Chapter 11: 11 Finding answers

My arm starts to hurt, so I turn to Maya.

“How bad is it?”

“Not too bad. Amanda, take her to the pack’s hospital and don’t leave her side. I will come when the injured are counted.”

“Ela, inform the Beta about what happened. He’s probably still in the woods analyzing the situation. He needs to know about Violet. Amanda, don’t let anyone close to Violet, not even the Alpha. I don’t want her to go into shock. You have my permission to disobey the Alpha.”

Amanda rolls her eyes at that comment.

Maya starts giving orders to the rest of the pack, and I close my eyes and let Amanda carry me to the hospital. She runs quickly, and within a minute, I am in a hospital bed with her by my side.

She takes her job very seriously and doesn’t let anyone come near me. Not even a nurse to examine my wound. She has spunk, and I like it.

I’m still trying to process all that happened. It happened so fast. We were just running and playing around, and the next moment there was this weird attack. I try to make sense of the attack, to understand why it happened, but I can’t. Then my actions pop in my head.

I am not a quiet girl, more of a sassy person with confidence, raised by proud parents. But how the hell did I get the strength to kill a werewolf more powerful than me?

Amanda is sitting by my bedside and watching the door with her utmost attention. Completely alert and ready to act at a second’s notice.

“I have some questions,” I say, and she looks at me.

“I have some for you as well.”

The silence takes over the room again.

“Let’s trade answers?” I ask, and she nods.

“I will start with an easy one. How bad was the attack today?”

She looks at her hands and looks at me with teary eyes.

“It was bad, Violet. We lost, I think, three good people. About forty are hurt badly, and three hundred are slightly injured. They all are going to make it. Werewolves are fast healers, but if you hadn’t stopped their Alpha...” She was taking a deep breath. “If you hadn’t been here, I think there could have been about fifty deaths and the children would have been taken.”

She smiles at me and takes my hands in hers. “But you were there for us. And you did something incredible. Thank you, we don’t know how to repay you. That’s my question for you. How can I thank you for saving my community?”

Her smile says it all. I am her hero. How the hell did it come to this?

“Can you pay my ticket back to Holland?” I ask.

“You, you are leaving? But what about your school work?” she asks sadly.

“Amanda, I almost died two times in just one week. Can you blame me for wanting to go home to my family?”

I don’t know why I am not breaking down. I am calm, even though I am a little taken aback. Man, I killed someone. Someone who deserved it, but still.

“I am going to miss you.”

I smile at Amanda, “but you don’t know me.”

“Yes, I do,” she says, and her eyes light up again.

I try to ignore it and wink at her, “I won’t tell Oliver.”

I turn away, remembering the attack, and all playfulness is lost “’Well, I have more questions Amanda. Why didn’t the rogue just overpower me with his strength and speed? Why didn’t he just snap my neck?”

Amanda blinks when I talk about neck-snapping. “I-I don’t know for sure, but most rogues like to taunt their prey. Showing off dominance and overpowering their prey in just one move is dull. He underestimated you.”

“But wasn’t it easier for him to just let one of his men hit me and wound me?”

Amanda is knotting her brows, “Did he say something about keeping you?”

I wrap my arms around myself, “He said something about me being the future whore.”

She leans back a little seeing my defensive state.

“That might also explain why he let you live in the first place. I don’t know, Violet, rogues think different than us.”

I nod at her explanation and feel comfortable being with her. I consider telling her about my weird feelings during the attack. I gesture for her to come closer, whispering: “It was so weird, it felt as if I had this powerful persona inside my body to help me. I felt mighty and strong. I went from a scared little lamb to a fierce lioness.”

Amanda looks at me with great interest.

“It was like my adrenaline was waking me up, instead of...” what is the English word? “paralyzing me. Do you know that feeling? I even growled at the rogues. “why would that happen?” I ask, confused. She doesn’t answer.

“Amanda, I killed someone a lot stronger than me. I killed someone who was a bad person, but still, I killed him. How? How!” I scream at her, and the dam breaks.

I start to cry, and Amanda is hopping on my bed and hugging me. “I don’t know what is happening to me. Since the age of sixteen, every time America was mentioned, I had a pull to the country, to go there. And since I got here, the feeling only became stronger, but I was in danger two times already.” I turn my head and look her in the eyes, my eyes glassy.

“Amanda, you seem to know a lot about me. What is happening?” I ask her again.

“I don’t know for sure.” She says softly and strokes my hair. “I can’t answer that now. Let’s wait for Maya, and then we can talk more about what took place. Okay?”

I nod my head and try to relax. It’s a good thing I had some painkillers because I feel my arm throbbing. How did my life become such a mess?

I need to know what is wrong with me, then I’ll go back to The Netherlands on the first plane. To see my loving family. People who will never understand what happened to me. They will never know why I am screaming in the middle of the night. Never know they are living with a killer. Never know about the werewolves.

The fantasy world came to life for me, and I want nothing more than for it to go back to sleep. I am grateful for meeting my new friends, but the burden of killing someone and living in fear for the rest of my life will be too much.

I am in the arms of Amanda, still sobbing.

“Maya tells me she will be here in a couple of minutes. Everyone seems to be healing fine. It was a good thing we were on the grass-court celebrating. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been able to stop so many rogues.”

“Oliver?”

“He is on Gamma duty. He will come when he is allowed.”

I don’t answer her and wait for Maya to fix me up again.