” I say and he repeats.

“My parents named me Vi-o-let, that’s the Dutch way of saying it. Can you say it the Dutch way, pronouncing the O-sound in it?”

“So the pronunciation of your name is ‘’Vi-o-let’’?” he asks and we both see the little bumps on my arm.

“Yes,” I sigh, “that is my name.”